Struggle Bus 🚌 :
Sometimes I don’t know how to escape my hom..
🕑 Added 2023-07-14 13:47:12 +0000 UTC
Struggle Bus 🚌 :
Sometimes I don’t know how to escape my home life but to get online and talk to people that don’t know. But lately I’ve been quieter because I’m in a fog. I’m sorry. Even though a lot of you probably think my life is nearly perfect, it’s the furthest from it. I battle most my demons alone and always have. I spend 85% of my time on my own when I am not shooting. I talk to my animals to stay social, sometimes I feel like I’m in outer-space. It’s dark out here, quiet, and no one will see you cry when you need to. Perfect!
The other 15% of the time I talk to someone who doesn’t understand and never will it seems. Surviving and Living aren’t the same to me anymore and sometimes I feel like I’m doing one more than the other. I know I’m not the only one.
I don’t hide things from myself. I don’t lie to myself. And I treat myself right- Usually. But, days/weeks like this happen and I realize I’m a little bit sad of being alone still and am good at masking it to blend in out here in the real world. Smile, nod, say hi/bye, ask how they are, wish a good day, move on- repeat. With those same questions hardly ever being asked in return. I can imagine how it is for some of you too. A lot of people just assume. But-I care when I ask because I know what it’s like not to be.
I noticed early in life that people like to talk about themselves though, and if you allow it- you won’t have to talk about yourself. Just let them blab and smile. Appear interested! - while trying to figure out the next normal person move. It can take a lot out of me personally. And, believe it or not too unless I’m on camera or playing a game I prefer not to stand out either. In real life I’m not the hottest girl in Walmart.
Wild Thought: Maybe I’ll put a time capsule in my yard with some of my best printed nudes, an autograph, and letters to the future. I have a ton of thoughts & tips and I am a little afraid of dying with them unheard. I’ll begin the letter by saying, Welcome to Pluto, Slut. & provide information for the best internet service. 😂
