lilithisfat
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PLS READ‼️ I’ve thought about this for a long while and rece..
🕑 Added 2022-04-11 08:57:50 +0000 UTC PLS READ‼️ I’ve thought about this for a long while and recently some uncontrollable life events have sort of pushed my hand, so It’s a good time to let ya’ll know what’s up. Its never been a secret that my main niche I participate in and make content for, I also make a lot of criticisms of. I’ve been vocal since the very start about unequal treatment, disrespect and abuse that Black models participating in feedism receive and while I thought my words and advocation would somehow create or at least inspire some sort of change, things have gotten…worse? I was just recently made aware of a few doxxing attempts made at my expense, for…literally just being a feedist model doing normal feedism shit but daring to be Black and vocal about the mistreatment I face and the imbalance of things in general. I’m not holding this as a grudge, but this is also something that never for some reason makes any waves in the “community” – I am a disabled Black person, I don’t have any family, I’ve been on my own since I was 14. This has happened to other Black trans sex workers, and it’s just something we all seem to move on from like it’s not insanely violent, messed up and specifically TARGETED. There is no wave to protect people like myself in this “community” which is a reason why I use quotes when I call it that. Moving on. This massive risk and hypervisibility I face performing this way and creating content for the fetish I love and the lifestyle I lead has proven to put me in *too much* danger to be worth it when I don’t make decent enough money to make sure I’m taking care of other things that can ensure more safety and security. And this is before getting into the physical aspect of it. Yall, Ive gained so much fucking weight and I haven’t so much as been tipped for clothes more than 3 times, let alone having the money to pay for insurance so I can go to the doctor and monitor my health and make sure I’m okay. I was already disabled before I made any big gains, so my health has gotten to the point where it’s noticeably declining, and I just…can’t really let myself keep doing this when I’m only like, getting sexual pleasure out of it (ocassionaly, im so stressed im hardly having any fun) and thats basically it, besides making some friends. But I don’t have to work 40+ hours a week making content to make friends in feedism, yknow? I can just be around. So, what I’m saying here is that I will no longer be centering the alteration of my body and gaining weight in my content and presence online. I’m not going to be *trying* to lose any weight but I am going to be back in the gym so I can get my back and leg strength back to where it used to be before I became a bump on a log to gain 50 pounds in 3 months. My back hurts all the time yall lmao my tits are HUGE! This hurts, and I don’t want to be so uncomfortable anymore. I’m sorry if this upsets you, but also not really. Cause the whole thing is I only have one body. And i’ve already made…………..a shit ton of feedism content. None of it is going anywhere and I will still be making some here and there it will just no longer be my primary focus and I will no longer be counting calories, monitoring my weight and intentionally gaining for a while. I’ll hopefully be doing some collabs this year and releasing them over the next year or so. I’ll 100% be making a lot of FEEDER content because…I have this fetish. Also will still be doing plenty stuffings and bloating. I just want to take back the control over my body and over my creative process and hopefully make more money. I’m burned out ya’ll and feeling bad about myself and my body for like…years because I can’t keep up is just too rough on my mental health. I may or may not circle back to centering the alteration of my body and gaining weight, but for now, that’s not the vibe around these parts. Lilith gotta take some time to get stronk. Big mommy. Strong mommy. Still fat mommy, too though. Remember my name is “Lilith is Fat” not “Lilith Gains Weight” soooo, Anyways if you’re a shithead about this I’ll block you. If you’re smart you’ll say congrats on making a positive life change and tip me if you can. Hey I put this everywhere else but wanted to make sure I’m transparent so it’s here too! Now, let it be clear: this does not mean I am no longer gaining or am attempting to lose. This does not mean I am no longer producing feedist content. All it means is that I am no longer centering the alteration of my body for a while. Gain hiatus. My body needs a break, and my mind does too. I just need to eat without counting every calorie, behave how I feel comfortable without being worried I’m being too active. I also really miss being stronger 😅 so yeah, pretty much nothing is changing except for there’s no more monthly gain updates cause I’m no longer watching my weight in that way. Always gonna be fat, always gonna be a feedist, always gonna eat like I do have health insurance (lol). So yeah hope you’re happy for me. Also I lowered my price back to 8.99 cause I’m nervous everyone is going to leave me over this :-)
