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Leave me alone
🕑 Added 2025-05-08 11:00:59 +0000 UTCJames stood at the exit of the Pudong International Airport, blinking against the glaring Shanghai sunlight. The city stretched around him in all directions, vast, humming, alive. Skyscrapers towered like glass titans, neon signs flickered even in broad daylight, and Mandarin chatter echoed through every alley and avenue. He adjusted the strap of his travel-worn backpack, his mind still foggy from the thirteen-hour flight.
He wasn’t a tourist. He was here on something closer to a dream.
A month ago, a rare opportunity landed in his inbox: a summer research internship in China, working night shifts at the newly restored Li Shuyin Memorial Museum. It sounded exotic and prestigious—especially for a final-year history student from London who usually spent his nights buried in dusty books, not guarding ancient relics in a city of twenty-four million.
James wasn’t brave, nor particularly adventurous. But he was curious. That, and he couldn’t say no to being paid to stand in a museum surrounded by priceless artifacts.
The museum was housed in an old stone building tucked between the modern spires of downtown Shanghai. Unlike the sleek architecture around it, the Li Shuyin Memorial had a quiet solemnity, its red-brick exterior adorned with wooden beams and ancient-style lattice windows. It looked like it had been plucked from a forgotten century and dropped into the heart of the city.
Inside, time felt different.
James’s supervisor, a quiet middle-aged woman named Madam Zhao, greeted him in clipped English and showed him around. The interior was dim and cool, with exhibition halls detailing the life and myth of Li Shuyin, a female warrior-priestess who lived over a thousand years ago.
Shuyin had been a general, according to the museum’s accounts. Born to a noble family during a period of regional war, she had defied the gender norms of her time, donning armor and leading men into battle. Her victories were legendary. Her tactics studied by modern military historians. But what fascinated James was how her life ended—betrayed in a mountain pass, her body never recovered, and rumors that her soul had “bound itself in fury.”
The museum centerpiece was a life-size statue of her: obsidian-black, flawless. She stood with her head held high, long hair flowing like carved silk, a curved sword at her side, and eyes that seemed to follow you no matter where you stood.
James couldn’t look at it too long. Something about her expression unsettled him—not fear, not awe. It felt more like… expectation.
His nights began normally. He sat in a small glass booth near the main exhibit hall, sipping tea, reading a book on Qing dynasty architecture. Occasionally, he’d pace through the museum, flashlight in hand, just to feel like he was doing something.
On the third night, he heard it.
A faint sound. A sigh—or maybe a whisper. He turned. No one. Just the echo of his own breath bouncing off ancient walls.
By the fifth night, he felt the cold.
It settled over his skin without warning, like a damp cloth. Not the chill of air conditioning—but something deeper. A creeping sensation that started at the base of his spine and coiled its way up.
And the dreams began.
They weren’t nightmares, not exactly. He’d find himself standing on stone battlements beneath a red moon. Hear the clash of steel. Smell blood and sandalwood. He saw a woman—tall, poised, eyes burning like fire under her helmet. She never spoke. She only watched him, silently, as if waiting for him to understand something he hadn’t yet grasped.
He woke drenched in sweat, his sheets twisted, his breathing shallow.
The next morning, brushing his teeth, he paused.
His hair was… longer.
Not much. But enough. A few inches, and finer. The strands looked darker under the light. He frowned, running a hand through it. Probably just jet lag and stress, he thought. Maybe some weird water reaction. He laughed nervously.
It was nothing.
James had always been the kind of person to follow routines. He could set a clock by it. Even in this foreign city, far from London, he fell into the rhythm of his night shifts at the museum. Walking the same empty halls, checking the locked doors, keeping the lights dim. It gave him a sense of control in a place so different from what he knew.
But as the days passed, something strange began to stir. It wasn’t the museum itself. Not the architecture or the cold stone. It was her. Li Shuyin.
The statue was impossible to ignore. Not because of its size, or its imposing sword, but because James felt her. Every time he passed, there was a subtle shift in the air—an unsettling weight. He tried to brush it off as the effects of being away from home, but there were moments when the whispers in the back of his mind felt too real to ignore.
