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Mister and Missus Arc-Schnee - Chapter 4
🕑 Added 2025-08-10 22:03:15 +0000 UTCLast main chapter according to the commissioner. Might post one last epilogue thing if he wants it.
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Weiss examined her reflection in the full-length mirror for what had to be the fifteenth time that evening, turning slightly to observe how the fabric moved with her body. The dress was absolutely perfect: white silk that flowed like liquid silver with subtle blue accents that perfectly complemented her eyes and brought out the pale glow of her hair. The cut was elegant without being ostentatious, sophisticated without being overly mature for a school function. Completing the set was a tasteful sapphire necklace (that once belonged to her mother) that drew attention to the nape of her neck and sharp heels that added a sense of maturity despite her younger age.
She'd splurged quite considerably to find this particular ensemble. Back when she'd actually been a teenager all those years back, such an expense would've consumed her entire monthly allowance and then some. Jacques would've been furious with her. Now, with access to both her inheritance and her position as co-CEO of the Schnee Dust Company, it was barely a drop in the bucket. The irony wasn't lost on her. She possessed the resources to afford anything she wanted without limits and yet she rarely had the chance to use them for purely personal indulgences.
It was still profoundly odd to think about their current situation. Salem remained out there lurking the Grimmlands, undoubtedly plotting her next move. But for now - for this brief, precious interval - they actually had time to breathe. The sensation of going to sleep at night without immediately calculating threat assessments and contingency plans was so foreign that Weiss sometimes found herself lying awake anyway, simply because the absence of constant vigilance felt wrong. Even before she arrived at Beacon, she spent every night making plans. Plans for the SDC, plans for team RWBY, and (much as she refused to admit it) plans for Jaune.
But now the immediate threats had been neutralized. Cinder was dead (with her lackeys imprisoned), Adam was dead, Raven was in a cell, Torchwick was in custody, and Lionheart had been exposed and arrested. They'd bought themselves precious time, perhaps years, to prepare for whatever came next.
But tonight, she was determined to embrace this temporary respite. The dress was a statement of that determination, a declaration that they had carved out enough breathing room safety to indulge in normal teenage activities like school dances and formal wear.
This was purely practical, of course. She'd selected the ensemble solely to maintain her reputation and social standing. The fact that she'd chosen white to complement her natural coloring, or that the blue accents matched her eyes perfectly, or that the silhouette emphasized her figure in all the right ways? It was simply matters of good taste and strategic presentation.
Jaune wasn't a factor in her decision-making process in the least.
She was just putting on her silk gloves when Jaune's voice filtered through the door, "Weiss? Are you almost done in there? I think we're going to be late if we don't leave soon."
"Just a moment," she called back, taking one final look at her reflection. Everything was perfect. Hair arranged in an elegant updo that showcased the graceful line of her neck, lipstick and dark blue eyeshadow applied with subtle precision that enhanced her natural features without appearing overdone, and her dress fitted to perfection.
She opened the door and immediately had to work to keep her expression very carefully neutral.
Jaune stood in the hallway wearing a crisp white suit that complemented her own color scheme beautifully. But more than that, he'd clearly put considerable effort into his appearance tonight. His usually shaggy hair had been styled into something far more sophisticated, the blonde locks slipped back rather than falling in front of his face. It was still recognizably him, but refined in a way that emphasized the strong line of his jaw and made his blue eyes seem brighter. He'd even added a yellow boutonniere as a personal touch, the small flower somehow managing to look both elegant and charmingly personal.
The overall effect was... striking. Where the teenage Jaune she'd first met at Beacon had been gangly and awkward - and not to mention he'd worn that garish dress and sneakers - the man standing before her now carried himself with the quiet confidence of someone who had faced down monsters and emerged victorious. The suit fit him perfectly, emphasizing the breadth of his shoulders and the lean strength he'd developed through years of combat training. He wasn't as big as he'd been as a full adult, but this version of him was...charming, in a way.
She admitted, internally and with great reluctance, that he cut a rather dashing figure.
"You look..." Jaune began, then seemed to lose his words as he took in her appearance. His gaze traveled from her carefully styled hair down to her delicate heels and back up again, and Weiss felt a familiar (and, as she told herself, unwelcome) flutter of satisfaction at his obvious appreciation.
"Adequate?" she said, though she could feel a pleased flush warming her cheeks.
"Beautiful," he said simply, and the sincerity in his voice caught her off guard, "You look absolutely beautiful, Weiss."
For a moment, they stood there in the hallway, and Weiss was transported back to another time, another life. How many formal events had they attended together during their marriage? Corporate galas, diplomatic receptions, charity fundraisers. All the tedious but necessary social obligations that came with their respective positions. In the beginning, she'd loved those events. Loved having Jaune by her side, loved the way he'd make her laugh during boring speeches, loved how he'd dance with her even when the music was terrible.
