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1051. Memories of The Lake
🕑 Added 2025-08-15 13:38:09 +0000 UTCTheir hell was only just beginning.
They hit a string of dead ends after diverging from the chamber, leading them to constantly backtrack through the maze. Incidentally, they were not opposed by the Alabaster Mistress whenever they were heading towards a dead end.
However, the moment they backtracked towards the chamber, a Mistress would manifest to stifle their progress. This led them to believe that the Mistress only manifested when they were taking the correct path. Furthermore, this explained why the Judge’s Prides did not encounter her first.
No one believed they could have manifested without Raoul’s presence. They had all but confirmed that Raoul was central to their play. Death and Misery were two unstoppable forces that had driven Raoul to become who she was today, and even now, they were still dictating where she could go.
Not that it mattered to Raoul. Death and Misery were persistent. They’d follow her into every avenue of her life, dead end or not. Raoul did not see the point of running. Acedia handled her clumsily.
Bruises, cuts, abrasions – wounds deep enough to reach bone bloomed along her body, but she did not care.
It paled in comparison to the unhealed wounds her loved ones carried. Yet, she was not oblivious to the way the twins were looking at her. Shells could not display emotion. This was a well-known fact.
Despite this, the twins offered Healing Serum; despite knowing it had no effect on this place.
“Raoul.” (Orth).
“You need healing.” (Thras).
“30ml dose of Serum H. Intravenous route as per the amended Otherworldly Healer Amendment Act. Rationale: Laceration by the femoral artery–” (Orth).
“Save it. The quantity may carry over when we leave the Audition. You’ll need it.”
Raoul’s wounds bled, but it was far from life threatening. The amount of blood one carried did not reflect the HP a person currently possessed. However, Raoul’s HP had dropped by a quarter.
“But Raoul…” (Orth)
“… Raoul…” (Thras)
She slumped against the wall. They had hit another dead end. Heading back would result in another confrontation with the Mistress, or worse, they’d get caught up with Jury and Death’s battle.
Then, there was the issue with Acedia’s noncompliance. The Mistress had wracked her with so many lashes she cowered at the mention of misery. It was pathetic, Raoul thought. She was acutely aware of Acedia’s identity as Mimicry.
The infamous Eternal Night Corrupted was known for replacing its prey and repeating their final words ad Infinium until it claimed its next victim. She was supposed to believe that this was the same being who had slipped free through ImpulseWorks’ highest ranking Workers and the Anomaly Recovery Unit.
However, Raoul did not judge Acedia. As pathetic as it was to watch the Head’s half-naked body writhe in anguish, she could not blame her. Misery was crueler than any other mistress.
The only way to escape misery, in her mind, was to embrace death.
Death’s embrace was a cold one, but it would be quick, silent…
“Less messy.” Raoul cupped her bleeding upper thigh.
She noticed that the twins were awfully attentive once they had noticed she was bleeding in that general area. She didn’t say another word to them, instead choosing to smother the wound with her tail.
“Let them fuss over you.” Frost, who was kneeling on top the body of an exhausted Joy said without turning.
They had been running from the Alabaster Mistress for over an hour now, and Joy no longer had the stamina to keep up.
“Gam… Gam…”
“Listen to your mom and rest.” Res scolded. “The dead ends are a good safe zone. Who would have known. Knowing Act X, a ‘dead end’ could have been trapped. I guess they do want their Actors to get far. Hah. As far as they can, with the slim odds they’ve given them.”
Her tail was positioned beneath Joy’s head. She had let her use it as a pillow, whilst Frost’s Coat of Sanguine Prejudice was folded onto her like a blanket.
“Ras…”
“Please, just get some rest. One hour of shut eye isn’t going to hurt anyone.”
Raoul was surprised by Res’ tone. She did not believe Res would be any good around children. The dynamic of the two was awkward, but it did not change how Joy looked up at Res.
They weren’t blood related at all. From what she knew, Joy barely knew who Res was. Despite this, Joy looked at her with eyes that only a blood-relative could possess. She couldn’t fathom how the two had become close when one could barely speak, and the other was known to be…
… No. Res… isn’t the same Res. The Res in that body isn’t the same one I’ve known all my life.
At the center of them was Frost.
