RodVonBoche
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Disintegrity 53 remake !
🕑 Added 2019-10-23 01:24:35 +0000 UTCSorry for taking so long, it's one page I suffered with. There's nothing left of the old one on this page ! Nothing ! I just didn't feel like there was much of anything worth saving except for the general progression being mostly the same, save for removed panels.
So what are the changes ? Well everything. But more precisely, since some panels are still mostly depicting the same thing :
Zee's head is not seen from profile nanymore in the first panel ! Back then I just didn't really know how to properly draw a head seen from 3/4 of the back. It sometimes ended like this. S'not great. Now We just see Zee's chin so the problem isn't there anymore !
The dialog was changed because that first line was rather worthless. I think i wrote it back then to make sure that readers understood that Larsen's hands were not an issue anymore since it wasn't obvious through visuals. Seems unnecessary tho so bugger it.
I removed the panel where Larsen's ween slowly zips wobbles out of the pants, I figure it wasn't that worthwhile, I'd rather spend the space drawing more of that middle panel where it makes contact with Zee's nose. Even then it's obviously less emphasized given the drawn back angle for a larger view of the scene, the "boop" isn't as clear but again, was that worth the size of that panel originally ? I think NOT. Now it's more screen space to make Zee look cute.
Next panel is mostly depicting the same thing, Zee's expression is just less unhinged than before. It was funny looking if a bit awkward, but that wasn't super sexy. So I just calmed it down.
Next panel is removed ! I didn't hate it but it didn't feel that necessary since I already paired down that previous panel. It used to contrast with how excited Zee was then this panel brought it down to earth but... Meh.
Last panel is just same as old but with better angle, better butt.
Other potentially worthwhile notes : dick looks better !
The panelling makes the page look less charged, less stiff, since some panels are round and there's more blank space to let it breathe. I still think there are some confusing layout with the middle panel (mostly because I wanted Zee's butt to appear in full glory), just like page 52 in fact ! But whatever. It's not enough of a big deal for me to reshape it.
ok bye
Comments
tegirvaru
ps, after more scrutinizing, fuck larsens dick is beautiful. reminds me of someone whose i sucked and just had to savor ut in my mouth. mmm..... uh, sorry. rightio chap, well done ^.-
tegirvaru
i was looking at the first page that you display and reading your changes, lije wtf is he talking about. i knew the scene you were refering to. i usually read everything in email with the one pic, then click after. derp. it looks so good, way cuter and cleaner (in a dirty way of course), better expressions. im totally the type that would squee "im touching larsens dick". i love it ^.^
RodVonBoche
It is Zee's room in a house his parents rents, Dani is a roommate. The poster isn't a reference to anything, it's just there to fill up the room. The disco guy is more a reference to the cover of the album Purgatory Dance Party by Polkadot Cadaver than Jim Travolta, but it's not far off.
RodVonBoche
It's funny you mention the socket cos I honestly never put an iota of thought into what its appearance says about where the story happens !
RodVonBoche
They turned white in the old comics as well, around page 70 or 80 - don't remember precisely. I guess the switch from orange to white was a mistake but it did look better so it stuck to the end of the comic and now in this remake. It also makes his butthole flash more. Good detail to mention, I know, but it's true.
Eldkatten
I was wondering about that car with its headlights on which is visible on page 51 under the arc of Zee's tail (old and new version). I guessed it was a poster, but that particular wall doesn't show much. I had to flip to page 99 to find it again, and indeed there is a poster on the wall saying "MAX" and something like a car. Is it a reference to something real? And does Zee really have a John-Travolta-"Saturday Night Fever"-figurine on his tv? :-D Anyway, whose room is all this happening in? Is it Zee's home or is it the rehearsal room for the band (I mean, Danielle turns up casually later)?
matt
yay less shits more fucks! also - I *just* somehow noticed that zee's balls have gone from pink to white. White feels right.
Eldkatten
I do like Zee's new faces in this page. He looks joyful and excited, while he looked a bit indifferent and crazy in the old version. Very natural now. And the whole page is much clearer now - at least for me, since I had a lot of problems understanding and deciphering the frames. Especially the last panel, never understood what I was supposed to see there. Now I do :-) Oh, and you removed that european-style wall socket in the background. Pity, it felt so familiar ;-)
