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🕑 Added 2025-05-30 16:42:52 +0000 UTCChapter 70: Laughing Gas
"Joker."
Cody looked at the slender figure in front of him and instinctively blurted out the name.
He was one of the top villains in DC, but no one had ever been able to figure out his name, no one knew his past, and no one could understand the meaning behind his actions.
He had no superpowers, couldn't be matched by fingerprints, DNA records, or dental records. Joker character in the DC world was always a "mystery."
In Cody's mind, maybe Joker was just an identity, not a specific person. He represented some abstract concept rather than a single biological entity.
He was chaos, madness, evil, depravity, crime without reason, the part of human nature that always leans towards evil.
So he never had fixed goals, no sense of good or evil. He did whatever bad things he wanted, like a dangerous lunatic.
And in reality, he was a dangerous lunatic, just smart enough to contend with Batman, evil enough to corrupt Superman, and dangerous enough that nowhere outside of Gotham could contain him.
And now, a character like that was his opponent.
Cody's mind raced. If his opponent was Joker, the first rule was don't kill him, because according to his limited knowledge of the comics and games, whoever killed Joker would become the next Joker—or something worse.
The probability of that might be small in this universe, but Cody wasn't going to gamble.
So, how do you deal with Joker?
"Oh ho, Santa Claus actually knows my name, ha ha ha hee hee hee hee..."
Joker immediately started laughing, bending over as if he'd heard the funniest joke in the world. "So I guess I'm a good boy, hee hee hee hee... Well, where's my present?"
"In that red bag—is it candy? Or pastries? Or maybe a big black bat?"
"It's a Christmas present," Cody replied. "I found it's pretty convenient to dress up as Santa to sneak into houses and steal gifts. If I get caught, I can just pretend I'm Santa giving out presents."
"..."
Joker smacked his lips, the smile on his face suddenly turning a bit disgusted. "Damn it, that lousy joke is almost funny—and I hate it when other people are funnier than me."
Click
The sound of a hammer striking echoed, and the trigger of a revolver so big it could be called a hand cannon was pulled.
The atmosphere fell into an eerie silence.
Cody stared at the black barrel, every hair on his body standing on end. After meeting Joker, he'd only managed to say two sentences, and the guy had already taken a shot when he wasn't paying attention.
"Bodyguard Cross (8/9)"
He looked at his status bar, absolutely certain. That misfire wasn't a fluke; it had been a potentially fatal shot—this was the first time since he'd come to Gotham that he'd faced such straightforward, decisive killing intent.
No hesitation, no morality. The first sentence confirmed he knew Joker's identity, the second confirmed he had another purpose. The very next second, the guy just opened fire, eliminating any potential external factors that might mess up his plans.
This was the typical outcome for someone facing Joker—their life casually taken by a seemingly careless bullet. No grand spectacle, no earth-shattering event. They just died simply and suddenly. For Joker, it was just a matter of pulling a trigger.
And he didn't mind pulling a trigger just because.
Several more seconds passed.
"Seriously?" Joker was the first to break the awkward silence, peering into the dark muzzle with one eye, his finger still pulling the trigger. "You misfire now? I spent so much thought and money on you, you little punk, and this is how you repay me?"
Bang!
A scorching blast of air grazed Joker's scalp, punching a hole through the ceiling above. Wood splinters and paint flakes rained down, nearly covering him.
"Ha! Thank goodness." Joker didn't seem to care that he'd almost blown his own head off. He grinned widely and kissed his gun, then immediately pointed it back at Cody. "Ahem, sorry about that, that was an accident—Let's try again."
Santa Claus spit fiercely. "Who the hell is 'trying again' with you?!—Bad kids get punished—Solomon!"
"Solomon Grundy, born on a Monday!"
A massive, gray-green figure leaped through the window, crashing into the room. Its enormous size instantly doubled the size of the window frame. Like a dump truck, it slammed into Joker, who was pointing his gun at Cody.
The moment Cody shouted the first word, he immediately dove to the side. He clearly saw Joker completely ignore the giant figure and Grundy's enraged roar behind him, and instead pulled the trigger on him twice more. At this point, the cross's count was refreshed again.
"Bodyguard Cross (6/9)"
Without a doubt, Joker's aim was pretty good.
Boom!
Solomon directly rammed Joker, pinning him against a wall. Dust filled the air, debris flew. The wall was completely smashed through. Beneath the dense pile of bricks and rubble, only half of Joker's pale hand, still holding the gun, could be faintly seen sticking out.
"Solomon Grundy, born on a Monday!"
