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The Redfish (Edmure SI) chapter 105
🕑 Added 2023-08-11 15:09:01 +0000 UTCCold Hands
Jaime POV
This night was the coldest I have experienced in my life. But it was fine, and it was the day I would die anyway. Yet I couldn’t stop now. Even when I felt dozens of cuts on my body, I held my shield high and continued to cut a path through the dead. Even if it was for a few more minutes, I needed to buy more time for Robb to escape. He must survive for at least that will give some worth to my life.
I didn’t know how long I was at it, but I found myself in the clearing at some point. I was free of the dead trying to kill me and continued moving forward. I didn’t know what else to do at this point, I could feel my wounds freeze in the cold, but it didn’t help with pain as much as it helped me not to bleed out. One step after another, I walked forward.
Did they retreat or just run past me? I didn’t know, but then I saw the sun rising before me. As the light washed over me and I felt the warmth of it on my skin, I leaned on the pine tree for support and smiled. I have succeeded. I lasted till dawn. I bought enough time. Yet I was still alive, and my smile fell. What should I do now?
Checking on my wounds, I found them not to be that deep, so it wouldn’t be a problem to patch myself up. But what then? Where do I go? Should I just lay here and die from the cold? No, I was still alive, so I needed to fight. Robb might have escaped, but it didn’t mean the dead won’t come for him again. I had to do everything I could to keep them from reaching Robb.
I returned to our camp that was abandoned. None of the northmen nor men of the Night’s Watch were here. Neither were there any dead, no lying on the ground nor walking ones. The Others were already here taking what they needed, our dead bodies, and left. Still, tents and some supplies were left untouched—at least that of what wasn’t burned. I could trace a path from one wall to the other wall of burned tents. Yet the outskirts were left unscathed.
I ransacked everything I could find. A new coat that wasn’t ripped and torn to parts. Some medicine to treat my wounds, and food with water. I got myself a new sword and found dragonglass blades to spare. After taking a longbow with a few quivers of arrows with dragonglass arrowheads, I found animal fat that I could use and a flint. I left because I had taken everything that could be useful and couldn’t carry anything more.
Maybe some strangler that managed to hide himself from the dead will stumble on the camp and find something useful to them. Either way, I had work to do. I couldn’t let the dead come closer to Robb or his army, so I needed to follow them. But I had no idea where they would go, so I only had one option, follow the dead.
The wights were mindless walking corpses. Dealing with them wouldn’t be challenging without the Others to guide them. If I could get ahead of them and set the forest before them on fire, I would probably manage to take quite a few of them. But it wouldn’t be that easy. I could only hope to catch up to them and slow them down for Robb to achieve his goal.
I was a lone man. I was the only one crazy enough not to care about his death. The rest who survived the night probably regrouped with Robb, ran away back to the Wall, or went into hiding. There won’t be any help for me, nor would I ask anyone to do what I will try to do. After bandaging my wounds and eating a light meal of bread and water, I walked in the direction where burned-dead bodies were seen.
…
I tried to follow the army of the dead, but they were gone. The whole day I spent searching for them, following tracts left by them. At some point, it seemed like all their tracks had disappeared. I went deep into the forest, taking in the signs of fighting and separated limbs, blood splatters, or discarded weapons, but they all disappeared at some point.
Did everything was covered by the snow? I didn’t know, but now I was lost. I could only continue on the path and pray that I would be lucky to find them before they found me. But as the night came closer, I got tired. My wounds still hurt, and my muscles protested with every step. Was I too reckless in trying to find them without any rest? Probably, but I didn’t care.
Just as I was about to lose hope, I saw the murder of ravens fly in one direction. I followed them with my eyes and noticed dark clouds of a storm in that direction. The clouds were similar to the ones I saw last night when we were attacked. I followed the clouds because I had no other way to go. When I reached them, the sun was already started to set.
But it didn’t matter as I found signs of the wights in the haunted forest, under a dense patch of trees. I smiled and started making torches. Maybe because they hated the sun or something, they were using storm clouds and trees to hide under. So, I wasn’t surprised to hear countless dead walking through this part of the forest.
