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Chapter 237 - Crazy Panda
🕑 Added 2025-02-06 07:00:17 +0000 UTC"Leyvi! Bring him back! Bring the God of Handsomeness back! I'm not done looking! It's not five minutes yet! Hurry!" Anda shouted, shaking Leyvi's shoulders so aggressively that his head flailed back and forth like a rag doll.
Leyvi felt like his panda wife had gone crazy. Her normally composed demeanor had been completely overtaken by this strange obsession. If she kept shaking him like this, he might soon become as flexible as Ava. After seeing his maximum handsomeness, he thought Anda would only be head over heels for him. But she ended up joining Mr. Bison and Dorin's delusional group! This was on a whole new level.
Truly horrifying!
If just seeing him at maximum handsomeness could turn Anda into this, what chaos would ensue if he showed this face to other women? The mental image of mobs chasing after him, utterly out of control, sent a shiver down his spine.
Wait a minute. Didn't this already happen to Lin Wei? A group of crazy ladies chased him around many times. No. This Handsomeness Slider is a danger to society. I can never use it again!
Another thought popped into his head. What if I set my handsomeness to 1 instead? Would people feel an uncontrollable urge to obliterate me on sight? Probably. No, scratch that. Definitely. They will hunt me to the end of the world.
The crazy panda rampage lasted almost half an hour before Anda finally stopped shaking him and spouting nonsense, her expression dazed as her brain finally resumed normal operations. Her breathing was uneven, and her hair was a wild mess, sticking out in every direction.
Seeing her settle down, Leyvi gently laid her on the bed, caressing her hair. "Are you alright?" he asked softly.
Anda groaned, rubbing her temples. "My head hurts… I'm so tired. It feels like I've been thinking a million thoughts at the same time, and they were all crazy."
"How much do you remember?" Leyvi asked, watching her carefully. He leaned in slightly, scanning her face for any signs of lingering hysteria.
"Everything..." she admitted, her voice trailing off.
"So... you remember that you became a crazy panda?" Leyvi raised an eyebrow, half-expecting her to deny it.
Anda covered her face with her hands, her cheeks turning crimson. "Yes... but I wish I could forget it. I never thought seeing a handsome man would drive me that crazy. I thought I was above behavior like that. Now I think I can sympathize with Dorin a little."
"Pftt..." Leyvi almost laughed. He wasn't sure if Anda was cracking a joke or not.
"Well, I can't blame you. If I saw my maximum handsomeness again, I'd probably hug and kiss myself too," Leyvi joked, hoping to comfort her.
"Hehe." Anda giggled, the image he painted playing vividly in her mind.
From the way Leyvi talked, it seemed he believed women would fall head over heels for him. But Anda knew better. It wasn't just charm. For others, it might even go beyond logic. Leyvi, of course, seemed immune, probably due to his own familiarity with his face and ability.
"In the future," Anda said, her tone shifting slightly, "don't use the Handsomeness Slider at max level again. At least not on our ladies. That level of handsomeness feels... divine. Like something only a god could pull off."
Leyvi blinked. "A god? Are you sure about that? Are you saying that there's no ugly god?"
Anda raised her hand and tugged Leyvi's ear. "Ei... I'm just giving a metaphor. Don't take it literally."
"Why do you feel that way?" Leyvi asked. Even though he had already realized the danger, he wanted to hear it from someone who had actually felt it.
"Hmm... how do I explain this?" Anda paused, searching for the right words. "It made me feel this extreme reverence toward you. Like, I want you all to myself, but at the same time, I felt like I didn't deserve you. It feels like it's not even love anymore—it's something beyond that. You're so handsome, but... I'm not even feeling attracted to you in a physical way. Isn't that weird?"
"What? You don't even feel horny?" Leyvi blinked, processing her serious tone. He wasn't sure if he should laugh or genuinely be concerned. "So... my face is so handsome that it breaks people's ability to feel normal emotions?"
Anda nodded thoughtfully. "Exactly. It felt like I wasn't looking at a person at all. You became... untouchable, unreachable—like some divine being that mortals aren't worthy of standing next to."
"What the heck! What's the point of being so handsome if it makes my wife impotent?" Leyvi complained.
Anda propped herself up, her face suddenly serious. "Leyvi, I'm actually worried I might become impotent for real. We need to test this immediately!" She stood up and began undressing with determination.
