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Sex With Sirena - How ghosting is a coping mechanism by Samantha Manovski
🕑 Added 2024-04-14 22:57:50 +0000 UTCHOW GHOSTING IS A COPING MECHANISM
Ghosting—a term that has become all too familiar in the world of modern dating. When a woman finds herself suddenly left in the dark, uncertain of where she stands with a man, the experience can be disheartening, to say the least.
I remember being so attracted to this guy. We had one of those experiences where things flowed so organically, we had solid banter and playful wit. He lived in Brisbane and I was in the Sunshine Coast.
We texted for weeks.. until one day he stopped replying.
🤷🏽♀️
I didn’t chase cos it’s not my style but honestly, it had been a hot minute since I had been ghosted. I didn’t realise people still did that. It was 2021 when it happened.
THEN, on Sunday, at an in-person workshop I hosted, a woman shared that she had been ghosted. And I was like - woah, it’s 2024... and it’s still a thing?
For many men, ghosting offers a sense of relief from the discomfort of confrontation and conflict resolution. It's not about weakness, but rather a coping mechanism rooted in avoiding emotional discomfort.
The person who ghosts often struggles to navigate the complexities of rejecting someone, fearing the intensity of the other person's emotions and projecting an inability to handle the truth.
This avoidance of confrontation may stem from past experiences where conflict led to ruptured relationships, leaving a deep-seated discomfort with emotional confrontation.
The guy who ghosted me ended up messaging me months later, apologising. He had met this woman and things were complicated, he explained.
This was a red flag I totally missed (or rather, I ignored). My desire to experience that playful vibe we shared when we first met... I wanted more of that.
Here’s the thing, for some men, the fear of suffocation in a relationship can be traced back to unresolved issues, such as the "mother wound," where they feel responsible for managing their mother's emotions and internal pressure.
In other words, he was avoidant AF.. and right after we shared intimate, he stopped messaging me. He had promised he’d come visit the sunny coast and didn’t... never stuck to the plan and never messaged to cancel it.
He probably felt my anxiousness. And I probably shouldn’t have slept with him after he ghosted me the first time. Ugh.. no regrets. Only lessons.
Don’t be that guy who does that thing. It’s like, I’d respect you more if you had the courage to tell me straight!
I’m such an advocate for honest and transparent communication.
So here’s my advice to men who have a hard time rejecting and opt out for ghosting instead... You get to break this cycle, you can empower yourself by embracing vulnerability and addressing conflicts directly. By communicating openly and honestly about your feelings and intentions, you not only awaken deeper trust and security in your relationships but also cultivate personal growth and integrity.
Integrity as a man - it’s the sexiest thing you could wear.
Ultimately, by honouring your word and embracing vulnerability, you can transform the quality of your relationships, attract high-quality connections built on mutual respect and emotional honesty. It's not just about her happiness; it's about your own journey towards becoming the best version of yourself.
