Dirty Doug
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Chapter 4: In which I discover the disadvantages of honor
🕑 Added 2025-07-20 01:46:00 +0000 UTC“And redirect,” I said sharply, letting a wave of water split around me in a cascading flow that crashed down onto the ice. I spun just as Master Pakku had demonstrated earlier to me as I directed it to surge across the surface of the ice to encircle Yue.
Yue’s gentle smile was now a fierce mask of concentration as she windmilled her limbs, seizing ice from below her to surge up in a massive ice chunk that split the water I had directed at her, ceasing the flow of liquid towards her and splitting it to the sides.
I clapped my hands a couple of times, chuckling as I looked at Yue, who slowly seemed to be coming out of her combat mindset as she realized we were done.
“Great moves there, Princess,” I stroked my chin like one of my former fire-bending masters would have, “Soon you will be ready for the advanced set.”
“I’ll bury you,” Yue groaned as she kneeled, slightly taking deep breaths, presumably attempting to regain her stamina and her chi.
“Promises, Promises, Princess,” I hummed, still taking on the visage and personality of a master.
Yue glared at me for a long moment, but I could see a small sparkle of amusement behind her eyes. “I think I preferred the overly respectful warrior,” Yue mused.
I blinked and hesitated, unsure despite myself, had I overstepped?
“Uh, my apologies, Princess Yue,” I bowed my head slightly to the girl.
Yue blinked, looking startled, her cheeks flushing a light pink, “No, I don’t mean like that, it was a jest,” she waved her hands slightly, looking dismayed.
Ah, I had miscalculated; I hadn’t expected that from Yue despite this being our third practice session.
“Oh, I see,” I said, my own cheeks flushing slightly, “I’m sorry I didn’t expect that.”
Yue’s dismayed expression eased, and she smiled softly, “I’m sorry, I guess we still don’t know each other that well yet.”
I chuckled wryly, shaking my head, “I suppose not.”
“We’ll work on it?” Yue said her tone questioning as she cocked her head in a manner I found surprisingly cute, blue eyes carrying a surprisingly soft expression.
“Uh, yeah, I suppose we should,” I coughed, not prepared for the direct response from her.
Yue nodded her head, the motion and manner assertive, though I saw the slight tinge of pink on her cheeks, she turned to look out over the ice outside the North Pole, which we had made our training arena.
The uncertainty was still very much there with Yue, even a week later. I didn’t overly mind it, but sometimes it made what should be simple conversations difficult.
That and sometimes her eyes were so… expecting, like she wanted something from me I was unsure I could provide, yet at the same time, a part of me wanted to regardless.
I sucked in a deep breath taking in the chilly polar air and looked to the sun. Agni’s embrace did not feel different on my skin, but underneath it was becoming clearer and clearer that I was no longer fully his.
My Chi’s strength no longer waxed and waned from the sun’s path; instead, as night drew closer, my veins cooled with an entirely new strength, and as the sun rose, my old heat filled them.
My searches through the Northern Water Tribes' history had been fruitless. There were no records of people suddenly being able to waterbend, much less two elements.
I was almost positive that it was interference from the Spirits, or Tui specifically, but I thought it unlikely she had acted by herself, or perhaps she had, and I just wanted there to be a larger plan for this new problem.
Spirits, what a mess.
Instinctively, I slipped around a water whip that trailed through the air where my head had been.
I glanced back at Yue, raising an eyebrow at the girl who looked completely unrepentant.
“It’s not polite to ignore a Princess,” she said simply, though I saw a small hesitance behind her eyes, unsure if she had overstepped boundaries, yet that part of her that had simply acted in frustration, completely unlike how she outwardly portrayed herself, I found myself admiring. It was these glimpses of the girl underneath the poise that I found myself most admiring of.
“My deepest apologies, Princess Yue,” I dipped my head in acknowledgement, restraining the smile on my face, knowing she would likely not take it well.
“Forgiven,” Yue inclined her head, the very picture of understated royalty, “I was wondering if you would join my meal tonight.”
“Princess Yue, you do me honor,” I bowed my head to the girl, before in the next instant I leaped straight up, avoiding the snow collapsing from underneath my feet.
I focused, swirling my feet midair, reforming the snow beneath my feet in an instant as I came down with a gentle thud.
“A simple yes would suffice,” Yue smiled pleasantly at me, but there was a dangerous edge to it.
I truly contemplated poking slightly more at Yue but as I was beginning to learn the more time I spent around her, Yue did not take to teasing passively.
