RodVonBoche
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Disintegrity 105 remade + 98 HD
🕑 Added 2021-05-28 02:21:08 +0000 UTCI'll post 98 everywhere tomorrow so here it is.
Just the new ones : https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1axdXteUc7pbZZD6PljuDC7JINqTEkRoV?usp=sharing
The comparison folder : https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1rqvbs0AhHkXSvBJQgKu35UspVeCur6CM?usp=sharing
Now, 105 ! This page... was a pain as it turns out. I don't know why but it felt like such a slog to get it done. Maybe because there wasn't anything interesting to change ?
Well anyway, as you can see I moved the last panel of the old 104 in the beginning of this new 105, more or less. Technically I didn't try to copy it, it just ended up looking similar because the purpose is the same : showing Zee reacting to his goof.
Second panels of new 105 is the biggest change otherwise. I still needed a panel to show that Larsen's mouth was filled with cream, which new 104 already kinda showed so now he just licks some more hanging off his face. Cos why not ? It removes the ambiguity of the original 105 where the first panel wasn't too clear about what Larsen was doing. Was he waiting for Zee to splooj everything in his mouth or was he so mad he couldn't move ? I guess the ambiguity had its value back then and gave the page some form of progression but for on, I didn't plan it this way, Larsen was just supposed to look like he's gonna swallow, so it's not ambiguous by design, I was just bad at conveying what I wanted to ! And for two, that ambiguity of wondering how Larsen feels about what's happened was moved one page back, so it's still kinda there. Just earlier.
The old page 105 is one of those where I was smelling my own farts back then, thinking "hey I can draw things without dialogue and let the pictures speak for themselves !" which is not so true anymore because the dialogue was moved from one page to the next. Hell, there's even more dialogue, but I like it better since it looks more obvious that Zee is going silent because he's observing Larsen tasting this gourmet meal dripping from his face instead of Zee being silent for the whole page.
Plus having Zee's reaction going from "oops I done goofed he'll be mad" to the last panel where he obviously understands that Larsen isn't mad makes for a more efficient contrast. Which basically replaces the Larsen ambiguity I spoke of earlier as the way of showing progression through the page, from one emotion to the next.
He's also kinda-it's-not-very-obvious-but-I-don't-care wiping Larsen's face so that I don't have to add the spooge back in the subsequent pages, which were drawn long ago !
I still see some flaw on the page but I don't care enough to fix them, like the exclamation point above larsen's head in the panel where he swallows, it looks like it's his exclamation point when it's Zee's. The "gulp" sound effect doesn't look super readable and it's not placed in a way that flows super well. The background of the last panel still is really rough. There's also the weird-but-I-like-it middles panels first being set to Zee's right then switching to his left on the next panel. I thought it looked cool back then and I still do now but it remains weird.
Anyway ! 10 pages left on Disintegrity ! We're getting close !
Comments
RodVonBoche
Yup, he is. I should have added a panel to show that off but I genuinely didn't know where to fit it so I tried to imply it by having Zee hold his tail... I guess it worked fine enough !
Eldkatten
Oh, and the first panel and that tiny one below form an exclamation mark. Or it could also be a question mark. Very nice details!
Eldkatten
Is Zee using the tuft at the end of his tail to wipe Larsen's face (he grabs it in the first panel and seems to hold it ready-to-wipe in the second)? That's so cute 😊
Diego P
I love Zee's face on the first panel.
matt
definitely helps the flow of things.
