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What is dead may never die (Chapter 103)
🕑 Added 2024-01-14 18:22:40 +0000 UTCBrothers
Jaime POV
The road was rough. The cart I rode in bumped into every rock and hole in the road. My legs and hands were tied up and chained to the cart. Like every prisoner, we were transported to Storm’s End. My back ached, as I didn’t have time to rest from falling off my horse. Stannis, stripped of armor, quickly took me prisoner, put me in rags, and chained me to a cart.
I can barely remember how the battle ended. All I remember seeing was our forces being overwhelmed, and without anyone leading them, they had no choice but to run for their lives or surrender. At least Stannis didn’t kill those who surrendered, as thousands of us were in the same situation, bound and dragged with the rest of the army to Storm’s End.
It was another humiliating defeat for me. What good was I? The greatest swordsman in the known world, who couldn’t win even once. I wonder if two kings defeated and captured anyone else in history, or was it just me? And this time, I don’t think my father will save me. It was so damn humiliating that I wanted to die.
At least I was separated from my men. I don’t think I would have the courage to look at them in this state. Where did everything go so bad? I didn’t have anyone to blame for this either. It was me who killed Robert and Ned. I started this war, and now I have to pay for it. But it wasn’t just me who had to pay for my mistakes. My actions allowed people like Theon to gain power and wreak havoc wherever they went.
Damn the Tyrells too. Of course, we should not have trusted them. What kind of game they were playing was beyond me. But I am sure that they haven’t allied themselves with Stannis. Otherwise, Garlan wouldn’t have defeated the eight thousand men coming as reinforcement for Stannis. But then, why betray me?
“Get out, Kingslayer; we will stay here for the night,” One of Stannis's men threw me off the cart. “Don’t try anything stupid, like last time. This time, King Stannis won’t show you mercy. You will be lucky if we only stop cutting off your arms.”
I was too weak to fight back, unlike the first night. One measly meal a day barely sustained me. And I wouldn’t be surprised if I had multiple fractured bones from the way I was thrown around and beaten regularly. I could barely keep up from being dragged by the rope to the cage prepared just for me. Every night, I would stay here in the dark and cold until the sun rose and I was forced on the cart again.
“Eat,” A bowl of gruel was thrown at my feet.
I did as I was told, as I knew it would be the first and last meal of the day. I was not even given a spoon, so I had to scoop the gruel with my hands. It was not enough, it never is enough. Like every night, I would go to sleep hungry. That is, if I could manage to fall asleep, the cage didn’t have enough room to stretch out. The best I could do was lean against the rough and uneven wall of the cage, and how I was tired enough to fall asleep.
“Jaime,” I looked over as I heard a whisper. “Jaime, wake up.”
“Who?” It took me a moment to recognize Tyrion through his short black hair. “Tyrion? What? How? Why?”
“It is a long story, and we don’t have that much time,” I could barely believe my eyes. “Guards might come at any moment. So be quiet.”
“I don’t understand?” There were so many questions in my head that I felt dizzy.
“I make it short for today,” Tyrion said as he gave me bread. “I will get you out of here. We still have about ten days until we reach Storm’s End. Rest and regain your strength; I will get back to you tomorrow. I am known as Tobias here. Nobody knows my true identity, so don’t worry about me.”
And like that, he was gone, just as the guard walked over to check on me. I would have thought it was a dream if not for the bread in my hands. I quickly hid the bread in my rags as the guard passed by. I still would have thought I was dreaming if the guard hadn’t thrown a pebble at me, and I felt pain. As the guard left with a laugh, I quickly ate the bread and tried to rest, waiting to see Tyrion once again.
…
On the first day of my capture, I thought I could escape. I was still full of strength and motivation. I took an opportunity to steal a sword from a distracted man and cut down two men as I hopped with my bound legs towards the horse. I didn’t make it as I was hit at the back of my head with the flat of the sword, making my efforts meaningless.
Stannis has ordered his men not to kill me, but they could as they wished with me if it didn’t kill me. The two men I cut survived with my bound arms. I could make only shallow cuts. They didn’t like it and beat me viciously before dragging me through the dirt. If King Stannis hadn’t interfered, my legs would have gone by then. But he clarified that if I tried anything like that again, his men would cut his feet and hands off.
“Have you come to realize your fate?” The woman in red asked me as she rode next to the cart.