I quickly flanked them before they noticed me. It was the perfect time to die. I would burn them in the forest. Because of the cold and the snow, I didn’t think a fire would spread too much. But if I used the animal fat well, I should manage to burn at least this part of the forest, taking at least a few hundred dead with me. Tyrion would probably manage to take down few thousand, but I wasn’t smart as he, so I had to work with what I had.
When I found a particularly dry wood, I started my plan. It didn’t take long for them to see me once I began to splash animal fat around them. I knew I wouldn’t have much time once they saw me, so when the first wight came to me, I pinned it down and quickly lit up my torch with the flint. Then I set the first wight coming to me and pushed him into the dry wood I splashed with animal fat.
It was only the beginning as the fire lit up behind me. Using my shield, I blocked most of the attacks from the wights, and with my torch, I set them on fire before pushing them around. It didn’t take long before more than I can count wights came to me. Rushing to kill me, but it was what I wanted. The more came, the more burned. Soon, everything around me burned.
I almost laughed as the fire came to me. I would be burned alive with them, but it was fine. They would be turned to ashes while they tried to get to me. I was a perfect bait. Yet, everything turned around when a wind picked up, and the cold suppressed the fire. My smile was gone as I looked up at the White Walker walking through the fire as it disappeared with its every step.
Of course, it wouldn’t go as I wished. Nothing in my life went the way I wanted. My actions were always undone by forces beyond me and rendered me useless. I threw away my shield at sight before me, took out two dragonglass daggers, and readied myself to face the monster. I could see amusement in the cold blue eyes of the White Walker as he lifted his ice weapon.
With my plan failed, I leaped at my enemy with fury I didn’t know I possessed. Of course, my opponent wouldn‘t fall so easily. It moved elegantly, deflecting my attacks with ease and precise swordsmanship. My dragonglass blades shipped with every strike, and I could tell they would break soon. I needed to get closer to the monster for my dragonglass to reach him, so I came to one conclusion.
Instead of dodging a slash across my chest, I went in. I let the cold blade cut deep into me as I fell on the monster and hugged it. Before it could retaliate, I stabbed the dragonglass daggers into his back. The monster melted before me, and the wight went crazy. I smiled, and with all my strength, I found my torch. My hands trembled as I used flint on the last of the animal fat I had to light up my torch.
I struck my torch at the approaching wights. I knew I couldn‘t set up a forest fire now, but it didn‘t stop me from trying. As they burned, I pushed the wights into bushes and fallen branches, but I was overwhelmed soon enough. In the end, I had to let go of my torch as I was tackled to the ground. Defenseless and tired, I felt as blades sunk into my body. This was the end of me.
Or it would if a mad moose didn‘t run through the wights, knocking them away from me. I didn‘t know what came upon me, but I grabbed the moose's fur and lifted myself. I thought the animal would knock me away, but the moose lowered itself to let me mount it. Once I was on the moose, the animal bolted away, carrying me.
At this point, I felt delirious. I thought I was dreaming as I rode the moose through the forest. Tyrion would laugh if he heard it. It didn‘t matter much anyway. I could feel pain in my chest. They were my last moments, even if I was dreaming. I was fine with it. After all, that was what I wished for, to die alone on my last mission.
...
“You are useless,” I heard my father’s voice in the dark. Was I still dreaming, or was I already dead? I didn’t know. “Like always, you have disappointed me. I had high expectations for you, but every time you found a way to disappoint me. Wasn’t it enough to disregard my wishes and become a Kingsguard? You just had to surrender and look at what you become.”
“I am who I am,” I replied to him. “I am a man of the Night’s Watch. I serve to protect men of all realms.”
“You are a disgrace!” Lord Tywin yelled out. “You were a Lannister, the heir to Casterly Rock! You have thrown away your birthright, your legacy, for what? To hide behind the Wall like a common criminal?”
“Heh,” Jaime chuckled. “I've been living a lie, Father. My oath to protect the king turned into something monstrous. In the end, it didn’t matter who I was. I've done terrible things. I killed the Mad King. I've lost my honor. But it was just a start. I am a criminal, even if I am not a common criminal. All I can ask now is redemption.”