“Of course, I will, Yue,” I smiled warmly at her.
Yue blinked, and then her cheeks darkened once again, and her smile became rather fixed before she rapidly turned, “Well, that’s good then,” she said primly and began to walk over to the formal robes she had worn to our training but had quickly discarded.
We walked back into the city, and it was interesting, if a little disheartening, to see Yue’s expression take on a placid, gentle smile the instant we were in sight of other people.
I had thought the airs of the Fire Nation Royal Court were bad, but when Yue was in public, she always had the same passive smile on her face. Her eyes shied away from anyone we encountered as they deferentially turned their heads.
It kind of pissed me off to be honest.
Yue was simply an object of reverence, not a person; the only one I had seen so far treat her semi-normally was Yagoda.
If I were still considering Plan B, then that plan would have died a quick and painful death. Yet it was difficult now as I considered what exactly I was doing.
My original plan was simple: unite the world around the Avatar, give him all the power needed to punch through the Fire Nation capital on the day of the eclipse, and dispose of Fire Lord Ozai. Stop the fall of Ba Singe Se while I was at it. Put Iroh on the throne directly after. They had almost succeeded before, and that was with the fall of Ba Sing Se taken into the equation.
I had a small worry, though, that simply defeating the Fire Lord when he was powerless to respond would mean little in the grand scheme of things if he was still alive when the eclipse was over.
Either way, getting the North Pole to take an active role as a force multiplier seemed like a good idea at the time. The South Pole, not having been raided for their waterbenders, was likely in better shape, so that was already a positive.
Now it seemed like at least Tui, one of the Great Water Spirits, had put their metaphysical finger in the pot, so to speak, who was to say that other Spirits wouldn’t?
Had I been taking too much for granted that things would remain the same regardless of my existence?
Not to mention, it was easier to see the world as a Pai Sho game from the capital, here now in the North Pole, concern ebbed at my heart, the people around me could not be so easily sacrificed like in Pai Sho.
There was more and more that I seemed unaware of at best.
“You have that grumpy frown on your face again,” Yue murmured, her voice not carrying but a small distance, enough for an isolated conversation.
I blinked and placed a smile on my face again, “Forgive me, Princess, I should have given your presence more heed. Pay no attention to my troubled thoughts.”
Yue’s foot came down with a small fluid motion, and I hopped slightly as a divot appeared before my leading foot, attempting to trip me to the ground.
We continued the rest of our walk in a stately peace as befitting Yue’s station, as I wisely decided to keep quiet for now.
-
The high society of the Northern Water Tribe dined together that night, and to my dismay, I was among them.
If I had thought Fire Nation dinner parties were boring and stuffy, this was something else as we sat arrayed about a three-sided rectangle, all being able to view each other but only being really able to converse with the people next to us.
At least as a small consolation, I found myself sitting next to Master Pakku on my left and Yue on my right, who was eating with all the propriety expected of a princess.
It was also amusing to see her doodling in the snow next to her with small flicks of water bending, it reminded me of Azula at the more formal dinners we had been dragged to. If there weren’t knife-edged politics occurring in the moment, Azula would simply bow her head passively as she attempted to burn little designs into the wood of our table.
I felt the gaze of Master Pakku and saw him directing a small frown at Yue’s actions.
Right, Master Pakku was a big believer in the rules I had spared no second thought in violating.
Perhaps I might feel more sympathy if I did not have my own opinions of the practice, if I had not seen the sheer joy in Yue’s expression when we practiced.
I raised an eyebrow at the man, and his cold blue eyes locked onto me as the wrinkles on his face deepened in a frown. I saw his eyes flick back to Yue, then me, before something passed through them, and a small glare emerged on his face as he looked at me.
I met his eyes evenly; I would not be the first to break eye contact in these circumstances.
Pakku held my gaze for several more moments before he seemed to realize I wasn’t going to be cowed, “We’ll be having words later, Hakoda,” he muttered before returning to his meal.
I merely raised an eyebrow at the man and dipped my head once in acknowledgement.
-
Tui’s gaze was the opposite of Agni’s in many ways, yet in the end, their effect was similar for me. I breathed small deep breaths as the blood in my veins stirred, as I gazed up at the moon, a half circle of bright light in the sky.
Pakku’s heat approached from behind me on the wall, easily identifiable in an environment almost entirely devoid of heat.
“I had thought you more aware of the practices of our tribe,” the man murmured, though his voice was not the harsh cracking waves of ice I had expected and prepared myself for.
