alexaballoongirl
patreon
[ANNOUNCEMENT] About my absence, my actual status and my future.
🕑 Added 2022-12-24 23:00:05 +0000 UTCHi everyone! I’m Alexa! Sometimes a Balloon Girl, sometimes a Silicone Girl, sometimes a normal girl... but this time i'm here to talk to you as Alexandra, the girl behind all this project.
This message is to speak a little longer about what happened to me during all this time of absence, to my health, to my content and what’s gonna happen in the future not only with myself but on the different platforms (including Patreon).
Disclaimer: This message has been edited for weeks and I haven't completed it because most of the time i feel like i haven’t talk too much about something or something may be misunderstood. Sorry if i’m not accurate with what i say but remember… English is not my first language.
First of all, and to disipate any doubt, i’m fine. I’m alive which is the most important thing at this point. Besides that, this year has been REALLY complicated in most terms which i’ll try to detail here. Most of the things made it almost impossible to do content this year as i planned (both sets and streams).
Mental Health
The reason I disappeared during the pandemic was me struggling a lot with my depression. The urge of need help but don’t know what to do or how to approach it is really frustrating but even more is your mind saying “yes. I need help” and your body saying “No. I wanna stay in bed for 10 days”. Is the urge of wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely... the urge of wanting to have more friends and being afraid of socializing...
Dealed with that for months until i finally got help and started therapy here where i live. Has been really helpful during this months and thanks to that i’m able to get into a lot of personal struggles that i really didn’t wanna show you all (even my close friends) because is the feeling of not wanting to disturb. I know it sucks and i shouldn’t feel bad about it but it still hits (Yeah, i know i talked about this time ago).
The good thing is that all this (and the pandemic being in its lows now) are helping a lot to get me back to the spirit I want to have from now and socialize more in this "new normality" we are getting into.
UPDATE: Also, there’s one thing added to my mental health and is my current family situation. This is something a little private so i'll keep it as short as i can. My grandpa’s health is deteriorating more and more at a point that his future is uncertain so we are taking care of him and all the family in this hard times. I know this is a little too personal but we are in a moment where “anything can happen at anytime”.
Physical Health
I’ll point to the elephant in the room. I’ve gained weight and a lot. And no, is not my kink… please stop reffering to it as if i like it because i don’t. I really don’t wanna be like this and i'm doing my best to improve my body.
The good thing about my weight is that I've been working on it and i’m slowly getting back to normal levels (Considering i reached morbid obesity lines).
There's still a long way to go but i know i can reach my goal to stay at 160 lbs (Right now i’m at 195 lbs and it is still an improvement considering i’ve been 210 lbs…).
Exercises and a lot of cardio inside and outside VR! I need to work on my belly!
Keeping my weight aside, there are other things that started to be an issue on my health. I need to wear glasses now and it’s weird how fast my vision started to deteriorate. It was a thing that happened from one month to another!
On the other side, something i’ve been dealing with a lot is my gallbladder. I need to get it removed because it is really damaged and is starting to get stones on it but the waiting list for that is taking forever. Is not that severe. I can do things normally but sometimes i eat some random stuff and at night i’ll be struggling A LOT.
Also with that i had to take care of my teeth. I’ve never seen a dentist because there wasn’t money for it….. until one of my tooth broke VERTICALLY and i had a root canal at urgencies (Spoiler: IT HURTS LIKE SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA) and having all my teeth treated before getting the crown done, including the removal of my wisdom teeth (and another waiting list).
Public Health in Chile isn’t bad but could be better… the issue is that all of this went almost AT THE SAME TIME!
With both things about my health I decided to take some time outside and start a new project i had in mind since i was a child… being a kart driver and compete in a (Rental) Karting Championship on 2022.
The karting Championships
My passion for racing has always been there in video games, F1, VR and all that! And having enough money to go IRL to some karting circuits here around my region made me think about sing up to some karting championship and, at the same time, start the project of a new Championship focused on the audiovisual side of it and the procedure during races. It was something we were having in mind even before starting my kinky projects. Surprisingly is a real hit that made us famous enough to get attention of a TV Station (yes, i was on TV for something that wasn’t a TV Show! AND YES! I WAS ON A GAME SHOW!). 
On the other championships i got really good battles, podiums, one victory, a small injury on one of my wrists and a lot of fun! But the issue with all this is that i had to travel constantly to Santiago and focus a lot there, making it REALLY HARD for me to make content constantly since i didn’t have my PC with me and i wasn’t in a position to get my forms with me or my inflatable suit. I wasn’t having time to make content and i didn’t know how to tell you because i understand how different is for you to see me being a Balloon Girl and now focus on karting and yes, this is something i should’ve tell you before but, as i said before, I didn’t wanna worry you. Didn’t know how to approach the situation and my mind wasn’t helping either.
The issue started to get real when i watched my balance and saw the truth side about my karting therapy and the way i was dealing with my mental health because when i tried to get some new forms for content i realized how much i spent on this and how... i ran out of money.