What is it about her that caused her to change, aside from bringing her back from Corruption? Does Res not fear what will happen when misery takes hold of the one person holding them together?
At the core of Raoul’s fear was the lack of a future worth looking forward to. Misery follows no matter where he walked. It was only at a dead end that misery had stopped chasing them.
“Raoul. Lift your tail. Let them look.” Frost spoke again, her voice much lower than before. “Are you afraid they’ll be hurt?”
Raoul looked down at herself. The way the blood pooled between her legs was a memory undoubtedly burned into the minds of the twins.
However, Frost was half right.
“They’re shells. It doesn’t matter to them.” Raoul said dismissively.
“Raoul…” (Orth).
“… The blood…” (Thras).
They were expressionless, empty husks of friends who once looked up to Raoul like an older brother. But they had changed, and nothing could be done to bring them back. They could only be preserved, or better yet, left untouched and their hearts unopened.
Raoul did not wish to associate herself with them.
This was the truth. She didn’t say it out loud, but she knew that Frost could see this in her behavior.
“You’re wrong Raoul. You know it yourself. Look at them and tell me there is nothing inside of them. Shells aren’t husks. They still care about you.”
“For better or worse.” Raoul dipped a hand into the blood. “… My presence has always brought them ruin. Why are you two trying to help me?”
“You need healing.” (Orth).
“We have to heal you.” (Thras).
“… Healers… You’re all… so nosy.”
“For better or worse.” Frost murmured. “If you really don’t care, then why are you constantly rejecting the people around you?”
Raoul had several answers ready. The first hinged on the fact that these same people kept coming back to him. Cer was the primary example. Now, the twins were doing the same. Even after everything she had done, they were still here.
Resentful of her, of course. How couldn’t they be? But here regardless, even if they didn’t see eye to eye or understand.
That was enough to make Raoul think.
“I came to them first. It’s how it started… You’re half right about the blood. I didn’t understand it at the time. I was just as naive as her.”
“Her?” Frost asked, wanting her to continue.
Raoul swallowed deeply and stared back at her crimson eyes in the reflection. Those same eyes belonged to the one last sister who was seldomly ever acknowledged.
“Ber.”
*
Across the forest, and over the hills far away, was a shallow lake centered in an ancient caldera. The caldera was no stranger to harsh winds. The lake was so shallow that it constantly froze past midnight, which made it inhospitable to the local wildlife.
It could not be used as a waterhole for grazing animals.
But migratory birds often found their way here.
This was the home of one of Raoul’s sisters.
“Huh? Aaa… Aaaaa!”
The young Ber made a strange sound. Her threadbare clothes barely clung to her body. There were more patches than there was clothing, making her look like a starving beggar.
She gouged into the live body of a small bird. But this was not why she made these noises.
Ber had no one to talk to. I was rarely beside her too. It stunted her ability to talk. She never could pronounce words. I tried teaching her when I had time. But…
“Aaaaa!” Ber smiled at Raoul. Beneath her were two birds. She cupped one and offered it to him as he arrived with a sack containing medical equipment such as bandages, and even new clothes.
She was always smiling when I came to visit. But she never asked me to stay behind, or cling onto me like Cer. She was much more reserved. Ber knew her place was here, and she never questioned what happened beyond the hills. She was just…
Raoul remembered the nights Ber spent at the edge of the river with tears streaming down her cheeks. Rain was uncommon near the caldera. A part of him believed that the lake was sustained by her endless deluge of tears.
Ber never asked why this was happening to her. If she did, then it was unintelligible. Her existence hinged on being someone who she wasn’t and was left to live in solitude in the lake for over a decade.
Still, this young Ber smiled whenever Raoul came to visit.
… I didn’t understand her. She wasn’t angry like Cer, or curious like Res. If I had to describe Ber with one word…
“R-Ra… Raaa ooowwwl! Birdz…!”
A slightly older Ber ran into a flock of birds. They took off, and she pointed at them as they merged with the sky.
Bound. She was a wolf, but she didn’t have the same instincts as one. She ran into prey for the sake of making them flap their wings rather than sating her hunger. She didn’t have the same bloodlust as Cer or myself. Of the three, she most closely resembled my mother.
“… Wolf… Wings? Where… fly?”
“To their next stop. Birds don’t stay in one place for too long.”