“I’m not entirely without such knowledge,” I inclined my head slightly, still gazing up into the pale moonlight.
“So it is not ignorance, but outright defiance,” Pakku murmured, and I could feel the man stroking his beard in a thoughtful manner.
I hummed softly, “Master Pakku, do you remember what it was like when you first bent?” I asked.
Master Pakku did not so much as shift behind me, his stance set completely, I almost wondered if there was earth around if it would have shifted, “It is tradition,” he said, his voice a small growl.
“Respectfully, Master,” I said, keeping my voice even and light, “That’s not an answer.”
Master Pakku sighed a deep thing, exhaling seemingly the entire capacity of his lungs, “I remember, it was a wonderous thing, to feel the extent of the world beyond me, for my chi to meet its like and flow to my will.”
I nodded, having expected such an answer, if maybe not in that specific detail, “In the Fire Nation, there is a principle called ‘Pravadam.’ The principle is integral to the nature of firebending, intertwined with the art itself. In short, the challenge it means for the challenge in life is to be met and faced head-on, with aggression, with honor. Both men and women fire bend in its entire form, and it is vital because for them, fire is life, and it is what they face life with.”
“I do not know much of the Fire Nation,” Pakku said shortly, “I will believe as you say.”
“Do you bend only because it is a form of martial combat?” I asked.
Pakku frowned, walking a couple of steps to join me entirely, though his gaze was lower, looking at the water, “I’ve used it for other things,” he said shortly.
I sighed, “’Pravadem’ is not merely martial. It is just one aspect to which it is applied. To simplify it to only martial would be to remove all but the most simple of meanings. Waterbending is a vast art. Why should only those born as men experience the form of its martial ability, and why should only those born as women know its ability to heal? Why not both? Or at least why not a choice?”
“It is the traditional division of labor,” Pakku sighed, “You are not from here, you do not understand, it has worked for our people, who are you to say otherwise?”
Despite myself, a dry chuckle rumbled through my lips, “Absolutely no one,” I acknowledged, then hummed, “Though I do have the smallest bit of a blessing of Tui, don’t I?”
A snort erupted from Pakku’s lips, and he dipped his head to the side slightly, “I suppose a point there. I am not sure that will be enough to convince Chief Arnook or the others of the tribe.”
“Are you not preparing to turn me in?” I asked, a little surprised despite myself.
Pakku snorted a gruff chuff of air, “To whom exactly? I do not approve, but as a fellow member of the White Lotus, I cannot revoke my aid so easily. I suppose I could tell Chief Arnook, though I doubt that would do much, perhaps he would end your engagement, though Chief Arnook has more reason than most to not want to do anything that could be perceived as interfering with Tui’s will.”
“Because Princess Yue is also touched by Tui,” I nodded my head.
“Indeed,” Pakku sighed, “I will admit, it’s not a poor position to play your hand from, yet-“
He turned to look at me directly, “I can’t help but still wonder at your own objectives, Hakoda.”
“My objective?” I murmured demurely, “Do you think I have more motives than what I have said?”
“Of course you do,” Pakky snorted, “You would have to be a fool not to, and fools have no place within the White Lotus.”
So we were finally having this conversation.
“Who in this world can stop the Fire Nation?” I asked, deciding to see where my questions took us.
“As far as can be seen? There are none,” Master Pakky said dryly, “What? Do you expect to handle the issue by yourself? If the White Lotus could end the war, they would have done so already. At this point, it is the Fire Nation that must decide to end its conquest. I rather doubt the strength of arms will result in anything but further heartbreak.”
“Even if it was the Avatar that defeated him?” I asked interestedly.
“Do you see any Avatars emerging, boy?” Pakku growled gruffly before he released a small huff of breath, “Regardless, despite my own misgivings, it is the agreement of the White Lotus to wait for the Avatar to emerge. It will be the Avatar that decides the next steps. Perhaps a decapitating strike to the Fire Lord is the best-case scenario, and then the beast will thrash in its death throes and do even more damage. It will be up to the Avatar to prevent their replacement with a like-minded individual. If the Fire Nation is to be defeated, it must be wholly; the power structure replaced utterly. They must no longer be able to continue to prosecute the war.”
I considered the man’s perspective and gave it real thought. A plan involving the eclipse had seemed like a good idea from what I had known, but was I not acknowledging the simple truth?
The Fire Lord was powerful, but if the rest of the Fire Nation had decided to, he would no longer be able to prosecute his war. The most powerful fire bender in the world or not. There were structures of power that were firmly entrenched, that were more than pleased to continue to wage war, until that was dealt with, the war would continue. The Southern Raiders had not been a plan originating from the Fire Lord.
