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🕑 Added 2025-06-12 16:23:16 +0000 UTCChapter 351: If You Can Still Laugh, That’s a Good Sign
Inside the hospital room.
“What’s going on?”
Adam’s expression was somewhat strange.
“I... I need to ask you something.”
George hesitated.
“Go ahead.”
Adam looked at him.
“I think I might have a skin problem…”
George stammered.
“Oh, boy!”
Adam couldn’t help but let out a Sheldon-like exclamation.
He already had a pretty good guess.
George clearly realized that Adam probably knew as well. Blushing, he said, “It looks like a rash. I think I know what it is, but I can’t get a close look at it myself, so I’m not sure.”
“Take off your pants.”
Adam sighed, rubbing his forehead.
He had been about 80% sure before, but now he was 95% certain.
“I think I can just describe it. It’s red…”
George hesitated, his hands resting on his waistband, making one last attempt to avoid it.
“If you can describe it and you already suspect what it is, why not just go straight to treatment? Why ask me?”
Adam wasn’t too eager to examine him either. With that, he turned to leave.
He needed to wash his hands.
At this moment, he finally understood Sheldon’s germophobia and obsessive-compulsive tendencies a little better.
In the world of American TV shows, frequent handwashing and disinfection aren’t just the paranoia of a ‘crazy person’—they’re actually quite necessary. You never know what you might come into contact with.
“Wait.”
George reached out to stop Adam.
Adam swiftly dodged him. “Stop!”
George’s chubby face turned crimson with embarrassment.
Adam’s reaction said it all.
Realizing he had overreacted, Adam reminded himself that this wasn’t the response of a professional doctor—it was his past life instincts as an ordinary person, blindly fearing STDs.
“You have two choices: either diagnose yourself, and I leave.”
Seeing George’s expression, Adam’s professional instincts kicked in again, and he softened his tone. “Or, you take off your pants and let me examine it. No matter what it is, early diagnosis and treatment are key.”
George hesitated for a moment but ultimately unbuckled his belt, turning his head toward the ceiling while letting Adam examine him.
“So?”
“It looks like syphilis.”
Adam recognized it at a glance.
“Whew.”
George let out a sigh of relief.
He was sure he hadn’t had it before, and given that he had been intimate just last night and was already showing symptoms, it was likely early-stage syphilis.
Treatment was simple: a sufficient dose of penicillin would take care of it. At least it wasn’t something as terrifying and incurable as HIV.
“Don’t relax just yet.”
Adam warned, “This is just a preliminary diagnosis—it’s not 100% certain. You need to get tested immediately. A pathogen culture is necessary to screen for all types of gonorrhea. You should know, syphilis isn’t the only one out there.”
“R-right.”
George tensed up again.
“There’s an old saying in hospitals: Don’t hop on random public buses.”
Adam smirked. “So, who gifted you this lovely present?”
“I don’t know how this happened…”
George looked distraught. “Olivia… She didn’t seem like that kind of person.”
“Just her?”
Adam’s expression twitched, secretly relieved that he had stuck to his principles.
Olivia was that pretty young nurse who had admired him and even tried to pursue him.
If he hadn’t been strict about his own rules, he could have been the one infected.
Hospitals in TV dramas really were chaotic and dangerous.
Looks like Barney might just win that bet after all…
“Of course.”
George nodded. “I’m not that kind of guy. If we didn’t truly love each other, I wouldn’t have done it.”
“You sure?”
Adam looked at him strangely.
Even now, he still thought they were in love?
If George had been faithful, then the only logical conclusion was that Olivia… had not been.
“…”
George read the meaning in Adam’s eyes and fell silent for a moment before asking, “Adam, what should I do?”
“I already told you—get screened for gonorrhea and start treatment as soon as possible.”
Adam frowned.
“I mean Olivia.”
George looked conflicted. “How should I deal with her?”
(This part is intentionally obscured in the original text.)
“Do you really have to ask?”
Adam scoffed. “Obviously, you need to find out who else she’s been with. He or they—along with her—will all need treatment. And just so you know, whether you tell her or not, I will be reporting this. Otherwise, this could spread, and the entire hospital could turn into a petri dish of disease.”