Grundy roared again at the ruins below, venting his anger. Seeing his best friend attacked instinctively filled him with intense rage.
Cody stared dumbfounded at the collapsed brick wall and Joker buried beneath it, a storm brewing in his heart.
"It's just... over?"
Joker, a top DC villain, Batman's arch-nemesis, the always-prepared mastermind, the embodiment of chaos, evil, and madness—was he just taken out like that?
No, that was definitely impossible. Joker might take a bow, but never such a sloppy one.
But looking at how still he was, Cody honestly started worrying he might actually be crushed to death. If that happened, Grundy might be the one in trouble.
"Cough, cough, cough! Cough, cough!"
A hand pushed aside the broken bricks and rubble. Joker, wearing a purple suit and covered in dust, crawled out from under the wall. Seeing this, Cody breathed a sigh of relief.
"That wasn't fun at all." Joker brushed the dirt off himself, coughed up a few mouthfuls of blood with a grimace, and laughed coldly. "Joker and Santa Claus playing together on Christmas, it was supposed to be such a fun game—but you just had to call in a big idiot to ruin it."
"So boring, so boring, hee hee, so boring—Good thing I can always make things... more interesting."
"Hee hee, hee hee hee hee hee..."
"Heh heh, heh heh hee hee hee..."
Listening to the two chilling laughs, Cody's expression instantly grew heavier and heavier.
The faint moonlight shone through the broken window, illuminating the huge, still figure. Under the moonlight, it raised its head, and a bizarre smile also spread across its zombie-like, gray-green face.
"Heh heh, heh heh hee hee hee..."
ps: Joker's disgusted face .jpg is pictured below.
Chapter 71: Laughing Gas
"You know, my gun has never jammed that many times before."
Joker calmly ejected the bullets from his revolver, inspecting them one by one, and then loading new ones—that revolver was custom-made, even the ammo was specialized, it was ridiculously huge.
"Ho ho ha hee hee hee..."
"Solomon! Snap out of it!"
Cody dove out from behind a wall. At the same time, Solomon Grundy, eyes red and laughing maniacally, smashed through the entire wall like a big truck—Cody was pretty grateful that Grundy didn't have much sense right now, his attacks were blind and berserk, otherwise, he probably wouldn't have been able to dodge that charge.
"But today it did jam, three times in a row! I'm thinking—maybe you really are Santa Claus? But where are your reindeer? Don't tell me it's this big guy?"
While Cody was anxiously dodging Solomon's deadly attacks, Joker didn't move in for the kill. He just stood aside, laughing. "That's honestly the darkest joke I've heard all year. It almost shatters my childhood—"
"Santa's reindeer is a big, ugly zombie that can easily run over a dozen little kids? Ha! I should add that to my joke collection."
"Solomon!" Cody quickly pulled the pumpkin mask out of his bag and put it on. "Can you recognize me?! Born on a Monday! Christened on a Tuesday!"
However, Solomon Grundy had indeed lost most of his senses at this moment. Joker's crazy laughing gas had invaded his already not-great brain, practically scrambling his brains into a mess.
"Ho ho ha hee hee hee..."
His already terrifying face was now practically squeezed into a ball. The laughing gas made his facial muscles contract wildly into a laughing expression, making him look especially eerie and terrifying under the moonlight. But Solomon was a zombie, the deadly laughing gas couldn't kill him, leaving him stuck with that horrifying smiling face while he charged around.
Joker's attention was now on the pumpkin on Cody's head. He noticed the sanity-draining pumpkin mask was a bit unusual, a good tool for spreading fear. "Ooh ho, that pumpkin head is interesting, it's scary and ugly just like this big guy—Is that my Christmas present?"
"For you—?! Grundy, get out of here first!"
Cody grabbed a sealed carton of milk from the big bag and threw it directly at Grundy. At the same time, he drew the Colt from his waist. This carton of milk wasn't from the Horn of Plenty; food from the Horn of Plenty couldn't remove abnormal status effects.
"A Carton of Milk Price: Two thousand US dollars asset points Note: Milk transported from across dimensions, naturally it costs a bit more—HIM"
Bang
The milk carton was shot mid-air, soaking Grundy. After drinking a large amount of milk, the creepy smile on his face finally vanished. His brain regained control of his body, his smart intellect once again took the high ground, and then, he let out an angry roar at Joker, who had just messed with him.
"Solomon Grundy! Born on a Monday!"
"Grundy, not now, get out!"
The big guy's actions were stopped by Cody shouting. Although he looked quite unwilling, he still restrained the urge to grind Joker against the wall and stomped out through the broken window hole resentfully.
