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Mister and Missus Arc-Schnee - Chapter 2
🕑 Added 2025-04-18 15:31:34 +0000 UTCChapter 2. Commissioner confirmed this'll go on for about 4 chapters.
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[line break]
Ruby had been super excited for Combat Class. Like, jumping-on-her-bed-until-Weiss-threatened-to-freeze-her-feet-to-the-floor excited. This was what being at Beacon was all about! Learning to fight better! Showing off Crescent Rose! Getting tips from actual pro Huntsmen!
What she hadn't expected was to witness what could only be described as the most uncomfortable public meltdown in Beacon history.
It started innocently enough. Professor Goodwitch stood in the center of the combat arena, riding crop in hand, looking like she'd personally fight anyone who disrupted her class, "Today we will assess your combat abilities," she said, adjusting her glasses with one finger, "I need volunteers for our first match."
Weiss' hand shot up so fast it nearly broke the sound barrier, "Professor, Jaune and I will fight."
Ruby glanced at her partner in surprise. Weiss had barely spoken two words to Jaune all morning, and those words had been "move" and "idiot" when he'd accidentally stepped on her shoe. Professor Goodwitch raised an eyebrow, "It's unusual for teammates to spar against each other on the first day, Miss Schnee."
"I want to go," Jaune said, already standing up. He had a weird look on his face - kind of determined, kind of angry, and kind of something else Ruby couldn't identify.
Professor Goodwitch looked between them for a moment before nodding, "Very well. Please change into your combat outfits then come to the arena."
"Huh, one day and your teammates are already fighting," Yang said from the row behind Ruby, leaning forward, "My lien's on Weiss."
"Jaune is rather skilled," Pyrrha said, watching as he took his position across from Weiss, "I wouldn't count him out." Ruby wasn't sure what to expect. She'd only seen Jaune fight briefly during initiation, and while he'd been decent, he hadn't seemed like anything special. Weiss, on the other hand, had those cool glyphs and perfect swings.
The match began, and Ruby's jaw nearly hit the floor.
They were good. Like, really good. Weirdly good for first-year students.
Weiss moved like water, her rapier a blur of silver as she created glyph after glyph, launching herself around the arena with incredible speed. And were those... summons? Tiny glowing white Beowolves that charged at Jaune like angry puppies?
But Jaune was holding his own. His shield blocked everything Weiss threw at him, and he countered with sword strikes that showed years of training. His footwork was perfect, pivoting and sidestepping like he could predict Weiss' moves before she made them. He cut through the summons like they were made of paper and ignored one that slipped past and bit his ankle.
Ruby's eyes flicked between the fight and the Aura displays on the massive screen overhead. Professor Goodwitch had said the match would end when either contestant's Aura dropped to 70 percent. But the numbers were barely moving. Weiss was at 95%, Jaune at 97%.
"How much Aura do they have?" Ruby whispered, more to herself than anyone else. The fight was mesmerizing. They moved like they'd practiced fighting each other for years, anticipating feints, countering strategies, adjusting in real-time. It was less like a spar and more like a deadly dance between two experts. Every move perfectly executed then countered, like they knew exactly what the other one was gonna do before they did it.
And then something changed.
Jaune blocked a particularly aggressive thrust from Weiss, their faces inches apart over their locked weapons. He said something that Ruby couldn't hear from the stands, but his grin was all teeth and he looked almost manic.
Whatever he said, it made Weiss' face go fire dust red.
"What did you just say to me?!" she shrieked, loud enough for the entire arena to hear.
And just like that, all technique went out the window.
Weiss abandoned her rapier completely and tackled Jaune to the ground. Actually tackled him. Proper football-style, full-body launch. The co-CEO of the Schnee Dust Company was wrestling on the floor like a tavern brawler, "Holy shit!" Yang said, eyes wide and laughing, "This is awesome!"
Awesome was one word for it. Horrifying was another. Cataclysmic might have been the most accurate.
Jaune and Weiss rolled across the arena floor, a tangle of limbs and fury and- oh Brothers, was Weiss trying to gouge his eyes out?!
"I think we should stop them," Pyrrha murmured, "This doesn't seem like typical sparring behavior."
Before anyone could respond, Weiss delivered a devastating kick directly to Jaune's groin. Like, heel first. Every male student in the audience winced collectively. Several crossed their legs protectively. Even Professor Goodwitch looked horrified, "That's for missing our anniversary, you lying sack of-" Weiss' next words were cut off as Jaune, despite what must have been excruciating pain, grabbed a fistful of her pristine white ponytail and yanked. Hard.
Yang actually hissed, "Not the hair. Never the hair."
"Whitley was right about you!" Jaune bellowed as Weiss shrieked and clawed at his face.
Professor Goodwitch stepped forward, looking alarmed, "That's enough! The match is-"
Neither of them were listening. They were too busy trying to murder each other with their bare hands, their weapons completely abandoned on the arena floor, "You have a tiny dick!" Weiss screamed, loud enough that Ruby was pretty sure people all the way down in Vale could hear it. Ruby's face went as red as her cloak. Oh no. Oh no no no. This was not happening. This was not the kind of combat training she'd signed up for!
"You cum the second I go inside you!" Jaune roared back, somehow even louder, "One thrust and it's like a waterfall! And you screech like a banshee!" The entire class went dead silent for a split second before erupting into scandalized gasps and nervous laughter. Ruby wanted to sink through the floor and possibly all the way to the center of Remnant.
