Faye Daniels
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I just gave up on being the bigger person.
🕑 Added 2019-12-08 16:05:32 +0000 UTCMy mom has a boyfriend. A boyfriend that no one likes including myself.
Here's what you need to know:
They met 15 years ago.
He moved in after a month.
He has NEVER worked a day in 15 years. He has NOTHING. My mom supports him 100%.
He drinks, all day everyday. I have never seen him drink anything but alcohol. (He wakes up and puts home made wine in his coffee up until he thinks it's right to start on beer. He takes 5 shots a day at different times and continues with beer until it's time for bed.)
He got a DUI a couple years ago while driving my moms car and got it impounded for a week and leaving her to pay an $800 fine to get it back.
So now, he doesn't go anywhere, ever because he can't drive. So any time my mom is home he's like a fucking leech because he has no one to talk to and nothing to do all day. She "goes to bed" at all hours of the day not to sleep but just to have some time to herself.
He's uneducated (didn't finish highschool), homophobic and completely racist.
He's been married twice and has 4 children none of which speak to him. I've known this man for 15 years and no one has called for visited him - to me, that says a lot.
On multiple occasions when he's drunk he'll hit on me and try to touch me.
He's also a bully and completely mean to me despite the fact that I truly try to keep my distance. Example: one night, I haven't seen him at all that day because I was working, the garbage was full so I tied it off and was walking through the yard to put it in the bin. He's sitting in the dark yard drinking beer and he says something that I don't hear. When I'm walking back he's standing and starts throwing his beer on me. ????
He's completely against my mom having photographs of our family up, but the house is covered in paintings he's done and photographs of his family??? There are no pictures of me, my brother or anyone in my moms family. A couple years ago my cousin got married and I was given a picture of all the cousins together. It was in one of those little magnet holders and I put it on the fridge. Every single morning when I woke up, it would be off the fridge and in my purse, which I kept in the kitchen. EVERY.MORNING. (Of course, I'm a little asshole so I kept putting it back up, every single day until he broke it and threw it in the garbage.)
Every time my brother calls me the first thing he asks is if this guy is dead yet?
All that to say that NO ONE likes this guy. My mom has lost almost all of her own friends because no one wants to hang out with him because they dislike him so much. When we are together with our family for Christmas etc, it gets to a point in the evening where everyone will leave just because no one wants to hear him speak anymore.
We've had our disagreements pretty consistently over the years but this is the person that my mom has chosen for whatever fucking reason and since I don't want to hurt her, I don't say anything. I try to keep my distance, to not engage in conversation and just let this fucker die out. (That's very mean, I know.)
But today the smallest thing brought me to my breaking point.
I.....don't cook currently. Because Paul believes that the kitchen is "his". If I'm ever in there trying to do anything it's like he senses it, even when he's outside and feels the need to come and remind me that I'm unwelcome. He'll come in and hover, getting in my space until I'm done. He's even come in, in the middle of me making a dish and move my stuff off the cutting board to start his own dish and then completely crowded the space so I could not finish. (Like.....REALLY?)
He also gets very angry about dishes? So any time I'm in the kitchen, if I use a plate I'll wash it right away and leave it to dry just to make sure that he doesn't have to do any of my dishes. However, if I'm going to make/do something bigger and there are a couple more dishes I will normally do them (unless I have an attitude about something else). So if there's a pot and a couple plates, wash everything and leave it all in the rack to dry.
Yesterday I had a tea but he was cooking in the kitchen. I didn't want to be in his way so I left my cup by the sink and said I'd be back to wash it later once they were done. (Oh, that's another thing, Paul will cook and he will only cook for himself and my mom. I am NEVER invited to dinner even though I fully live here.) When I went back down after about an hour or so my cup was gone and there were no other dishes so I assumed that someone had washed it and put it away. How nice!
However, when I went to make a tea this morning and grabbed my cup from the cupboard I found that no one had washed it, instead Paul put it away dirty. Even though I said I'd be back to wash it once they were done. Even though he did all the other dishes from the dinner. Even though I have no problem doing their dishes on a regular basis.
And so, this morning, when I looked into my cup something broke. I was no longer mad or enraged at his behavior. I just knew that I was done extending olive branches. That the games were over and while I may not make a seen I would never do anything to remotely help this person ever again. I wouldn't keep the peace for my mom's sake.
So I reached under the kitchen cabinets and grabbed every bottle there was and emptied them almost all out. I left about a shot in each and every single one.
Have a great day Paul. Fuck you.
Comments
Faye Daniels
It's not forever
That was a hard read. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
Faye Daniels
What can you do?
This man is complete garbage and I’m sorry you have to deal with his presence.