Who knew how many people in the hospital had already been exposed?
Although these infections are primarily transmitted through sexual contact, blood, and saliva, other transmission routes can’t be entirely ruled out.
For instance, syphilis-contaminated clothing can still pose a risk.
It’s impossible to only play defense forever—you have to take action.
Adam had been living in this environment for a long time, and he needed to ensure safety.
Reporting it to the hospital was the best way to handle the situation: if people were infected, they could get treated; if they weren’t, they could take preventive measures. Containing the spread was the best solution.
“No, wait!”
George panicked. “If you report it, I’ll be exposed!”
“You really think you can keep it a secret?”
Adam looked at him with pity. “You’ll need to go to the lab for the tests, right? Hospital gossip spreads faster than viruses.”
“I could do it anonymously.”
George protested.
“The lab staff are all seasoned pros.”
Adam shook his head. “Your guilty expression alone will give you away. Besides, we’re doctors. If we get sick, we get treated. It’s not a big deal. It’s not like you’re the only one.”
“That’s easy for you to say.”
George was still reluctant.
If he had the guts to face this head-on, he wouldn’t have dragged Adam into a hospital room for a secret checkup in the first place.
“Well, of course, it’s easy for me—I actually practice self-discipline.”
Adam couldn’t help but chuckle.
“…”
George was at a loss for words.
He had always assumed Adam was a playboy, but now he was the one infected while Adam was totally clean and confident.
That just didn’t make sense!
“Alright, I won’t report it yet. You have until this afternoon to get tested.”
Adam decided after some thought.
“Really? Thanks.”
George was overjoyed. He thanked Adam and rushed off to get tested.
Watching George’s retreating figure, Adam shook his head.
It wasn’t that he was truly looking out for George.
He just knew that, even without his intervention, the moment George got tested, the news would spread like wildfire throughout the hospital. The senior staff would definitely take action.
If, by some chance, they didn’t, Adam could report it later.
After all, reporting this kind of thing wouldn’t exactly enhance his reputation either.
Sure enough, Adam was right.
That afternoon.
As Adam was washing his hands for the third time, Cristina and the others crowded around, gossiping.
“Have you heard? George has syphilis! Who would’ve thought our sweet, innocent boy would turn into a playboy and a syphilis poster child? Hahaha!”
“He got lucky.”
Adam couldn’t help but laugh as well.
Early-stage syphilis was easy to treat—especially since they were in a hospital with plenty of penicillin to wipe it out completely.
If it had been a more severe type of gonorrhea, Cristina and the others—his friends—wouldn’t be laughing.
Chapter 352: The Big Moment Arrives
Medical Center
While Adam and the gang were chatting and laughing, George snuck over again, trying to keep a low profile.
“Here comes our playboy,” Liz teased. She and George were tight—bestie-level tight. The kind where she could brush her teeth and chat while he showered, no big deal. And the closer you are, the harder you laugh when your buddy screws up.
George’s face darkened, especially when he spotted Meredith giggling at him from the side.
“Adam, I need your help with something,” he said, sounding desperate.
“Is this about the shot?” Adam asked, shaking his head. “You should ask Meredith or Liz for that. They’re your roommates and BFFs, after all.”
“I’ll help you, George,” Meredith chimed in with a cheeky grin.
“Me too!” Liz added, egging him on.
“Then what are we waiting for?” Cristina laughed. “Let’s get it done!”
Before George could protest, Liz grabbed him and dragged him toward a nearby patient room.
“Why are you all following me?” George grumbled as Liz half-pushed, half-pulled him inside. When he saw Adam and the others pile in after them, he lost it. “Out! Get out!”
“Quit whining and drop your pants already!” Cristina said, grinning.
Liz didn’t waste time—she shoved George onto the exam table face-first and yanked his pants down in one swift move.
“Cute little tushy,” she cooed.
“Hmm, not bad,” Meredith added.
“Seriously, it’s like a baby’s,” Cristina chimed in.