Weiss, apparently unaware or uncaring that they had an audience of shell-shocked classmates, wasn't done, "I faked every single orgasm! Every. Single. One!"
"By the Brothers," Blake whispered from somewhere behind Ruby, "Is this actually happening?"
It was. It absolutely was. And it was somehow getting worse by the second.
Professor Goodwitch was shouting for them to stop, her voice sharp with authority, but Jaune and Weiss were beyond hearing. They were in some kind of rage-fueled alternate dimension where only they existed, rolling around on the floor of the combat arena, screaming deeply personal sexual information at each other.
"You broke my grandpa's coffee table with your bony ass!" Jaune yelled.
"You cried after sex on our honeymoon! I still remember, Arc!" Weiss shrieked.
Ruby couldn't look away. It was like watching a Nevermore crash into a Dust refinery - horrific, but impossible to ignore. And apparently, she wasn't the only one. The entire class was quiet, watching with a mixture of horror and fascination, "Did... Did she say honeymoon?" Pyrrha asked quietly. Ruby had no answer. Her brain had short-circuited around the time Weiss had started discussing Jaune's d-dick.
The fight had devolved into something primal. Weiss had managed to flip Jaune onto his back and was sitting on his chest, slapping at his face while he pulled at her combat skirt. Their Aura meters were still barely below 90%, which was impressive considering how hard they were going at it..
And then Weiss straight-up bit Jaune on the cheek. Not a playful nip. A full-on, jaw-clenched, leaving-teeth-marks BITE. Ruby saw Jaune's Aura go down by two percent.
Jaune howled, "You bit me! Again! You crazy ice bitch!" Again?! What did he mean again?!
"Enough!" Professor Goodwitch shouted, and suddenly both Jaune and Weiss were floating six feet off the ground, suspended in a purple glow of the professor's telekinetic Semblance. They dangled there, still trying to claw at each other despite being held several feet apart.
"Miss Schnee! Mr. Arc!" Professor Goodwitch's voice could have frozen fire, "This behavior is absolutely unacceptable! You will both report to the headmaster's office immediately!" Neither of them seemed to hear her. They were still glaring at each other with enough intensity that Ruby half expected laser beams to shoot from their eyes.
"I hate your stupid face!" Weiss screamed.
"I hate your entire existence!" Jaune bellowed back.
Professor Goodwitch, apparently deciding that further conversation was pointless, simply floated them both out of the arena, their bodies still suspended in her telekinetic grip. They continued hurling insults at each other as they disappeared through the doors, their voices echoing down the hallway.
The class sat in stunned silence after they were gone, "Well," Professor Goodwitch said, smoothing her skirt and adjusting her glasses with impressive composure, "That was... irregular. Let's continue with the next match, shall we?"
Ruby couldn't move. She couldn't think. She just sat there, trying to process what she'd just witnessed, "So," Yang said, breaking the silence as she leaned forward to rest her chin on Ruby's shoulder, "Your partner and your teammate are either trying to kill each other or have some really intense history. Possibly both."
"They said they didn't know each other," Ruby whispered, still shell-shocked.
"Yeah, about that," Yang said, patting her shoulder consolingly, "I'm pretty sure they lied."
Ruby nodded weakly. The evidence suggested that not only did Weiss and Jaune know each other, but they knew each other in ways Ruby really, really wished she could un-hear, "Do you think they'll be kicked out of Beacon?" Pyrrha asked, looking genuinely worried.
She honestly had no idea. All she knew was that their team - Team RJWP, less than 24 hours old - was already the most dysfunctional group in the history of Huntsman academies.
"They better not get kicked out," she said finally, "Because if they do, I'm going to kill them both myself. With Crescent Rose. Slowly."
The scary part was she kind of meant it.
[line break]
Jaune rubbed his sore cheek as he and Weiss trudged back to their dorm room, the bite mark still throbbing despite his Aura's attempts to heal it. Ozpin's office had been... uncomfortable, to say the least. The headmaster had watched them with those unnerving eyes, fingers steepled beneath his chin, as they'd fumbled through explanations of "pre-existing tensions" and "combat high."
They'd carefully avoided mentioning anything about time travel, Salem, or their shared past-future-whatever. Not yet. Not while they were still figuring out their next moves. Better that he didn't risk dying and Oscar remain a farm boy in Anima, his brain uneaten by an ancient wizard with questionable judgment.
For his part, Ozpin hadn't seemed entirely convinced by their excuses, but he'd let them off with a warning and a week of detention scrubbing the dining hall after hours. A light punishment, all things considered. Jaune suspected the headmaster was more curious than angry, which was both good and bad. An intrigued Ozpin was a meddling Ozpin. As much as he kept the world safe until now, they didn't need someone hovering over their shoulder.
Weiss threw open the door to their dorm room, shoulders stiff with lingering rage. Ruby and Pyrrha were still in class, leaving them alone to stew in the aftermath of their very public meltdown, "I cannot believe," Weiss hissed as she slammed the door behind them, "That you thought it was appropriate to announce my sexual responses to an entire classroom of teenagers."