But later, as his Huntsman duties had demanded more and more of his time, she found herself attending those same events alone. Standing in elegant ballrooms surrounded by people, feeling more isolated than she ever had in her childhood. It was one reason she grew more and more frustrated. After a while, it felt almost like he was deliberately choosing missions to avoid going with her. Once she'd brushed it off, three times she still tried to think the best of him, but half a dozen times straight? She was smart enough to see the patterns.
But that was then. This was now. Not a date, she told herself again. Just her keeping Amber safe from his clutches. Weiss offered him her hand with practiced grace, the gesture as automatic as breathing after years of formal training, "Shall we?"
Jaune took her offered hand, his calloused fingers warm and large against her silk gloves. She pushed that thought aside as they began walking toward the main hall, joining the stream of other students making their way to the dance. Tonight wasn't about their past mistakes or the relationship that had ultimately failed. It was about maintaining appearances, preventing Amber from making an emotional mistake she'd regret, and ensuring that if they were going to attend a school function together, they they'd at least look appropriately coordinated.
The fact that Jaune's presence at her side felt both familiar and oddly comforting was entirely beside the point.
As they approached the decorated entrance to the main hall, Weiss caught sight of their reflection in one of the tall windows. They looked good together, perfectly matched in their white formal wear, moving with the synchronized grace of partners who'd done this many times before. Hopefully, the evening wouldn't be a complete disaster. With their track record for public appearances involving minimal bloodshed and maximum interpersonal drama, she wasn't entirely optimistic about their chances. Knowing their luck, the White Fang would somehow sneak inside a dozen suicide bombers.
She shook her head. Just for tonight, she was willing to suspend her usual pessimism and simply enjoy the rare opportunity to feel like a normal young woman attending a dance with a...handsome partner.
Even if that partner was her insufferable ex-husband whom she definitely wasn't attracted to anymore.
Definitely not.
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The main hall had been transformed for the evening, draped in elegant fabric and twinkling lights that cast everything in a warm, golden glow. Tables laden with food and refreshments lined the walls, while the center of the room had been cleared for dancing. It was quite lovely, actually, though Weiss couldn't help but notice how different the atmosphere felt from the formal galas she'd attended in her previous life.
Huntsmen, she thought to herself as she sipped her punch and surveyed the crowd, always carried a certain...primal energy that no amount of formal wear could entirely suppress. Even dressed in their finest suits and gowns, there was something wild and dangerous about them. The way they moved with predatory grace, the unconscious positioning that made it clear they would be willing to fight at a moment's notice, the barely contained power that seemed to vibrate beneath their polished exteriors.
It was oddly exhilarating, being surrounded by so much controlled potential for violence while draped in civilization. By contrast, Atlas parties were a competition in excess. The "nobility" seemed to take pride in their air-headedness and detachment from the problems of their "lessers". Even now, she still remembered that gods awful "charity" gala after the fall of Beacon. Those self-centered snobs who sneered at Vale for falling while they were safe behind Atlas' floating walls.
One of her few regrets was that those same people were now back in their lofty positions in this timeline rather than having been forced to adapt to harsher realities after the fall of Atlas. A small price to pay for the lives of millions, but an irritating one all the same.
Weiss shook her head and went back to observing. Yang was her usual energetic self once again, which Weiss noted with relief. The blonde bounced between conversation groups with infectious enthusiasm, her smile wide and bright. After the revelations about her mother, there'd been a period where the fiery Huntress was unusually subdued. It was good to see her returning to her normal, boisterous personality...even if she was currently engaged in what appeared to be an arm-wrestling contest with several upperclassmen while wearing an evening gown.
Blake and Sun hadn't met in this timeline due to the changes she and Jaune had implemented. The monkey Faunus was currently off with Neptune - Weiss still couldn't believe she'd once harbored a crush on that blue-haired peacock - attempting to "improve" the stage setup with what looked suspiciously like stolen sound equipment from the AV room.
Blake herself was dancing with Ren, of all people. The two of them moved with surprising synchronization to the music in a graceful waltz. Off to the side, Nora was standing at the edge of the dance floor and glaring daggers at Blake while she literally gnashed her teeth in jealous fury. Weiss blinked in surprise. Had those two even spoken to each other in the original timeline? She couldn't recall Blake and Ren ever having so much as a conversation, let alone... whatever this was.
Fascinating how even small changes could ripple outward in unexpected ways.
Jaune was currently engaged in conversation with Pyrrha near the refreshment table, the redhead's face lit up with genuine pleasure as they talked. Weiss felt a slight tinge of... something that was absolutely not jealousy. Simply mild annoyance that her fake date was abandoning her to socialize with other people. If Jaune and Pyrrha ended up rekindling their relationship, that would be perfectly fine. Weiss would simply need to...keep a watchful eye to ensure he didn't repeat his pattern of infidelity.
