juimon
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brief lil update
🕑 Added 2022-02-18 02:41:30 +0000 UTCAllow me a moment to express some of the anxious mess my brain has been this week.
So! The FOTP was great, was grand, was amazing! But naturally.... tiring. And then the day after my body decides to throw me another stressor!!! I got me some ***more*** tit lumps. Great. So I'm turning 30 this months and breast cysts are uncommon apparently for people under 40. But there's my tit, full of cysts!!!
Naturally, I doubt that this is cancer, but today I'm getting the third exam this week, in which they are taking biopsies (yum!) and I'm overall just very tired of having strangers fondle my tits.
I was hospitalised in 2020 for a tit lump that became hecking infected, it was Highly Not Good. And the fear that I will be hospitalised for this has left me anxious, existential, and distracted. I've done precious little work or drawing this week and have been doing all of the procrastination I can do.
My mind likes to play out every possible scenario in these circumstances, so naturally I've been freaking out over possible cancer, infection, all the *worst case stuff* but now, an hour away from getting my tit jabbed with needles, I'm mostly just cross that I've got to pay for this cancer screening that is going to come up negative anyway.
I am very tired, very frustrated, and very keen to just hide until I finally get that negative.
In happier news, I finally sent out patron letters yesterday. There's 7 patrons who (are above the $5 tier and have supplied their addresses(I'm looking at the few of you who haven't and I would like for you to gimme so I can send you my deranged scribblings)), which is really encouraging growth for me!!!
Love, and here's to our bodies being conduits of chaos in our lives!
πHelen