Jaune snorted, dropping onto the windowsill with his arms crossed, "Says the woman who informed all of Beacon that I have a 'tiny dick.' Which, by the way, is a blatant lie and you know it!" He tried not to think about how much she praised said part of his anatomy back in their old life.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Weiss said, voice dripping with sarcasm as she perched on the edge of her bed, "Should I have been more specific about the disappointing aspects of your anatomy?"Jaune tried not to notice the way her combat skirt rode up when she crossed her legs, exposing a few more inches of smooth, pale thighs. Nope. Not looking. That way lay madness and death. Probably his death, specifically, courtesy of Myrtenaster through his eye socket.
They sat in smoldering silence for several minutes, the tension so thick Jaune could have cut it with Crocea Mors.
Finally, Weiss spoke, "You're an asshole."
"And you're a bitch," Jaune shot back without hesitation.
Weiss' lips curled into a sneer, "Do you actually have a plan to stop the Fall, or are you just going to coast along and let me do all the strategic thinking as usual?"
Jaune shrugged, feigning nonchalance, "I was thinking I'd cut Cinder's throat and go from there. Simple, effective, minimal room for error."
"Short-sighted, as always," Weiss said, shaking her head, "We need a guarantee that her Maiden powers won't transfer to Emerald. Have you even considered that?" Jaune frowned at the name. Emerald. She'd ditched them shortly after they arrived in Vacuo and they never found her again. So much for her supposed redemption arc.
"Fine," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose, "What's your brilliant plan, then? Since you're obviously the strategic mastermind here."
Weiss straightened, a smug little smile playing at her lips, "It's actually quite simple. Cinder has no idea that we're anything besides regular first-year students. It shouldn't be too difficult to poison their drinks."
Jaune blinked, "I'm sorry, what?"
"Poison," Weiss repeated slowly, as if talking to a particularly dim child, "I can get my hands on some high-grade paralytics. There are a few formulations that work even against active Aura. Expensive, but money isn't an issue for me. They'll last long enough for us to deal with all three of them."
"Right," Jaune gave her a flat look, "You don't sound completely insane or anything. 'Hello, transfer students! Would you like some refreshing beverages laced with deadly neurotoxins'?"
Weiss rolled her eyes, "Don't be dramatic. We'd be subtle about it."
"Because subtle is definitely what we were today in combat class."
"That was different," Weiss said, having the grace to look slightly abashed, "You provoked me."
"I made one comment about how you used to like my sword technique!"
"It was clearly innuendo!"
Jaune threw up his hands, "Everything is innuendo to you! I can't even ask you to pass the salt without you thinking I'm making some kind of dirty joke!"
"Because you usually are!"
They were shouting again. Jaune took a deep breath, forcing himself to lower his voice. They couldn't afford another big fight, "Look," he said, trying for a reasonable tone, "I remember there's an Aura transfer machine in the vault beneath the school. We could use that to safely transfer the Maiden powers if we manage to capture Cinder. We can save that Amber woman."
Weiss looked surprised, like she hadn't expected him to come up with something actually useful. It was irritating how low her expectations of him still were, "That's... not a terrible idea," she admitted, "But we'd need to tell Ozpin. We can't exactly sneak into the vault."
"Yeah," Jaune agreed, "We'll have to loop him in at some point. Probably sooner rather than later."
"But Cinder isn't the only problem we need to address," Weiss said, ticking points off on her perfectly manicured fingers, "There's the White Fang operation in Mountain Glenn, Roman Torchwick and his psychotic little sidekick, Adam Taurus, and of course, Salem herself."
"One thing at a time," Jaune said, wondering how they were possibly going to handle all this without getting their friends killed. Again, "Cinder's the immediate threat. She's the lynchpin of the attack on Beacon. We take her out, everything else changes."
Weiss nodded, then added, "Taking down Raven Branwen would be advantageous as well. She's the Spring Maiden, and even if she's not aligned with Salem, she's using her powers to kill and enslave her way across Anima. It's frankly insulting that Ozpin's group hasn't dealt with her before now."
"Yeah," Jaune agreed, surprising himself. It was probably the first thing they'd agreed on all day, "Raven's a problem. And she has the Relic, or will have it eventually. I dunno. Yang was pretty vague on the details." They lapsed into silence again, but it was different now. Less hostile, more contemplative. They were on the same side, even if they couldn't stand each other. The fate of the world depended on them putting aside their personal issues, at least long enough to prevent the apocalypse.
"We should write this down," Weiss said suddenly, "Make a proper plan, with contingencies."
"You and your lists," Jaune said, but there was almost a fondness in his voice. Almost.
"My lists saved your ass more times than I can count," Weiss retorted. It was weird hearing her curse again. She looked almost innocent now that they were teenagers again. Not like the hardened, cold executive who had perpetual bags under her eyes even Aura couldn't fix.
"Your lists nearly got us killed in Vacuo."
"That wasn't the list's fault! That was your inability to follow simple instructions!"
And just like that, they were back to bickering. Some things never changed, no matter how much time travel was involved.
Jaune sighed, looking out the window at Beacon's pristine grounds. It was strange seeing the school whole again, untouched by the destruction that had marked the beginning of the end. They had a chance to preserve this, to save all the lives that had been lost the first time around. To turn their bittersweet ending into a happy one.
If they could just stop fighting long enough to actually do it.
"Truce?" he offered, not looking at Weiss, "For real this time. At least until we've dealt with Cinder and saved Pyrrha. We can hate each other as much as we want after."
There was a long pause.
