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Chapter 215 - Team Guy's Trap and Crisis

🕑 Added 2023-03-06 15:50:55 +0000 UTC

Comments

Altrafry Golden

Can't wait for more "filler" (in quotes because I enjoy it and it doesn't really feel like filler just plot and character development) same with whenever canon comes

Gamer4Life

Its because the seasickness affected his judgment. and when guy realised theres more he called for backup

Al

I'm concerned about Guy, he is supposed to be a solid jonin but no one thought to ask how kany hostages there were

Gamer4Life

I will go through the fight scene again and see if i can understand the problem

Gordon

Hope this helps! Really enjoying the story so far mate!

Gordon

Alot of the fight between the the pirate captain and Guy felt stilted like " Guy punched the captain *monologue*, pirate captain stabs at Guy *monologue* Guy attacks Pirate" it feels like you lose rhythm with the story and then the rest of the chapter just feels like filler dialogue to get us to the end of the flash back

Gamer4Life

can you give me a couple of examples I'll try and improve my writing.

Gordon

Thanks for the chapter! This chapter and some parts of the last chapter felt a bit forced? I can understand why with it being so divergent from Canon but wanted to let you know that you lose a bit of flow and use conversations between characters/monologue to describe events that are occurring which make s it come off a bit flat


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