SmilinKujo
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Chapter 82 – The Great North Pole Grand Prix
🕑 Added 2025-05-05 07:36:18 +0000 UTCOne of the Alfar, stern and quiet, stepped forward and dragged a line with his boot into the soft mossy soil of the cavern. “Here’s your starting line.”
Jack blinked at the cavern that could fit a football stadium. He threw his hands in the air. “We’re racing in here?! That’s like... I dunno, 500 meters at best! Come on, this is the North Pole!”
Aska gave no verbal answer. Instead, he raised his hand and pointed silently to the far wall. Runes flickered to life along its surface. WHRRRRRMMMMMM—BOOOOM.
With a deep mechanical roar, the massive stone wall slid open like a hangar, revealing a yawning tunnel that led outside. Cold air billowed in as a dazzling arctic landscape unfurled before them.
Mountains covered in powdered snow. Frozen lakes like glass. The aurora swirling above like a serpent of emerald and violet. It was a postcard from a divine realm. Aska gestured out toward the white expanse. “We’ve placed thirteen checkpoint flags across the North Pole. One for each of my reindeer… and you.”
“All you need to do is grab one from each point. Return here with all your flags.”
Jack’s eyes lit up like a kid at a fireworks show. “LET’S GOOOO!!!” he screamed, bouncing in place like a coked-up gymnast. He practically parkoured to the starting line, spinning mid-air before slamming down in a crouch pose with dramatic jazz hands.
The reindeer lined up, antlers glinting with frost, powerful hooves stamping in rhythm. Each one bore battle markings, not a single red nose in sight—these were war steeds.
The Alfar announcer raised a frost-crusted staff. “Ready…”
Jack leaned forward, butt out, arms wide like he was about to sprint into heaven. He glanced sideways at his competitors and whispered dramatically, “There’s a new Rudolph in town.”
“Steady…”
Jack’s feet crackled with frost as his power built. Wind curled around his ankles. His staff spun into existence, already glowing.
“GO!”
BOOOOOOOOM!!!
The startline exploded in a blast of wind and snow. The reindeer bolted forward like missiles, hooves sparking against the ancient stone, antlers slicing through air.
Jack took two steps forward and immediately belly-slid across the ice, spinning like a curling stone. He shouted, “WHOOOAAA KEKEKEKEKE! FULL SEND, BABY!”
Jack flopped up, took a running start, then vaulted over a cliff using his staff like a pole. He did three flips, caught a flag in his mouth mid-spin, and landed directly onto the back of a reindeer. “Yooo, mind if I hitchhike a bit?”
The reindeer snorted, tried to buck him off. “I love you too, Dasher!”
Jack leapt off the reindeer’s back and surfboarded down a glacier—on his staff—doing figure eights while blowing snow in perfect spirals behind him.
He stopped just long enough to grab the flag, strike a ballet pose, then flipped the bird at two confused reindeer who arrived moments later. “Too slow, boys! Did someone glue your hooves?!”
One of the reindeer tried to body-check him from the side. Jack screamed in mock terror, “AAAHH, REINDEER VIOLENCE!” He responded by dropkicking it sideways into a snowbank and yelled, “Blitzen just got blitzed!”
Jack zigzagged between frost geysers, tossing snowballs over his shoulder like he was playing Mario Kart. One nailed a reindeer in the eye. “Friendly fire, my bad!” He laughed as he backflipped over a frozen river, using his robe as a parachute.
He literally ran up the side of a mountain, laughing like a lunatic, dragging a streamer of ice behind him. The sheer velocity of his movement caused a mini-avalanche, which roared down and swallowed three reindeer behind him.
Zephyr, from above shaking as if shouting. “OH MY GODS JACK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”
Jack, mid-air, twirling a flag. “My new move, SNOW MONKEE!”
A snow worm exploded out of the ground in front of him. Jack screamed… and then ran up its back, used its frozen spine like stepping stones, and launched himself back into the air with a cartwheel.