She couldn't locate Ruby anywhere in the crowd, which was mildly concerning. In the original timeline, the younger girl had snuck out during the dance to investigate strange happenings at the CCT tower and encountered Cinder, just the first part of a chain of events that led to the Fall of Beacon. She wouldn't be doing that tonight - Cinder was a pile of ash, after all - but Ruby's absence was still notable.
Probably off somewhere trying to blend into the wallpaper, Weiss thought. The girl had always been oddly meek for someone who would eventually grow up to steal other people's husbands. Though to be fair, that particular character flaw wouldn't manifest for years yet. It was something she'd have to ensure would never blossom. Perhaps by setting her up with someone. Not Jaune, of course. Perhaps Sun? He was a nice enough young man.
Weiss was just beginning to consider searching for her wayward partner when an all-too-familiar voice rang out behind her.
"Salutations, Friend Weiss!"
'Oh, Brothers preserve me.' Weiss plastered what she hoped was a convincing smile on her face as she turned to find Penny approaching with characteristic enthusiasm. The orange-haired android was flanked on both sides by two hulking Atlas soldiers who looked deeply uncomfortable with their babysitting duties. Probably because their "charge" could have easily dismantled them both with her pinkie fingers if she'd been so inclined.
"Penny," Weiss said with forced cheer, "How lovely to see you."
"You as well!" Penny smiled, her green eyes practically sparkling with excitement, "You look absolutely magnificent this evening! That dress is a perfect complement to your natural coloring, and the cut demonstrates excellent understanding of classical formal wear principles!"
"Thank you, Penny," Weiss replied, her smile beginning to feel strained, "You look lovely as well."
And she did. Someone - probably General Ironwood - had clearly spared no expense on Penny's formal attire. Her dress was an elegant sage green that brought out her eyes, with delicate embroidery that managed to look both simple yet elegeant. There was even fur draped across her shoulders.
"Are you enjoying the dance?" Weiss asked politely.
"It is most fascinating!" Penny said , her green eyes bright with curiosity, "I have been observing the social dynamics and ritual behaviors associated with formal recreational gatherings. Did you know that the average heart rate of attendees increases by approximately fifteen percent when engaged in close-proximity partner dancing? And the correlation between musical tempo and interpersonal physical contact is quite remarkable! I have compiled 37 pages of data already!"
"How... thorough of you," Weiss said, already calculating potential escape routes. Penny's enthusiasm was endearing in small doses, but the android's tendency to treat every social situation as a scientific experiment could be exhausting. Atlas, in its infinite wisdom, of course thought that Penny simply downloading self-help books and checklists from the net would be enough for her to blend in. It was also why she'd unwittingly gotten herself a new best friend.
"I was hoping to conduct some firsthand research," Penny continued, bouncing slightly on her toes, "Perhaps you could assist me in understanding the nuances of friendship-based recreational activities? I have prepared a list of questions about appropriate conversation topics and optimal proximity measurements for platonic physical interaction!" She leaned forward till their noses were almost touching, "I wish to learn everything."
Weiss felt a sense of mounting dread as she realized where this conversation was heading. She could already see it. The other girl dragging her by the hand (how scandalous) as she went down her list of friendship activities.
She was just opening her mouth to attempt a polite deflection when salvation arrived in an unexpected form.
"Mind if I steal my date for a dance?" Jaune appeared at her elbow with perfect timing, offering his arm with the kind of casual gallantry that would have been utterly presumptuous from anyone else. Weiss was too desperate for an escape route to question his motives or consider the implications of accepting.
"I would be delighted," she said perhaps a bit too eagerly, taking his offered arm like a lifeline.
"Oh!" Penny's expression shifted to one of delighted understanding, "You are engaging in traditional paired courtship rituals! How wonderful! I shall observe from a respectful distance and document the behavioral patterns for future reference! Please make sure to drink the spiked punch!"
Weiss winced slightly at the clinical description of what appeared to be a romantic gesture, but allowed Jaune to guide her toward the dance floor before Penny could elaborate further on her research methodology, "Thank you," she murmured as they found a spot among the other couples, "I was beginning to think she'd make me famous for all the wrong reasons."
"Don't mention. You're still my date, after all."
As they began to move to the music, Weiss was struck by how...natural it felt. Familiar. They'd danced together countless times during their marriage. Corporate functions, charity galas, even the occasional quiet evening in their apartment when she'd put on music and they swayed together in the living room without fear of being judged. The familiar rhythm of their movement together was as automatic as breathing, even after everything that happened between them.
