HushPlushy
patreon
Camping
🕑 Added 2024-10-07 19:44:17 +0000 UTCOkay so, I'm back. But I just want to let you know that this is going to be a very honest post, and not necessarily the most sexy sexy.
There are few things I dislike more than feeling like an outcast. An outsider. Someone who is on the edges of the group, but they don't quite let in.
So..
The camping trip we just went on was me, my partner, and three of his friends from work. Two women, and one guy.
Luckily I'd already met two of them at little work parties my partner had brought me to previously, but, I hadn't met one of the women.
She doesn't have a car so we picked her up from their job.
I should have known from our first meeting that things were going to be weird for most of this weekend.
Unabashed staring at my chest. Not a look, ashamed, then eye contact, but full-on gawking.
Like her eyes were saying
" Are congrats or condolences in order for the amount of tiddy my eyes are experiencing."
With a simple eyebrow raise she communicated all this and more to me.
We got to the campground pretty late, so it was a lot of hustling to make sure the tent was set up, the air mattress was blown up, and our heated blanket and lights were charged.
I haven't been camping in a long time so this was actually kind of exhausting for me. After setting up we all cooked hot dogs over the flame and just sat in a circle talking.
I don't drink, so during the time where everyone else is having their liquid confidence, I typically end up just overeating and getting a little quiet. That was going to be the case for about 2 days.
My partner's other friends sometimes would dart their eyes toward my boobs a little bit, which I understand, but they are just much more understanding and don't linger.
The one woman I hadn't met yet lingered.
Her energy toward me had been weird all night too. Not only was she staring at my boobs often, but she seemed to refuse to look me in the eyes when addressing me. She was extremely dismissive when I spoke.
This kind of stuff is extremely triggering to me since my mom was very dismissive of me when I was growing up. The entire experience made me feel really abandoned and sad. I ended up just slumping down into my seat and eating.
Donuts, too many hot dogs, an extra hamburger, 3 cans of Pepsi... I had a little tummy ache by the end of the night. It just felt like as they all got drunker, they got louder and happier, and I felt further and further away. Felt natural to just keep eating and eating. Dissociating into sweets and savorys.
But...Before the night ended she had to drunkenly say something.
I was getting very sleepy so I don't remember her words exactly but it was basically
"I wasn't gonna say anything but godamn those are so huge"
...
My stomach sank as I realized that nobody here was really sober enough to realize that I didn't want to launch into a half hour conversation about my boobs where everyone lines up with a question.
I think part of the reason I like this patreon so much, and some of the paid chats that y'all engage with me on, is that I have full control. I can say no to any question, and I can answer with as much vulnerability or silliness as I please. Talking about my boobs actually becomes something that empowers me... Whereas, in this situation, it did the opposite.
Maybe I need to find better boundaries but it felt like I couldn't just say " I'd prefer not to talk about my breasts right now."
Instead I said something like
" Yeah it's gotten pretty crazy"
I left the door cracked an inch and she pushed it wide open.
The next 30 minutes were basically her badgering me about every cliche boob question that there is. I sat there, dissociated, word vomiting answers like I was in detention and being forces to explain what I'd done.
We all went to bed really late Friday night and then woke up Saturday morning. To everybody else it was like nothing had happened. It was a dream the night before, easily forgotten.
We all went back to our tents and seemingly everyone fell asleep easily. I didn't have the booze and weed in my system to make it all foggy. I just lay there in bed running it through my mind over and over again. Why didn't I just say I don't want to talk about it. She would have looked like a bitch if I had just said that.
If all of the questioning wasn't enough, my breasts were feeling sore and tender all night. I could tell I wouldn't be getting to sleep easily while I massaged them and digested all the weird crap I'd eaten.
At around 3 in the morning I thought I heard a group of coyotes or something moving through the campground as well. In my mind I was cursing these drunk idiots for leaving hot dogs out.
The next morning we all got together and made breakfast. Again, I had the compulsion to overeat.
We went on a hike, which I was happy to have brought boots for. My back started screaming at me about halfway through, but at that point I couldn't do much except plod forward, completely aware that it was my boobs that had caused this pain no one else was really aware of.
I should mention that my partner was constantly checking in with me and being an absolute pillar of support and love. Even during the badgering about my boobs the night before, he was the one to finally end it by saying we should all go to bed.
Again, during the hike, that boob curious bitch made comments. I guess it had became obvious that I was the one slowing the group down a bit, having to sit down every now and then, massaging my shoulders and back a bit since the plaid I was wearing wasn't compressing my breasts far enough back to make going uphill any easier.
