linty
patreon
The Passion and Resurrection of Linty
🕑 Added 2019-11-25 23:14:23 +0000 UTC
Hey guys~! So, it’s already been a whole year since I came back to drawing! I’ve been so overwhelmed by the support you all have shown me~!! It’s unreal! ;o; I can’t thank you guys enough~~!
I wanted to do something I’ve been putting off~ I want to explain to you all what happened with my disappearance between 2010 and 2018~ I’ve tried to write this half a dozen times this past year, but I never post it... u3u But I’m so thankful to you guys, and I want to explain, so here it goes~:
(I’m sorry this is quite a bit different than my regular content~! >3<)
In the beginning:
When I first debuted my art, my life was a mess~ I never told anybody, because I was ashamed, but I was unemployed, massively in-debt from being fresh out of college, and homeless~ u3u I lived out of a storage unit until I got a car I could live in, I would draw my art in pencil during the day, and scan it at night at a friend’s house I was crashing at~! >3< I survived on commissions and freelance website work, but just barely~! I never wanted to tell anybody, because then I wouldn’t ever know if people were donating out of legitimate appreciation or out of sympathy... I couldn’t bear to be a sympathy case~ =3=
I’ve always had a drug abuse habit. I’m not addicted to anything, I just never didn’t do drugs. I pretty much lived at the clubs and raves, and being intoxicated was my normal state. At first I was responsible, but after a while I sort of lost hope, and didn’t care about my health. I didn’t see how I would ever recover from my debt, or have a regular life. My friends were OD’ing and killing themselves all around me, I just figured my turn was coming up soon. I kept failing at breaking into a legitimate art career, and none of the contract jobs I could land ever gave me any health benefits. But I never wanted to show my depression or struggles online. There, I got to pretend like everything was fine~! And I didn’t want to sour my work with a sob story~ So I just kept it all to myself...
The Fall:
Eventually I snapped, which isn’t that surprising in retrospect. >3< It happened when I was particularly depressed and fucked-up at a party. I don’t remember if I was dosed with or without my consent, but I ended up tripping on acid without being aware I was on acid. And to describe that night would be a book unto itself~! But the short version is that I had a terrifying and powerful religious experience, during which I saw and crossed through the sephirah of Da’ath. When I came back to reality, I was absolutely convinced it was the wrong one, that I was in a mirror dimension on the other side of Da’ath~! This stuck with me for years, I felt even more hopeless than ever, I was stuck in the wrong dimension and more alone than anybody could understand~ I never posted online after that, I didn’t see the point, my friends were a universe away~ I got even deeper into drugs, trying to trip my way home. I was paralyzed by panic attacks and suicidal impulses, I came to understand later that I had had a nervous breakdown.
I abandoned all the mirror versions of my friends and wandered off into the sunset. Literally~! I just drove west until I hit the Pacific and started to try to make a new life, to start over. I rebooted my personality and my habits. I couch-surfed until I could rent a garage, and eventually got my own apartment~! Somehow, I got a good salary job and just worked hard until all my debts were paid off~! I never touched art, and I didn’t look online, afraid that doing so would somehow reveal that my new life was just a delusion. I eventually could afford healthcare, but that resulted in me getting heavily medicated, so now I was never-sober in a totally different way, and zombie-Linty was content with a boring office life.
The Return:
While it’s true that I was very inspired by Bakuhaku’s fan tribute and my roommate's constant drawing and encouragement, the final kick in the pants that forced me to jump back into art again was financial~! I had lost my salary and was about to go broke~ I was on the verge of having to go homeless again! I had quit my meds and in my clarity had been inspired to draw, but I wasn’t ready yet, I didn’t think my art was very good or that anybody would remember me, and I didn’t even have a good tablet~! (It was a tiny little Bamboo~) But I had no other options~!
