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What is dead may never die (Chapter 87)
🕑 Added 2023-09-03 13:40:29 +0000 UTCBeyond the vows
Jon POV
Robb stared at me as the light from the candles flickered. It was from the surprise of me defending the enemies of the North or simply from questioning him that Robb stayed silent. He took the bottle of wine and poured it into his cup. He drank it all, slamming the empty cup at the table. The cup shattered at the impact.
“What do you want me to do!?” I never heard Robb yell so hard. “Spare them? Send them back to where they came from? So, what if I can’t stare at their eyes as they would be executed? It must be done, and as the King, I will do it.”
“There is another path we could take,” I didn’t back off.
“What? Tell me what else I should do, as you know it all.”
“Gave them a chance. Spare those who are willing to kneel and swear their loyalty to you,” I said.
“You think they will keep their vows?” Robb asked. “I was in the south, and none so honorable knights or lords give a damn about their vows. There is no honor. They will break their oaths when I turn my back to them.”
“I rode with them, Robb,” I said. “They have honor, their honor. But they have it.”
“It isn’t honor that moves people, Jon. It’s fear.”
“Fear only breeds hatred,” I replied, not backing off from his cold eyes. “But even so, they take their children as hostages to keep them in line. But there is no need to kill them all. The wall needs men. It would be best if you had men for your armies. The free folk are great warriors. They can be of use.”
“Hahaha!” Robb laughed like a madman. “It has been a long time since someone talked back to me like this.”
“Someone had to shake some since your thick skull,” I replied.
“You are right,” Robb relaxed in his seat. “There is no way I wouldn’t regret killing them. Women and children among them. Nightmares would haunt me for the rest of my life. Sometimes, it is hard to follow our father’s teachings. The responsibility is crushing me.”
“Settle the women and the children in the Gift,” I said. “There are dozens of keeps along the wall. They need to be repaired and manned by someone.”
“Your brothers would be mad about your thoughts. My lords will certainly be.”
“They will listen to their king.”
“But will the wildlings?” Robb asked. “I would need someone to be responsible for them. Someone to watch them so they wouldn’t get off the line. I need you to do it.”
“Me?”
“You are the only one I can trust to do this. If I put any of my lords in charge, they will only find reason to punish them unjustly. They would never be able to see them as people of the North. The injustice among them will only breed difference. We will start to fear for what they might do given a chance, and that fear will turn into hatred.”
“I am a man of Night’s Watch, Robb,” I said.
“You are my brother,” Robb replied. “You are a Stark, and I need you, Jon. I need you to disagree with me, to punch me when I do something stupid.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I will give you the Gift,” Robb put his hand on my shoulder. “You will take the name of the Stark. You will be lord and my Hand.”
“I can’t do something like this,” I replied. “I have said my vows. I am a man of the Night's Watch.”
“Who will stop you from leaving if I say so?” Robb asked. “The Night Watch is gone, a husk of what it has been a long time ago. Nobody cares about them but the North. Times are changing, so we must change too. If you want to save the wildlings from the wrath of the North, you need to break your vows. It is a small sacrifice for tens of thousands of people.”
The hand on my shoulder became heavier, and my leg flared with pain. I grimaced in pain. Robb took his hand back and looked at me in concern. I didn’t look at Robb. He was asking too much of me. I would need to forswear my vows again. This time, it wouldn’t be a ruse. But Robb was right. Who could rule over the free folk justly if it isn't me?
“Lord Umber will try to shout me out of this,” Robb said. “Lord Bolton will use it against me one day. I could probably placate Lord Karstark by taking his daughter as my wife. But if you take my offer, will the other lords trust me? They will trust a Stark watching over the wildlings so they don’t do anything that would harm us.”
“I have no other choice, do I?”
I could see that Robb wouldn’t accept any for the answer. Sacrificing my honor for tens of thousands of people was a small price to pay. People will curse me. They will call me a turncoat, as many have already called. But I had to do it for Robb, the North, and the free folk. I nodded to Robb in agreement.
…
The wound on my shoulder was healing well. Only a scar was left now. But the wound in my leg was deeper. Maester Aemon took good care of it, but healing would take longer. But it wasn’t the wounds that troubled me. It was my thoughts that plagued me and tormented me. I was worried about my brother, the free folk, and the Wall.
“What doubts bother you so much, Jon?” Maester Aemon asked.
“I have to forswear my vows to protect the free folk. I have to betray the Night’s Watch.” I confessed and told him what I had talked about with Robb.
“Many would take such an offer in a heartbeat.”
“I have already betrayed my vows once. I betrayed them for love, and then I betrayed that love for honor,” I said. “And now I have to betray my honor. What will I have left after that?”