The generals were just as complicit.
It was part of why I had worked in the shadows as much as I had; attempting to cut the points of connection from the web of the Fire Lord seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was hard to acknowledge, but I was becoming unsure if my current plan could still work.
The defeat of the Fire Nation before was due as much to luck as it was skill, in my personal opinion. The Avatar gaining the ability to take away bending and at the same time finding a friend who could take over the entire Fire Nation was not necessarily due to any skill.
Much of it was luck.
But what was luck in the face of the spirits?
My stomach twisted at that thought, and I frowned down at the ground. That thought definitely perturbed me. What exactly did they desire? Was the world as it was currently going toward their whims or against them?
I brushed my hand against the white streak in my hair thoughtfully.
Tui's ‘blessing’ at least must be some indication, right?
“Hakoda?” Master Pakku's voice broke me from my thoughts, and I looked up, pasting a half smile on my face.
“I agree with you, Master Pakku; I'm not sure if there is any possibility for this war to end, unless the Fire Nation structure itself is changed so they no longer want to continue this war, or they become incapable of doing so. Yet you say it is the plan of the White Lotus to wait for the Avatar to emerge.”
Pakku regarded me with stern blue eyes, “It is the Avatar's duty, not ours.”
I looked at the man, suppressing the surge of frustration within me, “Why, are we not capable ourselves? Must we rely on a single person to resolve the war unilaterally?”
“Those words are dangerously arrogant," Pakku counseled with a frown, “The Avatar has knowledge, power, and understanding far beyond any one person.”
“That misses the point, Master,” I tried to keep my rebuke gentle, “Still, ultimately the Avatar is one person. Who is to say they even will return?”
“They must,” Pakku said softly, “Or there is no hope.”
“Hope,” I murmured the word tasting like pitch on my tongue, “So that is why the Northern Water Tribe sits and waits.”
“So that is your objective,” Master Pakku's face could have been carved with ice, “You wish to win support for conflict with the Fire Nation.”
I froze, staring hard at the man, caught off guard by the pointed statement.
“I have no intent on waging open warfare,” I hedged slowly, attempting to pick my way through my words to only say the truth.
“Is that true?” Master Pakku frowned at me, “You move as one accustomed to combat, and your feats say as much. You strike me as a boy solely raised for the purpose of war. What made you decide this? What did this war take from you?”
A young man, unaware of the war he was stepping into.
A gentle smile on a woman whom I had always struggled to love.
“Enough,” I said, faltering just the smallest bit, “This isn't about vengeance or whatever you might think;” I reasserted, firming myself once again, “Though perhaps I cannot deny the fact truthfully that I was indeed raised for war.”
After all, it was what I had been preparing myself for all these years.
To protect what I loved.
The names and faces flashed through my head.
Uncle Iroh. Mai. Ty Lee. Azula.
Yue.
The last name surprised me. I barely knew the girl, yet somehow the more time I spent with her, the more my heart softened to her presence. If nothing was done, there would be a Northern Invasion, and the girl I knew would cease to exist.
Master Pakku gave me a long look before finally his face softened slightly, and he reached out, placing a weathered hand on my right shoulder.
“I'll believe you Hakoda,” he said simply.
I blinked, surprised despite myself. I was not aware I had such a relationship with Master Pakku. “You will?”
Master Pakku’s smile was small but present, a strange expression on his normally stern face, “It is the duty of the master to have faith in their student, is it not?”
Ignoring the slight thickening in my throat, I nodded, “Thank you, then, Master Pakku.”
“So I take it then you are intending to agree to Chief Arnook’s engagement proposal?” Master Pakku asked, his expression gave away nothing.
“I,” I hesitated, “I am considering it,” I said the words with some reluctance.
“As well you should,” Master Pakku murmured, giving me a considering look, “If you insist on these foolish intentions, then such a marriage would only be a boon for your cause.”
“There are…” I hesitated, wondering how to phrase my next words, “Complications to such an arrangement.”
“Complications?” Master Pakku’s lips twisted in humor, a small smile slipping onto his face with ease as if we had not been discussing the fate of the world previously, “Do tell, what are these… complications?” he tasted the word with amusement.
A dry laugh breezed forth from my lips not of my own accord as I was struck by the absurdity of the question, of how this situation must look to Master Pakku, “That itself is also complicated,” I sighed brushing my hair back from my face staring into cold night air the tingling of the moon on my skin disturbing my chi.