It wasn’t direct at first. No voices. Just feelings. Unease. A sense of waiting. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but it was as if something—or someone—was always there, just out of sight.
James woke one morning with a strange heaviness in his chest. Not from the bed, but from within. His reflection looked the same, but there was something subtly off. His hair had grown, the ends curling slightly around his ears. His face was softer somehow, the sharp edges of his jaw rounding in ways he didn’t remember.
He stood frozen for a moment, inspecting his reflection as though searching for some explanation, but there was none. Just the lingering discomfort of the night.
That night, he tried to shake off the feeling, pushing himself to focus on the usual routine. Yet as the hours wore on, his mind wandered again. To the statue. To her. And when he glanced back at the hall, there it was again—the sensation of being watched.
The dreams grew more vivid. Each time he closed his eyes, he saw flashes of a battlefield—dust and smoke choked the air, swords clashed in the distance. He was in the middle of it, sword drawn, yelling orders he didn’t understand, but somehow knew. There were voices, but no words. A constant rush of battle, a desperate pull in his chest as the world around him dissolved.
Then, one night, it escalated.
He stood again on that same battlefield, but this time, there was no sword. No orders. Just blood. His blood.
A spear pierced his side, and he fell, feeling the cold weight of the earth against his back.
He woke suddenly, chest heaving, heart racing. It was darker than usual.
His hands were trembling, and when he stood to look in the mirror, he could barely recognize himself. His body felt off, like he was living in someone else’s skin.
He leaned forward, squinting at his face. His eyes seemed sharper, more alert than they had been just hours before. He reached up, touching his jaw again. His skin was smooth. His hips… broader?
“No,” he whispered to himself. “This isn’t right.”
It was subtle, but unmistakable. A creeping sense that his body wasn’t quite his own anymore. Something was taking root beneath his skin.
He didn’t know how to stop it.
The next night, it happened again. The dream. The battlefield. His body changing in ways he couldn’t control. But this time, there was something more. A presence. A feeling that wasn’t his own. It hovered on the edge of his awareness, like a shadow creeping through his thoughts. He couldn’t explain it, but it was there.
He tried to push it away, to focus on something—anything else—but it remained, pressing against him, demanding attention.
In the morning, his reflection showed a clearer change. His jaw was softer, his hips more pronounced. And now, he could feel her presence just behind his eyes, like a phantom of a person inside him, pulling at him, waiting.
The final night before he was scheduled to leave, James sat in the museum for his shift, trying to ignore the unease settling in his stomach. His eyes kept drifting to the statue of Li Shuyin. The longer he looked at her, the more certain he became: she was watching him. Not literally, but in the way her eyes seemed to follow his every move, like an old memory refusing to fade.
And then, at midnight, it hit. He felt it first in his chest. A surge of power, a pull at his soul. The sensation of being filled with something other—something ancient.
His vision blurred, and for a moment, he wasn’t sure which parts of his body were his own. His limbs felt foreign, his chest tight with a pressure that wasn’t entirely physical. He staggered back and caught himself on a nearby table, breath coming fast. His fingers trembled, and then he realized: She was trying to take over.
He wanted to scream, to push her out, but the more he fought, the stronger the pull became. It was no longer just a feeling. It was an urge.
Something in him snapped.
He fought back with everything he had, not just his body but his mind, his identity. He was James. He was himself. But the force pushing against him wouldn’t relent.
There was a moment, a brief one, when it felt like she was in him completely. But then something—something in him resisted.
It wasn’t a fight of strength, but of will. And James had more of it than he realized.
He shoved her back, but instead of breaking free, something else happened.
They were no longer two separate things. There was no single victor.
They were locked in one body, neither fully in control, but both still very much present.
James opened his eyes, breathless. He could feel her inside him, just beneath the surface.
And in the quiet, her voice finally broke through his thoughts, still firm, but softer now, resigned.
> “I don’t want to take your life anymore. I just wanted to live again.”
James swallowed, not sure what to say. But in his heart, he understood.
She wasn’t going anywhere. And now, neither was he.