So I came back to art to see if it could save me, and holy hell~! ^o^ The response has been greater than I ever could have imagined~! ^o^ I still didn’t want to be a sympathy case, so I didn’t mention it: but you guys totally saved me from bankruptcy at the last minute~! (And another mental breakdown...) >3< I’ve been recovering and slowly paying off my debts all year~! I really can’t express how much your support means to me~!! To think that my art was so well-loved that I have fans like you makes me happy cry~! ;u; I’ve felt so fulfilled making art for you, I want to continue doing it as long as I can~!
I’m sorry that I went crazy and left you all hanging for nearly 10 years.... >3< If I had to extract a lesson from all this, it’d be to tell you guys to take care of your mental health. That doesn’t necessarily mean therapy or medication, in fact, neither helped for me. What helped me the most, actually, was learning to hike and camp and being alone in nature all by myself~! I take retreats out into the wilderness for a few days whenever I’m getting anxious or depressed, and the exercise and fresh air helps my brain calm down~ (Sometimes with hallucinogens, I guess that’s more like a “spirit quest”~) I always come back totally refreshed and inspired with new ideas~!! So, don’t just suppress your craziness, meet it face-to-face in the woods and make it explain itself~! >w< But also, it’s important to have people you can talk to when you need to get out of your own head. If any of you are struggling with mental issues, you can always come talk to me~!! ^3^
Thank you all for literally saving my life~! ^o^ I have no idea where I would be without your support~!
I know this isn’t the best forum for it, but feel free to ask me whatever questions you like in the comments~! I’ve always kept my personal life pretty secret, because I’m not proud of it... but I want to be more open with you guys now that I’m convinced you’re not here out of pity~~! >3< I’ll answer as many as I can~!!
Comments
Zinvoy
Only heard a week ago that u had a patreon. Heard plenty of rumors her and ther that you left art behind. but heard about a week ago that you were back. And had to join immediately. your art got me in to futa and I was never into oversized proportions but your art made it seem natural. I'm so glad your still here and here's to the next generation you'll leave In awe. Thanks for being there and for being back agian❤❤❤
2009 was when I found out about your art and if I'm being honest reading your comics over and over always helped with depression funks I'd always find myself in. I'm beyond thrilled to have you back and my question isn't really a prying one, is it possible to be friends with an awesome person such as yourself?
Linty
Thank you so much~! I'm very glad it was helpful you even a little~! ^u^ The guy was sort of an instigator: he was the type who'd dose everybody besides himself at a party and watch the chaos... that's why I'm not sure if it was with or without my consent~ =3= I never really went back or felt right, I just got used to it~! >3< Moving helped, because I didn't know the mirror side of this place~ But when I go back to my old city, it still feels wrong~ I don't think I ever vanquished the delusion, I just sidestepped it~! I do have a fulltime job that pays the rent and medical bills~ It's fine, but if I could ever do just art instead, I'd do that~ ^u^ I am a gypsy at heart, as soon as I could pack up and live a migratory artist life, I would~~! But for now, things are at least stable for the first time ever, so I've got no complaints~!
Aurorachimera
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I found your work right around 2010 and every year I'd find it somewhere new on the internet and cross my fingers there was an update. I'm so excited that you're back and that this has brought you to such a better place.
dragontamer8740
All I can say is that I can see bits of my own life experiences in what you've described, especially the money troubles and feelings of an impending break-down. In a way you've probably helped me to power through the next few weeks by sharing, so thanks. It's good advice. Additionally, whoever put you on acid without telling you sounds like a real jerk… though from my experience with friends who like to "share," I can imagine them thinking they're just sharing the experience and thinking it won't do any real harm. I guess that comes down to people having a hard time putting themselves in others' shoes and realizing not everyone has the same brain chemistry… Finally, a question, because I'm just curious– what made you eventually realize you *were* in the right universe/dimension, after all? I've never really had that kind of experience (not done acid or anything either), but I feel like I can understand how I'd get to that point. I just have no idea how one would come back from it when it's a self-imposed illusion. And re: the numbness thing: I totally get that from my time on ADHD medications. Never been an experimenter, and I think I am shy about drugs because of my bad experiences with Rx ones. P.S.: thanks for sharing– and I mean that. Have you found any work outside of this stuff, recently? I am not sure what's out on the west coast, but I'd imagine if you keep up with trying things like that flash game you worked on a while back (maybe in other languages that aren't being killed off by Adobe) you could get a job in software, as soul-crushing as that can get. Of course, if you're making enough to live comfortably from art, disregard this! Find things you're passionate about, and try to live life to its fullest, whatever that entails for you (as clichéd as that is; I am a bit of a hippie at heart).