“From basic principles, then,” Master Pakku said easily, “Do you hate the girl?”
“Princess Yue is not someone I would consider easy to dislike,” I shook my head, “She is intelligent, caring, and is strong-willed. I think many would consider themselves lucky to be matched with such a girl.”
“I do hear the implied rebuttal,” Master Pakku remarked.
I continued, “Yet that is not how many other people would describe her, is it?” I looked at Master Pakku questioningly.
Master Pakku shook his head, “You have seemingly revealed a side to the girl few, if any, have seen.”
“Perhaps,” I dipped my head acknowledging the point, “It is not such a simple matter.”
“So you say,” Master Pakku’s lips dipped in a rather severe frown, “Yet I fail to see your problem. Another question, do you think you would be unhappy together?”
I considered the question momentarily, “I do not think our personalities are so directly opposed, yet her marriage to me would be complicated, I think. I am not from the Northern Water Tribe; I do not think I am a good choice. Tui’s blessing aside, I will always be an outsider.”
Master Pakku’s frown deepened, and he was silent for a long moment, finally he spoke, “You are a good liar boy, one of the best I’ve seen.”
I restrained myself from reeling back in surprise, raising an eyebrow at Master Pakku, a frown on my face, “I beg your pardon?” I said softly.
“Let us speak plainly. You lie, boy, you walk like a water tribesman, you know our customs, our beliefs, everything you do is the perfect image of who you pretend to be, except for one problem.”
“Do tell?” I remarked, my face expressionless.
“Where were you struck by lightning?” Master Pakku asked.
“I’m sorry, I don’t follow?” I said, raising an eyebrow at Master Pakku.
“I noticed that Master Yagoda had written a new scroll about the treatment of lightning strikes, which is odd because I had not heard of anyone getting injured in such a way. I also noticed that since then, you’ve moved with slightly more ease. I decided to read the scroll out of curiosity, and can you guess what I found?”
“That getting struck by lightning hurts?” I remarked dryly.
Master Pakku pressed on, ignoring my dry retort, “That the lightning that struck her patient somehow seemed to have done more damage than any record I had seen previously. That it was a testament to the patient's constitution that he remained somehow alive. That power of lightning was remarked as unusual, but it was a mere remark. A remark that I have the knowledge to elaborate on.”
“Oh?” I asked, refusing to be led further.
“Which member of the Fire Nation Royal family did you attack, Fire Prince Iroh or Fire Lord Ozai?”
I blinked and then let an amused smile curl onto my lips even as I found myself impressed by how many leaps that Master Pakku had taken to still arrive at an incorrect conclusion. Though that was not to blame the man, “Excellent deduction, Master Pakku, yet you’re wrong. I did not attempt to assassinate either of those men.”
Master Pakku raised an eyebrow at me, “You expect me to believe as such, that lightning could only have been from a firebender capable of lightning bending. There are only two Fire Nation royals who are capable of such, and only Fire Prince Iroh has been seen using the ability on the battlefield.”
A long moment of silence passed between us as I pondered what my next move was.
“Even if I told you exactly what happened, I suppose it would change little,” I sighed, “Suffice to say, my presence within the Fire Nation is not desirable at the moment. You are correct in that, at least.”
Master Pakku raised an eyebrow at me, “I admit I expected another denial,” the man said somewhat musingly.
I shrugged, “You’ve done your research, and I admit I did not want to lie to your face,” I remarked simply.
“Then, casting that aside,” Master Pakku said, “There should be no further issue with your engagement. Whatever your past, you have defied Fire Nation royalty; such courage would be honored within the Northern Water Tribe.”
“So you say,” I sighed as Master Pakku’s words allowed me to finally come to a conclusion I had been trying to avoid.
Ultimately, the reason I should not get married to Yue was that I was a Fire Nation Prince. Yet I could not easily reveal such a thing without dire consequences.
Yet it would be wrong to continue as I was now. I could not willfully blind someone I was to marry simply because of convenience.
The truth I had been trying to avoid was now plain to see: I would have to tell Yue and let her decide.
I could justify lying by saying it was for the fate of the world, yet I did not believe in such a justification. Lying because it was easier would violate Pravadem.
It would violate my honor.
I chuckled, staring out over the dark ocean.
“Something amusing?” Master Pakku questioned and I shook my head.
“It’s nothing that would interest you,” I said softly.
Who would think that I would put my entire efforts here on the line for something like honor?
-
Yue sat before her scrolls, attending to her lessons with considerably less focus than she usually gave them.