For just a moment, she allowed herself to simply enjoy the sensation of being led through the steps by someone who knew exactly how she moved, who could anticipate her turns and support her weight without conscious thought. She almost forgot about...everything and remembered how it all started. How they truly began to bond after he saved her life at Haven. At first, it was simple gratitude. Then they began to spend more time together, especially in Vacuo. He'd been the one to comfort her the most after she lost her home.
And then it all came crashing down.
The music was pleasant enough; a simple waltz that most of the couples around them were managing without embarrassing themselves. Weiss moved through the familiar steps with practiced grace, allowing Jaune to guide their movement across the polished floor. For a few blissful minutes, it was almost like old times, when dancing together had been effortless and natural rather than fraught with the weight of their failed relationship.
Then Jaune had to open his mouth.
"You know," he said, his voice carrying that particular tone of casual observation that always preceded something irritating, "You're still doing that thing where you try to lead from the follow position."
Weiss's spine stiffened, her grip on his shoulder tightening imperceptibly, "Excuse me?"
"It's not a criticism," Jaune continued, apparently oblivious to the danger he was walking into, "It's just... you keep trying to anticipate my moves and adjust before I can actually lead them. You're dancing against me instead of with me."
The audacity was breathtaking. Here she was, moving through the steps with textbook precision while he plodded along like he was marching through mud, and he had the nerve to critique her technique?
"Or perhaps," Weiss said with perfect politeness, "If your leading was more decisive, I wouldn't need to compensate for your poor timing."
"My timing is fine-"
"Hello there!"
Both of them turned to see Amber approaching the edge of the dance floor, her face bright with genuine pleasure at seeing them together. She wore a lovely deep amber dress - how appropriate, Weiss thought - that complemented her coloring beautifully, and she moved with the fluid grace that came naturally to an experienced Maiden.
"Oh," Jaune said, his attention immediately shifting away from Weiss and their conversation, "Hey, Amber! You look great tonight." And there it was. That same warm, appreciative tone he'd once used exclusively for Weiss herself, now directed at another woman with the casual ease of someone who'd already moved on from his failed marriage. The smile that spread across his face was genuinely pleased, his entire posture subtly reorienting toward Amber as if Weiss simply ceased to exist.
Weiss felt something hot and ugly twist in her chest as she watched the interaction unfold, "Thank you!" Amber beamed, twirling slightly to show off her dress, "Professor Goodwitch helped me pick it out. She said formal events were important for 'social integration' and 'maintaining cover identity.'" She giggled at the formal phrasing, "You two look absolutely wonderful together, by the way."
"We're not-" Jaune started automatically, then caught himself with a glance at Weiss, "I mean, thank you. That's very kind."
"I should let you get back to your dance," Amber said, but she lingered for a moment longer, her gaze soft and hopeful as it rested on Jaune, "Save me a dance later?"
"Definitely," Jaune replied without hesitation.
Weiss watched the exchange with growing irritation, her jaw clenching as Amber finally moved away with a little wave. The moment she was out of earshot, Weiss fixed Jaune with a look that could have frozen lava, "How thoughtful of you," she said, her voice dripping with false sweetness thick enough to choke, "To make plans with your admirer right in front of your supposed date."
Jaune's attention snapped back to her, confusion flickering across his features, "What? Amber's just being friendly-"
"Oh, is that what we're calling it?" Weiss's voice rose slightly, drawing glances from nearby couples, "Friendly? The woman was practically batting her eyelashes at you!"
"You're being ridiculous," Jaune said, his own voice taking on that defensive edge that meant they were heading toward very familiar territory, "There's nothing wrong with dancing with other people at a school function."
"Of course there isn't," Weiss agreed with vicious politeness, "But perhaps you could wait until our fake relationship has run its course before you start collecting your next conquest? Some of us have reputations to maintain."
"My next conquest?" Jaune's voice cracked with indignation, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, don't play innocent with me, Jaune Arc," Weiss snapped, her carefully maintained composure finally fracturing, "I know exactly what your pattern is."
"That's not- You can't just- Gods damn it, Weiss, why do you always have to make everything about your paranoid theories?!"
They were drawing attention now. Other couples had begun to give them a wide berth as their voices rose, though most were trying to pretend they weren't listening to every word. In her peripheral vision, Weiss could see Penny frantically scribbling notes, her green eyes wide with fascination, "Paranoid theories?" Weiss's voice went dangerously quiet, "Is that what you call recognizing patterns of behavior?"
"I call it being a jealous ex-wife who can't stand the thought of me moving on! That's what I'm calling it!"
The words hit like a physical blow, all the more devastating because they contained just enough truth to sting. Weiss felt her cheeks flush with anger and embarrassment, her hands clenching into fists at her sides, "How dare you-"
The music changed.
