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*Chapter 270: Quoting Yourself*
🕑 Added 2025-05-12 17:00:03 +0000 UTCMacLaren’s Pub.
"Oh~"
Barney squinted. "Of course, I ran into him."
Without waiting for Lily to ask, he continued, "Since we're all friends, why not invite him over for a chat?"
"Well…"
Marshall hesitated. "He's really busy."
"That busy?"
Barney egged him on. "Too busy to meet up with friends?"
"I’ll give him a call," Lily said enthusiastically as she stood up. "Barney’s right. We haven’t seen him in a while—it’d be nice to catch up."
"Nice~"
Barney grinned smugly.
He had been wondering how to crash Chandler’s wedding.
At first, when he ran into Adam at the tailor shop, he was just looking for an opportunity to sneak into a bachelor party and wedding for some fun and to pick up women—something he could take or leave.
But after finding out the groom was the best friend and roommate of his archenemy, Joey, he was determined to get in.
The connection between Adam, Marshall, and the rest was an unexpected bonus.
Ten minutes later, Adam arrived at MacLaren’s Pub.
They were all friends. Even though they didn’t talk as often, there was no way he would refuse an invitation.
Marshall and Lily were also people Adam deeply appreciated.
"Adam, let me introduce you," Lily said warmly. "This is Barney Stinson, our friend. Barney, this is Adam Duncan."
"What a coincidence!" Barney grinned.
"Yeah," Adam said as he sat down, glancing around. Among the five from How I Met Your Mother, only Robin was missing now.
They chatted for a while, catching up on recent events.
Then Barney couldn’t help but ask, "Since we're all good friends now, and friends of friends are also friends, Adam, why didn’t you invite us to Chandler’s wedding?"
"Heh."
Adam chuckled. "That’s not how it works. By that logic, everyone in the world is friends, and Chandler would have to invite the entire planet to his wedding."
"Huh?"
Barney was momentarily confused.
"You’ve never heard of the Six Degrees of Separation theory?"
Adam explained, "In 1967, American social psychologist Stanley Milgram proposed this theory. Simply put, any two strangers can be connected through a chain of friends, and it takes at most five intermediaries to establish the link."
Lily proudly added, "Adam isn’t just about to become a doctor—he also has dual bachelor's degrees in biology and psychology. Barney, you always have all these so-called scientific theories, but now you’re facing real science. Stumped, aren’t you?"
"…."
Barney’s mouth twitched.
Although he technically graduated from MIT, his MIT was The Magician’s Institute of Teaneck—a joke university, the sister school of Homeschool University, and definitely not The Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
All the "scientific" theories he spouted were just him quoting himself—like when people misattribute their own words to famous figures to sound credible.
Many people do it, including real scholars...
But Barney was a master of the craft.
When it came to actual science, though, he was completely out of his depth.
"Barney, I know you like to have fun," Adam said with a smile. "I do too. But there’s a time and place. If having fun comes at the expense of a wedding, it’s not fun anymore—it’s just causing trouble.
"There’s an old saying in the East: ‘Better to destroy ten temples than ruin a single marriage.’
"So, Chandler’s wedding and bachelor party? Don’t even think about it. I won’t allow anyone to mess with this perfect match."
"What?!"
Lily gasped and immediately smacked Barney several times. "You were planning to ruin their wedding?!"
"I wasn’t!"
Barney raised his hands defensively, dodging Lily’s attacks. "I just wanted to be part of it, get to know the bridesmaids better. I never planned to ruin the wedding."
"Really?"
Adam smirked.
Barney had been one of his favorite TV characters in his past life—essentially the original version of Lü Xiaobu from Love Apartment. Barney’s ridiculous antics had been a source of endless entertainment for Adam back then.
In Love Apartment, Lü Xiaobu’s crazy antics were a toned-down, censored version of Barney’s. Lü Xiaobu’s mysterious and powerful godfather, "Grandfather Dumas," was probably meant to represent the full, uncensored side of Barney.
Grandfather Dumas + Lü Xiaobu = Barney Stinson.
But after crossing into this world and meeting the real Barney, Adam could appreciate him, sure—but he also felt the need to be cautious.
Lü Xiaobu once dragged Zhang Wei into a bachelor party, causing Zhang Wei to miss his wedding. His fiancée ran off with another guy.
Later, Zhang Wei would often hide away, secretly crying over a photo of his ex-fiancée, Xiaoli, in his wallet.
It looked funny on the surface, but how many people truly understood the pain behind it?
If that bachelor party had never happened, Zhang Wei wouldn’t have "tragically fallen down the stairs and ended up half-paralyzed," nor would he have "traveled back in time, revolutionized farming technology, exceeded production quotas, and received a commendation."
Instead, he would have just attended his wedding.
Without that long delay, his fiancée might not have had the courage to run away with her ex-boyfriend.
After all, it takes a lot of guts to flee a wedding in front of so many friends and family. That long wait probably gave her ex-boyfriend the courage to act, which in turn gave her the courage to follow.
If none of that had happened, Zhang Wei would be married by now.
Sure, maybe Xiaoli still had feelings for her ex, but Zhang Wei knew that. He didn’t care—he just loved her. Who doesn’t have a past?
And with Zhang Wei’s personality, their marriage could have blossomed into something beautiful over time. Who knows? Maybe he would have become the ultimate stay-at-home husband, the Supreme Husband, or The Most Powerful Son-in-Law in some alternate storyline…
But all of that was ruined by one bachelor party.
Did Lü Xiaobu care?
Not at all!
From start to finish, he just thought it was funny. He even joked about it with Zhang Wei later.
If a censored and softened Lü Xiaobu could be so indifferent, what would the uncensored, American version—Barney—do?
Probably something even worse.
Maybe Barney would throw Zhang Wei a bachelor party, get his fiancée to run off with someone else, then immediately go after Zhang Wei’s ex himself…
Yes!
Don’t doubt it!
Barney would absolutely do that!
Knowing that, how could Adam not be wary, especially when Barney had his sights set on Chandler’s wedding?
"I swear," Barney immediately raised his hand.
"Joking around is fine among friends," Adam said, staring at him seriously. "But some things should never be taken as a joke."
At first, Barney held his ground, meeting Adam’s gaze.
But as Adam’s sharp stare bore into him, Barney couldn’t hold out. Eventually, he looked away.
"Okay, okay," Barney sighed in defeat, raising his hands. "I give up. I’ll back off, alright?"
*(End of Chapter)*