It was not as if these lessons in particular were less interesting than usual, but lately now she found herself counting down the hours till Hakoda would arrive and they would practice waterbending together.
Hakoda.
Unwilling, her cheeks flushed at the thought of him, his unusually pale skin, and his light blue eyes that she swore had flecks of gold within them.
Not that she had spent great lengths of time staring into Hakoda’s eyes or anything!
And if she had it, it’s not like it was a problem, was it? It was only to be expected, right? She knew the games being played; the boy had been picked by her Father as a potential future spouse.
Heat flushed through Yue again, and she buried her face in her hands.
It wasn’t as if this was a bad thing, she liked Hakoda, love was, of course, out of the question, but she was at the very least attracted to him, and she didn’t hate his personality; she even liked how he would tease her despite her own outward showings to the contrary.
He was by far the best option she had been presented with so far on personality alone. Including his own attitudes towards teaching her water bending and his admittedly very handsome face, she could admit to herself she was far from displeased.
Yet it was also somewhat frightening. He elicited emotions in her that she normally would suppress.
She liked him, she was starting to really like him, and it had only been a short time.
Did he feel the same way?
Maybe she shouldn’t be worried; she was the princess in the situation, any other water tribe man would be more than willing to marry her.
Yet that was also part of it. Hakoda did not go so far as to be disrespectful, and in front of the tribe, he was the perfect image of the respectful water tribe warrior, yet there was a teasing edge to that display, especially when in private.
Almost as if he thought the whole thing a rather amusing joke. Like he was entirely used to the airs and expressions of a royal court, and that he was humoring her by going through those motions.
It was odd and didn’t quite make sense. How would Hakoda be familiar with such things?
Musing to herself, Yue stood up from her scrolls and walked to the balcony of her room, staring up at Tui idly, wishing that perhaps the spirit would grant her some guidance.
“It is quite the view, though I believe I have a better one currently.”
Yue spun around, her heart catching in her throat, before she realized that the familiar, almost raspy voice could only belong to Hakoda.
There he stood, dressed in his water tribe blues, his swords as always sheathed on his back.
His blue eyes twinkled in seeming amusement, lit by the gentle moonlight, and Yue’s stomach uncomfortably flipped, an airy feeling fluttering through it.
“Hakoda,” she murmured, “You frightened me,” she said, her tone going to reproachful even as a small smile made its way onto her face of its own accord.
“I’m terribly sorry, Princess,” Hakoda said, and for once, the words did not seem to have their usual teasing tone, there was a genuine apology in his voice.
Yue’s smile faded slightly, and something unpleasant twisted in her chest. “Are you alright Hakoda?” she asked, the words leaving her lips before she had really given them thought.
Hakoda’s face did not so much as twitch, and Yue was struck, caught off guard by the boy seemingly having developed the perfect courtly mask in the short hours since she had last seen him. “I had something I needed to talk with you about,” the boy said.
“I-“ Yue hesitated, not sure how to deal with this new person before her, “Of course, Hakoda,” she said, her own courtly mask beginning to rise up.
Was this how the boy would tell her he was not interested?
Was this the end of their relationship, short as it was?
She could think of no other reason for Hakoda to look as he did.
A small flicker of uncertainty seemed to flutter over Hakoda's expression, faint but there, before he seemed to firm himself as he looked seriously at her, “My name isn’t Hakoda.”
Yue blinked, then despite her own resolutions she cocked her head confused, “I’m sorry?” she said the words bleeding a disbelieving edge.
‘Hakoda’ grimaced, carrying an expression of pain that Yue hadn’t seen on the boy ever, not even when his lungs had been severely damaged.
“It’s Zuko, actually,” the boy said.
“Zuko?” Yue found herself frowning, confusion muddling her thoughts, “I don’t understand, why would you say your name was Hakoda then?”
Zuko, the name was odd, distinctly foreign, not the name of a water tribesman.
“That’s a complicated story,” ‘Zuko’ said, “I’m sorry I’m not very good at this, I didn’t expect to ever have to say any of this to be honest.”
“I-“ Yue bit her lip still just as confused, “It’s just a name, I don’t understand why that means anything.”
“You deserve to know who I am Yue,” ‘Zuko’ said, “I don’t know how much your father has told you but he offered your hand in marriage to me. You deserve to know who I am.”
Yue’s heart fluttered at the casual mention of marriage.
“Who you are?” Yue mumbled the words softly, “So you’re name is Zuko, I don’t see why that has to change anything.”