“No nest?”
“They do have nests but, not all of them do.”
“Confused…”
Raoul did not know much about birds herself. But Ber was satisfied regardless of this. Whether she knew or not did not seem to ultimately matter to her.
My words meant little to Ber. She couldn’t understand me half the time. Nor could I blame her. I… at around that same time, knew how dangerous my truths were. But she would always sit down quietly and absorb every word. She’d laugh at new words and try to pronounce them. She used to get so frustrated at being unable to pronounce my name.
Another vision of Ber flashed before her eyes. She cradled a dying bird. It had been pecked by its mother, and its wings were mangled. She presented it to Raoul with a whimper.
“Why? Not family?”
“… They couldn’t afford to keep it. It wasn’t strong to begin with. Just a wasted mouth to feed.”
“… unwanted duckling?”
“The ugliest duckling.”
I wish I had never said that to her. It was also my fault for underestimating Ber. I should have known Ber was smart enough to compare it to her circumstances. Or… I should have known it was her first cry for help.
The baby bird convulsed, and a worm burst from between its legs. Following it was a clutch of eggs, and smaller worms that dragged organs behind. It frightened Ber. Not long ago, she had asked how she had been born, and as triplets, she couldn’t help but compare it with her mother’s birth.
“Does Lethe resent us?”
Raoul didn’t know. The past Lethe loved them. But what about the Lethe now?
I answered vaguely again. I just didn’t want her to get hurt. I didn’t know it would only further hurt her. Would anything have changed if she knew how much Lethe loved them? That her name, before her memory loss, was Beryl? I drowned myself in misery reliving these moments.
Raoul did not return for the longest period.
This was when the Solemn Paw was mobilizing throughout Grandis at full force. Puritas’ Orders had begun cleansing Demi-Human villages en masse.
In the months leading to the village’s massacre, Raoul visited Ber one last time, and she found her sitting in the lake. Blood clouded the waters beneath Ber as she clutched her stomach. A look of terror filled her eyes and uttered her brother’s name.
“Raoul…”
“Ber… What… What happened… You’re bleeding…”
Raoul’s thoughts went to the darkest place imaginable. The blood came from between her legs. As someone who had seen the worst of what humans were capable of, she naturally came to the conclusion tragedy had struck Ber in her absence.
However, Ber trembled, uttering:
“Egg. I’m laying an egg. Like the bird. I was sleeping. Then my stomach suddenly started hurting. I thought I was hungry. But blood suddenly started coming out and I... Raoul… Am I going to die?”
“I… I don’t know.”
Raoul was at a loss for words. In retrospect, had their relationship been closer, it would have been a memory worth laughing over, because Raoul truly did not know what was wrong with her. She had never heard of someone bleeding in that area. And if she didn’t know, then how was Ber supposed to know?
The girl could only compare it to what she knew. That bird with the parasite made her believe she was about to birth a monster. But even thought Raoul did not know what to do, Ber broke into a small smile.
… She smiled. Despite this, she smiled. It was her first period. I, Raoul of the Solemn Paw, was uneducated on that matter. I was so grossly ignorant that I could not offer my sister an ounce of comfort. All I remember coming back to me were my words at the time. The ugliest duckling.
Raoul lamented that she could do more for Ber. It was in complete contrast with her resigned attitude. But at the same time, if she hadn’t said those words to Ber, then would she have reacted the same way? Yes, because it didn’t change that the bird died to a parasite in front of her.
No matter what Raoul did, she could not have comforted Ber.
Suddenly, the lighting of the lake changed, and Raoul found it expanding as far as the eye could see. The lake was turbulent, and she remained cast in the shadows of the clouds overhead.
But a voice spoke to her from the other side where a sole star shone.
“Were you aware that your presence was enough for her?”
Comments
Syringe
Thank you for reading!
Dawn cat
Thanks for the chapter
Syringe
Sorry, I mean that it's next to it, rather than the artery itself being lacerated. Thank you for reading!
Windezz
Laceration by the femoral artery -> Laceration to the femoral artery I assume it’s an injury to one of the femoral arteries itself, not that it was around the artery, as it pretty much travels the length of a femur. Having said that, a lacerated artery is one heck of a wound! live in solitude in the lake -> live in solitude by the lake Poor Ber :/