The three of them officially turned into a pack of shameless hooligans.
“Don’t look at me!” George pleaded, shooting Adam a pitiful glance.
Adam stood there, arms crossed, trying not to laugh. “If you don’t want it to get infected or end up losing your mind later, just let them do it.”
“I’ve always fantasized about being in a room with you three, doing all sorts of unspeakable things,” George muttered, giving up the fight as Liz jabbed a needle into each cheek. Wincing in pain and embarrassment, he added, “But reality’s clearly way more exciting than my fantasies.”
“Hold off on the excitement for a sec,” Adam said, cutting in with a grin. “Did you talk to Olivia yet?”
“Yeah, I did,” George replied, yanking his pants back up and glaring at the trio still cracking up. “She didn’t say a word—just looked at me and bolted. Like I’m the one who gave it to her. Do you guys think I’m misjudging her here?”
“Don’t overthink it,” Adam said, shaking his head. “Nobody wants to admit they’re the one who passed it on. Her reaction’s pretty normal. Let’s just hope word spreads and the hospital does something about it. Who knows how many people could end up with this?”
“Well, Cristina and I are definitely in the clear,” Liz said confidently. “One perk of not messing around with guys.”
Cristina’s smile froze for a split second.
“I’m fine too,” Meredith huffed. “I’ve only been with Shepherd…”
“But can you be sure Shepherd’s only been with you?” Liz shot back, her tongue sharp as ever. “He’s Mr. Dreamy, after all.”
“So you’re saying the more charming someone is, the more likely they are to catch it?” Meredith asked, sneaking a glance at Adam.
“Unless they keep it in their pants,” Liz clarified.
“Shepherd’s pretty good about that…” Meredith started, but Liz wasn’t letting it go, and the two launched into a full-on bickering match.
Beep-beep.
Beep-beep.
Beep-beep.
George’s pager went off. Then everyone else’s followed suit, buzzing like crazy.
“Here we go,” Adam said, glancing at his pager. The message said to head to the admin meeting room. He smirked knowingly.
“George, you’re really in for it now,” Liz teased, checking her own pager and joining the others in ribbing him again.
The group headed to the meeting room, laughing and chatting. Along the way, more people joined them—clearly, everyone had gotten the memo.
Conference Room
A big crowd of surgeons, nurses, and staff filled the room. Richard, the Chief of Surgery, stood there with his arms crossed, his face grim as he scanned the group. “Three surgical interns, four residents, and six nurses have tested positive for syphilis,” he said, each word landing like a hammer. “And that’s just what we know so far.”
“Every year, over 70,000 new cases pop up. If it’s not treated early, syphilis can lead to blindness, insanity, even death.”
Patricia, Richard’s no-nonsense admin assistant—an older lady—sat nearby and picked up where he left off. “So treat it ASAP.”
“If you’ve had unprotected, uh, fun with anyone in surgery—or honestly, anyone in this hospital—get yourself checked immediately!” Richard barked, his expression icy. “This isn’t a suggestion.”
Olivia and George locked eyes for a second before both turned away, fuming.
Some people shifted nervously. Others, confident they were safe, smirked to themselves. Partly because the whole thing was kind of hilarious, and partly because of what was on Patricia’s desk: a banana and a square little packet. Everyone knew what was coming next.
And sure enough, it didn’t disappoint.
Richard rolled his eyes, looking defeated. “Patricia’s going to demonstrate safe, uh, practices for you all.” With that, he stormed out.
You’d think doctors and nurses wouldn’t bat an eye at this stuff—it’s routine, right? But that’s exactly why Richard was mortified. His team knew better, and yet here they were, screwing up so bad it led to a full-blown outbreak. Talk about a hit to his reputation.
Now he could only hope the numbers didn’t climb too high—and that maybe the internal medicine folks would mess up even worse. Misery loves company, after all.
“When the time comes,” Patricia said, picking up the banana and the packet, “gentlemen, you know when that is. Carefully tear open the wrapper…”
The lesson wrapped up, and everyone scattered—some to line up for tests, others to get back to work.