I can't emphasize enough how much I felt like an outcast. Not only because I wasn't a part of their constant work-related conversations, or the fact that I wasn't as excited to get back to the campground for drinks and weed, but even the physical activities they took part in I couldn't really do.
They brought a basketball to dribble around, which is something my own jiggly basketballs prevent me from doing easily. 😑🤣
" Want to play two versus three?" She asked
Me, looking down at my boobs
"Nah go ahead without me..." 😅😂🤣😭
I was able to play a game of horse afterwards, where there isn't as much movement involved, just shooting. But even then, I can't do it like everyone else. There's so much quivering and movement going on between my elbows that guiding the ball to the hoop is much more complicated compared to even just a year ago.
This time she didn't comment, I think out of sympathy. Which didn't make me feel that much better. The girl who's been making fun of me for having giant freakish boobs is now realizing that they're so big it's actually not even normal, so she lays off while they all have fun running up and down the court, something my breast size prevents.
At that point I would have welcomed a little humor instead of pity.
By the time we got back to the campground that was getting a bit dark, and the drinks started coming out again. I started to get anxiety and again leaned into overeating. My stomach a little bit bloated and sensitive from the day before, but I for some reason ignored those signs and just kept lifting chips and cookies and s'mores to my lips.
That night there wasn't as much of a boob interrogation, but more like a similar amount of attention paid to them from her, but spaced out throughout the fireside chat. I feel weird since normally my boundaries are so good around people. I feel "no is a complete sentence" but in this weird different power dynamic I felt like I just couldn't speak up.
It really felt like I was being bullied for something I have no control over.
She went to sleep earlier than the other two and I ended up having a much better night for the last 2 hours. Making more s'mores than I needed and laughing about how scared we all were hearing coyotes howl into the night.
We stayed up till about midnight and then went back to our tents.
A nice little boob detail y'all might enjoy is that it was so cold, I started to have little pokie nipples in my shirt. My partner noticed.
The last morning we were all together. I didn't want to hear about my boobs again so I put on a full turtleneck and compression layer and just made my boobs the least visible possible. It was super tight around my chest and baggy around the armpits.... needing enough fabric for the boobs to not split my top into, but leaving a lot of fabric for where it should fit a much larger person. Anyway, it helped with the cold.
Sorry this blog post wasn't a bit more dynamic or bombastic, and definitely not as many jokes or silliness but this is just kind of how I was feeling.
I'm going to think about what the posting schedule is going to be like going forward since I do think I have more to say if it's only a post once a week, but I don't want to limit myself to that since some weeks I may just add some extra content for the fun of.
Thanks so much for being here with me on this journey y'all. It actually means so much to me that not only have y'all become a new income, but also a new support system where I can vent.
🥰🍈🍈🩵
Comments
Ron 😀
I just think that when we go out, we have to make sure we're well surrounding, i mean in the future, make sure you go out with nice people, with people you love, with people you appreciate and they appreciate you for what you are, for your heart, for your kindness and so on...♥️💙♥️
Bryan
You do you. What you are going through is not in your control. That being said. I would suggest that you be assertive in certain situations of the obvious octular oddities. Easier said than done.
NOKI
that boob curious bitch.... 😂 😂 😂 😂
Richard
Being alone without wanting to be is one of the worst things you can imagine as a human being. And yet it is not necessary: We humans know from the history of mankind, from evolution, that a single person starves to death. Eaten by wild animals. Freezes to death. Because they are barely able to survive on their own. That's what causes the fear to rise. Today without any rational basis. But fear has nothing to do with rational thinking. Often all it takes is one person, sometimes even one look, to fall into uncertainty and fear. I am so sorry to hear what you have experienced. And thank you very much for this honest contribution. This is what makes me want to write something - not the “sexiest” posts. Because I realize it's not about something you're “carrying around”, it's about something that is seriously bothering you. Even if only for a few days of camping. But as a human being, you shouldn't have experiences like that. Demarcate. Say no. Stand up for yourself and feel when a boundary has been reached or crossed. It's never about the other person - it's about you. How important are you to your own health so that you can (kindly) tell someone else where your boundary has been crossed and that you want to change the subject? I know this well. And it can be learned. Keep at it - I believe in you!
