ohwhatawoman
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Why am i natural for you?
🕑 Added 2022-11-25 17:29:31 +0000 UTC
I don't know, I noticed a thing that with age great meanings get blurred. And this is also a fast life course, packed with all the variety. and when you plunge into it, you realize how much more of all this variety there is, where you can spend your time, what role you can play and who to be…
I read Eric Bern's book about the images we put on to play or allow ourselves to be someone. To play, perhaps, as a role in which we enter to confirm the prohibitions or permits that our family or country has given us....
In fact, it is a very informative and cool book, I read it 2-3 years ago and I have it all in notes. and I recently had the opportunity to review it, to look throug all smart things, becoming wiser))) I think I'll read it again. It's not an easy one, and if you've never been interested in psychology, it will be difficult, well, I wouldn't understand anything at all if I read it at 20, well you get me. And to begin with, I can recommend Ethart Tole “New Earth”, he very easily, clearly, and most importantly honestly brings you to the realization that the voice in your head is not you, it is probably an awakening, so to speak, my disidentification with mumbling in my head and my true personality, happened after this book.
I started writing "I am natural for you" back in 2018 on my big account. Yes, I guess I'll say it more than once about my big great lost account, but let it be))) I'm like that dude from the movie who sits in a bar and tells how big and rich he... WAS)
EEmmmm back to the phrase "I am natural for you", its main purpose was that I'm just too lazy to pull someone on myself, I'm too lazy to photoshop photos. I'm too lazy to worry about my figure, I'm too lazy to bother so much with gyms and diets, I'm too lazy to squeeze myself out. But I want to be, I also want to post photos and show my body, I like it, I just fucking like it the way it is. I don't want to wait for it to be perfect and then start posting it, or blogging about sports: no, it's not my story at all. Can I just post my pics and be the way I am, without a perfect apartment, new expensive underwear or a super-body, but I also have a place and a right for myself and my audience if there is one,. And there actually was as I wrote above))))
This phrase is about an internal arrangement. About accepting me like this. It is very interesting to me that by not denying myself past publications and self-perception, I mean loving myself, accepting myself. There have been a lot of interesting changes, well, personally, as I see it. It seems to me that the world has become simpler, the world no longer needs perfection, great wealth, but it wants honesty, truth and naturalness, simplicity. I really hope that I was able to put at least a little bit into it. In Wachowski's "Cloud Atlas" there is a phrase that the ocean consists of drops.... And the main thing when working with visuals is when you give up trends, your own horse races for prey, these chases, for something cool. That is, other people's meanings leave your space and photos and the hero himself appears: in my case, I am, and in yours, you or some actor, model, it doesn't matter, the main thing is your own vision .....
I also started to look better. Sure, some desired things I didn't get, I mean more ass, better skin, longer legs. The things I would never get anyway. Well, you know what I mean. Everyone has their own lists, both men and women, but what has already been has grown and filled me with energy. When you upload your hero to some game, you can choose wether it would be smart, cunning, fast, like in cyberpunk. and as if trying to improve what is not given: height, hair, everyone has their own, this is a sad and pointless waste of time. But you can upgrade your naturalness, reality, look, unique facial features.
I want to be as it is, I feel so comfortable internally, I feel myself. And so it happened, I started writing "I am natural for you"
I saw that people picked it up and wrote it in their profiles, probably it helped them to come out with something of their own, maybe they put something of their own there, or maybe they felt the same.
This phrase was in no way connected with the fact that I changed something in myself or did not change, or that I was trying to show myself better than someone ....
It sounds like “hey, look at me”, or “I know you're looking at me and it's nice, I'm the way I am, you can look if you want to”, super simple vibe
I don't like competition and I don't understand with whom and for what to compete. People who know me well also know that I always want to be friends and get joy out of talks. They know that I will not try to rise above someone and make somebody feel bad. I often suffer from this kindness that no one likes, like... no one asked me to be kind, and no one promised me to respond with friendliness to my friendliness, anyway.
I don't know, maybe because this is my kind of simple world, where I have creativity, my favorite audience and loved ones, and I don't need to fight with anyone except my laziness, which in fact is symbolized by this phrase: I'm too lazy to fuck around, I am what I am for you.
I remember taking photos of my body from a simple apartment, with some kind of dumb and funny background without trying to seem better. In some simple underwear and with an imperfect body and it collected a lot of reactions. And it was my own breakthrough to allowing myself to be myself.
I also really like it when everything looks stylish. Well I mean, detailed stories about skin or cellulite are not my vibe, I like some kind of search in the plot of a photo and a phrase that allows everyone to find something of their own. it seems to me that one of the most important things, both in a simple human relationship, and with the artist and the viewer, is space, I like when I am given it and I like to give it back.
Now, after a while and looking back, I like that I took such photos, because these are my own pieces of my cinema. But I remember my feelings well and I was very worried about sharing it....
After all, the world is exactly like this. Well, for me personally, ie is like that! This is my freedom to live, it doesn't mean that someone's worlds are wrong. But I primarily sell my own taste and the world to myself. Would I buy a ticket to my movie? my answer is yes, would I buy a subscription for myself? my answer is yes, would I buy a book about myself? one hundred percent!
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