Over the years, her body had become much more beautiful and alluring. It was the result of reaching higher realms and carefully selecting beauty-enhancing alchemy products. Her figure, step by step, was moving towards the epitome of grace and femininity, with gentle curves that flowed seamlessly from her slender waist to her full hips. Anda's skin, a canvas of perfection, was smooth and radiant, inviting touch.
It wasn't just her. Under her guidance, all the ladies in the household were slowly transforming into stunning beauties. Like she once said, she doesn't need to find great beauties for Leyvi because she can turn them all into one. All she needed was loyal ladies.
Still, despite all her efforts to remove any imperfections, Anda kept one thing: her beloved panda eye birthmark. It was part of her, and it would never go away.
Leyvi's gaze went slightly lower and smiled. "You are already wet. It's proof that your body is still the same normal horny lady. I declare you not impotent!"
"No. We must test even further. Miracle Doctor Leyvi, please do it thoroughly," Anda said, her tone changing.
"Yes, yes. Let's start the impotence check-up procedure right away." Leyvi smiled, accepting his panda wife's sudden role-play.
---
Three days later.
Every group preparing to travel to the Central Region gathered outside the Holy Cat City. However, this was only a portion of the group representing the South Region.
After all, it wasn't just the Alchemy Association that had been allocated spots for the Mystic Realm.
The Protectors had also granted Mystic Realm spots to other massive and special organizations spanning the continents, delegating the task of distribution to them.
Of course, the allocation had to follow a method similar to the Alchemy Competition, awarding spots to the most talented young cultivators across various disciplines. Even if those talented cultivators chose not to venture into the Mystic Realm, they could trade or sell their spots for enormous wealth—enough to propel their future cultivation and careers forward.
During the three days, apart from spending intimate moments with his ladies, Leyvi wandered the city center, enjoying the sights and indulging in leisure activities.
He also met with his father-in-law, Magnus Goldstone, who had arrived a day later, and discussed Selene's recent advancement to the Core Formation realm.
Leyvi later conversed with his brother-in-law, Victor Goldstone, who, surprisingly, insisted on joining the expedition to the Mystic Realm. Despite not being a fighter and only an early Core Formation cultivator, Victor was determined to take the risk.
His reason? He sought something—perhaps a clue or a resource—that could make him taller. Leyvi couldn't help but admire his conviction, even if the goal was unconventional.
Leyvi also encountered Tordin Homun near the Alchemy Association building. Their interaction was brief, consisting only of a polite greeting. Although Leyvi held no personal grudge against Tordin, Dorin after all had been living with his family as their alchemist for seven years. So, Tordin's decision to disown her still annoyed him.
As expected, the gathering of the Three Famous Alchemy Families—Goldstone, Homun, and Clover—stirred up intense commotion.
Magnus, Tordin, and Vitali were arguing in loud voices, their Nascent Soul auras clashing as they attempted to suppress one another.
Leyvi shook his head at the spectacle from a distance, creating a Qi barrier around his group to shield them from the chaotic winds caused by the patriarchs' clashing auras.
"They usually try to restrain themselves while in the city," Leyvi remarked, "but I guess it's different now that they're outside."
Anda, standing beside him, sighed. "It's hard to believe we're related to all three of them now."
"If only they could get along," Leyvi mused wistfully.
"Not possible," Ava interjected, her tone dry. "This stupid rivalry has been passed down for generations. The younger ones are indoctrinated by the older ones to hate the other families, continuing the cycle. We don't even know what started it."
"Maybe their ancestors were competing for a great beauty in the past," Leyvi speculated.
"Hmph, who cares? Whatever it was must have been something stupid," Ava mocked. The women of the three families were rarely involved in the feud, as most of the wives and concubines came from outside the families.
Suddenly, a sonic boom echoed across the sky, silencing the bickering patriarchs. They visibly stiffened and began distancing themselves from one another, their expressions uneasy. They knew exactly who had arrived.
It was the city lord, Caterina Feline herself!
Her dramatic entrance was impossible to ignore. She descended from the sky with an air of authority. Caterina herself wore a skin-tight jumpsuit that accentuated her curves, while a cat ears headband sat perched atop her head—a playful contrast to her otherwise imposing demeanor.
"Is it impossible for the three of you to stop causing commotion every time you meet? Do I have to discipline you man-children every single time? Hmm?" Her voice hinted at annoyance.
"The cat lady ghost!" Leyvi exclaimed.