“Adam, you finally came to see me!” Barney exclaimed from his wheelchair as Adam pushed him along. “Guess how many I’ve hooked up with already? You’ll never guess. Not one, not two, not even three—six! Yeah!” He flashed a proud six with his fingers, grinning smugly. “In just two weeks, I’m almost done. You’re toast, man.”
“Impressive!” Adam said, giving him a thumbs-up.
“You’re jealous, huh?” Barney beamed, then glanced around. “Wait, where are we going?”
“To get you checked out,” Adam said with a smile.
“Checked for what?” Barney asked, then his eyes lit up. He leaned back, nodding toward the long line of people. “Look over there—one of my six is in that line. Cute, right? And that one too! Oh, and her! Wait… why are they all lining up?”
Before Adam could answer, Barney’s face lit up even more. “Is this some kind of hospital group party? Nice! Adam, high-five me!”
“Sorry, can’t do it,” Adam said, shaking his head.
“Why not?” Barney pouted.
Adam handed him a colorful syphilis info pamphlet. “Take a look at this first.”
“Noooo!!!”
Moments later, Barney’s scream of despair echoed through the halls, loud enough to shatter the cosmos and break the fourth wall.
Chapter 353: I Can’t Shake the Feeling You’re Bullying Him
Medical Center.
Nighttime.
Ted, Matthew, and Lily had already rushed over after hearing the news.
“Eww!”
“That’s so gross!”
“Get it away from me!”
They flipped through the stack of gonorrhea symptom pamphlets Adam had deliberately left in Barney’s hospital room, and every single one of them felt their stomach turn.
“Barney, you okay?” Ted asked, his voice full of concern as he looked at Barney lying motionless on the bed, his eyes blank and unfocused.
Ever since Barney broke his leg and ended up in the hospital, then made that bet with Adam, he’d been pouring all his energy into this place. The old Barney Stinson—the one who’d show up at Ted’s place every night yelling “Legendary!” and begging him to “suit up,” only to get brushed off—had been gone for a while now. Ted had to admit, he missed him.
You don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone, right?
Back then, Barney was always chasing Ted’s approval, shamelessly trying to edge out Matthew as Ted’s best friend. He was way too pushy about it, and Ted would half-heartedly go along, throwing in the occasional eye-roll or complaint. It was basically the classic “goddess and backup guy” dynamic flipped on its head.
Now, with “backup guy” Barney hitting a rough patch in his “love life” and sulking, “goddess” Ted figured it was time to step up a little. Time to throw Barney a bone, let him feel some warmth from the “goddess,” and keep him happily in his backup role—no climbing any higher branches.
“I’m fine,” Barney mumbled, his voice shaky.
“I’ll go get Adam,” Lily said, noticing Barney’s off vibe. She turned and left the room to track him down.
“This is all Adam’s fault!” Ted grumbled. “If he hadn’t roped Barney into that stupid bet, Barney wouldn’t have caught this… whatever it is, and he wouldn’t be so wrecked right now.”
“Let’s not go that far,” Matthew countered, sticking up for Adam. “I don’t think Adam knew this would happen. He just wanted to teach Barney a lesson with the bet. I mean, last time Barney joined that Death Baby Car Race, two innocent bystanders—breadwinners for their families—ended up dead.”
“Couldn’t he have picked a different way to punish him?” Ted shot back. Desperate to save his backup guy, he refused to pin any blame on Barney, instead aiming all his frustration at Adam—the “rival” stealing his sidekick. “He’s always making bets like this. It’s too much.”
“If not this, then what?” Adam’s voice cut in from the doorway.
Ted glanced over, a little guilty.
Adam strolled in, decked out in a white lab coat, smirking faintly at Ted. “What else would actually stick with Barney and make him think twice? Go ahead, name something. Enlighten me.”
“…”
Ted froze, at a loss for words.
Barney was a reckless mess—nothing seemed to faze him except this.
“Adam, this thing Barney’s got—is he really okay?” Matthew asked, steering the conversation elsewhere.