“Brother, my love. Why have you left me?” My father's voice was replaced by Cersei’s. “You abandoned me, left me for these savages to do as they wished with me. You're a fool, Jaime. You have thrown away everything we had for some misguided sense of honor. Do you think they'll forgive you? Do you think you can wash your hands of your past?”
“No,” I said. “Cersei, I can't ignore the things I've done. I can't keep living in denial. I must find a way to redeem myself, even leaving everything behind. I am sorry for leaving you behind. For what it is worth, I loved you. But it has to come to an end.”
“A traitor!” Joffrey’s screams engulfed me next. “You should have killed that wolf bastard, not save him. It is your fault that we lost. Death won’t be enough punishment for your failure or betrayal! You have to die thousands of times before thinking of redeeming yourself.”
“For once, you are right, Joffrey,” I agreed. “I deserved thousands of deaths to be forgiven for my actions. I am sorry I wasn’t here for you. I should have guided you from the time you were little. Maybe then things wouldn’t have gone so wrong. And I should have been with you when you were dying. I am sorry, son, for failing you as your father.”
…
I don’t know how much time has passed or where I was. But it was dark, everything in me hurt, and I felt weak. But I knew to my dismay, that I wasn’t dead. I heard light footsteps around me. I couldn’t move but felt some sticky substance covering my wounds. What surprised me most was that it wasn’t as cold as it should be.
“He is awake,” I heard soft voices around me. “Bloodraven wishes to see him.”
Somehow, I got used to the darkness and saw shadows of small creatures. I couldn’t move, but the creatures didn’t want to harm me. They walked around me and spoke in soft voices. It looked like they knew I could hear them, so they spoke just loud enough for me to hear and understand them. I felt as little arms took my armpits and dragged me to a broader place.
I could tell that I was in some cave. But it was impossible to tell how deep he was in the cave or where the cave was. Before long, I was placed on the ground near the roots of a tree. I followed the roots up, and my gaze quickly found an enigmatic figure. It was an old man merged with what looked like a weirwood tree.
“Who, no, what are you?” I asked as our eyes met.
“I had many names and titles,” The old man spoke. “But you should know me as Brynden River, Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch. But I was known as Bloodraven too.”
“That impossible,” Was the only thing I could say.
“After all you have seen, you think something like this is impossible?” The old man asked. “Anyway, I think you are more interested in why you are here. You have been brought here for a purpose, Jaime Lannister. The Children have seen your potential, your strength of will.”
“Children?”
I followed Bloodraven’s gaze to the shadows and saw creatures smaller than humans but unlike children. They had nut-brown skin, dappled like a deer's with paler spots. Their hands had only three fingers and a thumb, with sharp black claws instead of nails. I could make out large gold and green eyes slit like those of a cat.
“Children of the Forest,” Bloodraven said.
“Why am I here? What can I offer you?” I asked, looking at my broken body that I couldn’t move.
“Redemption, perhaps. A chance to serve a greater cause,” The Children of the Forest began to chant softly, a melodic rhythm at Bloodraven’s words.
“We will give him a new purpose, a new life,” I heard soft words behind me.
“You will no longer be fully human, Jaime Lannister. You will serve as a guardian of the realms of men, a sentinel against the darkness that threatens to encroach,” Bloodraven said. “That is if you agree to it. But remember, once words are given, they can’t be taken back. You won’t die, but you shall suffer. You serve for eternity.”
“I agree,” I said without hesitation. “I will protect human realms for eternity to come.”
If it will bring me redemption for what I have done, I see no issues with agreeing. Tyrion would have smacked my head for agreeing on something I had no knowledge about. Yet I didn’t regret it even as I felt my body start to change as the Children of the Forest chanted something I couldn’t understand. The wounds that had plagued me began to mend. My skin turned pale, almost icy hue.
“You are a new creation, a fusion of the past and the present. You are Coldhands, a protector and a sentinel beyond the Wall.”