It was subtle at first, the gentle waltz fading into something darker, more intense. A tango filled demanding rhythm and aggressive sensuality. Most of the other couples began to clear the floor (except Ren and Blake, much to Nora's obvious frustration), but Weiss and Jaune remained locked in their furious stare-down, "I am not jealous," Weiss said, her voice low and dangerous, "I'm trying to keep up appearances, something you need to learn a lesson on."
She stepped closer, invading his personal space with deliberate aggression. Her hand slid up his chest to grip the lapel of his jacket, pulling him down until their faces were inches apart.
"What are you-" Jaune began, but she cut him off by spinning away in a dramatic flourish, her skirt flaring around her legs.
"Try to keep up," she commanded, extending one arm in the classic tango position. She couldn't fight him like she did in combat class all those weeks ago, so she could prove her superiority in another way: a dance. He'd always bragged about how he was the best dancer among his entire family.
For a moment, Jaune just stared at her. Then something shifted in his expression, a familiar competitive gleam that she recognized from their sparring matches and their more heated arguments during their marriage, "Oh, you want to play that game?" he said, stepping forward to catch her extended hand, "Fine. But don't blame me when you can't stand the heat, Snow Angel." The old nickname made her heart thump with something she told herself was irritation.
What followed was less a dance than a battle conducted through movement, each trying to dominate the other through sheer force of will and technique. Weiss moved with effortless grace, her body running through the complex steps without a single misstep. But Jaune matched her intensity, his strength allowing him to lift and spin her with force and speed that sent thrills down her spine despite her anger. They never danced like this back when they were married.
They moved across the floor like predators circling each other, the tension between them so thick it was almost visible. When Jaune dipped her low, his face deliberately hovered mere inches from hers, close enough that she could feel his breath against her lips and the smell of peppermint. When she wrapped her leg around his waist in a dramatic high kick, the contact sent electricity shooting through her skin.
"Is this what you wanted?" Jaune growled as he spun her out and then snapped her back against his chest, "To put on a show for everyone?"
"Better than watching you fawn over your next victim," Weiss hissed back, allowing him to guide her into a series of rapid turns that made her skirt flare dramatically around her legs.
"I wasn't fawning-"
"Please. You were practically drooling."
They continued their aggressive dance across the floor, their movements becoming increasingly elaborate and competitive. Weiss created tiny glyphs beneath her feet to enhance her spins, while Jaune used his enhanced strength to lift her higher and hold the poses longer than what was standard even for Huntsmen.
The other students - again, sans Blake and Ren - had completely cleared the floor now, forming a circle around them to watch the show. But Weiss was too caught up in their battle of wills to care about the audience. All that mattered was proving her point, demonstrating her superiority, and making Jaune admit that he couldn't handle her at her best.
When he lifted her into a dramatic overhead hold, she arched backward until her hair nearly touched the floor, displaying a flexibility that made several male students in the audience gulp audibly. When she wrapped both legs around his waist in a move that was definitely not standard ballroom technique, the resulting position was so intensely close and downright scandalous that Professor Goodwitch actually stepped forward as if to intervene.
But they were both too lost in their competitive fury to notice the scandal they were creating. This was familiar territory. The push and pull of their relationship, the way they could drive each other to extremes of passion and rage with equal ease, "You always have to make everything a competition," Jaune said as he set her down, only to immediately catch her in another dip that left her completely dependent on his strength to keep from falling.
"Says the man who's currently trying to out-dance me at a school function," Weiss shot back, using the momentum of his lift to spin away from him in a series of rapid pirouettes that probably violated several laws of physics.
"Maybe if you didn't challenge me every five seconds-"
"Maybe if you could actually keep up with me -"
They came together for the final sequence, their bodies pressed so close together that there was no space between them, moving through the steps with an intensity that bordered on obscene. The tension that had been building throughout their dance reached a crescendo as Jaune pulled her close again, holding her against him as she wrapped her arms around his neck in a position that definitely belonged in a bedroom rather than a school dance.
For a moment, they froze like that, both breathing hard, their faces inches apart and their bodies intimately entwined. The anger was still there, but it had transformed into something else entirely. Something hot, dangerous, and familiar.
The music ended.
The silence that followed was deafening, broken only by the sound of their labored breathing and the distant murmur of shocked whispers from their audience.
It was only then that they became aware of where they were and what they'd just done in front of the entire student body. Weiss slid back from Jaune, her arms trembling as she loosened her grip. They stepped apart with careful precision, both avoiding eye contact as the reality of their very public display sank in.
"Well," Professor Goodwitch's voice cut through the silence like a blade, "That was... educational. I suppose we should all be thankful that you didn't escalate to something even more untoward." Amber gave her a curious look.
