Hey there,
I know not all of you follow my instagram, so you..
🕑 Added 2020-12-07 11:26:04 +0000 UTC
Hey there,
I know not all of you follow my instagram, so you might not know what's going on. I feel like I owe you a little explanation on why I'm kind of absent and my posts haven't been as steady as they normally are.
As mentioned before my mental health is still continuing to decline. I'm getting to a point where I am unable to handle the severity of it. Proper phrasing for that would be "crisis", though that alone is already hard to admit. There are many reasons why it got to this point, and non of them really are the main cause. I wanted to point that out, because after sharing the news that I was dumped this weekend, a lot of people criticized the person who I was with. However, just because he ended things with me, does not mean he deserved hate of any kind.
It is a collection of events, things, whatever, that became to much to bear at once. This was just a final push, so to say.
I'll spare you the details of my current state, as it has no added value to be known. I'm still working on fixing myself with my psychologist, though right now we're focused on avoiding any serious incidents.
I wanted to say I do not intend to take a 'full break' but I can't guarantee daily posts at the moment. I can understand if that uncertainty is a reason to cancel your subscription here. And that is okay. You all know I'm not here to force you to stay, since I believe that should be your choice and your choice only.
I didn't share this with you all in order to get sympathy or to be pitied. I care about my content and the people who I make it for, which is why I felt like I owed you some clarity, or transparency rather.
Thank you all for being here. It's hard to put into words how much it means to me, and how much you've helped me even. While I've put a lot of pressure on myself for my content, I've also gotten so much back for it. And I'm not talking money here. Before starting my onlyfans, I had a lot of trouble enjoying anything sexual. Due to certain traumas I ended up with a lot of issues. One being, how an orgasm would hurt, a lot. And I thought that was normal. But one time when I was recording a video, it didn't. I never ended up using the video, because I started crying immediately after. Realizing what I've been missing. Though the pain still happens sometimes, I owe you all for the times when it doesn't.
(If I giggle after I came, you'll know I genuinely enjoyed it)
Okay, this once again ended in an essay. But I didn't want to only talk about the negative things. I guess this is the most personal thing I've shared online, but I wouldn't have been able to if it wasn't for you guys. So again, Thank you. 💕