"Fine," Weiss said finally, "Truce. But if you say one more thing about my 'explosive' temper, I will cut off your-"
The door burst open, revealing Ruby and Pyrrha, both looking apprehensive. They froze in the doorway, clearly expecting to walk in on the second Great War, "Oh!" Ruby said, silver eyes darting nervously between Jaune and Weiss, "You guys are... not killing each other?"
"We've reached an understanding," Weiss said primly, as if she hadn't been threatening Jaune Junior just seconds earlier.
"For now," Jaune added.
Pyrrha stepped into the room cautiously, "Professor Goodwitch explained that... tensions sometimes run high between partners during combat practice." She didn't sound convinced by the explanation but she was too nice to argue. Classic Pyrrha. He found himself smiling before he remembered that day, "But perhaps it would be beneficial if we discussed proper team communication strategies?"
Ruby nodded quickly, "Yeah! And maybe you guys could explain, you know, why you were talking about honeymoons and stuff? Because that was super weird and everyone's talking about it and Yang won't stop making jokes and-"
"No," Weiss and Jaune said in perfect unison.
Ruby's shoulders slumped, "But we're supposed to be a team! And teams don't keep secrets! Especially not... whatever that was in the arena."
Jaune and Weiss exchanged a look. For the second time today, they were in complete agreement: there was no way in hell they were explaining time travel, future marriage, and apocalyptic warfare to their teenage teammates. Some truths were better left unsaid.
"Would you believe we were both possessed by the ghosts of a dysfunctional married couple?" Jaune asked.
Ruby's flat stare was answer enough.
"We have... issues to work through," Weiss said diplomatically, "But we've agreed to be civil for the sake of the team."
"Civil," Pyrrha repeated, raising an eyebrow, "Is that what you call what happened today?"
"That was an anomaly," Weiss said.
"A one-time thing," Jaune nodded.
"It will not happen again," Weiss said, with the conviction of someone who absolutely knew it would happen again, probably within 24 hours.
Ruby didn't look convinced, but she seemed willing to let it go for now, "Well... okay. But if you guys start trying to kill each other again, I'm getting Professor Goodwitch, and she's waaaaay scarier than Professor Ozpin." She had no idea how true that was, Jaune thought. In the original timeline, Glynda Goodwitch had survived everything Salem had thrown at them, emerging from the final battle with barely a scratch while looking mildly annoyed at the inconvenience.
"Understood," Weiss said crisply.
As Ruby and Pyrrha began unpacking their books, chattering about the rest of their classes, Jaune caught Weiss' eye. She gave him a small, almost imperceptible nod. A silent agreement to continue their planning later, away from curious teammates.
Maybe they could pull this off after all. Assuming they didn't kill each other first.
[line break]
Ruby went through some hard stuff in her fifteen years of life. She'd fought Grimm, gotten into Beacon two years early, and convinced Dad to let her have cookies for dinner that one time when she was nine. But nothing - absolutely nothing - had prepared her for the complete and total weirdness that was having Weiss Schnee as a partner.
It had been two weeks since The Incident (which was what everyone called the combat class meltdown now, always with capital letters and hushed voices). Jaune and Weiss were serving their detention every night, scrubbing pots in the cafeteria and apparently managing not to murder each other, which Ruby counted as a win. She'd even caught them having what looked like an actual civil conversation yesterday, their heads bent together over some papers that they'd quickly hidden when she approached.
Progress! Maybe. Possibly. ...She wasn't holding her breath.
But while the Jaune-Weiss situation had stabilized from "active volcano" to "dormant volcano that might explode again at any moment," Ruby was still trying to figure out what the heck was going on with her partner.
Because Weiss Schnee was the most confusing person Ruby had ever met.
On the one hand, Weiss was super supportive. Like, aggressively supportive, "If you need anything at all, just ask me, Ruby. We're partners, after all," she'd say, at least twice a day, in this weirdly intense voice that made it sound like she was reminding herself as much as Ruby. She tutored Ruby in Dust studies without a single condescending comment. She made sure Ruby was eating properly. She even woke up early to train with Ruby before classes, offering genuinely helpful combat advice without any of the snark Ruby would have expected from someone who radiated "better than you" energy like it was her Semblance.
But then there were the other moments. The ones that made Ruby feel like she was missing some huge, obvious thing that everyone else understood. Like how Weiss would sometimes glare at her when she thought Ruby wasn't looking. Not an angry glare exactly, but suspicious, like she expected Ruby to suddenly rip off a mask and reveal herself as a Beowolf in disguise. Or the way she'd mutter under her breath sometimes when Ruby was talking to Jaune.
"Homewrecker," she'd hiss, barely audible.
"Skank," she'd murmur, while aggressively stabbing her salad at lunch.
That was the pattern. Weiss would be super supportive one moment, then mutter things like "homewrecker" and "just like her mother" the next. It was giving Ruby emotional whiplash. And then, just when Ruby was ready to confront her about it, Weiss would do something completely disarming.
Like yesterday, when she'd presented Ruby with a box of chocolate-covered strawberries, the super fancy kind from that expensive bakery in Vale.
"These are for you," Weiss had said, thrusting the box at Ruby with a smile that was almost warm, "To keep you from getting wandering eyes."
"Wandering... eyes?" Ruby had repeated, completely lost but already drooling at the sight of the strawberries, "Like, so I don't need glasses?"
Weiss had just patted her on the shoulder with a weird little laugh, "You're so funny, Ruby. Enjoy the strawberries. They're your favorite, right?"
