RodVonBoche
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Disintegrity + Poll winner
🕑 Added 2019-01-25 22:26:54 +0000 UTC- THE POLL
The plant and its creator won the poll ! It's official. Which I'm hyped to draw cos I haven't touched them in so long, almost nothing since ortie 2. Which I looked at recently and wondered about doing to that comic what I'm doing to Disintegrity right now ! Except I won't. Cos it takes too long. And I'd rather make new comics, so I guess the massive eyes that they have in Ortie will have to haunt me.
But beyond acknowledging the winner, I wanna ask : does the plant fuck the baker or the other way around, since they're pretty reversible as of Ortie 2 ?
- DISINTEGRITY
hhoooOKAY. I think I added something like 3 or four pages, two of which being filled by a single character (respectively, Zee and Dani). Let's go through details I feel like talking about !
PAGE 13 : Not much to talk about... I changed the gradiant B&W background for dark clouds, cos it seemed to fit the upcoming pages better. One could argue that the easier to notice gradient from left to right hinted at the darkness within Larsen that Zee is cowardly running away from, but that element is still there, just less obvious. The only other thing worth mentioning is the ear on the last panel, which looked more defeated in the older version of the page. But I noticed that too late, so... fuck it. It's still fine the new way it is.
PAGE 51 : YEAH BABY
There's quite a bit that could be said, butt most of it is obvious. So let's skip how balls butthole face wiener are all sexier.
The dialog changed quite a bit here because I'm planning for Zee to say the "scuse me coming through part" in the last panel of page 50. Plus since I decided to make Zee's balls right up in Larsen's face, I just wrote Zee's line like that. (If you zoom in on Larsen's eyes, you can see the balls being reflected, by the way. GOOD STUFF.) It all sets up the last panel of page 52 better too.
Otherwise, I like drawing smoke-words. Since I changed the angle so that the panel isn't JUST a zoom on Larsen's (ugly) face and Zee's butt but a wider view of the scene, that left a lot of room above them. So I filled it with Larsen's steamy & panic-induced thoughts. Which is to say, "shit shit shit shit shit". So that was nice.
Finally, Larsen's hair doesn't clip through the next panel anymore cos that looked weird. Instead, the first panel just disintegrates a little below Larsen's head to make the page less clean and highlight Larsen being panicked in that first panel.
Not much change from the first panel except it's more zoomed in and looks better. I can mention how the dialog bubbles look like they fit the words better I suppose, look that the "don't say that" in the old page, the "don't" is very close to the outside of the bubble and it looks kinda gross. That's something I'm trying to fix in this remaster/remake. (This page was entirely remade, so much for quickly remastering...)
Second panel sees some dialog change because "i've always wanted to try this" isn't super important, so I thought it'd be better to highlight that Zee is reaching for Larsen's crotch. Which I understand is obvious but I think it makes it flow better from that last panel to the first panel of page 52, especially since you can now see both Larsen's bulge and Larsen's hands holding the belt in the last panel of 51.
PAGE 99 :
Zee's head looked puffy, so it needed to be remade (the heads almost always need to be remade anyway) but I made him look downard more to seem more disappointed than he was in the original page.
As much as I like the old version of that page still, anatomically speaking there's a lot wrong with it. I'm not even sure if it's obvious cos it genuinely doesn't bother ME, but I can still see it. Larsen is hard to make out, him being largely hidden makes it unoticeable but I know it. So I redrew it, you can look at that below. Now his face also shows more which is neat. Otherwise, Zee's arms are way too long and his calves way too big. Then there's the usual problem where the character's face just aren't the way I draw them nowadays, so they all needed to be redone. Since Zee's hair are poofier, I reduced the size of the kissing heads to an extent that allowed even more of Larsen to appear than he did in the original page.
I didn't need to draw it, but I did... cos... larsen smexy...
PAGE 113 :
Once again, not much to say. It wasn't a page that needed a redo but a lot was still wrong, so here it is. The most interesting part is the dialog I added, cos that page flowed weirdly in the original version of the comic. On page 112 they speak then suddenly they turn mostly silent as 113 comes ? It's awkward. So now they speak, continuity is better. Plus I like what I wrote, too bad the smut stops there...
It's not the only reason the flow is weird, I think Dani didn't need to be re-introduced in such a big panel, but I kept it cos I don't wanna do buttload of work to make it more natural. Flawed it was, flawed it is.
ANYWAY. I got some comishes to work on and I'd liketo do some original pages instead of just Disintegrity. I'd really like to finish A Good Boy soon... So I'll try to do a page of that.
Comments
Eldkatten
I'd prefer Ortie doing the Baker. I'm so thrilled about Ortie winning the poll because those two comics where the ones that got me hooked to your art.
The Orange Cow
As for which position the plant and the baker take, the obvious answer is whichever one is sexier.
RodVonBoche
I'd love that as well but it'll have to wait, cos the first Ortie would require way more work than even Disintegrity does.
RodVonBoche
I have considered the problem but I thought it wouldn't matter when put in continuity of the previous page where Larsen says "shit" as Zee goes above him, people would have the proper context. (I've not yet redone that page tho so I guess we'll see if that works then, for now this'll have to do)
matt
heres something that immediately jumped out at me: I like Larsen’s “shitshitshitshitshit” stream of consciousness, but his face is right by Zee’s ass, so... I thought at first that was what he was *smelling* rather than what he was *thinking*. “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck” or even “oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit” would still get the same point across without the potential for an unfortunate alternate interpretation... just thought it might be worth pointing out.
matt
Id love to see an HD REMIX of Ortie too, for what it’s worth. As for the poll... I do like it when they flip, but ortie-on-creator is my fav.