“It’s not a water tribe name, you recognize that?” ‘Zuko’ said, his face still completely impassive.
“I mean that much is evident,” Yue giggled despite herself, “You may not have noticed but you don’t much look like the other members of the Northern Water Tribe, you bend water though, so I’m sure there’s someone in your ancestry.”
“Actually,” ‘Zuko’ grimaced before a thoughtful look crossed over his face, “There’s only been one waterbender that I know of in my ancestry, and that’s really a special exception, my family is known for something else.”
Yue frowned, “Well, I guess that makes sense given that my Father told me you grew up in the Earth Kingdom.”
“That was a lie,” ‘Zuko’ shook his head.
“Wait, so you grew up in the Water Tribes?” Yue said, confused.
“Not that either,” ‘Zuko’ grimaced.
Yue frowned, giving ‘Zuko’ a put out look, “Well, you’re not an airbender and they’re all gone anyway so I don’t see-“
She stopped and a small coldness drifted through her, “You’re from the Fire Nation? But how? Did they capture you? What did they do to you?” a sick feeling began to rise in her imagining the pain that ‘Zuko’ went through, a water bender likely raised in captivity how could they-
“I am from the Fire Nation,” ‘Zuko’ confirmed, “I was born there, actually, I grew up there, it’s still a place I love and regard as my home.”
Yue’s eyes widened, “But you’re a water bender,” she whispered.
“I am,” ‘Zuko’ acknowledged, “But I didn’t start out that way.”
He held a palm, and then a bright blue flame flared into existence.
Yue blinked, then startled backward several steps, widely glancing between Zuko and the flame.
“You’re the Avatar!” she exclaimed wildly.
Zuko blinked and then extinguished the flame, waving his arms rapidly in denial, “No! I’m definitely not!”
Yue stared at the boy incredulously, “You can bend water and fire, of course you’re the avatar!” she exclaimed.
“I’m not!” Zuko shook his head, “I couldn’t bend water till Tui blessed me,” he said firmly.
Yue blinked and then frowned, “That’s possible?” she said.
“Apparently?” Zuko shrugged, and Yue was caught off guard by how unsure the boy sounded, a far cry from his usual appearance.
Yue centered herself and looked at Zuko, attempting to figure out the truth of the matter. The boy had just bent fire, but she had seen him bend water, and he said he wasn’t the Avatar…
“You’re sure you’re not the Avatar?” she said, unable to keep the disbelieving tone out of her voice.
“I’m not,” Zuko sighed, and his eyes flicked away for a moment before he raised a hand to his face, and golden fire flickered over his hand, and he pressed it to his eyes
Yue cried out, reaching a hand outward, horrified, only for her breath to catch as the fire did not burn Zuko, and he dropped his hand down and opened his eyes, revealing two pale gold irises.
“Beautiful,” the words escaped Yue’s mouth before she really thought them through. Zuko’s eyes had always been intriguing with the golden flecks she noticed, but now, looking at them, she was dumbstruck by their appearance, the regality, their depth of color that almost seemed inhuman.
Zuko’s cheeks darkened, which Yue took notice of, but he maintained steady eye contact with her.
“So you’re a fire bender,” Yue finally said, pondering the idea in her head. It was disconcerting, but at the same time, she admitted that she didn’t know much about fire benders or even the Fire Nation.
“I-“ Zuko hesitated, “That’s not all.”
Yue looked at Zuko incredulously, “That’s not all,” she repeated slowly, “What? You’re also the Fire Lord?” she scoffed, attempting to play off Zuko’s solemn mood and still off kilter from the heavy reveals.
Zuko flinched, and Yue’s stomach flip-flopped.
She had never seen the boy reveal that much honest emotion, “Um, that’s not possible,” Yue said, though she didn’t know who the words were for, “That’s Fire Lord Ozai, right?”
“He’s my Father,” Zuko whispered.
Distantly, Yue realized she had sunk to her knees, and she thought rather vaguely that the motion was very unprincess-like. She should really get up.
She felt a warm hand touch down gently on her shoulder, and she refocused to stare at concerned, pale gold eyes.
Zuko. He definitely looked like a Zuko, she thought.
Was this the moment he would reveal his true Fire Nation colors and cut her down? He had her at his mercy; it would be all too easy.
Yet, he had her at his mercy quite a lot this last week in their training.
Her eyes flickered to the pale white strand in his hair. Tui’s blessing. The moon spirit had blessed him, but why would the moon spirit bless a Fire Nation prince?
It didn’t make sense. He could kill her right now, he definitely could.