James sat against the cold stone wall, his mind racing in circles, unable to stop the whirlwind of thoughts. It had been hours, but time felt irrelevant now. He had been haunted by the strange presence, the constant pressure at the back of his consciousness. Her. The ghost.
He let out a shaky breath, running his fingers through his hair. “This is nuts… absolutely insane.” He repeated it like a mantra, as if saying it over and over could make it true.
But it didn’t.
She was there. He could feel her—an unshakable presence, hovering like a shadow in his mind. At first, it was subtle. A flicker of awareness. A cold, quiet energy that seeped into his thoughts.
Then it grew. Not in volume or sound, but in feeling. She was there.
> I’m here.
Her voice wasn’t loud or forceful. It was like a whispering breeze, just enough to make his thoughts waver.
James jumped, his heart racing. "What the hell—?"
> Relax. It’s only me.
He groaned, rubbing his forehead. "I don’t know how to relax when you keep popping in like this!"
> I’m sorry. I didn’t choose this, either.
"Right. Sure," James muttered, exasperated. "This is great. I’m just going to sit here and enjoy having a ghost in my head. What could go wrong?"
She didn’t respond immediately, but there was something in the silence that made him pause. A feeling of… uncertainty?
> I never wanted this.
James glanced around the museum, the stillness of the space somehow making him feel even more isolated. "What do you mean? You didn’t want to possess me?"
> Not possess. Not control. I just wanted to… live. To exist again, not to take your life.
James furrowed his brow. "Then why…? Why me?"
For a moment, she didn’t answer. Then he felt a shift, subtle but distinct. It wasn’t a physical change—it was more like a wave of something that passed through his thoughts.
> I don’t know. Maybe fate, maybe something else. But I can’t change it now.
He slumped against the wall. “This is insane.”
The voice softened, like a whisper of regret.
> I never intended for this. But I can’t leave. You must understand. I can’t go back to nothingness. I can’t fade away again.
James sat there, processing her words. For a long time, there was silence between them. He didn’t know what to say. His mind couldn’t make sense of the situation. Couldn’t make sense of her.
“You know,” he said slowly, trying to wrap his mind around this new reality, “I don’t even know you. You just… you’re just here, in my head, and now I’m supposed to… what, coexist?”
> Coexist. She repeated the word, testing it. It sounds right.
“You know, this is insane, right? I’m losing my mind. This isn’t real. This isn’t happening.” He shook his head, trying to focus on something, anything. The fact that his own thoughts were not entirely his was… overwhelming.
> It’s happening. I’m here. You’re here.
He took a long, deep breath. "So, what now? Are we just supposed to… share this?"
There was a pause, like she was considering the question carefully, weighing her words.
> Neither of us can take full control. If I do… it could destroy you. And if you try to force me out, I will resist. We are… bound.
"Great," James muttered. "Just what I wanted. A haunted partnership."
> It’s not ideal, but it’s the reality we face. Neither of us is in control, but neither of us is fully lost, either.
"So we’re stuck like this?" he said, half-laughing, half-serious. "What happens now? Do you take over when I’m not paying attention? Like, I’m just walking down the street and boom, you’re in my body, making me do weird stuff?"
> No. I’m not here to take your body. I only want… to exist. I’ll only be with you when I’m needed.
James felt something stir, an odd mixture of relief and confusion. "So, you’re not gonna, like, hijack me in the middle of a lecture or something? I won’t suddenly find myself dancing in front of a crowd?"
There was a moment of pause, as if she were considering it.
> That would be amusing. But no. I won’t do that. I’m here because… I need to be.
James blinked. "Well, I’m glad we’re on the same page. No impromptu dance parties."
> Not unless you want one.
He couldn’t help it. He chuckled. It was ridiculous—everything about this was. The ghost in his head, the shared body, the possibility of randomly doing things that neither of them wanted. But, for a moment, the absurdity of it all made it… lighter.
"Alright," James said, his voice quieting. "I’ll... I’ll figure this out. But we need rules. Some kind of boundaries."
> Agreed.
"Good. No turning me into a puppet. No weird control stuff."
> I won’t. I’ll never force you.
"Alright. And… you’re sure you’re not just going to, like, take over one day?"