Weiss finally looked around to find the entire dance watching them with expressions ranging from shock to fascination to poorly concealed arousal (ugh). Penny was still frantically taking notes, her mechanical pencil moving so fast it was creating small puffs of smoke. She finally caught sight of Ruby too. Her partner was pointedly looking away from her, her pale cheeks flushed redder than her dress. Weiss didn't know whether to feel mortified or proud.
"I..." Weiss started, then found she had absolutely no idea how to explain what just happened.
"We should probably..." Jaune gestured vaguely toward the exit, his face red with embarrassment.
"Yes," Weiss agreed quickly, "Fresh air. That sounds... prudent."
They fled the dance floor together, leaving behind a room full of students who would be talking about their performance for weeks to come. Weiss' face was still warm and her heart was still beating at a mile a minute. It was Jaune's fault, she told herself again. She was simply trying to prove him wrong. That was it.
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Ruby was totally wiped out. Like, completely dead on her feet tired. She'd spent the whole night trying to become one with the wallpaper at the dance, which was way harder than it sounded when you were wearing a bright red dress that practically screamed "LOOK AT ME!" and big black heels. Screw you, Yang! Every time someone looked like they'd ask her to dance , she'd find a new corner to hide in or suddenly become super interested in whatever sad appetizers they had on the snack table.
The whole thing was super weird anyway. Whatever that... thing had been between Weiss and Jaune on the dance floor was definitely not normal dancing. Ruby didn't know much about fancy ballroom stuff, but she was pretty sure people weren't supposed to look like they were two seconds away from either killing each other or... something else she really didn't wanna think about. She'd been trying to ignore Jaune and Weiss' weirdness ever since school began.
Now she was dragging herself back to their dorm with Pyrrha, both of them having bailed on the party around the same time. Even Pyrrha looked beat, and that girl had enough energy stamina to power half of Beacon most days, "Next year I'm just gonna volunteer to set up decorations or something," Ruby said, trying not to trip over her stupid fancy heels, "At least then I'd actually be doing something useful instead of just... standing around."
"The evening had its moments," Pyrrha said, which was her super polite way of saying 'yeah, that was pretty terrible.'
Ruby was digging around in the dress' pocket for their keycard when she heard voices coming from inside. Loud voices. Really, really loud voices.
"Your dick is even tinier than I remembered!" That was definitely Weiss, except she sounded all out of breath and weird.
"At least I don't cum in five seconds like you do!" Jaune's voice shot back, and he sounded just as breathless and... groany? Ruby's brain just kinda... stopped working for a second. Like, completely blue-screened. Were they...
"Oh gods, you're still terrible at this!" Weiss was practically yelling, but in that breathy way that made Ruby's face start burning, "No wonder I had to fake everything! Did you even put it inside yet? I can't tell!"
"Shut up! You're the one who- Whatever Jaune was gonna say got cut off by this weird thumping sound and then more noises that Ruby really, really didn't wanna think about too hard. She just stood there, card halfway to the reader , staring at the door like it personally betrayed her. Next to her, Pyrrha looked like someone had just told her Santa wasn't real.
"Are they..." Ruby whispered, not even sure how to finish that sentence.
"It... appears so," Pyrrha whispered back, sounding kinda strangled.
"But they hate each other!"
"Evidently not... entirely?"
More sounds came through the door. Really crude insults mixed with other stuff that made Ruby wanna crawl into a hole and never come back out, "You still screech like a dying cat!" Jaune was saying, except he sounded like he was having trouble breathing between all the groaning and thumping, "The neighbors filed noise complaints!
"Better than lasting thirty seconds, you pathetic- OH BROTHERS!"
Ruby's face went full tomato mode. She looked at Pyrrha, who was staring at the door like it might explode, "Oh my gods," Ruby hissed, backing away from the door like it was on fire, "Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods!"
"Perhaps we should..." Pyrrha gestured down the hallway, looking like she wanted to disappear.
"And of course you had to tear my dress, you horny brute! Couldn't wait to get make naked, huh?!"
"I saw you eye-fucking the whole walk back! Don't deny it! You're just as- ow, stop biting my dick!"
"Yeah. Definitely. Yang's room. We're sleeping in Yang's room tonight."
They speed-walked away from their door as fast as they could without actually running, trying really hard to ignore the continued sounds of... whatever the heck was happening in there, "I thought the dorms were supposed to be soundproof," Ruby muttered, her face still burning.
"They are..." Pyrrha said weakly.
"Then why can we hear-"
"Either the soundproofing's broken, or they're being exceptionally... vocal."
Ruby whimpered, "I did not need to know this about my teammates. Like, ever. In my entire life. Why can't they just hate each other like normal people?!"
They kept walking toward Yang's room, both of them trying really hard to pretend they hadn't just heard what they'd heard. Which was gonna be pretty much impossible, but Ruby was definitely gonna try. This was gonna make team meetings so awkward.