“What do you want?” I asked back, not wanting to deal with her today.
“King Stannis is a merciful man,” The woman in red said. “Confess your crimes, and you might be able to seek salvation.”
“My only crime was to lose to you,” I told her.
“We both know that's not true,” The woman replied. “A man who broke his oath twice, what god would accept you? Tell the truth, and you may save what is left of the world after your actions.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
I didn’t know how to describe the woman in red. She was a strikingly beautiful woman. Her red hair and fair skin made her enchanting to every man. But I could see danger in her eyes. Something unsettling was hidden behind those red eyes. Whenever she looked at my eyes, I felt like she could see deep inside me. I wouldn’t say I liked it.
At least she gave up on me speaking and left me alone. And I was fine being left alone until the night fell. I had to hide my eagerness as I was thrown into the cage and given a bowl of tasteless gruel. I waited as darkness engulfed us all, and men didn’t bother with me anymore, and like before, Tyrion emerged from the darkness with bread and even a flagon of ale.
“I forgot to say something yesterday,” Tyrion began as I quickly ate the bread. “You look like shit.”
“I feel worse,” I smiled back at Tyrion. “Will you answer me now? How are you here? Did Joffrey send you to kill Stannis on your own?”
“You don’t know?” Tyrion asked, surprised.
“Nobody informed me of your mission, whatever it may be,” I replied.
“Joffrey is dead. He was killed in his wedding.”
“What?” I spit out my ale. “Killed? By who?”
“Well, our dearest sister proclaimed me to be the killer quite quickly and eagerly, if I may say so myself.”
“Don’t joke around, Tyrion,” I had to stop myself from yelling out.
“I am not joking,” Tyrion said with a bitter smile. “I would be dead if Ser Loras Tyrell didn’t fight for my innocence in trial by combat. It was quite an impressive fight; you would have been impressed how Ser Loras was able to kill the Mountain.”
“I don’t understand,” I was left speechless, unable to believe Tyrion’s words.
“It seems Father made sure you won’t hear about it,” Tyrion sighed. “It makes sense, I guess; it would motivate our enemies if they heard that our King was dead and do the opposite to our men. I don’t have time for all the details, but to put it shortly, Joffrey was poisoned, and I was blamed for it. I made a deal with Loras to fight for me in the trial by combat, and once it was done, I left the city immediately. I was going to Dorne before I met Stannis’ soldiers and became the camp follower.”
“It is a lot to take in,” I confessed.
“Well, deal with it,” Tyrion replied. “I will try to get close to the men guarding you. It will be hard to get you out, but not impossible. I only need to get the guards drunk and the intervention of the gods. So, start praying. I will be leaving now before the guards see me.”
Tyrion took back the flagon and silently left me. Pray to the gods? What gods? I was probably hated by all of them. The Seven, the Old Ones, and even the Drown God. All I could do was lay my head against the cage wall and hope Tyrion would think of something. My head already hurts from what I have learned today. So many things have happened since I left King’s Landing.
…
All I could do in these days to look forward for the night. Even if I knew I could never escape, it was nice to have some hope. And Tyrion was the only person I could talk to. The bread and the ale he brought helped fill his stomach, and he could feel his strength returning. In this hopeless situation I finally could see light.
“The Tyrells have played us for the fools, huh?” Tyrion said with amusement. “Smart bastards. From the very beginning, they didn’t plan to end this war. I knew I should have been suspicious of how easily Ser Garlan lost at Golden Tooth. He retreated suspiciously fast. Yet it was easier to say that Stannis outsmarted them than they betrayed us.”
“But why?” I asked, not able to comprehend it. “What do they earn from doing this? Stannis is their enemy as he is to us.”
“Is that so?” Tyrion asked. “We were fools to believe the Tyrells. They want power, and they don’t want to share it. So far, their losses were minimal, and they lost most to the Ironborn. It is better for them to let us fight out with Stannis and weaken each other. Sorry to say it, but from what I saw, you lost about twenty thousand men, about half of whom we had gathered. While Stannis lost about ten thousand with most casualties at the hand of Garlan.”
“They fools if they believe they can win this war without us.”
