TravelingDreamer
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The Cultivator Chronicles: A Merchant’s Lament
🕑 Added 2025-01-05 10:06:51 +0000 UTCThe Road of Ridiculousness
We landed by the road, thought it was fine,
Till a peacock of privilege crossed the line.
“Hand over the beast!” he bellowed with pride,
“Why?” I asked, my patience wide-eyed.
He sputtered, he roared, then screamed some attack—
Rue stared him down, and he wet his slacks.
City of Crazy Colors
Through narrow streets, we walked like fools,
Past bathrobe guards with farming tools.
“Kowtow three times and call me grandpa!”
What was this place—a bizarre opera?
Al played the noble, Mahya rolled her eyes,
While Rue just sniffed food and ignored the guys.
Daddy Dearest
Then came the city lord, all puffed and spry,
“Call me daddy, or prepare to die!”
I rubbed my face, ready to snap,
Was everyone here in need of a nap?
But no, it’s custom—they’re just that mad,
With family titles driving them bad.
Naked Justice
On the road again, with thugs in sight,
Demanding our gold, ready to fight.
Mahya punched one, I zapped a few,
Al shot calmly—nothing new.
Then we stripped them down and sent them away,
Naked and humbled, with Rue leading the way.
Sword-Surfing Psycho
Up in the air, peace reigned at last,
Until a lunatic came flying fast.
On a sword—yes, a sword!—he zoomed through the sky,
Throwing lightning and poison—what? Why?!
I fried him, we landed, and then I declared:
“This world is bonkers. Let’s get out of here!”
Final Reflections
From grandpas to daddies, from threats to bare bums,
This world’s full of idiots swinging their thumbs.
I came here to trade, not to fight,
But these folks lose their minds at the mere sight.
Next time, I’m bringing Rue’s growl as a guide—
When Rue says "crazy," I’m turning aside!
Comments
Rocketman
Lol
TravelingDreamer
Thank you
Maria Gunnersen
A good song nerly as funny as the song made for rue