A flag hung high on a frozen tree. Jack slid to a stop, squinted at it… Then summoned a giant slingshot made of candy canes, climbed in, and launched himself straight into it. The tree bent from impact. He snapped off the flag and bounced off branches all the way down, landing with a superhero pose in front of two gaping reindeer. “...Not gonna lie, didn’t plan that one.”
By this point, Jack was so far ahead he stopped at the last flag and built a tiny snowman of himself. He used icicles for the staff and smeared coal dust for the smirk. “Here lies Jack Frost: too fast, too fabulous.”
He plucked the flag, turned to the distant finish line—“Time to end this with style.”
Jack summoned a snow-scooter, revved it with divine energy, and blasted off, sparks and frost trailing behind him like a comet. The snow beneath his heels ignited into crystalline fire, his laugh echoing through the mountains—“KEKEKEKEKEKE!!! EAT MY FROST!”
He skidded across the barn floor, all thirteen flags fluttering behind him like a war banner, and slid into a crouch pose across the line, a full three minutes before the first reindeer arrived.
Everyone stared. Zephyr hovered nearby, horrified. The Alfar looked as if they'd just seen a snow demon reincarnate as a circus performer. Jack dusted his shoulders, twirled a flag, and smirked. “Guess it’s not me who can’t catch them…” He slowly turned toward the reindeer still galloping in the distance. “...It’s them who can’t catch me.”
The cheering had barely settled when Aska strode up to Jack, his face unreadable, voice dry as powdered snow. “Give it back.”
Jack blinked innocently, tucking his hands behind his back. “Give what back? I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you implying I'm a thief? A scoundrel? A magpie in human form?”
Aska didn’t answer. He just narrowed his eyes with that classic elven stare—centuries of unimpressed silence in a single look.
Jack wilted a little. With a huff, he reached into his robe and reluctantly pulled out a shiny, gear-shaped object—small, silvery, humming with subtle runes. “Ugh, fine. Here. It’s just a dumb shiny bolt anyway.”
Aska raised a brow as he snatched it back. “That ‘dumb shiny bolt’ is a storage key. It’s enchanted to summon anything inside it—tools, blueprints, old sleigh designs. I assume that’s how you conjured the… candy cane slingshot, snowboard, and divine snow-scooter during the race?”
Jack muttered under his breath while kicking the snow. “Yeah… I kinda knew I wasn’t supposed to use it. But it was soooo cool.”
Aska sighed and tucked the ring safely into a hidden pouch. “Well, that concludes the tour. Next area’s off-limits.”
Jack's head whipped around. “Wait—what? No, no, no. That’s not the deal! Just because I won by a landslide doesn’t mean you get to throw a snowball tantrum and cut my tour short. You’re such a sore loser.”
Aska didn’t even flinch. “It’s not that. The next chamber is Saint Nicholas’s private sanctum. Even we Alfar have never stepped inside.”
Jack froze. His eyes gleamed. “Oh. Okay. Private, you say? Yeah, that makes sense. Definitely don’t want me or you snooping around a sacred Santa sanctum. Total boundary breach. Respectful space and all. Very holy.”
“…Exactly.”
There was an awkward pause. Jack was clearly calculating something in the background. Aska clapped once, cutting through the tension. “Come. I’ll forge you a personalized toy. Something no other soul in the realms owns.”
Jack's entire demeanor shifted in an instant. His face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. “OH, a custom toy? With my name on it? Like, frost-engraved?!”
Aska chuckled faintly and turned to walk. Behind them, a few Alfar led the reindeer back toward the barn, their hooves clicking on the stone. The rest of the group followed Aska and Jack toward the forge chambers deeper in the mountain.
As they walked, Jack, completely unashamed, leaned in with a gleam in his eye. “Sooo... could you maybe make one for each of my clones too?”