The money situation
Ok, is not that dramatic. I’m not in real bankrupt but just realized how bad i’ve been handling my savings and my incomes. It wasn’t that bad and speaks a lot about how i avoid this kind of confrontation (some of the things i really learned this months. God, FFS! Therapy really works).
What i’m trying to say with this is that I ASSUME FULL RESPONSIBILITY OF THIS, INCLUDING THE LACK OF CONTENT. THERE ISN'T ANY EXCUSE TO BE THAT ABESNT IN THIS PLATFORM WITHOUT ANY ADVICE!
And please don’t consider this as me begging for money because that is not how i need to handle this. I wanna handle it as a functional adult who understands what happened.
Everything wasn’t that bad until i realized how bad the situation about traveling all the time for the kart racing. But even with that another thing that made things worse is the fact that my room isn't getting any upgrade at all from the landlord (after the promises made since 2020 "out of contract") so the situation is making me need to move to another studio or another more comfortable place to work on my IRL and Kink work... The idea is move to the metropolitan region but sadly everything got really expensive now and with a lot of paperwork to do... and hey, surprise! I need the money for it so i’m stuck on a loop where i and just i got into.
This needs to be handled maturely by a content creator who needs to keep working on what she loves and always loved and that’s what i’m gonna do. But also knowing that “no money means… no animation!”
So, what am I gonna do? (RADDA, RADDA) 
The future
First things first, i wanna keep something totally clear. I’M NOT RETIRING.
I may be on hiatus and struggling to do content but that doesn’t mean i’ll be out of business on videos or streamings… The most i want now is get back on my suit, rig or forms to do stuff we like! And yes, this includes the videos i have in debt with my sponsors and Patrons!
But first i need to get everything done as transparent as possible.
I’m gonna edit and upload old videos that weren't released yet and hopefully upload them soon to Patreon where i’ll keep the main flow of my balloon content (and my other platforms for my Silicone Content). This is while i can solve some things here and start doing content again regularly (Summer isn’t the best to do thtis kind of content @.@ Latex gets too hot in a bad way!).
In the karting championships I’ll retire from 2 of the 3 tournaments i’m into to save money and focus on looking a new house or apartment. If i see it necessary i’ll retire from all of them to save as much as i can. It may be a little hard to get at first but, as i said before, this post isn’t to beg for money but to clarify how i’ll be working to make content to get all this sorted first.
Everything extra i could get from Patrons and Subscribers will be destinated to new clothing (because yeah, i need better clothing for my vanilla form and my silicone form), new suits, new cosplays and of course new props for future sets and edits!
But for now everything i may earn will be to save for a new house or apartment to rent. That will be my priority at this point.
Starting 2023 i’ll be focusing as much as i can to get this done. That means i’ll go back doing content as my main job and make stuff just like in the old times.
I’ll also change the billing system here to the new one so people won’t be charged twice at the end of the month and i’ll do my best to ensure content monthly and hopefully every week. This also means that a price adjustment will be made to get realistic goals both for me and my patrons.
My karting championship project will also be a priority because in 2023 i’ll become CEO of the club, but i’ll try to run both things separately and not let the timing interfere between one and the other. Is some part of my IRL stuff i wanna keep working on. As i said before one time: "I can't do fifty things, but probably i can do fifteen"
Again, to clarify... I’m not retiring! I’ll not stop doing content here or my other socials because I LOVE TO DO EXPANSION AND INFLATION CONTENT! You have been really patient asking for it and looking if i’m okay and i can’t thank you enough for that!
The big goal of 2023
And if this grows really big and we can save enough there’s one big thing in mind:
During the pandemic i’ve been really glad to work with some amazing people at SizeCon, where i helped being a facilitator during SizeCon Micro 2021 and 2022. All the people and the connections i made are so amazing and something i wanna hopeully one day get in person.
This 2023 they’ll finally be able to come back to an in person SizeCon and believe me when i say i don’t wanna miss it.
My main goal for 2023 will be getting a ticket and taking part in the Con of my dreams, meeting all of you amazing people! This has been almost impossible because the Visa waiver situation for Chilean citizens were almost cancelled but yesterday i got the news that it was renewed and the dream shines again!
I’ll explain more during January but yes… if everything goes well we can BE together in the US on 2023!
This is not gonna be easy.
2023 will hopefully be the year to come back creating content and I hope I can be here with you many more time! And also hope you are doing great, happy, lovely and amazing… please never forget how amazing you are! DON’T LET ANYONE PUSH YOU DOWN, THAT INCLUDES YOURSELF!
Is hard to say this without getting emotional but believe me when i say i’m happy to ever met you. You literally saved my life when you started supporting me and i’ll do my best to return as much as i can of that gratitude.
Said that, i wish you a really Happy Holidays, Happy Christmas, Merry Chrysler, a wonderful last week of 2022 and an AMAZING 2023!
Let’s live the future. Let’s be ourselves.
Thank you. For everything
Alexandra Fernandez. “Alexa”
