So, it seems a video won’t work, cause I’m unable to talk ab..
🕑 Added 2023-01-21 12:17:01 +0000 UTC
So, it seems a video won’t work, cause I’m unable to talk about it without crying my shit out 😫.
What I wanted to say, is that I am sorry, for not being here, and for postponing so much, honestly, I’m sorry for pushing away peoples that really care about me. Haven’t done it on purpose, and I hate that I have no better explanation for it. Been feeling like shit, depressed as fuck, for way too long.
As you know, for the past months i have been sick, and that is a fact, cold, then period, then toothache(that lasted almost to Christmas) then cold again, period again, pneumonia, and then I guess I was too overwhelmed by it. For a moment it felt ok, somehow, I was able to blame my interior pain with a physical one, and then a week ago, got better, health related, but still feeling like shit. It is damn hard to be in physical pain, but it is even worse, to feel the pain and not knowing what it hurts, nothing and no one to blame. So for the past week, got even more far away from everyone, and I know I have made some other people suffer too, but believe me, I did it more. Been sleeping almost all day, not knowing if is day or night, my house became a mess(and I am OCD cleaning), couldn’t pay attention to shit, my pc was on playing movies I wasn’t paying attention at. Barely eating anything, and I am a foodie. My house became silent, no music, no singing, and I do sing a lot when I’m at home. Couldn’t do your requests of videos, because I quite never felt horny, and that surprises me too.
I’m not putting this up here looking for pity or something else, I’m just explaining my behaviour from the past months, trying to get over it and start again.
All those who made it here, and read the message to this point, either cares about me deeply, and I am sorry for not returning the feelings, or, is in a similar situation, feeling that there is not actual reason to keep going, but you keep going, there have to be rough patches of road from time to time, brace yourself and get out of it, you can do it, not slowly not faster, but in your own time, give yourself the time you need. And for all those who don’t understand what are you going through, or make fun of you saying that “meh depression is not real”, you know as well as I know, that it is, and hurts like shit.
I don’t even know if what I’m saying makes sense anymore, I’m running my mouth in here. But you are strong enough to get through it, in time, do not force yourself, have patience with you, and when you feel ready, go step into the world, and make your life better for you!
I am going to use my time, being here more, and being in contact with you more. So if you feel like talking, and when you might feel like talking, about other than what OnlyFans is known for, I’ll be there to listen and if possible, give you a piece of hope.
Do not judge me too harsh OnlyFans, apart from being an “object of desire” after all, I am a human as all of you.
So brace yourself, cause I finally feel motivated!
