Icymasamune
patreon
All the Donuts: Junked Draft.
🕑 Added 2019-09-10 07:07:50 +0000 UTCI was just going to slide this in with doodles at the end of the month but I thought it was worth talking about.
So this was my first attempt at the patreon illustration poll winner for last month (for the record I aim to try and get both this and second place done if I can). The idea of "Barria stuffing herself with all the donuts in a break room and busting out of her shirt in the process" was immediately my favorite way to interpret the prompt of her busting out of a office outfit in from of Kat.
I like the scene idea a bunch but this version doesn't work: there is a lot of issues with pose and composition, Barria's face and posture are kind of a mess, and I really don't think the shapes look right. The composition feels cramped and a little jumbled, and I overall think its a really good start but needs to be reworked from the ground up: same scene, different camera position and different poses.
Anyways, I'm also sharing it because even though I try to put unfinished or abandoned drafts into the doodle folder for each month I want to be better about sharing as many of my failures as finished projects when I can. Not everything I start gets finished, and a lot of times I restart or rework something because it's just not coming together right (if you've ever commissioned me you know how prone I am to starting over when something looks bad).
Comments
Ahzi Dahaka
It's super interesting to hear your thoughts on what you find isn't working in a scrapped work, since often it's hard for an artist to see the flaws in the work of someone they consider more skilled. I can definitely see what you mean with Barria's face and pose. I'm also not really seeing the rule of thirds working horizontally in this one--my eyes keep bouncing back and forth. Like Artlover8999 said, the angled background creates visual interest but is also disorienting because it implies Barria herself is at an odd angle that she should be tumbling over in. Basically, as an artist it's really helpful to have a little boost in identifying these kinds of things rather than just taking a more skilled artist's work for granted.
Artlover8999
This looks really really good! That said though, I can definitely see some of the stuff you're talking about in regards to some stuff seeming to be a bit "off". The angle of the background relevant to Barria and Kat is probably the most noticeable, but other than that, I honestly think the whole thing works rather well! Keep up the great work!
GIJ
Promising for sure, you can do eeeet ^^ Kat wants to grab some of Barria's donuts +w+
