Faye Daniels
patreon
Not Today Faye
🕑 Added 2020-08-01 21:55:23 +0000 UTC
Today hasn’t been my day. A lot of days lately haven’t been my day and even if I am accomplishing some things I’m not being as successful as I’d like big picture and this really bothers me.
I feel useless. I feel unsuccessful. I feel unaccomplished. I feel lost. I feel like I’m not doing enough. What I am doing isn’t right. I feel like I have NO IDEA what I’m doing and that makes it hard for me to make decisions and push forward.
All of those things feel terrible.
I made the decision to try to do Patreon/OnlyFans full time since I lost my day job during Covid a couple weeks ago. I’m just out of my second month on OnlyFans and I’ve done really well with growth thus far however, I’ll need more monthly income in the future to make it sustainable.
This incites a ton of fear. I doubt that I’m hot enough (compared to all these “video vixen” looking “baddies” who make REAL MONEY on OF), I get insecure about not doing full porn because I think that’s what most people ultimately want, and I get really frustrated because I’m constantly at odds with myself regarding content. I look at people like Corwin Prescott who ONLY posts AMAZING photographs. And while I’m not saying that I’m on his level (I doubt I ever will be), I can make some pretty nice things. Right now though, I feel like I’m caught with the pressure to post daily on OF I don’t have time to make things of that caliber consistently. I look back and I HATE so much of what I posted even though my followers like it. They like that things aren’t as professional and polished there, that I post a ton of cell phone selfies and videos because it feels like the things that a real life girlfriend would send to them. I get it! I’m just not super comfortable with it.
And then there’s the other side of all of this - the business side.
It’s no secret that the bigger your social media following is the more fans and income you have. In regards to Social Media I feel so BEHIND. I feel as though I use it but I don’t understand how to fully utilize it to my benefit re: business and everything I do know about how to make it work for me involves investing money. Money which right now I don’t have because I’m barely making it.
I think that I “hit” something in the old days of Tumblr. I feel like that was when I was doing well or taking off and when I should have doubled down and tried to maximize exposure and turn whatever I had into something bigger I walked away. I’ve always had day jobs and I’ve deleted multiple platforms with tons of followers (tons so me) in order to keep jobs that I lost eventually anyways.
The guy I’m seeing was like - if you know and talk to these girls….Tess Holliday, Gabi Fresh etc why aren’t you as big as them. You obviously have that potential so what are they doing that you’re not?
**This isn’t ENTIRELY TRUE. Both of the examples I gave at some point were on TV series in the US which gave them a TON of viewers/followers and both quit whatever else they were doing to be influencers. At this point they both have entire teams behind them. Not just to make them look good, but to do their marketing, to be their managers which get them gigs and press etc.**
What I’m saying is, I’m fearful that I missed that “moment” when I should have thrown myself into this stuff. The internet, our social platforms and a ton of other things have changed since then. Now we have to deal with algorithms. Now Facebook owns SO MUCH SHIT IT’S INSANE and you have to pay them to be big and gain views etc. The days of “organic growth” are over. You have to pay to play now.
It’s hard to feel that you can be successful in this without having the money to buy your way to the top. Because it is all for sale. You have to buy views. Buy audiences. Buy attention.
And as much as I know about digital marketing etc….I still feel like for one small town girls all this shit is impossible.
Comments
I can overstand your frustration, esp as a Creative. I get the same way about some of my Artwork at times; some of it I really like, feeling that I've outdid myself, and others I don't like, but others do. Over time, I go back through my Artwork with new fresh Eyes and see what People liked about some of the stuff I despised and my Opinion on it changes. We can be our own worst critic. Another thing: you've been doing this for going on 2 Decades, so you have a WEALTH of Experience, from what you've done that works, to the mistakes you've made that you've learned from. I have noticed over the Years that you've deleted your Tumblr and IG Accts time and time again, which sucked for a long-time fan like myself, but now I see why you did it. Unfortunately, those moments where you took a Hiatus really hurt you due to the fact that shit has changed in the Game, which has left you feeling like you've missed out on alot and playing catch-up with alot of these other up-and-comers. But, you've carved a niche for yourself by being a Mentor and helping out others, so it's not a total loss. There are Women out there who need that Advice and Guidance from a Vet like yourself so they don't make the same mistakes you and others have made...... ....which brings me to my next point........ the Porn thing is definitely a sticky subject. Alot of Models and Sex Workers nowadays are being pressured more and more by Men to do this stuff, and it gets frustrating for them since they're still on the fence about that decision. I get it, there's $$$$$$ in that Industry, esp if you're Independent, but I like what you've been doing all of these Years, so in my Opinion, if it's not broke, don't fix it. Stay in your lane and keep doing what you're doing and don't be afraid to take certain risks if you believe in them. Going back to you stating how your Photos don't look like everybody else's, that's something else that I as an Artist face alot, but I flip it and use it to my advantage by being INSPIRED by it, not feeling like my work is inferior to theirs. Yes, some Photographers might have a more talented Eye and Portfolio, but that doesn't mean that you can't reach that same level that they've achieved, because you can if you have the drive and ambition. Trust me, you're more Beautiful and Talented and Intelligent than you believe. Just remind yourself of these things and much more whenever you get into one of these Funks. Hope these Words help. Senor Fly Guy has spoken. ;D