> I can’t. If I did, you’d die.
James exhaled slowly, trying to take that in. "Okay, so we’re stuck together. But I’m not being consumed. I’m… not losing myself?"
> No. I’m not taking your life, James. I never wanted to. But we will have to live this way. Together.
"Well, that’s one way of putting it." He leaned his head back against the wall. "At least this won't be boring."
> I promise you, it won’t be.
James couldn’t help but laugh, despite the overwhelming situation. "Yeah, no kidding. Who needs normal when you’ve got an ancient warrior in your head?"
For a while, they sat in silence again, but it wasn’t the kind of uncomfortable quiet it had been earlier. Now, it felt like they were figuring it out—together, in this strange, shared space. Neither of them in control, but somehow, maybe for the first time, both of them fully present.
James had been processing it for hours. Or maybe it was days. Time wasn’t exactly clear anymore. His mind felt... overloaded. Conversations in his head with a voice that wasn’t his own were starting to blur together, like some fever dream he couldn’t wake up from.
"Alright," he muttered to himself, standing in front of the mirror again, studying the man who wasn’t entirely himself. He looked... different, but still familiar enough. His hair was longer than usual, and he could’ve sworn his posture was slightly off—more graceful, less stiff. He exhaled deeply.
> I didn’t do that, the voice drifted in, like a soft breath of air.
James rolled his eyes. “Oh, don’t start with that. You and I both know this is your fault.”
> You don’t understand. The voice sounded distant but sincere. I can’t control you fully. This is... both of us, now.
“Yeah, right. Both of us,” James muttered under his breath, leaning against the wall, pressing his palms into his eyes. “I’m losing my mind...”
> Not completely. You’re still... you. The voice seemed to hesitate for a moment. Though it’s strange. Sometimes I feel you more clearly, and then... sometimes, it’s like you’re fading.
"Great," James sighed, straightening up. "So now you're reading my mind, too?"
> I’m not trying to. But when we’re together like this... it’s hard not to.
The absurdity of it all hit him again. He had a ghost inside his head. He wasn’t imagining it. But she wasn’t... evil? She didn’t seem malicious. More like a lost part of the past, trapped inside his mind for some reason. She didn’t want to hurt him—he wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.
After a long, silent moment, James spoke again, voice tight with frustration. “So, what now? Do we just... co-exist like this forever? I mean, I can’t just keep having you pop in every few seconds and mess with my thoughts. I can barely concentrate as it is.”
> I don’t know. But I can’t leave. Not yet.
The words were simple but had weight to them. There was no anger, no defensiveness. Just a matter-of-fact truth that seemed to settle in the air between them. She was here. And she wasn’t going anywhere.
“Well, that’s comforting,” he deadpanned, his head falling back to the wall. “I guess I should get used to this, huh? Sharing my mind with you... forever?”
> It’s not ideal. But I’m not taking over. We’re both stuck here, and I... I don’t want to control you. I just... I want to exist. To feel like I’m not completely gone.
The weight of her words lingered in the silence, and for the first time, James couldn’t help but feel a little pity. She wasn’t some all-powerful spirit trying to rule him. She was just... trying to survive, in whatever form that took.
"Yeah, well," he sighed, finally pushing himself off the wall and running a hand through his hair. "I guess if you're stuck with me, I’m stuck with you. So we need to figure this out. Together."
There was a quiet pause before she responded, softer this time.
> Together.
“Yeah. Together,” he repeated, staring at his reflection again. The changes weren’t as drastic, but he couldn’t deny it—he felt different. More in tune with her... presence, if that was the right word. Like he had been living in one body and now was sort of... half in another.
He let out a shaky breath. “Alright, this is crazy. But whatever happens, we’re not falling apart. Not yet. We’ll figure it out.”
James was brushing his teeth when it happened.
One second, it was just him in the mirror, still a bit pale from sleep deprivation, hair a little too long, wearing the same hoodie three days in a row. Then—
Snap.
The reflection blinked. Wrong eyes. Wrong cheekbones. Wrong everything.
The toothbrush clattered into the sink.
“What the—?!”