And they were. Which was another weird thing. Weiss seemed to know all of Ruby's favorite things without being told. She'd given Ruby a red and black scarf last week, claiming it would "complement her combat outfit," but it was exactly the kind of scarf Ruby had been eyeing in a shop window the previous weekend. A shop they hadn't visited together and she never even went inside of because the thing had two too many zeroes for her liking.
Then there was the premium Dust. Ruby had been saving up for weeks to buy some for Crescent Rose's upgrades, and then Weiss had just... handed her a case of it. Top quality, perfectly suited for Ruby's specific weapon needs, "SDC's finest," Weiss had said with a dismissive wave when Ruby tried to thank her, "I have warehouses full of the stuff. It's nothing."
Maybe it was nothing to Weiss, but to Ruby, it was bizarre. Were all rich people this randomly generous? Was it a Schnee thing? A partner thing? A cover-up-for-whatever-weird-history-she-had-with-Jaune thing?
"I think you're her sugar baby," Yang had said that morning when she visited their dorm room, watching as Ruby unwrapped yet another gift. This time it was a special weapon-cleaning oil that smelled like roses. Actual roses.
"I'm her what?" Ruby had asked, completely baffled.
Yang had laughed so hard she'd fallen off her bed, "Never mind, sis. Just enjoy your rose-scented gun lube."
Ruby still had no idea what Yang meant, but she'd decided it was probably another one of those jokes that she'd understand when she was older. Or, given her current trajectory, one of those jokes she'd never understand, because her entire Beacon education was turning into a bizarre social experiment rather than actual Huntress training.
The most confusing part was that Weiss seemed to genuinely care about her well-being while simultaneously acting like she was some kind of threat. Which made absolutely no sense! Ruby couldn't intimidate Zwei, let alone the heiress to the largest Dust company on Remnant.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Yang asked, dropping down next to Ruby on the library bench a day later.
Ruby jumped, nearly dropping her comic book- uh, very serious study material! "Gah! Don't sneak up on me like that!"
"I called your name three times," Yang said, raising an eyebrow, "You were in the zone."
"I was thinking about Weiss," Ruby admitted, closing her comic, "She's so weird."
"Yeah, that's an understatement," Yang said, leaning back, "She give you any new gifts?"
Ruby nodded glumly, "This morning she gave me these." She scooted back slightly and raised her feet to show Yang a pair of combat boots that were exact replicas of her current ones, except they were lined with some kind of super-light material that made them feel like walking on clouds, "Then she said, and I quote, 'So you can run faster away from me when your Rose instincts kick in'." She said the name 'Rose' like a curse. Ruby didn't know whether to be offended or confused.
"Rose instincts? The hell does that mean?"
"I have no idea!" Ruby shook her head. But man, these boots felt awesome...
"You know, the whole Weiss-Jaune situation is like a soap opera. My team has a betting pool going on what they're actually fighting about."
"You do?" Ruby perked up, "What's your theory?"
Yang lowered her voice conspiratorially, "Well, Blake thinks they're ex-Huntsmen partners who had a falling out over a mission gone wrong. Ren thinks they're reincarnations of an old married couple. Nora thinks they're childhood friends who played house way too hard. But my money's on secret lovers from rival families, like a whole Montague-Capulet situation." Ruby almost laughed at the casual reference. Yang was a sucker for tragic romances no matter how old.
"Secret... lovers?" Ruby whispered, eyes wide, "But they hate each other!"
"Thin line between love and hate, Rubes," Yang said with a wink, "And nobody fights that dirty unless they've seen each other naked."
Ruby's face burned at the memory of the combat class. The things they'd shouted at each other.., "But they're our age! When would they have had time to... you know..." She waved a hand nervously. Sex was weird. Everyone her year back at Signal was running around all hormonal like while she was still focused on weapons and, you know, being a Huntress. Who ahd time for all that junk about prom and dating and whatever?
"Secret summer romance?" Yang suggested, "Forbidden tryst at a Dust conference? Weekend in Vacuo that got out of hand? The possibilities are endless."
Ruby frowned and thought about it. It didn't seem right. The way Weiss and Jaune fought was too... personal. Too specific. And there was the whole "honeymoon" thing they'd shouted about,"Yang," she said slowly, "Do you think it's possible they're, like... married?"
Yang snorted, "At seventeen? Not likely. Besides, who would officiate a wedding for minors? I can't even get a drink down in Vale and I'm training to fight Grimm, "
"Yeah, you're right," Ruby said, but something still nagged at her. The way Weiss and Jaune seemed to know things - about each other, about the school, about their classmates - that they shouldn't know. The way they'd sometimes slip and reference events that hadn't happened.
Like last week, when Pyrrha had been practicing her Semblance and Jaune had casually mentioned something about "the food fight," only to freeze and hastily change the subject when she asked what he meant. Or how Weiss somehow knew that Professor Port's first name was Peter, even though he'd never introduced himself as anything but "Professor Port" in class. She brushed it off by saying that she looked him up on the school site, but his picture there said. 'P. Port.'
Little things. Weird things. Things that didn't add up.
"Maybe they're time travelers," Ruby joked weakly.
Yang burst out laughing, "Yeah, right! And I've with magical powers."