“Are they?” Tyrion asked. “Ironborn had calmed down since Theon disappeared. The North is fine staying in their homes. The only enemy they have to deal with is Stannis. And truthfully, if they came their all, would they lose to him with all the men they had? It wasn’t like Stannis could get more support. And with how weak the Lannisters are now, the Tyrells will take control of the military and economy of the Iron Throne. They planned it all long before.”
“It is still three kingdoms against their one.”
“Do you think the Riverlands will continue fighting without Stannis? And who knows why the Vale is standing with him. If the Tyrells managed to make a deal with them, we, the Lannisters, would be their only obstacle to obtaining power.”
“We should have seen it sooner.”
“Aye, we should have,” Tyrion agreed. “But I guess we get what we deserve. To tell the truth, Jaime, I don’t care anymore. I might even prefer it if the Tyrells win. They will keep Tommen and Myrcella alive at least.”
“How can you say that?”
“Why shouldn’t I?” Tyrion asked. “Our father and sister want me dead. Besides you, I have no family, Jaime. I am saving you not because you are a Lannister, Jaime. I am doing it because you are my brother. But once I free you, we will go our separate ways.”
“It is my fault,” I confessed. “Everything is falling apart because of me. Maybe I should have let Aerys burn King’s Landing, and maybe I should have burned with it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“There are caches of wildfire hidden under King’s Landing,” I said. “King Aerys was going to burn it all when his father invaded King’s Landing. I killed him and the alchemist before it could be done.”
“Why didn’t you tell it to anyone? Does father know?”
“Nobody knows it. And I was going to, but I couldn’t find it in myself to tell it to anyone. When Lord Eddard Stark looked at me with disgusted eyes, I realized it didn’t matter. Robert didn’t care for it; Lord Arryn didn’t say anything to me in private all these years. I just didn’t find in myself to tell the truth.”
“You always took it upon yourself to protect others,” Tyrion smiled at me. “Even back then, when you lied about Tysha to protect my feelings. Anyway, I should get going. I see you tomorrow.”
It was good that it was dark, and Tyrion left because he would have noticed my expression. I am a horrible man. How much more could I keep lying and doing this shit? What was wrong with me? Was I just born to be this horrible? I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. I didn’t even know if I could face Tyrion tomorrow.
…
Only two more days were left until we reached Storm’s End. I didn’t know if I should have cursed the gods and thanked them for not letting Tyrion visit me for so long. At most, he found time to tell me how his plan was going and give me food before having to leave me. I didn’t know if I could talk with him for an extended time.
I wanted to tell him the truth so badly. Seeing him so desperately helping me crushed my heart. I didn’t deserve it. Tyrion was the best of us in the end. He gave us all so much, yet all we could do for him was to hurt him. The hatred for myself, Cersei, and my father grew increasingly each day. What have we done? How could we be so damn horrible?
The only reason I didn’t tell Tyrion the truth about Tysha was because I didn’t know how he would react. We were in an enemy camp, and I knew how men could act when feeling take control of them. Telling Tyrion the truth now would put him in danger. But I knew it was only an excuse. I was good at finding excuses for my actions.
If the plan works, I will tell him the truth once we escape. Tyrion had but great work in getting familiar with the guards and outdrinking them. He said he had already secured a horse and weapon for me. We only need to wait for a perfect moment to execute the plan. A storm would be the best, but if we aren’t lucky enough to get one, we would have to wait until the guards let their guard down the most.
I knew that we wouldn’t be lucky. I don’t deserve it, and part of me hoped Tyrion would give up and leave me. Then Tyrion would risk his life for me, and I wouldn’t have to tell him the truth and would die with it. So, now I started to dread the night as it came. I wished that it wasn’t this night that Tyrion would have to be forced to abandon me.
Yet, gods have cursed me. As I was thrown into the cage again, I looked at the darkening sky. The clouds were gathering above us. But it was the thunder I heard, but a horn as it was blown. I didn’t know what was happening but saw men readying themselves. Arming themselves with weapons and abandoning their posts. Soon, I heard battle raging but couldn’t understand what was happening.
One guard was left near me. And he looked nervous, probably not knowing what was going on either. He tightly gripped his sword handle as he looked at the sound of fighting. I knew that if I said anything, he would lash out at me. But I didn’t have an opportunity to test my theory as a bolt pierced his head, and he dropped dead near my cage.
“We are going, Jaime,” Tyrion emerged from the darkness again and went to the cage's lock.
“Where did you get the keys?” I asked as Tyrion unlocked the cage.