alkeiser
<3 <3 <3
Sghoul
I was so glad when I saw your return. And not just because of your artwork, which I loved since the first of it I was exposed to. It was also because I always got a good vibe from you as a person (or at least online presence). So when I saw there was going to be a patreon, it was a no brainer. Just try and remember in the future, you aren't alone. Not only with the fans of your art, but just in general. Many of us have also wrestled with dark times and substance issues. There are more people out here that understand at least some of what you have gone through. They can be of comfort. Just as I am positive your admission here will comfort others to know that they aren't alone either. Glad you have come to a better place :)
Linty
Thank you so much~! ^u^ I'm so glad to hear I helped in any way~! ^U^ Yeah, I didn't realize it, but a lot of my art is based off my life~ >3< But I think that's where the best art comes from is the artist's own experiences, I'm glad I can convert my rough times into something good for others~! ^u^
Linty
Thank you for all your encouragement over the years~! You were also a big help in giving me the confidence and guidance to come back~! So thank YOU so so much!! ^o^ It's really turned my life around, I'm so much happier and stable now~! And it feels so great to get to create stuff for everybody again~ ^U^
Linty
Aw, thank you so much~! >w< I was an art major, if you can believe that~! Specifically in comic books, technically that's called "sequential art"~! ^u^ That's why it's so fulfilling to get to use all my art training for you guys~
Anon Y. Mous
It's great to hear that you're doing so much better and in a more stable place. You were actually one of the artists that first got me into futa stuff back in the day. Really helped me learn to accept some things I was sort of ashamed about so I could fully enjoy them. It feels kind of weird admitting that since we don't actually know each other, but your stories and characters really do have a uniqueness and familiarity to them that makes them so enjoyable. It makes me happy to see your art again and support you in doing something that you really love. I also can't help but wonder if some of your art is based off of things in your life though. It sounds like you've had lots of interesting experiences.
Shelby
Well that's certainly deeper than I imagined... I too was surprised by how nice the whole community is on DA, Patreon and others.
Thank you for sharing the story. When you contacted me after years, it made me incredibly happy and lifted a great weight from me. I had worried about you for years and so many times kept asking myself if there had been anything more I could've done to help you. I've always admired your art and writing style and can't express in words how happy it makes me to know you're safe, successful and willing to produce and share art.
Ghostflame
I am proud of you! Not many people have what it takes to make the struggle out of the darkness, and even fewer can speak about it so candidly. I've always thought you were a great artist, and now I have yet another reason to respect you. Forget "sympathy case"; stories like yours are inspiring, and I'm honored that you've chosen to share it with us. And as for a question: what was your major in college?
ZekeStaright
I'm sorry you had to go through all that, but I'm glad that you pulled through & that we were able to help in our small ways. I remember trying to send emails through your commission line to see if you were around every couple of years I think. I'm pretty thankful to Patreon for giving artists an outlet that also gives them returns, even if stuff can get muddled from time to time. I hope we'll get many more beautiful & sexy stories/art for years to come & you'll be able to live comfortably doing what you want. o(^3^)V~♥
Mr. Gabit
Don't worry I don't pity you Linty, I reserve pity for the ones that are truly lost. You found you way back and that earns respect. Also your art earns you my moolah so that's a bonus too.