Ruby laughed too, but the idea stuck with her. Not seriously, of course - time travel was impossible, even in a world with Semblances and Dust and Grimm. But it would explain a lot. Like why Weiss kept giving her those suspicious little glares, then showering her with gifts. Or why Jaune sometimes looked at Pyrrha with this heartbreaking sadness, like he was seeing a ghost. Or why both of them seemed to know exactly when Professor Goodwitch would call on students in class.
Ruby was still pondering this when a shadow fell over her. She looked up to find Weiss standing there, holding yet another wrapped package.
"Ruby," Weiss said, her smile just a little too bright, "I got you something."
"Another present?" Ruby asked, barely hiding her exasperation, "Weiss, you don't have to keep buying me stuff."
"Nonsense," Weiss said, thrusting the package at her, "That's what partners do. Support each other. With gifts. And not stealing each other's significant others." The last part was muttered so quietly that Ruby almost missed it.
"What was that last part?"
"Nothing!" Weiss said brightly, "Just open it."
Ruby unwrapped the package to find a beautiful red leather journal with her emblem embossed on the cover.
"I noticed you like to sketch weapon designs," Weiss said, looking pleased with herself, "I thought you might like something special to draw in."
It was actually a really thoughtful gift. Ruby ran her fingers over the embossed rose symbol, genuinely touched, "This is really nice, Weiss. Thank you."
Weiss beamed, then her expression suddenly darkened as she looked past Ruby. Ruby turned to see Jaune entering the library, accompanied by Pyrrha.
"I have to go," Weiss said abruptly, "Study... things. Enjoy your journal! Remember, partnerships are sacred and should never be betrayed!" And with that, she stalked off toward Jaune and Pyrrha, interrupting whatever conversation they were having with a vehemence that suggested it was a matter of life and death.
Yang watched her go, then turned back to Ruby with raised eyebrows, "Still think she's a time traveler and not just crushing on you super hard?"
"Crushing on me?" Ruby spluttered, "That's ridiculous! She's just being a good partner!"
"Uh-huh," Yang said skeptically, "A good partner who glares at Jaune every time he talks to you and buys you fancy gifts with little roses on them. Shit, I wish Blake was that good with me."
"It's not like that!" Ruby huffed, though a small, confused part of her wondered if maybe, possibly, Yang might be onto something. And if Ruby was against the idea or not, "She's just... Weiss. Being Weiss-y."
"If you say so," Yang said, clearly unconvinced, "But if she starts writing you poetry or trying to take you to fancy restaurants, don't say I didn't warn you."
Ruby clutched her new journal to her chest, watching as Weiss cornered Jaune by the history section, jabbing a finger at his chest while Pyrrha looked on in bewilderment. Whatever was going on with her partner, Ruby was determined to figure it out. If Weiss was hiding something - whether it was a crush, a secret past with Jaune, or some arranged marriage divorce - Ruby would get to the bottom of it. After all, that's what partners did. Support each other, figure out each other's weird behavior, and accept way too many expensive gifts without asking too many questions.
Also, kill Grimm. But that part actually seemed easier than understanding Weiss Schnee.
[line break]
Jaune had learned to recognize the signs of Weiss Schnee plotting something. The slightly narrowed eyes. The too-casual posture. The way she'd tap her index finger against her thumb when she thought no one was looking. After five years of marriage and thirteen years of knowing her, he was practically a professional Weiss-decoder. Maybe even better than Ruby had been. Would be. Whatever. Time travel terminology sucked.
So when she'd announced at breakfast that she was 'inviting' the team down to Vale to see the festival preparations, his internal alarm bells had immediately started ringing, "It'll be fun!" she'd said with a smile so forced it looked painful, "Team bonding!"
Ruby had nearly choked on her cereal, "You... want to hang out? With us? For fun?"
"Is that so hard to believe?" Weiss had asked, her eye twitching slightly.
"Yes," all three of them had answered in unison. Even Pyrrha.
But somehow, here they were, stepping off the airship in Vale. Jaune had managed not to vomit this time. Small victories. His teenage body might be gangly and awkward, but at least he'd overcome the motion sickness through sheer force of will and the memory of Yang's relentless "Vomit Boy" mockery., "Oh!" Weiss said, with all the subtlety of an Ursa in a porcelain shop, "Ruby, Pyrrha, could you check if that shop over there has any Dust rounds? I've been meaning to restock."
Ruby frowned, "But you just bought like a ton of premium Dust last week. You gave half of it to me, remember?" Probably while calling her a skank and making veiled threats about how the bullets would be going through her back if she tried anything.
"Different kind," Weiss said quickly, "Very specific. Technical. You wouldn't understand. I had it specially ordered."
"I'm pretty good with Dust, actually-"
"Pyrrha needs help carrying it!" Weiss blurted out.
Pyrrha, who'd been watching this exchange with bemused confusion, blinked, "I do?"
"Yes," Weiss said, eyes boring into Pyrrha with laser intensity, "You do."
"Oh," Pyrrha said slowly, catching on that something weird was happening, "Yes. I... need help. With the carrying. Of the Dust." Jaune didn't know whether to smile or sigh at Pyrrha's dogged determination to be nice and not rock the boat.
"Great!" Weiss clapped her hands together, "Off you go! Jaune and I will wait right here."
As soon as Ruby and Pyrrha were out of earshot, Jaune turned to Weiss with a raised eyebrow, "Subtle."
"Shut up," Weiss said, dropping the fake smile, "We need to talk."
