RodVonBoche
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Disintegrity 89
🕑 Added 2019-04-01 01:31:51 +0000 UTCSo this one actually saw some more intense changes than recent pages, so at last I got something else to say than just "well it's pretty self explanatory so bye" !
Panel 1 : I changed the angle cos I feel a profil view is more readable. To be fair to younger me, the original panel was comprehensible enough but still, new one is better for other reason as well. For two, the character expressions are better - what the fuck is Zee's face anyway. For three, I think I didn't make it obvious enough but Zee is tugging Larsen's tongue, which makes the panel less static. Finally, at the very last moment, I made the panel smaller. It was just like the older one before, going from the very left to the very right, but I added the orange borders. I think it just makes the page looks prettier and easier to read.
Panel 2 on the left : I added a buttload of bright colors cos I'm awfully gay. Also the text "I can't spit you out" wouldn't fit as well in the background anymore (not like it did before but whatever) so I just gave it a different presentation altogether where it surrounds (and emphasizes I hope) the kiss. It doesn't fit where it used to because...
Panel 2 on the right : I expanded that pose. I'll first give my younger self some credit because Larsen's ass looked nice ! But Zee was posed so awkwardly... He had massive ankles... Larsen's legs and feet just seem to vanish... To top that off, we can't even see the kiss ! What the fuck !
That page was mostly a page for pacing when I made it. It had no point beside elongating the scene cos I felt it was for the best, rather than cutting the kiss off too soon. I wanted to feel like it mattered a lot, so it takes many pages and the panels are massive. So making it sexy wasn't the point back then. Still, I feel like simply showing the character a little bit more than they were suddenly makes that last pose vewwy nice.
Anywa, that's all I got, sorry. I should be drawing more now cos... I finished Sekiro. Again.
Comments
RodVonBoche
The shading also didn't help in the old page, since the tongue catching is in the shadow, making it even less obvious on top of the camera not being centered on it. If it takes time to be understood, it means it wasn't very good. But that's the kind of reason why I'm remaking it !
Eldkatten
Really nice (re-)work! To be honest, I'm pretty sure I allways overlooked the "background" in panel 2, left side, I only saw two scenes on this page. Thank you for bringing it more to the foreground. Though I did get the "Zee caught your tongue"-aspect in the earlier version, it took me some time to understand it, mostly because I was looking for the reason for Zee's clotted speech. Much clearer and smoother now. And the tail-tangling is very natural and so cute now :-)