Yet those pale gold eyes looked at her with concern and the faintest amount of sadness.
The words escaped her mouth before she thought them: “Why are you telling me this?”
“You deserve to know,” Zuko said as if the words explained everything.
Yue’s mind began to coalesce at those words, “I deserve to know,” she murmured, “You told me this because I deserve to know. I could destroy you with this. I could kill you. Do you think you can escape the entirety of the Northern Water Tribe?” she asked the delirious thoughts passing through her mind.
“I suppose you could,” Zuko acknowledged, nodding his head.
“Do you think I won't?” Yue scowled at the boy, “I won’t let you hurt my people.”
Zuko shook his head, “I have no intention of harming anyone in the Northern Water Tribe.”
“You’re a Fire bender! You’re a royal Fire bender! Why wouldn’t you?!” Yue realized that her voice had elevated, but it was the least of her concerns.
“Because I’m not like my Father. I’m just trying to save my people.”
“Save your people?” Yue laughed a cold, sharp thing, “It’s your people who we need to be saved from.”
“I’m aware,” Zuko winced, and Yue wondered now if his wince was just a mask for the cold, calculating mind that must be behind that pretty face.
“You’re aware?” Yue scowled, “You’re a monster.”
“I-“ Zuko seemed to have no response to that.
Yue was about to unleash more vitriol, the built-up anger of a hundred years, well justified for a boy like this, not only someone who toyed with her but the bearer of a horrific legacy, before a single thought drifted through her mind, “Your chest,” she murmured.
Zuko blinked, looking surprised at the sudden change in topic, “I’m sorry?” he said, “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Who did that to your chest?” Yue asked her hands unconsciously reaching out and pulling his blue tunic front apart to trail her hands over the still remaining faint scar lines.
There was a single moment of hesitation from Zuko, before he replied, “My Father,” he said simply.
Yue's eyes pierced into Zuko, looking for the truth, but she already knew that he hadn’t lied, “Your Father did that?” she whispered.
“Yes,” Zuko said simply.
Yue’s hands clenched down on Zuko’s tunic, her emotions ripped through her uncontrolled, and she felt the ice around her shift slightly until she reigned in her chi.
She looked at Zuko, trying to muster up her anger again, but looking at his face, she couldn’t see the Prince of the Fire Nation, a culmination of the world’s evil.
Instead, tears began to well in her eyes, and her chest thickened with emotions before she unleashed a loud, visceral sob as she wrapped her arms harshly around Zuko in a grip tight enough to shatter ice.
Zuko made no indication of discomfort, and after a moment, she felt his hands settle gently on her back, stroking lightly up and down as she cried into his chest.
Wet hot tears slid down her cheeks, soaking into Zuko’s tunic, and the feeling of them only made her clench onto the boy harder.
Princesses weren’t supposed to cry. She was fully aware. Yet in this moment, with these emotions thundering through her being, Zuko’s arms felt like the most natural thing.
She cried for a while, but it was a relieving sort of tears, as they fell, she felt infinitesimally better, and as they fell, her feelings and emotions began to coalesce.
After some time, her tears stopped, and she no longer heaved, and she was left with a feeling of embarrassment that prevented her from pulling back and showing her no doubt wrecked face.
“I’m sorry,” Zuko said.
“Don’t apologize,” whispered Yue, “You didn’t choose any of this did you?”
The thought had come to her as she was crying, and now that she said it, it felt more right.
“You didn’t choose to be the Fire Lord’s son any more than I chose to be the Northern Water Chief’s daughter. You didn’t choose Tui’s blessing.”
But there were things he had chosen.
“You chose to teach me water bending, knowing the consequences, you chose to treat me like a person capable of making my own choice, you chose to tell me everything, knowing what could happen to you.”
Zuko could have said nothing. He could have just gotten engaged and married to her, revealing nothing.
Somehow, and she didn’t know why, the first person to respect her choices was the person who was supposed to be her natural enemy.
She looked up at him, removing her face from his chest and suddenly bringing their faces inches apart. Her blue into his gold, and for a moment, Yue simply appreciated the duality.
Yue was fully aware that she could regret her next action, yet it was like the feeling of water bending.
Push and Pull
She pressed her lips against Zuko’s.
Comments
Dirty Doug
These chapters are currently in the free tier. I'm almost done with Chapter 5 which will also be free but there should be one extra chapter this month that will be paid. Going forward my plan is to have one chapter ahead on patreon for paid subscribers
milly
These chapters are already on fanfictiob
milly
Where’s chapter 5