"Huh? That's not fair!" Joker grumbled in dissatisfaction. "Why did the Christmas present I worked so hard on get brushed off by Santa Claus's carton of milk? That's cheating—he even shoots guns! What kind of Santa is that?"
"Laughing gas that can even infect a zombie is cheating," Santa gave him the finger. "Not only do I shoot guns, I can also call for backup. You wait one minute, and my friend Krampus will be right here to kick your butt!"
"Haha, a Nordic Santa, hee hee hee hee—Well, he'd better hurry—"
Saying that, Joker put away his gun and casually pulled out a small knife and a crowbar.
"Because I'm kinda losing interest in playing anymore."
Cody didn't take the bait. This time he shouted again, "Clinton!"
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
In less than two seconds, six gunshots rang out like popping beans. Six bullets sprayed towards Joker like water, and under the moonlight, a bald head reflected a faint glow.
"You called me here just to deal with some freak? And you even dragged in another freak."
"His name is Solomon Grundy, he has a name, Clinton."
"Whatever. Damn it, a month ago you were getting held at gunpoint by some punks outside your door, and now you're getting held at gunpoint by some clown freak—I'm gonna see you dead in the streets one day."
"When is your temper ever going to..."
"Hey, hey, hey, gentlemen!"
Joker's sharp voice yanked their attention back. "Why are you just ignoring me? Do you really think that little mouse hiding over there can hit me?"
Facing those incredibly fast six shots, Joker was completely unharmed. Cody glanced at the six bullet holes in the wall and gritted his teeth. The guy's movement was too fast even for Clinton to lock onto. Guns probably weren't going to work much against him right now.
"Clinton, go, there's no chance left."
"What bull are you talking about? I got paid to do a job."
"You gotta get back alive to get paid—"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah blah blah blah..."
Joker impatiently cut off their conversation. "So boring. How can Santa Claus make Christmas more boring? How about I liven things up a bit... Ha! How about a fireworks show!"
He meticulously straightened his suit, snapped his fingers, and suddenly, the dark Christmas tree began to flash with multi-colored lights, brightening the whole room a bit.
"Allow me to introduce this perfect, painstaking work of art! It's called... uh—right! The Fireworks Christmas Tree!"
Fireworks Christmas tree, my foot. Cody looked at the sparkling lights on the tree and instantly recognized them as apple-shaped bombs—Harvey's house had just been bombed once, it was just fixed, and now it was going to get hit a second time. Joker really was something else.
"Now, gentlemen." He gave them a slight bow, showing them the red button in his hand. "Let's see if Santa Claus really likes Christmas trees, ha ha ha ha ha—"
Click The detonation switch was pressed. Joker watched the bomb-laden Christmas tree with anticipation, while Cody directly charged towards it.
"You're not seeing a fireworks show tonight!"
Chapter 72: The Santa Claus Who's Afraid of Pain
"Special Alert: Explosion imminent. Durability consumption - Cross Necklace (0/9)"
"Special Alert: Item ineffective. Remaining uses cannot negate damage judgment."
"Special Alert: Activating Shatter Special Judgment - 5% chance to negate this damage judgment."
"Special Alert: Judging... Judgment passed. Negating this damage judgment."
"Item has been destroyed."
Cody didn't have much time to celebrate his luck; he was already in the thick of it with Joker.
What about Joker's close-quarters combat ability?
That's a widely debated question. Since there are so many Joker stories, there are just as many versions of him. The general consensus everyone agrees on is: it's not his greatest strength, but it's definitely not one of his fatal weaknesses either.
In fact, in some versions, Joker's fighting technique can even be slightly better than Batman's.
Cody was sure that anyone between six feet and six foot three would definitely have a certain advantage in a fight, and if it was hand-to-hand against someone with weapons, he'd absolutely have the upper hand.
Cody used the system analysis to determine that Joker in front of him was a Master-level close-combatant, which surprised him greatly. He hadn't expected the other guy's close-quarters ability to be this terrifying.
Thankfully, Joker was currently facing a timed mission, and Cody just happened to be a sufficiently tanky shield.
"Why! Why no fireworks!"
The cackling Joker swung the dagger and crowbar in his hands, making sharp noises. "Hahaha, I get it! You're the Grinch! You hate Christmas! You ruined all the surprises tonight! Come on, let me see if you bleed!"
"Slash— clang!"
The sharp dagger cut and stabbed at the red cotton coat, ripping open bloody gashes. Cody had specifically bought this cotton coat as a system item. It was bulletproof, but the anti-cut performance was a bit lacking. Mostly, he hadn't expected Joker's super-sized revolver to have the ability to penetrate the cotton coat and kill with one shot, which meant the coat didn't perform as expected as bulletproof gear in a gunfight.