"About what? Your complete inability to act like a normal human being?"
"No, you insufferable oaf. About our plan for today."
Jaune crossed his arms, leaning against a nearby lamppost, "What plan? You didn't tell me about any plan."
"That's because you've been avoiding me for the past three days."
"I haven't been avoiding you. I've been strategically minimizing my exposure to your particular brand of crazy." Mostly because he'd made a comment about her push-up bra and barely avoided being turned into a Jaune-cicle.
Weiss' nostrils flared, but she seemed to physically restrain herself from escalating. Progress, Jaune supposed, "We have two objectives today," she said, all business, "First, we need to meet Penny."
"Penny?" Jaune's heart gave a little pang at the name. Penny Polendina, the robot girl with more humanity than most humans he'd known. Cut down by...by him during the evacuation of Atlas. She'd asked for it - begged him to, really - and it was because of her sacrifice that he and the rest of team RWBY made it through the portal with the staff.
"Yes," Weiss said, "In our original timeline, we - well, I - literally bumped into her while we were chasing Sun Wukong around. This time, I'm not going to be racist about the faunus situation, so we'll just 'happen' to run into Penny, and then I'll subtly make it so that Ruby and Penny become best friends." She made it sound like the most cunning plan on Remnant.
"Why?" Jaune asked, though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.
Sure enough, Weiss' expression turned slightly maniacal, "Because I care about Ruby, and hopefully Penny will keep Ruby's eyes from wandering like she did last time around." Jaune sighed, not even bothering to correct her about the non-existent cheating. Weiss had constructed her own reality around their divorce, and no amount of evidence was going to change her mind. He didn't really know how to feel about her downright schizophrenic treatment of Ruby.
"And the second objective?" he asked instead.
"Today is the day that Roman Torchwick and the White Fang steal Dust from the docks," Weiss said, checking her scroll, "I've made sure that the deliveries for Vytal weren't interrupted despite my coup against my father. Originally, this was when Blake ran off after I made some... insensitive comments about the faunus, and she and Sun encountered Roman at the docks."
"Right," Jaune said, remembering when Ruby told team JNPR second-hand all those years back. Back then, he'd been pettily jealous, thinking that team RWBY was off having all the fun adventures, "And then the rest of you showed up later."
"Exactly. I wished I'd been at From Dust Till Dawn when Ruby first fought Torchwick, but I had something to deal with." She clicked her tongue, "It's fine. The two of us can handle him this time, and Blake won't need to run off to prove the White Fang's involvement." Jaune nodded slowly. Despite his issues with Weiss, he had to admit it was a solid plan. They could apprehend Torchwick months ahead of schedule, potentially preventing a lot of the chaos that had led to the Breach.
Neo was gonna be a problem though...
"You must've noticed it, by the way," she said airily, "Our Aura."
Jaune grunted. He kenw what she meant. For some reason, their Auras had doubled when they got sent back, and they'd advanced rapidly. He'd unlocked his Semblance and Weiss could summon years ahead of schedule. Neither of them knew the exact reason why, but Weiss theorized that maybe it was because their souls had been sent back. And since Aura was the soul made manifest, they'd esentially compounded it. Jaune didn't really know how valid that sounded, and he didn't really care.
All he knew was that it'd make fighting Torchwick, Cinder, and everyone else easier. They'd be expecting first years, not fully-trained Huntsmen with double the Aura they should have had. Which in his case, was a lot.
"So we go to the docks tonight," he said.
"Yes. But first, Penny." Weiss checked her scroll again, "She should be around here somewhere..."
As if on cue, Ruby and Pyrrha emerged from the Dust shop, looking confused, "They said they don't have any special technical Dust orders," Ruby said, giving Weiss a suspicious look.
"How strange. I was so sure I ordered from them," Weiss said, not sounding surprised at all, "Well, let's continue our tour, shall we?"
They walked through the bustling streets of Vale, Weiss keeping a keen eye out for a certain orange-haired girl. Jaune found himself doing the same, a mix of anticipation and dread swirling in his stomach. Seeing people who had died in the original timeline - Penny, Pyrrha - was simultaneously heartwarming and heartbreaking.
"Oh!" Weiss suddenly exclaimed, stopping short, "I think I see- oomph!" She was cut off as someone collided with her from behind, sending her stumbling forward. Jaune caught her reflexively, his hands gripping her waist to steady her. For a brief moment, they were pressed together, faces inches apart, and Jaune was hit with a wave of unwelcome familiarity. Her perfume - winter pines and frost - hadn't changed, and he felt how soft her skin was even through her dress.
Weiss' face flushed and she jerked away from him like she'd been burned, whirling around to face the person who'd bumped into her.
"Salutations!" And there she was. Penny Polendina, looking exactly as Jaune remembered. Bright orange hair, big green eyes, and that slightly stiff, too-perfect posture that hinted at her non-human nature, "I apologize for the collision!" Penny said, giving a little bow, "I was not properly calibrating my direction of movement!"
Weiss smiled. A genuine smile, not the forced grimace she'd been sporting earlier, "It's quite alright," she said, "No harm done. I'm Weiss Schnee, and these are my teammates: Ruby Rose, Pyrrha Nikos, and Jaune Arc."
Penny's eyes widened slightly at each name, like she was recording them to memory. Which, Jaune realized, she probably was. "It is a pleasure to meet you all!" Penny said, "My name is Penny! I'm here for the tournament!"