“I had them for five days now,” Tyrion replied, smiling as he opened the cage and cut the binds holding me. “I got you a chainmail, a cloak, and a longsword. We have to hurry. Pod is waiting for us by the horses.”
“What is going on?” I asked as another horn was blown.
“I don’t know,” Tyrion replied as I quickly changed the rags I was into the chainmail and covered myself in a cloak. “Whatever it is, we must leave; this is our only chance.”
The camp was in chaos. Nobody had time to interfere with us as every camp follower was panicking, too. We managed to reach our horses, and nobody was here to stop us from leaving. As Tyrion sighed in relief, we left the camp and were about to leave them behind us. We had to stop and stare at the battle before us.
“What are they?” Podrick asked with a shaking voice.
“Those are elephants, Pod,” Tyrion replied, barely managing to close his mouth in shock. “More precisely, war elephants.”
“It can’t be,” I could barely hold back my shock as I saw the army's banner opposing Stannis. “It just can’t be.”
“I will be damn,” Tyrion agreed with me. “I heard Daenerys had dragons, but war elephants weren’t bad either. Anyway, let’s go. If Stannis doesn’t catch us, getting caught by Targaryens would be the worse fate.”
I could only listen to Tyrion as we rode off. We blended well with everyone else retreating. We didn’t have the luxury to think if Stannis would manage to defend himself against the new army emerging from nowhere, but even if he lost, would it change much? The Riverlands and the Vale will probably join them, since they wouldn’t want to come under the Iron Throne while a Lannister sat on it.
…
Full day and full night of riding not only tired us, but our horses too. It was all good, though, as we managed to leave Stannis camp far behind, and it didn’t seem like anyone was chasing us. We managed to find a nice place between the roads to Kingswood and Summerhall. Once we set our campfire, we could finally take a rest.
“Whatever happened back there, at least we are safe now,” Tyrion said as he took food and drinks from his bag. “Let’s rest up and have a drink or two.”
As the horses rested, we drank and ate. But rather than drinking out of celebration, I drank out of nervousness. I needed that extra courage as I prepared to tell Tyrion the truth. I knew I had to start talking as the last wine was gone. It was now or never, but I knew how Tyrion would react, and no matter what he did to me, I would have to accept it.
“Tyrion,” I said, my voice was probably trembling. “I have to tell you something.”
“Can’t it wait tomorrow?” Tyrion asked as he found a nice place to sleep.
“It can’t be,” I had to be firm. “It is about Tysha.”
“Tysha?” Tyrion had his full attention on me now. “What about her?”
“She was no whore. I never bought her for you. That was a lie that Father commanded me to tell. She was what she seemed to be. A crofter's daughter, chance met on the road.”
“My wife," Tyrion’s voice broke with each word. “She wed me. She loved me.”
“For your gold, Father said. She was lowborn. You were a Lannister of Casterly Rock. All she wanted was gold, which made her no different from a whore,” In the end, I was a coward and looked for an excuse like I always did. “So, it would not be a lie, not truly. He said that you required a sharp lesson. That you would learn from it and thank me later.”
“Thank you?” Tyrion's voice was choked, and I could only look at the ground, too afraid to look at his eyes. “He gave her to his guards. A barracks full of guards. HE MADE ME WATCH! And more than watch. I took her too. My wife.”
“I never knew he would do that. You must believe me.”
“Must I?” I didn’t need to look at him to know how he felt. “Why should I believe you about anything, ever? SHE WAS MY WIFE!”
“Tyrion, I…” Why was I such a coward? Why must I seek excuses like a little boy? Why couldn’t I just say I am sorry?
“Enough!” Tyrion yelled in anger. “Go to sleep. It is good that we won’t see each other anymore soon enough.”
The greatest swordsman in the known world? What a bullshit. I no better than my father, than Joffrey. A coward that can’t own up to his own mistakes. A coward who is too afraid to even look at his little brother. No, I don’t deserve to be called a brother. While Tyrion saved me, I betrayed him. I was the worst.
…
It didn’t take long for Tyrion words to come true. When I woke up from the sleepless night, I was alone. Only my cloak and sword was left behind. Tyrion has left me, even taking my horse. I deserved worse, and part of me hoped that Tyrion would kill me in my sleep. At least then I would have to feel his crushing pain in my chest.