Dundee
Thanks for sharing so much with us. Lots happened, overall hopefully you can look back and remember the good stuff. You're a very open, caring, and fun person and deserve the best. Stay healthy mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Greedi
It's hard being an outcast but I've learned to embrace it. Growing up without much social interaction and being a really late bloomer made me different than everyone else. I currently have a unique job at the company that I work for and it really fits well for me even though I don't fit in. Not great hearing you met someone that made you uncomfortable but as far I can tell meeting these people is just part of life. Good to hear that you have a supportive partner. That is an amazing thing to have.
Darien
Also, I know I already commented, but camping is supposed to be fun and I always find a way to single out people doing problematic behaviors and annoy them with every fiber of my being. I've gone camping with a group where someone was in an old fashioned regular wheel chair, so I know all about taking breaks while taking a hike. One person got really aggravated towards our wheel chair bound friend. So I would climb up in trees and make ape noises directed at the one who was being passive aggressive towards the person in the wheel chair until it got to a point that the complaints were directed towards me, which I let that person have it. It was already on pretty thin ice with that one friend, but that was the end of the line for him when he said how he felt about our wheel chair friend on the camping trip out of frustration.
Darien
She sounds like she isn't very socially aware. Not your fault.
PabF
Heartbreaking post. That woman should be more empathetic but it seems it’s hard for her, you did what you could and what you had to do. Brave, proud and patient of having the most huge and beautiful female assets that anyone could have in 2024. God bless you and thank you for putting so much detail, energy and dedication on this journey. 🙏🏻❤️
Paulie
You're a true camper ♥️ thanks for sharing and relax. Keep your spirits up girlie. She's a big dumb dumb with a bigger mouth. I appreciate the distinction you made between curious normal looks and her look of ...eerie instant bad vibes
Paulie
Haven't finished reading. My heart goes out to you
En-Slime
Not your fault!!
Yojimbo06
It sucks this happened and ruined your trip, and I'm sorry. I feel like had she just been herself around you things would have been fine, but she had to make it weird. Hope you're home resting now at least, and that you have a better experience next time.
Plush
Sorry to give you anxiety
Aaron Aarons
It’s such a strange experience to have.. the closest I can compare it to in my mind is someone who is very tall. The attention and reaction people around you will have and how visceral it can be. That must have been intense.. This insight into this is very eye opening. Even a simple camping trip with a few people can show you. Like a microcosm of how this happens more broadly in day to day life. Hopefully you still had some fun! I love being out in nature!
En-Slime
I really feel for you, these posts give me anxiety. Sometimes I'm afraid to read them. Camping trips are supposed to be relaxing/fun. Anyways most creators on here deliver a post once or twice a month, you've been doing sixteen so it's ok to take a break.
Plush
Awww thx
John Smith
Congrats on 2000 insta followers btw!
Plush
It was really hard. Thx
Plush
Thx
Plush
Thanks for the feedback. Yeah I may do that. I do like having a schedule since it forces me to write, but yeah the quality can falter when it's so often.
John Smith
Sorry that happened, that sounded like a lot to wrestle with at once. Hope you’re doing better now.
EvilSandwich
Honestly, you can't really be blamed. It's really hard to come up with a effective response when you're in a situation where you're just straight up put on the spot.
Portugiuse
I liked your insight into the trip pretty much. Specially the length about the post this time :) I think it would be pretty good for your storys to be posted only once or optionally twice per week as you would have more time to structure your posts 😁
Plush
Yeah. Been a constant topic
Plush
Honestly I should have done something like that. "grab the bull by the horns" but I just kinda froze
Nathan
Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you do more damage to yourself and start to spiral downward emotionally by how you handle some of these interactions. Obviously, I don’t know exactly what’s going through your mind or what your comfort level is, but I think it would help in these situations to preemptively bring up the elephant in the room, and say “yes I realize I have larger than average boobs, and I would really appreciate it if we could minimize the conversation and/or attention towards them”. I know this is not the same, but my ex had a similar situation. She had previously gotten very large implants in her college years. Then later as a young professional, obviously those were less than ideal and she was ashamed of them. In social situations she always tried to hide and pretend they weren’t there. They were unmistakably huge, easily the size of her head (each). So I gave her the same advice, and it actually did help her anxiety. She would only deal with a 2-3 questions up front (no pun intended), but then the rest of the evening the issue seemed to be put to bed. Take it or leave it!
Voidsnake
I hope you’re doing okay now. Did you talk to your partner about it after you got back?
Zolani Salami
Honestly, the candidness adds to the sexiness imo. This one definitely caused some stirring. You can only keep up the over the top sexy vibe for so long, but real experiences don’t need to be faked. It’s sucks to feel outcast though. Hopefully you find some better company