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Jaune woke up feeling like he'd been run over by a Goliath. Then backed over by the same Goliath. Twice. He blinked slowly at the ceiling, trying to piece together exactly what the hell had happened to their room. And... wow. Their room looked like a tornado had hit it. A very angry, very horny tornado.
The windows were completely shattered. He could feel the morning breeze coming through what used to be glass. Their study desk (which Weiss spent a whole week meticulously organizing) was cracked clean in half, books and papers scattered everywhere like confetti. Clothes were ripped and thrown around the room, either torn at best or outright shredded at worst. And was that... yeah, that was definitely Pyrrha's bed sticking halfway out of the window frame.
When did they throw a bed out the window? Was that during round four? Round five? He'd honestly lost count after the third time Weiss had literally climbed him like a tree while simultaneously calling him an incompetent moron.
Next to him, Weiss was staring at the ceiling with the kind of shell-shocked expression usually reserved for people who'd just survived natural disasters. Which, considering the state of their room, wasn't that far off. They both probably looked like absolute hell. His entire body felt like he'd gone ten rounds with Yang in the ring, and there were bite marks all over his neck, arms, and... other places he wasn't gonna think about too hard right now.
Weiss looked like she'd been attacked by a very enthusiastic vampire. The hickeys and bruises covering her pale skin stood out like neon signs advertising exactly what they'd been up to all night. Her normally perfect hair looked like she'd stuck her finger in an electrical socket, and she had this dazed look in her eyes like she couldn't quite believe what had just happened.
Honestly? Same.
They lay there in silence for a while, both of them probably trying to figure out how they'd gone from fake dating to... whatever the hell this was. The only sounds were the morning birds chirping outside their destroyed window and the distant sound of students moving around in the hallway, getting ready for breakfast. Gods, he felt like he was hungover, and he didn't even drink any of that spiked punch.
"This doesn't erase what you did," Weiss said suddenly, her voice hoarse and scratchy. She was still staring at the ceiling like it held the answers to all of life's mysteries.
Jaune groaned, the sound coming from somewhere deep in his chest, "For the hundredth time, I DIDN'T CHEAT!" God, they were really gonna do this again? Right now? After they'd just... well, after whatever that had been?
Weiss looked like she was gearing up to launch into her usual rant about Ruby and the hoodie and whatever paranoid theories she'd convinced herself were true. But then her eyes widened, and Jaune could practically see the lightbulb going off over her head, "I'm the Spring Maiden now," she said, sitting up so fast it probably made her dizzy. The sheet fell away and Jaune very determinedly kept his eyes on her face, "We can ask a question from Jinn. She always tells the truth."
Jaune opened his mouth to argue - were they seriously gonna drag a magical genie into their relationship drama? - but then he stopped. And smiled. A big, wide, shit-eating grin that probably made him look like the Curious Cat who caught the canary.
Weiss suddenly looked a lot less sure about her brilliant idea, her eyes narrowing suspiciously at his expression, "Why are you smiling like that?"
"Oh, Snow Angel," Jaune said, rolling out of bed and starting to hunt around for clothes that weren't completely destroyed, "This is gonna be fun." He found his jeans (somehow they'd ended up hanging from the ceiling fan) and started pulling them on, still grinning like an idiot, "Come on," he said, grabbing what looked like the least torn shirt he could find, "Time to prove you wrong."
Hours later, after they'd managed to find enough intact clothing to be decent in public and explained away the destruction of their room as "Maiden power training accident" (which wasn't technically a lie), they found themselves in the vault beneath Haven Academy. The Relic of Knowledge sat innocuously on its pedestal, looking way too normal for something that was about to settle the biggest argument of Jaune's marriage.
Weiss approached the lamp with the kind of confidence that usually meant she was about to be spectacularly wrong about something. Jaune had seen that same look right before she'd insisted that Atlesian food was superior to Vale cuisine, or when she'd declared that her investment strategy was "foolproof" right before losing a chunk of SDC stock value. She spent the entire next week butthurt and blaming the "volatile market" rather than admit she messed up.
She rubbed the lamp and blue smoke poured out, swirling and coalescing into the familiar figure of Jinn. The relic being stretched languidly, her massive form taking up most of the vault space, before looking down at them with those ancient, knowing eyes, "Well, well," Jinn said, her voice carrying that ethereal quality that made it sound like she was speaking underwater, "Time travelers. How... novel." She tilted her head, studying them with obvious interest, "Before you ask your questions, I should mention that yes, I can see into timelines that have been erased due to temporal machinations. Just so you're aware of my capabilities and don't waste a question."
