RodVonBoche
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Disintegrity 41 remake
🕑 Added 2019-04-16 01:38:32 +0000 UTCAnother page that needed a full redo, nothing was salvageable. There's a lot more of those pages than I originally thought... But hey ! The new one is better in every way since everything there was everything to improve.
Let's go through some of that :
I gave Larsen a much more aggressive face on the first panel cos at that point of the comic, he just stops being a threat and Zee knows it, so even looking as intimidating and barking orders as he does there, it does nothing. I think these faces underline that a lot better than the cutesy anger and the immediate neutral expression in the first two panels.
Speaking of, that second panel looks so god damn awful. It's so obviously broken. Rather than just fixing it tho, I changed the expression for the reasons above, it contrasts better, shows Larsen more taken aback. Plus it's funnier to look at.
The next two panel show Larsen not quite comfortable with Zee yet, which again looks funnier and shows that shit doesn't go from 0 to 100 immediately. (Instead it goes from 0 to 98.)
Not much to say about the last panel except that the old one was awkward in presentation. The new oneis still a bit awkward but fukkit.
Otherwise, the whole page is less cluttered than before. The first three panels being stuck together was fine so I kept it but why is the fourth one also stuck to the second one ? Made no sense, I don't think it was much of a hindrance to read but it looks better with more breathing space. That being said it did give the impression of a quick succession between the shots, I think it's still largely there tho, it just slows down earlier at panel three rather than at the very last panel.
Also the background sees the orange background appear in spots. Back then I wanted to differentiate between the many comics I was making through color coding them so they'd be recognizable at a glance. Disintegrity thus turned orange rather than staying white, plus it ehoed how everything got warmer, from the character out of the rain to, well... the hot stuff. Now that transition from white to orange will be a little less jarring I guess.
dasall
Comments
matt
re: laren's face in panel two - perfection. re: orange - Zee is the hero here, and he has lots of orange accents, so that dovetails nicely.
Eldkatten
Nice work, again! I do understand (at least I think I do) why the fourth panel was attached to the second one: look at it again and just follow the flow, from panel one to two to four and then to three. Detaching panel four establishes a different flow. Not worse or better, just different.