Aska didn’t even glance back. “You can make clones?”
“Oh yeah,” Jack said proudly, brushing snow out of his hair. “Technically, each strand of my hair could become a separate clone if I divide it right. That’s, like... millions.”
Aska stopped dead in his tracks. “...Each. Of your. Hair strands.”
Jack nodded with a grin that could melt a glacier.
“Yup!”
“No.”
“Aw, come on—”
“Absolutely not.”
“Not even one per eyebrow? They’ve got personalities!”
“NO.”
…
Olympus…
Zeus was still mid-rant, storming across the marble halls of Olympus, thunder crackling at his fingertips as his words echoed through the pillars like war drums. “—AND ANOTHER THING! The disrespect! The insolence! That boy cavorts around the realms like a court jester dipped in chaos, and what of Hermes? He was supposed to keep an eye on him!”
His voice bounced off statues and golden walls, rattling amphoras and shaking clouds. But then he paused. He looked around. “...Where is Hermes?”
In a far corner of the hall, reclining on a cushioned chaise with a goblet of nectar in hand, Dionysus lazily lifted a brow. “Can you blame brother Hermes?” he said, swirling his wine. “You’ve been ranting so long, I’ve had to refill this cup several times. And that’s saying something, Father. Not that I’m complaining.”
Zeus’s nostrils flared. His lightning dimmed slightly as annoyance shifted into exasperation. “Hermes… still a child. And you—irresponsible as ever, drunk before midday.”
Dionysus toasted with a smile. “It's always midday somewhere in the multiverse.”
Zeus slumped onto his throne with a thunderous crack, rubbing his temples. “Why… why do I have a parade of useless offspring? Is there no heir who can carry the storm without tripping over his own ego?”
A bolt of lightning sizzled across the sky, but for once, it didn't strike anything. Just a sigh from a weary father of gods.
…
Asgard…
Far away, atop the glittering realm of Asgard, Odin stood beneath the shifting cosmic sky, deep in council—not with a warrior, nor with a seer, but with a severed head cradled in golden runes and preserved magic: Mimir. “You must send Thor to Midgard,” the wise head said, his voice echoing with eldritch resonance. “Sooner rather than later. If not to fight, then at least to grow.”
Odin stroked his beard, heavy with thought. “I can’t just cast him down, not without reason. I’ve allowed him to run wild for too long. It would be cruel.”
“Cruelty and kindness are a king’s burden,” Mimir said calmly. “You have seen what’s coming. And the sooner he learns responsibility, the better. He’s strong—but raw. Untested where it matters.”
Odin nodded grimly. “I still need Yao’s go-ahead. He is the Vishanti’s successor, after all. If I make a move without consensus, it could cause ripples.”
“Ah yes, Yao,” Mimir mused. “He does tend to measure twice before cutting. Wise choice. Still… you must prepare the boy.”
Odin let a tired smile cross his face. “At least my offspring aren’t as troublesome as Zeus’s.”
Mimir chuckled—an unsettling, hollow sound from a head with no lungs. “Well, Zeus has been busy. Unlike you, he had many. If you compare Thor to Ares… well, Thor is less homicidal.”
That was when the sky of Asgard boomed, not with thunder—but with a voice. “I AM VICTORIOUS!” Thor’s voice echoed across the golden halls like a gong. “Another glorious duel, won in the name of ale and honor!”
A second later, the Bifrost split the clouds with a flash of kaleidoscopic light. Thor landed in the palace courtyard, spinning Mjolnir and tossing his cape dramatically, trailed by warriors chanting his name.
Odin groaned, running a hand down his face. “...How can my child act like this?”
Mimir, ever unhelpful, gave a dry chuckle. “At least he’s cheerful about it.”
Comments
Kujo
Sorry for the delay, my thesis is in the last chapters, and I hope to get my bachelor degree this semester. So, I hope for the best
Vrael333
Thx for the chapter :) I missed them :3
