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Memoirs of a Supervillain - Prologue
🕑 Added 2018-03-29 15:14:41 +0000 UTC As promised, here is the prologue to the new Frozen Soul story, which will be about Iceblade's 'pre-war' years. This will be Patreon Exclusive (because you people made it possible) until I get ready to publish, and then will go up on KU. I'm going to try and get at least one chapter of this one out a week.
Memoirs of a Supervillain
A Frozen Soul Story
Prologue: So You Want to Be a Supervillain?
What is a Supervillain?
Contrary to whatever the latest screed the government or the big hero teams are putting out, we’re not all mass-murdering psychotics who are out to rule the world or whatever crazy cause that might come into our heads. Just like not all ‘heroes’ are the ‘Truth, Justice, and the American Way’ types, like that old-time hero in the movies. There are a lot of types of villains, and you won’t get anywhere, in either the hero or the villain business, unless you get that through your head. You don’t, and you’ll be lucky if you just get knocked out, humiliated, and forced to retire to some island for shame. Depending on who you’re going against, you could wind up dead, or worse. (Yes, there are fates worse than death. No, I’m not talking about dishonor. If you’re very, very lucky, you’ll never find out what I am talking about.)
So, what goes into making a supervillain? Well, as I said, there’s a wide range of villains out there, but if you study them (and anyone in the business, or thinking about joining the business, should be studying them, if only so you know who the competition is), then you’ll notice that there are a few basic trends that you see crop up time and again. None of what I’m going to write about in these memoirs is going to make sense unless you have the proper frame of reference, so here’s a very brief primer on the different types of villains. I’m not talking about powers, if they have any, but personality, background, psychology, all that stuff. What powers they have and where those powers come from tell you what defenses you need and what weapons to bring. That kind of thing tells you very little about what you need in order to fight a supervillain, however.
Might as well start with the thousand-pound gorilla in the room, the Psychos. These are the true psychotics or the sociopaths that everyone hears about on the news. Usually, that’s because they’ve done some insane caper that left massive bodycounts behind them, for no damn reason, or they’re basically glorified serial killers. Contrary to what some will tell you, the Psychos make for godawful contract killers, if only because they don’t have the control necessary to properly plan and execute the true masterworks of assassinations. Either they get sidetracked by the chemical plant they suddenly want to blow up, or their particular brand of crazy finds some way to interfere with the job. Like Talisman, who would always flip a coin before deciding whether or not to shoot someone. Waiting until he got ‘heads’ is why his head is no longer attached to his body.
Whether you’re a hero or another villain, the Psycho is the kind of villain that you’re going to worry about fighting the most, because they have no qualms about collateral damage or doing anything, even blowing themselves up, if it means their goal is achieved. They don’t care about anything except their crazy delusions, so you often see other villains helping heroes take them out, usually when they cross some line that personally affects a villain, like when Miss J killed Diamondback’s lover when she used her nerve gas on that mall. Diamondback literally tore the clown-faced criminal in pieces for killing his boy-toy, and they’d worked together.
Which brings me to the next type, Mercs. As the name implies, they are all about the contract, the money. Some will sell you out the moment someone makes a better offer, and some will be fiercely loyal to the letter and/or the spirit of the contract, but never forget that you are dealing with a hired hand. Some will have a ‘code of honor’, or other such things. I’ve seen men who wouldn’t think twice about gunning down an entire train station of civilians balk at jobs involving children, for instance. The ones who have a code are the most reliable ones, in my opinion. Don’t push them to things that violate your code, and you’ll have an excellent henchman. The ones without a code… eventually, they tend to become Psychos.
The third type of Supervillain is the Zealot. These fuckers are almost as scary as the Psychos (and there is some overlap), because they are utterly dedicated to the Cause. What is the Cause? Doesn’t matter. Could be establishing an Islamic State or a new Christendom. Could be world domination. Could be getting the English out of Ireland. Could be finding a cure for some disease, or extreme environmentalism, or any number of things. What makes these people supervillains is that they are willing to go to Any Means Necessary to accomplish the goals of the Cause, no matter who they have to hurt to do it. Oh sure, the savvier ones may try and limit collateral damage to make themselves look better in the media and gain more support for the cause, but you put them in the driver’s seat of a steamroller and tell them that the only way to accomplish their goals is to squish the line of frightened children laid out in front of them? Nine out of ten will do it, even if they feel bad or say prayers after to honor the ‘sacrifices’.
By far the most harmless type of Supervillain is the Thriller. This is where your villains like PieMan come in. The guy is nuttier than squirrel poo, but he’s basically harmless, since his whole MO is keeping heroes, politicians, and other ‘important people’ from thinking too much of themselves by smacking them in the face with pies, usually on cameral. Almost all thrillers are insane, in some way. What separates them from the Psychos is that any deaths, or even serious injuries, are usually the result of accidents and negligence, rather than purposeful. That means most people tend to look at these guys as a joke, and they can make useful distractions, if you can keep their attention for more than six seconds.
Which brings us to the last kind of villain, the Adventurer. This is really a catchall for ‘everybody else’. They might have a cause, but they aren’t a zealot. They may have their issues, but they’re not a Thriller or Psycho. They may like money, but unlike the Merc, it is a secondary objective. Simply put, they are in it for the ‘thrill of the hunt’, or the challenge, or simply to prove to themselves that they can. This is where your martial arts masters who seek out heroes to prove themselves against are. This is where your ‘noble thieves’, and most professional assassins are, as well.
And it most certainly is the category I fall into as well.
--Iceblade
(November 21, 2016)