He stumbled back, grabbing the edge of the counter for support. His voice was still his, kind of. But the woman staring back at him was definitely not. Same hoodie, though it hung very differently now. Her face was sharp, regal, unmistakably Chinese—and definitely hers. The spirit. The warrior.
> I didn’t mean to, her voice said in his head. But it sounded muffled. Awkward. I just... thought about it.
“You thought about it?!” James squeaked, voice higher now, matching the body. “That’s all it takes?!”
> I think we... triggered something. This isn't possession. It's... switching.
He looked down. Then back up. Then down again. He turned a little. Wobbled. Tried to walk, failed. Almost tripped over his own—her—hips.
“Oh, come on!” he groaned. “You’ve got the balance of a tightrope walker and I still nearly fell!”
> You’re just not used to this form. Give it time.
“I don’t want to give it time!”
James huffed and leaned against the wall. The body felt alive in a strange way. Like something ancient and powerful hummed under the surface. She wasn’t just a memory—she was real, and now he was wrapped in her skin like a borrowed coat that somehow fit.
He tried to breathe. Which was weird too. Everything moved differently. He shifted his weight again, arms crossed over a chest that didn’t belong to him. “So... what, I just think about changing back and it—”
Snap.
He was back. Just like that. Same sink. Same toothbrush. Same mirror. He looked completely normal again. Too normal. And deeply, deeply confused.
> That... works both ways, apparently.
James sat down on the bathroom floor, stunned. “So now I have a button in my brain that lets me swap between... me and you.”
> Not quite a button, she said. More like a door. And we both have a key.
“That’s horrifying.”
> You’ll get used to it.
“No, no I will not,” he said, pointing at the mirror as if it was her fault. “This is not a normal Tuesday.”
He paused. Looked at his reflection again. Then added, in a quieter voice, “But... that was kind of amazing.”
> You moved awkwardly, she offered, amused. But yes.
They sat in silence again—him on the floor, her in his head. Sharing breath, heartbeat, thought. Something impossible had just become real.
And somehow, it wasn’t the worst thing.
Epilogue: The Warrior and the Historian
A soft breeze moved through the open windows of the small Shanghai apartment, carrying the distant sound of horns and bicycle bells. Books were stacked on every surface—half open, dog-eared, annotated with pens in at least three languages. On the balcony, a small bonsai tree bent slightly under the sunlight.
At the dining table, Lu was writing.
Well—James and Lu were writing. In her body, of course. It had become their preferred form for long sessions of research and storytelling. Lu’s posture was better, her handwriting neater, and her concentration unshakable. James said it helped him focus.
“You’re adding too much military detail again,” James murmured in her mind, half amused.
“It is relevant. They must understand why we split the formation at dawn. Otherwise the siege tactics make no sense.”
“This is a chapter on wedding customs, not battlefield maneuvers.”
“They overlap. Trust me.”
James chuckled softly. He'd learned to trust her. He'd also learned how to cook congee, how to walk gracefully in a qipao, and how to field questions from confused academics when “Dr. Lu Jinyan” submitted another groundbreaking article to an international journal.
Their latest book was nearly finished. A historical memoir told in dual voice—half research, half lived memory. It blended James’s academic structure with Lu’s vivid firsthand recollections, corrected by James when her poetic metaphors got out of hand, and enriched by Lu when his writing became dry and technical.
They were a strange pair. But they worked.
Lu set the pen down and looked at the last line she’d written.
> “It was not death that I feared, but being forgotten.”
She tapped the page gently.
James’s voice was quieter now. “You won’t be.”
They both knew it was true. Together, they were writing history—not as it was speculated, but as it had been. Real. Alive. Breathing.
“And tonight,” Lu added aloud with a small smile, “we switch back. You promised.”
James groaned. “I did. But if I wake up in your silk pajamas again, I’m blaming you.”
“Then wear them with pride.”
They laughed together—two voices, one body, perfectly out of sync and yet never more united.
Outside, the city moved on. But inside that small apartment, a long-forgotten warrior and an unremarkable historian had found something extraordinary: a second life neither had expected… and one they now shared.
Together.
