Neven Iliev
patreon
Now writing Everybody Loves Large Chests: Knowledge Is Power #3
🕑 Added 2017-12-05 03:45:34 +0000 UTC Before we start, I would like to ask you guys to leave behind some feedback, as I'm not 100% sure whether what goes on here makes logical sense.Planned chapter highlights:
Boxxy deals with Reggie and gets the deets on the soulstone situation.
After that it's time for another road trip, because there ain't no rest for the wicked. Money don't grow on trees.
It's got bills to pay, it's got a mouth to feed, and there's nothin' in this world for free.
So it can't slow down, it can't hold back, though you know, it never would.
Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked, until they close their eyes for good.
Comments
The GrandMage
You know, the more we see of the Foundation, the more I feel like they're really bad at their job.
NoodleGod
Hmm. Sorry i missed feedback time. I like how it turned out.
Neven Iliev
That was my most pressing concern, yes. Wasn't sure whether the interaction between them felt forced. I've since added a brief scene during which Reggie freaks out and expresses his outrage before returning to 'business mode.'
Saysca
I'm not sure Reggie would be calmed so easily considering what it had undergone, although having a Dryad AND Boxxy there would certainly mean he wouldn't try anything rash. Maybe try thinking about it as if Boxxy were in Reggie's place and how he would react? Or seeing as you're writing third-person omniscient you could include what Boxxy and/or Reggie are thinking at the time to help make their thought processes more clear and logical. I dunno, it doesn't seem too far-fetched to me though. Is that what you wanted feedback on?