MerihemXx
I remember when you dropped off the radar in 2010. I always wondered what happend. I'd be browsing through my smut and I'd see my "Nephilim Lamadh" folder and I'd thumb through it and think about you and why you left so abrubtly. You've really become a legend within the fetish art circle of the internet and I cannot understate how absolutely stoked I was when you came back! Also, I always loved the biblical theme. Sexy and intresting. The best kind of porn!
Doomington
I am so sorry to hear things got so bad for you, but am very happy to have you back and know things are much better.
Damn. I don't think any of us had a clue. Glad you are still with us and glad that you are able to do what you love. You'll have my support, and my socked dick, always.
aabsurdity
You're a kickass storyteller, Linty. Your works deserve to be seen, and they deserve to be *made*. I'm so happy that you've gotten back to a place where your creative work can drive you again, and I'm really glad that you've found some clarity and happiness in your dealings with the world. I'd like to thank that roommate of yours. You mention them often, and they seem to have been so instrumental in bringing you out of your medicated shell, and whatever else. Thank you, mystery roommate.
Kaiyeti
You are truly a kickass badass brilliant amazing extraordinary Goddess empress of awesomeness Linty. Thank you so much for sharing your tale and being just so inspiring, both in your beautiful brilliant art and showing that you are stronger then most people in the world. You are destined for greatness and glorious. Thank you for everything. *yetihug* May life continue to bless you and get better with each and every day.
Menkiga
I wanna gib hug uwu
I had no idea Linty... I am sorry you had to go through all that and I am glad you're now way better, and taking care of yourself >.< And that we got to be part of it!! And anyway, any universe you live in is automatically the best one. UwU
AO
I'm so proud of you for working up the courage to share your story.
Linty
I actually don't know what/who that is~! >3< I'll look into it~!
Linty
LOL~! >3< Kinda~! I guess I did get stranded in a foreign land, in a way~ >3< I heard a couple of rumors about me too, they make me laugh~ But I also felt bad, because the reality was much less exciting~ Thank you~! Things have been getting better, especially after drawing again~! ^o^
David Anderson
That definitely sounds like a very scary ordeal, I'm glad you were able to pull through it though like most mental health stuff the fight never really stops but with your experiences behind you it sounds like you've found a learned how to cope and hopefully between that along with the support of your roommate you won't reach that point again.
Alexis Peck
I can’t recall where I heard it, but some years after your disappearance from the web, I remember there was a rumor going about that you had lost your passport and gotten stuck in a foreign county. I can’t help but think there’s something poetic about how that weird rumor and the reality of your life actually do kind of match up in a bizarre sort of way. Regardless, it’s great to have you back, hope things continue to improve and you keep making incredible art.
Someguy987
*hugs* I know it can't be easy expressing yourself to a bunch of weirdo's on the internet, but I'm glad you did. I'm glad you're happy and comfortable enough to share what is doubtlessly a painful time in your life. I hope that we can all continue enjoying your art for a long time to come.
Linty
I have a full-time job too~ >u< I just have to do both to stay afloat~~! But I like the Patreon work, I would still want to do that even if I didn't need to~! ^u^
Lord Ilpalazzo
Also have you looked into working with Fakku? I remember at their booth a few years ago they were wanting to venture into some western comics. Maybe you can land a deal with them and get these bad boys published lol.
Lord Ilpalazzo
Linty I had no idea. I just remember stumbling upon the most badass futanari comic back in the day and as years flew by I was always searching to see if more chapters were made. I was sad knowing I wouldnt ever find it. Then 1 day on twitter your art or something popped up, can't remember now. I immediately knew that style and found out your art was back. Fuq yeah! I would seriously buy your Linty/Fuchsia comics. I NEED this in physical print lol. Give me it doujinshi style! I want your autograph too lmao. I'd be 1st in line at a booth during Anime Expo or something hahahaha.
Vices
Thank you for telling everyone the full story Linty! Have you found another job or is Patreon your only source of income right now?
Misty F.
Wow, this was even more of a journey that I could have imagined. I had just figured you ended up deployed overseas.
