SalemAudio
patreon
hey everybody!
🕑 Added 2025-01-30 21:47:14 +0000 UTCthe tldr; i am very mentally ill right now (if you follow me on twitter. you have almost certainly guessed this ππ) but i am getting better!! i will not be able to keep up with early access audios or patreon exclusives for an indefinite and possibly permanent period of time. my patreon will exist solely as a manner to support me in helping me continue to do this as I post audios publicly to Reddit or Youtube as is appropriate for the content.
this is so fucking long i'm sorry ππ
i've offered (or will soon be contacting to offer) a personal explanation to those who it is pertinent to! and while i try to avoid any sort of bias towards those who support me financially not out of a lack of appreciation, but simply because it feels inconsiderate to those who may want to but don't have the means, i do think the support warrants some detail on my situation as it affects how I will operate here!
over the past few years, my mental health has severely degraded. i have a good support system that includes professional support, i have had largely successful and positive experiences with medication, and the 'negative' effects of my more recent diagnosis are well managed for the most part.
there are certain dysfunctions related to focus, executive dysfunction, time management that I did not have to deal with in the years prior, and identifying those issues in the first place was an issue and realizing they were going to be persistent took even longer. the bulk of what I am figuring out at this point is the remaining unmanaged issues and medication side effects and how to live with them.
as i said, I will have to live and operate differently in most areas of my life because of this situation, to be frank! as one example, there was a point I was leaving my house once a month, and a couple months where I don't believe I was able to do even that. This isn't a plea for sympathy, nor an excuse, but just a clear explanation of the severity and hopefully provides clarity on the why's of how my patreon will operate moving forward-
some creators manage schedules very well, they have a weekly date with which their early access audios go out, a date they go public, consistent patreon exclusive audios, and I think all of you deserve that for the support you provide me. I cannot provide it, it seems, as hard as i've tried! if you do not feel you would like to continue your support without any immediate benefits, that is ENTIRELY understandable, as it will function solely as a method of support for my long term ability to make what silly stuff i do.
i don't want to follow up with this as a type of guilt tripping, just well deserved appreciation. i literally would not be able to do this without all of you, because as infrequently as I upload, I LOVE doing this. I think about it every day and I worry about the idea of ever having to stop doing it. I enjoy learning about all the technicalities of microphones, I love getting online every day and typing in "m4a asmr" and sorting by new to see the latest stuff!
I love learning to like my voice and hoping to help other people like theirs, I love making content that fills a void I want, and getting to feel connected with people who are kind enough to comment and spend their time with that work and find something in it that we can share, whether its something intimate or platonic or silly or primal.
I'm bad with personal connections, and I can't handle very many, so small gestures of humanity and connection, even if very distant, are meaningful to me. I'm often not able to return the energy others give me, and I've had to put myself in a walled garden for my own sanity lately that's intensified that.
i always explain it as.... there's very little of me, and the more i put into one thing, the less i have for another, and that's very impactful when you don't start with much. the more i give in personal connection, the less i have to give to my audios. and again, i literally would not be able to manage having a job and making audios, and I say that from experience. I don't really know how to do anything casually, and I don't have the energy for more than one thing, so my life tends to center around one thing- its been a hobby, its been work, its been college, and now its... I guess, my job again, and also my hobby?
I've always found it very hard to be just salem, and not Salemβ’ while i've been a creator, so again. i don't really want sympathy, I don't think it's helpful nor necessary for me here, I don't feel bad, I just want to be more open! I want to share this stuff because honestly, it's been very hard getting through some of this it. and, maybe, some of you are going through some hard things too! The world is pretty hard right now, and while I am not All Good and situations externally are.... well. as they are. I guess I'd like people to have some connection in knowing they're not struggling alone, as cliche as that sounds. I'm not comfortable sharing some things that I would like to share, eventually, because despite my discomfort, I think its bad to talk about mental health issues without talking about the grimy and difficult and ugly parts of it, I don't want to share a sanitized experience and risk others feeling like they're a freak for experiencing things they haven't heard others talk about. If some of my newer videos seem extremely niche; that's why!
Now, all of this rambling will not matter to 95% of people, they are concerned with the audios first and foremost, and that's the nature of makin stuff on the internet. That's okay! I have never expected anything more and always appreciated whatever time or consideration people give to what i've made.
Love you guys even if it seems like its from very far away!!