“Well, it’s fine… but also not fine,” Adam said, his tone turning serious as he dropped the smirk.
“What?!” Lily gasped. “What do you mean, ‘not fine’?”
“Barney got lucky this time,” Adam said flatly. “It’s just a single strain of syphilis, and since he’s here at the hospital, we can treat it. But what if it’d been something worse? Full-blown gonorrhea, a mixed infection, or even HIV? You saw the pamphlets, right? You can picture how bad that gets.”
Lily, Ted, and Matthew all shuddered as those pamphlet images flashed through their minds.
“No way it’s that dramatic,” Ted said, unable to resist pushing back. “What are the odds?”
“Dramatic? Bad luck?” Adam scoffed. “Barney’s been hooking up every night for years, working his way through half of New York. You call that dramatic? Even if his luck held out at first, with that kind of volume, catching something was inevitable. You should be saying it’s dramatic how lucky he’s been to only get syphilis this late in the game. What, you really think Barney’s the son of the luck goddess or something? Come on.”
Without some main-character plot armor, Barney’s lifestyle would’ve landed him gonorrhea—or AIDS—ages ago, no question.
Back in the day, Barney saw himself as some unbeatable supervillain, living it up without a care, totally untouchable. But then he ran into Adam, who—playing off the trope of medical staff getting screwed over in TV dramas—shattered Barney’s villain halo. And bam, he got hit.
Ted didn’t have a comeback for that.
New York’s a city of excess, and Barney’s one-night-stand habits lined up perfectly with the kind of crowd that’s prone to picking up nasty stuff. They’d never really thought about it before, but now that Adam pointed it out? Yeah, it was terrifying to consider. Barney really had been dodging bullets like some blessed child of fortune.
“Ted, you should be on my side here,” Adam said, clapping a hand on Ted’s shoulder with a knowing grin. “With Barney’s track record, whether you two were on the same page before or not, you’re definitely in the same boat now. If Barney’s got it, you could too. You want that?”
“No!” Ted yelped, practically jumping out of his skin in panic. “I mean, no way am I in the same boat as Barney. We’ve got the Bro Code!”
Noticing Adam’s smirk after his outburst, Ted felt deeply offended and scrambled to explain.
“Wow, you still buy into Barney’s Bro Code?” Adam said, shaking his head in mock amazement. “Okay, fine, let’s say Barney sticks to it. But doesn’t the Bro Code only cover current girlfriends and stuff? You two could still end up in the same mess. So, I’m thinking you should side with me. What do you say?”
“Ted, I think Adam’s right,” Lily chimed in first. “Barney can’t keep playing around like this, or he’s bound to catch something disgusting. This syphilis thing is a wake-up call.”
“Yeah,” Matthew agreed, nodding. “If you guys could just find your own Lily like I did and settle into a happy life, wouldn’t that be better?”
Ted wavered. Lily and Matthew’s engagement had already sparked some envy in him last time, pushing him to find his own “Lily.” He wasn’t exactly a fan of Barney’s wild lifestyle either.
“So, what do we do?” Lily asked with a smile. After hanging out with Ted for so long and sharing so many firsts, she could read his thoughts with one look.
“Keep an eye on him,” Adam said, grinning. “For the first three weeks, he’ll need a solid dose of penicillin once a week. In theory, he’ll be fine after that, but he’ll need follow-ups at three months, six months, and then every six months for three years. For at least the first six months, he shouldn’t be doing anything… unmentionable. You don’t want him spreading it to someone else, right? So, you guys need to watch him closely.”
Lily, Ted, and Matthew exchanged sympathetic glances at Barney but nodded in agreement. It was basic human decency—they couldn’t say no.
“Barney, with all this going on, let’s call off our bet,” Adam said, turning to the still-dazed Barney. He plopped a crown on Barney’s head. “You finished most of it in two weeks anyway, so you win. Here’s the crown I owe you—I’m putting it on you. You’re the best!”
He flashed two big thumbs-up.
“…”
Everyone stared, speechless. They couldn’t shake the feeling that Adam was messing with Barney—again. And not for the first time…
(End of Chapter)
