RodVonBoche
patreon
Disintegrity 34 and 122 remake !
🕑 Added 2019-07-14 01:07:22 +0000 UTCLesgo through the changes, some of these are actually pretty substantial this time :
The old 34 isn't a page I ever liked for a few reasons so I'm glad to have fixed some of that. It starts slow with that first panel that's not anywhere near good but not too horrendous either, altho Larsen's head was angled in a weird way and the top of his eyebrow was super thick for some reason... The size of my linework was really inconsistent from line to line, it's nasty.Beside fixing all that, I also changed his expression from 'a bit annoyed' to 'uncomfortable'.
Panel 2-3 have nothing special in their upgrade.
Panel 4 tho was one of the thing that made me dislike the original page. The point of it was to show that Larsen had a boner through his pants but it doesn't really come through . I don't think it's much better in new panel 4 but if you know where to look, there's no confusion to be had, which is why there's a new zoom panel ! It mimics the act of realizing what the fuck is going on ! It's not a cop out to explain a still confusing shot ! It's better than an arrow that points to nothing all that noticeable anyway...
Beside that, I pulled back the camera to show the scene better cos... Zooms are boring. I said it before but I like drawing full bodies now moreso than I did back then. So when I can, I do, this was one where I could, that zoom didn't necessitate that whole portion of the page.
Last change is the removal of the 'it was awkward for everyone'. I remember that I re-drew this once before cos I wasn't happy of how i drew these words back then, but now I remove it altogether... kinda feels like I wasted my time for nothing in retrospect... I removed it because it just ruins the mood. It's there like a fat obnoxious explanation of what the mood is but it doesn't help enhance it in any way, it defuses it. Really, the most awkward thing in there was Larsen's right arm, what the hell is that thing ?
As for 122, there's not much to be said. THe old 122 wasn't too bad at all, just suffering from typical issues. The linework is too thick, it makes adding details too hard, coupled with the fact that Zee's irises were completely black, it was harder to parse his eyes from his hair than necessary. Speaking of, hair were not fluffy enough. His skull is also too round.
So yeah, typical flaws with typical fixes. Which is to say, redoing it all.
In related news, I'll probably start posting these pages publicly soon. I don't think there's a point to keeping it patreon exclusive til it's entirely completed and then posting it slowly everywhere else because I've seen pages I posted solely here (temporarily) being leaked on other website before I could post them myself. I don't really mind that, the leak in itself isn't bothering me but I wouldn't want some other website having the entire comic posted meanwhile only two pages are available on my galleries, it'd be rather insulting to my audience if they're better served my comics by someone else.
So yeah.
Comments
Eldkatten
And in page 122 I'm glad Zee lost this hurt-puppy-look. I mean, yes, he has been hurt by Larsen a zillion times, but as he was strong enough to endure that and still go for it, there was no need for him to get THAT weak in this moment.
Eldkatten
Oops, clicked "Send" too soon. Anyway, what does Zee keep in the side pocket of his pants (panel 4)? Pack of cigarettes? Didn't see him smoke, though.
Eldkatten
Again, great work. I wouldn't agree with "Panel 2-3 have nothing special in their upgrade.", though. In the new version I finally understand Larsen's face in panel 3. It was strange before, not knowing where the face ended and the collar began. Much better now. I miss the "That was akward..." abit, I think it made the panel special and I also found it quite funny. Oh, but it made some space on the right side and only NOW I see that acoustic guitar! Nice touch.