"You're a fighter?" Pyrrha asked, perking up with interest.
"I'm combat ready!" Penny confirmed with an enthusiastic salute. He tried not to think of her begging him to kill her.
Weiss smiled again, looking at Ruby expectantly. This was clearly the moment in her master plan where Ruby and Penny were supposed to bond. Time for the subtle manipulation to work its magic. "It's lovely to meet you, Penny," Weiss said, her voice dripping with uncharacteristic warmth, "Ruby, perhaps you'd like to hang out with our new friend Penny here? I'm sure you two would get along splendidly. You seem like you have much in common!"
Jaune nearly choked trying not to laugh. Subtle was definitely not Weiss' strong suit.
Penny tilted her head, processing this. And then, instead of turning to Ruby as Weiss had so transparently orchestrated, she took a step closer to Weiss, "Friend?" she repeated, leaning in so close that Weiss had to lean back, "Did you just call me... friend?"
Weiss' eyes widened as she realized her mistake, "I, uh- well, what I meant was-"
"Are we friends?" Penny pressed, her green eyes huge and hopeful. Hungry for connection.
"I- that is- Ruby is the one who- " Weiss stammered, looking frantically at Ruby for help. But Ruby, bless her oblivious heart, was distracted by a weapons shop across the street and left her partner to fend for herself. Jaune and Pyrrha shared a look, Jaune barely holding back a shit-eating grin while Pyrrha looked both confused and worried. He shook his head.
"Sensational!" Penny said, clasping her hands together, "I've never had a friend before! This is such a momentous occasion! Friend Weiss, we must commemorate this development in our relationship!" Jaune couldn't hold it in anymore. He burst out laughing, earning a death glare from Weiss that only made him laugh harder. She'd been so determined to push Penny and Ruby together, and now she was stuck with an enthusiastic robot girl who'd imprinted on her like a baby duckling.
"I'm not- we're not-" Weiss tried, but Penny was already looping her arm through Weiss', practically vibrating with excitement. No, wait, she was literally vibrating.
"What activities do friends typically engage in?" Penny asked, "I have compiled a list of potential friendship rituals from my observations, but firsthand data would be most valuable!"
"Ruby," Weiss said desperately, "Don't you want to be friends with Penny too?! She seems right up your alley! Enthusiastic! Weapon-oriented! Not at all like me!"
Ruby, finally tuning back into the conversation, smiled, "Uh, sure! The more friends, the merrier! But it looks like you guys are already hitting it off, so don't mind me."
"Perfect!" Penny said, "Friend Weiss and Friend Ruby! This exceeds all expectations for my first day of autonomous exploration!"
Jaune was pretty sure he'd cracked a rib from trying to suppress his laughter. The look of absolute horror on Weiss' face as she realized she was now stuck with the very friend she'd tried to pawn off on Ruby was priceless, "So, Penny," Jaune said, deciding to twist the knife a bit, "Weiss was just saying how much she loves showing new friends around Vale. I bet she'd be thrilled to give you a personal tour."
If looks could kill, Jaune would have been a smoking crater in the pavement. Weiss' glare promised slow, painful retribution, "Is that true, Friend Weiss?" Penny asked, eyes shining with hope.
"I... yes," Weiss managed through gritted teeth, "Nothing would make me happier."
"Sensational! Perhaps we could begin with an analysis of local cuisine? I am most curious about the concept of 'comfort food' and its psychological effects!" As Penny began dragging Weiss toward a nearby cafe, chattering excitedly about friendship protocols and nutritional intake, Jaune caught his ex-wife's eye over Penny's shoulder. He grinned and gave her a little wave, enjoying her predicament far more than he probably should have.
Weiss mouthed what looked suspiciously like "I will end you" before being pulled through the café door by her enthusiastic new best friend.
"Well," Jaune said to Ruby and Pyrrha, "that wasn't how I expected this trip to go, but I can't say I'm disappointed."
"Weiss made a friend!" Ruby said, sounding genuinely happy, "That's great! She needs to do more than just calling me names and buying me stuff." Pyrrha nodded politely, though she still looked confused by the whole interaction.
Jaune glanced at his scroll, checking the time. They still had hours before the White Fang would show up at the docks. And now it seemed like he'd be handling that situation alone, since Weiss was busy with her new BFF. He couldn't wait to remind her of this spectacular backfire the next time she accused him of being the incompetent one in their relationship.
Former relationship, he corrected himself mentally. Very, very former.
Though watching her squirm under Penny's enthusiastic friendship advances had been oddly... endearing? No, that wasn't the right word. Hilarious. That was it. Definitely hilarious, not endearing at all.
[line break]
Chapter 3 has them clowning the villains and Ozpin/Ironwood getting a massive infodump.
Comments
KirbyKingShip
I love their dynamic and I will say once again…. INJECT THIS DIRECTLY INTO MY VEINS AHHHH!!
BA
Ah, so its an AU world where he never fell to the EA then. Funny fight as well, although the whole Penny situation was the best part of the chapter. As well as Yang calling Ruby Weiss's sugar baby
Yugo Strange
Man this chapter was a riot to Read, wish I had popcorn
Noahsteelman
So Jaune never cheated. I feel like I should of figured it out earlier, also Poor poor Roman. next chapter the clowning session will begin hopefully he’ll at least lose in style , and if he dies he’ll be dressed for the occasion