And that crowbar was the real heavyweight, specifically aimed at Cody's joints. Even through the thick cotton coat, the struck areas pulsed with intense pain. His legs and wrists were severely restricted in their power, making it impossible to mount an effective counterattack or a quick dodge.
Intense pain came from all over his body. Having never been in a fight like this before, Cody experienced the agony of melee combat with cold weapons for the first time. He retreated step by step, while Joker cackled and pressed forward, carving bloody blossoms onto his body with the crowbar and dagger in his hands.
"Hahaha! The Grinch is a bad boy, but thankfully this bad boy is easy to teach a lesson! Quick! Let me see what other fun Christmas presents you have, hehehe!"
Cody didn't answer, only desperately kept the fruit candy in his mouth, using what little rationality he had left.
The candy made from fruit from the Horn of Plenty was constantly dissolving into juice in his mouth, continuously providing Cody with health recovery. Thankfully, Joker's dagger wasn't coated with laughing gas toxin today, otherwise he might not have had time to free up a hand to drink milk.
"Hahaha! Your neck's exposed!"
When Cody was hit in the knee by a crowbar, almost knocking him off balance, Joker let out a giggle and slashed with the dagger. With a tearing sound, blood immediately spurted from his carotid artery.
"Hehehehe— huh?"
When Joker cut Cody's throat, he watched as the flesh at the wound quickly healed after a few seconds, only to realize that all the wounds on his body seemed to have stopped bleeding.
"Huff, huff, huff..."
Cody panted, barely able to stand in front of Joker. He had been beaten to the point of near delirium by wave after wave of pain that felt like slow torture. The fruit candy was healing his physical injuries, but the immense psychological pressure and pain were hitting him hard in the brain.
"Haha! So tough, really tough, Santa Claus— or should I say Grinch? You've definitely never been in a fight before, right?"
Should I use that?
"It's so touching. A hero protecting Christmas facing a madman with knives and clubs alone."
No, Batman must be getting close, and that thing costs a full twenty thousand points, and it's only one-time use... I can't just use it casually just because I'm afraid of pain.
But it really hurts so much.
Cody gritted his teeth with a twisted expression, looking at the cackling Joker, but tears streamed involuntarily from his eyes. This was the first time he had shown such an expression since arriving in Gotham.
Fighting for justice really hurt. Even just the physical pain was enough to make this rookie, who had never been in hand-to-hand combat, want to retreat.
But wasn't Batman experiencing this kind of pain every night? Catwoman, Gordon, Harvey Dent... weren't these people used to the double pain of mind and body?
Or, should I give up?
Should I save my asset points and my life, and throw Harvey Dent into his destined fate?
Or reload? And come up with another plan? But would I be this lucky again? On which reload would the cross necklace's judgment activate?
"Hehehe, you've got guts— I know a lot of tough cookies who aren't afraid of pain, and you're one of them."
I am afraid, I'm really afraid.
"But you'll never guess that I'm actually an old dog— I'm used to chasing after tough cookies and biting them, hehehe—"
"I know exactly how to chew through tough cookies! Hahahaha!"
Joker cackled and turned into a purple blur, easily darting past Cody, and swung his weapons again. But this time, his target wasn't Cody.
It was Clinton, who was still holding his gun and refused to abandon Cody.
Clinton's pupils contracted, and he quickly drew his gun and fired. However, Joker's figure was elusive. Bullet after bullet hit the walls and floor, but he couldn't hit Joker. He watched as the madman darted in front of him and raised the dagger and crowbar in his hands.
"Haha! You're out of chances!"
One swing, two stabs.
Three lightning-fast hits instantly disabled both of Clinton's hands and one leg. He didn't even have time to cry out in pain before the sharp, bloody dagger was plunging towards his eye socket.
"Merry Christmas! Hehehehehe—"
Clang!
With a crisp sound of metal clashing, Joker looked up in astonishment, seeing a cold, glittering sword firmly parrying his dagger.
The person holding the sword was wearing a bulky red Santa cotton coat and a ridiculous Santa hat on his head. Drips of fresh blood continuously fell from the hem of the coat. At this moment, the cotton batting showing from inside the coat was already stained crimson. Perhaps the coat had been soaked through long ago.
His neck didn't seem to have fully recovered, his voice was broken and hoarse, and there were still tear tracks on his face from crying just moments ago. Only the sword in his hand was steady as a mountain.
"I won't let my friend die trying to help me— bad boy, where do you think you're going?"