“Kindness, you would be left with kindness, Jon,” Maester Aemon replied while changing my bandages. “Only you would sacrifice yourself for people you barely know. It takes courage, but most importantly, kindness.”
“But kindness won’t protect them for long,” I said. “I might have to betray it too until I am nothing but a husk of a man without honor, love, or anything. Then what would I be?”
“Jon Stark,” Aemon replied. “A man who gave himself for people around him. Before you came to the Wall, you were nothing but a boy. You were filled with foolishness and idolization. Not able to see what was before him and blindly running to danger. But now I know that you are a man ready to do everything he has to protect the people around you.”
I wish it were true. But his words did ease me a bit. I have a purpose, and even if I become an oathbreaker, I will not betray all the vows I made before a heart tree. I will protect the realm of men. I will still be a sword in the darkness. My watch will not end until I die. That was the only way to protect everybody.
…
The dungeons were full of prisoners, locked under the iron bars. Free folk looked at me as I passed them. Light from the torches illuminated the dark cells. I approached the end of the dungeon, where a lone man stayed. Mance Ryder looked at me as if he wanted to kill me. I couldn’t blame him. He was defeated partly because he chose to trust me.
“Did a crow have come to see me to the block?” Mance asked.
“It might not come to it if you listen to my words,” I said.
“Where is Dalia?” Mance asked.
“Under the care of our Maester,” I answered. “She is under good hands.”
“That will be until you hear my answer, isn’t that right, crow?”
“You have two choices,” I said. “The King of the North kills you all, or you surrender.”
“We are no kneelers.”
“And you are no dead man,” I replied. “But that can change with your decision. You will not be given another chance. Kneel before the King and live.”
“I seen your King before,” Mance said. “A boy no older than you. Do you think he can rule over us? We might kneel to him now, but he does not know us. Does not understand us. He won’t be able to rule over us, order us. Then, he will see us as a liability and get rid of us. So, tell me, crow, why should we not die now with our dignity still intact?”
“Robb might not know you,” I replied. “But I do. I know that under the savage facade, the free folk has honor. I know that you can be reasoned with, even if you first need to beat you down for you to listen. Robb gave you a chance to live and serve so we could fight another day together.”
“Together?” Mance asked.
“The King of the North shall name me the lord of the Gift, and it will give it to us,” I said.
“That is if I agree.”
“No, even if you don’t agree, many would,” I said. “Many who would choose to kneel than die. But I want you to be one of them, for I will need you. I need you to watch over your people because the King won’t give us another chance. One fuck up, and all of the free folk will be dead.”
“What of my wife, my child?” Mance asked.
“Your child will be raised in Winterfell,” I answered.
Mance's gaze remained fixed on mine, his eyes a mix of skepticism and curiosity. He was a proud man, a leader of his people, and he knew that bending the knee would not come easy to him. But he also understood the stakes. But so did I. Mance was the King beyond the Wall for a reason. He knew how to get free folk to listen to him, and I needed him.
“Ah, I see,” Mance walked up to the bars and looked at my eyes. “So, what do I need to do, my lord.”
…
Sam was reading with few candles, barely keeping the room illuminated. It wasn’t difficult to find him. Apart from tending to the injured and helping Maester Aemon, he would close himself into this room and read until he fell asleep. I told him what had happened between me and my brother, about the deal and Mance's agreement. He felt happy for me, but I wanted him to curse me for betraying the vows we swore together.
“I saw them, Jon,” Sam said. “I saw the army of the dead. No vows are going to defeat them. And word has reached that Bowen March is at Shadow Tower, injured. We have no men, Jon. No weapons, no resources. The Wall is getting emptier each day while the army of the dead is growing. We need help from outside. We need your brother’s support and the wildling men for the war.”
“I know, Sam, I know,” I replied. “Tomorrow, Robb will announce it to the rest. The day after tomorrow, I will leave with Robb to settle the Gift. Most of his men will sail back with the Manderly fleet from Eastwatch.”
“Can you ask your brother to send more books from Winterfell?” Sam asked. “The books here are old, and most crumble with touch. It will be hard to find anything about the Others with only these books.”
“I will,” I said. “I tell him to bring all our books to the Wall.”
“Can you look after Gilly and her son for me, Jon?”
“They will be fed and taken care of,” I said. “Worry about yourself. I better not hear you getting beaten up without me here to protect you. And take a break from reading once in a while.”
“I was useless,” Sam muttered. “When the fighting started, I hid with children. I couldn’t do anything but wait for someone to come and tell me that the fighting was over.”
“The traps you thought of when Thenns attacked weren’t useless,” I patted his shoulder. “You have a brilliant mind, Sam. I am sure you will find a way to defeat the dead. We are counting on you.”