Jaune felt his grin widen. Oh, this was gonna be good. Weiss stepped forward, chin raised with all the righteous fury of someone who absolutely knew she was about to be vindicated, "Jinn," she said, her voice carrying that crisp, formal tone she used whenever she wanted to sound important; which was all the time, "Did Jaune Arc cheat on me with Ruby Rose?"
The silence before the bombshell that followed was beautiful.
"No," Jinn said simply.
Jaune watched with pure, unadulterated joy as Weiss' face went through about fifteen different emotions in the span of five seconds. Confidence to confusion to disbelief to dawning horror. It was like watching someone realize they'd walked into class in their underwear but way, way better.
Meanwhile, Jaune's shit-eating grin was turning downright manic. He felt like he could power the entire kingdom of Vale with the sheer vindictive satisfaction coursing through his veins. Six months. Six months of accusations, paranoid theories, and having his character assassinated on a daily basis. Six months of being called a cheater, a liar, and probably some other things he was trying to forget.
And now? Now he had a literal all-knowing cosmic entity confirming what he'd been saying all along. He was right, Weiss was wrong. The feeling was better than sex. And he'd know considering he had a point of comparison literally less than 12 hours ago.
"But-" Weiss started, opening her mouth to ask what was probably gonna be another question and waste their last one for the century.
Jinn held up a hand, cutting her off with the kind of authority that came from being older than civilization, "No," she said, anticipating the question, "Ruby Rose did not plan to cheat with Jaune Arc. There was no cheating. Period. No infidelity, no emotional affairs, no inappropriate relationships of any kind. Your marriage had problems on both ends, but unfaithfulness was not one of them."
And then, just like that, she dissolved back into smoke and returned to her lamp, leaving them alone in the vault with the echoing finality of divine judgment. Weiss stood there for a moment, staring at the now-dormant lamp like it had just told her the sky was green and water flowed uphill. Jaune was tempted to say "I told you so" before he held himself back. No, let her stew in it, he thought. He was curious if she'd accept that she was wrong or double down/
The lamp fell from Weiss' limps hands and she slowly sank to her knees, "NOOOOOO!" she screamed, her voice echoing off the vault walls, "That's not true! That's impossible!"
Jaune decided, for once in his life, not to be the nice guy. Not to comfort her or try to make her feel better or pretend that this wasn't the most satisfying moment he'd had since... well, since last night, "Search your feelings, you know it to be true." Oh yeah, he was quoting Star Wars here. He deserved it. Weiss continued to look down at the floor, her face shattered, "So," he said, his voice dripping with smug satisfaction, "Got anything you'd like to say to me, Weiss?"
She looked up at him from her position on the floor, her face a mix of devastation and obvious reluctance. For a moment, he thought she'd actually try to argue with a literal omniscient being that knew everything.
But then...
"I'm... sorry," she mumbled, the words barely audible.
Jaune cupped his hand around his right ear and leaned forward with exaggerated confusion, "What was that? Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Could you speak up a little?"
If looks could kill, Weiss's glare would have reduced him to a pile of ash on the spot. But she was stuck, and they both knew it. You couldn't really argue with divine revelation, "I'M SORRY!" she shouted, her voice hoarse, "I'M SORRY FOR ACCUSING YOU OF CHEATING! I'M SORRY FOR NOT BELIEVING YOU! I'M SORRY FOR BEING A PARANOID, JEALOUS HARPY WHO DESTROYED OUR MARRIAGE OVER NOTHING!"
"And?" Jaune said, still grinning like the cat who'd caught the canary, eaten it, then gotten seconds.
Weiss looked like she was physically in pain, "And... And I'll...make it up to you."
Jaune took a deep breath. Oh yeah, this was the good stuff. Now, he wasn't stupid enough to think that Weiss was the only reason their marriage failed, but after months of accusations and sniping, he was just gonna let it simmer, "You definitely will," Jaune said, his grin somehow managing to get even wider, "Oh, you definitely will." He offered her a hand, which she reluctantly took, "First things first, you're gonna apologize to Ruby and Amber for treating them so weird."
"I've been nice to Ruby! I've been giving her gifts!"
"In-between calling her a slut and a homewrecker," Jaune reminded her gleefully. Weiss' face pinched like she sucked on a lemon, "And remember, you said you'd make it up to me. And a Schnee always pays their debts."
"That is not our family motto!" Weiss hissed, but the fight was gone. She was wrong and she knew it.
This was gonna be fun.
[line break]
End of the main chapters. May make an epilogue omake of Weiss being forced to eat crow and make up for her behavior. Poor Ruby's gonna be so confused.
Comments
Dennis Sedgwick
how do I get you to write more chapters
Dennis Sedgwick
Darn I wish you had more chapters lol
Dennis Sedgwick
I hope you get them together a few more chapters please
Manuel amores morales
It would be great if this somehow ended with Jaune x Ruby x Weiss