(jesus christ i can yap huh)
salem
Comments
woovf
big big love to you salem you've gotten me through some pretty rough times so i hope we can help get you through yours β€οΈ
Horizen
I've been listening to your audios for years (I'm probably half of the views on the werewolf spa video lol) and I wanted to thank you. Your videos have been there as a source of comfort through the worst years of my life, and one of the few constants I had. I know how hard existing on its own can be, especially with mental illnesses. Thank you for being there to provide safety and comfort to a boy who lost his whole world in just 2 years. I'm just a stranger on the internet, but you've definitely had an impact on my life. If I get into making ASMR soon like I hope to, just know that you were the inspiration. Be well Salem β€οΈ
Ryan Caron
I really believe in the patronage model of support, and am so happy to continue to participate in my small way. IMO patronage is not conditional, not transactional or an exchange; it's contributing (investing?) in your work and practice. I really love to study the social structure that, historically, lead to great artistic movements; Noh theatre, Italian Rennessance art, French ballet, and European portraiture became fully realized in large part because amazing artists were paid to exist and do their thing. I think we gotta do that now, just without the weird classist "here is my pet court artist" paternalism dynamic (only the fun egalitarian pet play) Tldr; Patreon and patronage needn't be fee for service/product; your existence is enough :)
PikaSquish
I honestly started crying about 2/3 of the way through reading this... Ever since you started dropping hints on Twitter about your mental health, I couldn't help but worry pretty frequently if you were doing alright I'm just so happy and relieved that you feel things are starting to get better <3 And I hope with my entire being that things KEEP improving You've made such a positive impact on my life, Salem - that's just a fact And hey, don't worry too much about how long this was since...well... (gestures at the mountain load of how much I left in the DMs) I tend to yap too as you know by now...and considering everything you've been going through, I feel a bit guilty of how much I was sending... 100% goes without saying, but PLEASE don't worry about getting back to anything that's in there... I'd rather you focus on healing first above all else. Especially since a lot of what's in there is half me ranting about things, the other half was sending well wishes previous times! Sending you all the love and best wishes I can muster π May this year bring happiness and healing to you, my friend~
Fluffy Kitsune
you're what inspired me to make content so imma stay supporting ya. life can be rough and shit can get weird, but i hope in the end, ya make it through all right!
Vanta
I am terrible with words but simply i hope everything goes good with you soon. You have been the reason i have been able to sleep at night for the last couple years so much love and i wish you the best whether or not you ever upload again β€οΈ
Tarku
My heart goes out to you Salem, regardless of the path your life takes you in I'll continue to support you for as long as I am able because you have given endless hours of restful sleep to a chronic insomniac. π
The Ace Axolotl
Glad you have a support system in place! Take care of yourself and all that shiz. I care more about you learning to better self-regulate than I do getting to see Youβ’οΈ through your content. (I wish I could conquer/cope with my executive dysfunction.)
era
ty for the update salem! you're one of my favourite creators online--no matter how frequently or infrequently you post (i've definitely broken into the triple digits on how many times I've listened to some of your audios by now) and i'm sure i speak for a lot of folks here when i say that i'm very glad you are taking care of yourself first and foremost <3
SoulReaper
You are my favourite creator and I support you because you've impacted me in so many ways, through tarot cards and aesthetics and also learning to love my voice and my style more myself, and because your audios are always fun and your voice itself is probably my absolute favourite. I'll always be here to support you and I wish you only the best on your journey
Alexa Wiegerova
We love you, and you have made so many people feel comfort that they maybe couldnβt get elsewhere. And you deserve to be happy, content, and especially healthy because that is number 1 β€οΈβ¨
Woozle
They live! I'm glad you have good supports and are working toward stability. It takes a lot of energy to figure out lifestyle changes and meds, so good on you for pushing forward. Your voice and the stories you tell bring me joy, and are frequently what I fall asleep to. That is more than worth the patreon membership regardless of your upload frequency. Absolutely take care of yourself first. I know we don't really know each other, but there's a fellow neurodivergent outside of your little garden cheering you on!
salem
i do also hope, one day, to make an assortment of audios, 10-12, to send out to every single person that has ever supported me, whether it was only for the first month back in.... 2020? or they just joined the month i release it! i'm determined to make it happen at least as some small token for those who may still be interested in it.
salem
somewhat related; if I stream and lose track of thoughts very often (it sometimes doesn't happen for days, then three times in an hour), if you notice ideas being a bit loosely connected in my content, etc, it's nothing to worry about! one of my medications has had a pretty severe impact on my short term memory amongst a few other things, but it has been a BLESSING in the other benefits it has provided that outweigh any negatives by literally any measure i can take of it!
Zuma
We love you no matter what Salem! Best wishes on your self improvement journey! β€οΈ
