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Chapter 273: Bachelor Night—Stop the Car!
🕑 Added 2025-05-13 17:30:26 +0000 UTC*Central Perk Café.*
"That's right," Joey said matter-of-factly. "I can't just go out and buy one, can I? Your laundry basket was right there, so I borrowed it."
Over the years, Rachel and Ross had gone through multiple breakups and reconciliations. Meanwhile, with Chandler and Monica dating and moving in together, Rachel had to find a new place to live.
Since Chandler’s old room was now empty, and thanks to Joey’s enthusiastic invitation, Rachel moved in across the hall, becoming his roommate.
Given Rachel’s progressively bold fashion choices in later seasons, it wasn’t surprising that she left her laundry basket in the living room instead of keeping it in her bedroom.
"This is exactly what I've been talking about—boundaries!"
Adam commented sarcastically. "I offered you my apartment back then, but you didn’t want it. Regretting it now, aren't you?"
"It was too expensive for me to rent alone!"
Rachel looked both frustrated and regretful. "And Joey really wanted me to move in."
Even though she had become more open-minded over time, she still couldn't quite accept this. After all, Joey wasn’t her boyfriend. No matter how close they were, there had to be limits. What he did was making her feel slightly grossed out.
"What’s wrong?"
Joey, still relishing his newfound "manly" experience, hadn't yet realized he had crossed a line.
"You went too far," Adam pointed out. "Rachel isn’t your girlfriend. You can’t just take her underwear without asking—let alone wear it yourself."
If this weren’t for comedic effect, it would definitely be considered creepy behavior anywhere else.
"Oh," Joey finally noticed Rachel’s disgusted expression and awkwardly chuckled. "Rachel, I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just trying to prove to Phoebe that I’m a real man."
"Fine," Rachel gave him a disgusted glance before warning, "This is the first and last time. Don’t ever do it again."
"Got it," Joey nodded earnestly.
"What does this have to do with being a 'real man'?" Adam asked, intrigued.
"Well..." Joey began explaining.
Apparently, Joey had caught Phoebe’s new boyfriend wearing women's underwear. At first, he thought it was weird, but when he asked Phoebe about it, she told him she had asked her boyfriend to do it—because, according to her, only real men had the courage to wear women's underwear.
This made Joey curious enough to give it a try himself.
"And you actually believed that?" Adam teased. "Dude, if that’s your logic, you should head to a gay bar. It’s full of 'real men' like that!"
"…"
Joey was stunned. That possibility hadn’t even crossed his mind.
Being the simple-minded guy he was, the only defense he had for his masculinity was, "Of course I’m a real man! You guys have seen my collection of Playboy magazines, right?"
---
Time flew by in their busy schedules, and soon, four weeks had passed.
The night before the wedding.
*Bachelor Night.*
"Groom-to-be, are you ready to enjoy your last night of freedom?" Adam grinned.
"Absolutely!" Chandler rubbed his hands together, visibly excited.
Bachelor parties were always planned behind the groom's back to keep the surprise element intact. Even now, Chandler had no idea what Adam had arranged for him.
"Then let’s go," Adam said with a snap of his fingers, throwing an arm around Chandler and leading him out.
"Where are we going?" Chandler asked eagerly. Then, with a smirk, he added, "Just so you know, we’re not going to any unwholesome places. I don’t want Monica’s big brother hunting me down to beat me to a pulp."
"Hahaha!"
Adam and Joey burst into laughter.
Ross, however, crossed his arms and glared at them. "What’s so funny?"
"We’re laughing at Monica’s big brother," Adam teased. "What does that have to do with you, best man?"
That’s right.
Ross was also one of the groomsmen—but not the best man, just like Phoebe was a bridesmaid but not the maid of honor.
At the wedding, he’d be standing behind Adam.
Earlier that morning, when no one was around, Ross had pulled Chandler aside for a very serious conversation—as Monica’s big brother.
"You’re getting married tomorrow, and I’m really happy for you both," Ross had said, wearing his most intimidating expression. "But as Monica’s older brother, I have to warn you—if you ever hurt my sister or make her unhappy, I will hunt you down, no matter where you go, and beat you up!"
His attempt at a threatening demeanor didn’t scare Chandler at all. In fact, it made him burst out laughing.
And he wasn’t the only one—everyone who overheard Ross’s speech cracked up, including Monica herself.
Ross's face darkened, but no one bothered to explain why they were laughing.
Deep down, though, Ross had a vague idea. He just didn’t want to admit it.
To everyone else, Ross was just a nerdy scientist—not quite on the level of Sheldon or Leonard, but still leaning in that direction.
He could talk endlessly about science, but when it came to physical confrontations, he was completely hopeless.
As a kid, he once got mugged by a girl—Phoebe, no less.
A few years ago, two bullies scared him so much that he was too afraid to go back to Central Perk.
And now, the same guy was trying to act all tough, vowing to be his sister’s protector? Seriously?
Was he here for comedic relief?
To be fair, the only person Ross ever dared to fight was his sister, Monica. He had no problem wrestling her—but then again, most of the time, she was the one kicking his ass.
"Relax," Adam chuckled. "We’re keeping it completely wholesome. No need for Monica’s 'big brother' to get his fists ready."
The group stepped outside, where a luxurious stretch limousine was already waiting for them.
"Not fair!"
The moment Ross saw the limo, he started complaining. "Adam, you were my groomsman too, but why didn’t I get something like this when I got married?"
"Which wedding are you talking about?" Adam asked playfully.
"Hahaha!"
Chandler and Joey burst into laughter again.
"I missed the first one," Adam smirked while signaling the driver to start moving. "The second one was in London—not exactly home turf. And the third? You and Rachel got married and divorced in Vegas overnight. Tell me, what was I supposed to do?"
"…"
Ross had no comeback for that.
"Don’t be jealous," Joey patted Ross on the shoulder and said earnestly, "You’ll get another chance. You’ve already divorced Rachel, so your fourth wedding could happen any day now! When that happens, Adam can make it up to you. We all believe in you!"
"Exactly," Adam grinned. "But only once. If you start getting married every year, not even a billionaire like me could afford to keep up!"
Ross crossed his arms and leaned back with an exaggerated eye roll, refusing to say another word.
Nowadays, the moment people heard he had been married and divorced three times at his age, they often ran the other way.
Dating a lot was fine, but in American culture, marriage still carried a certain sacredness.
Being called The Wedding Guy wasn’t exactly a compliment.
"Wait a minute—something's off. Stop the car!"
In the middle of joking around, Adam suddenly shouted.
But the car didn’t stop. Instead, it kept speeding down the road...
(End of Chapter)
