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RWBY Oneshots and Shorts Repository - Ruby and Weiss' Slashery Vacation
🕑 Added 2024-12-20 04:09:03 +0000 UTCShorter one. This one has Ruby and Weiss ending up in a slasher film. Except they have Aura while the killers don't. Cue curb stomp.
I've got two possible ideas based on some discussions on my discord. Not sure which one, though:
- Something similar to Chapter 1, except the twist is Jaune is trying hard to not be a harem protagonist rather than dying as a mob. He thinks harems are overrated and too much trouble. This being Jaune, he fails and gets a harem despite his best efforts.
- Ruby figures out the key to world peace: have every Huntress in Remnant date Jaune! She's dating Jaune and she's happy, so clearly, the solution to all these problems is for everyone to get a piece of Jaune! She starts by convincing Weiss. First her bestie, then the world!
Patreon Note - I'm writing a soft/fluffy Jaune x Neo smut for Dedicated Readers. I imagine that it'll be a good palate cleanser from all the non-con in the past few exclusives.
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Ruby couldn't help but feel a tingle of excitement as the beat-up van rattled down the dirt road, its suspension groaning in protest with every bump. Sure, it wasn't her typical idea of a vacation, but sometimes you had to step outside your comfort zone, right? And with Crescent Rose and Myrtenaster back at Beacon for tuning, Weiss had insisted they take a short trip to 'unwind'. Ruby agreed. Some personal time with her bestie sounded awesome!
"This is not unwinding," Weiss muttered, her arms crossed tightly as she glared out the window at the dense forest surrounding them. Her pristine white outfit was painfully out of place against the grimy interior of the van, and the smell of stale snacks and spilled drinks wasn't helping her mood.
"It's fun!" Ruby chirped from her seat, trying to stay optimistic, "It's, uh, rustic! You don't get places like this in Atlas, right?"
"Because Atlas has standards," Weiss replied sharply, wrinkling her nose as the van hit another pothole and sent her bouncing against the threadbare seat, "Why did I agree to this again?"
Ruby grinned sheepishly, "Because you promised to give this a shot, and it's only for a weekend! Besides, the brochure said it's got 'a classic charm'." Despite her looks, Ruby loved camping out and stuff. You don't survive in a place like Patch without knowing how to rough it.
Weiss snorted, "I doubt that includes functioning plumbing."
Ruby leaned over and pointed ahead, "Look, we're almost there!"
The forest opened up to reveal a decrepit lodge that looked like it had been dragged out of a bad horror movie. The building sagged visibly in the middle, the paint peeled in long strips, and an old sign creaked above the door, faintly spelling out Rustwood Inn. Or at least, she assumed it meant that. The faded letters made it spell out R_s_w_od _nn inn instead, "This is where we die," Weiss said flatly, clutching her bag like a lifeline.
The van screeched to a halt, and the driver, a gruff man with a beer gut and a patchy beard, turned back to them with a grin that was missing more than a few teeth, "Welcome to Rustwood, ladies! You'll love it here. Ain't nothin' like it in all a Saunus!"
Ruby and Weiss climbed out, and their fellow travelers - if you could call them that - followed suit. There was the muscular guy in a tank top who immediately started flexing and making offhand comments about his gym routine. The girl in the crop top and shorts giggled and twirled her hair, clearly hanging on every word the muscular guy said. A tall, quiet man with glasses and a notebook seemed to be writing down everything, muttering to himself about 'good material'.
"Why does this feel like we've stepped into the most cliché setup imaginable?" Weiss whispered to Ruby, eyeing the group with suspicion.
The van driver clapped his hands together, "Alright, everyone! I'll be back to pick y'all up Sunday afternoon. Y'all behave now, and don't go wandering too far. Forest ain't always friendly."
Ruby turned to Weiss with a nervous laugh, "Okay, that wasn't ominous at all."
Weiss rolled her eyes, "Let's just get this over with."
Inside, the lodge wasn't much better. The air smelled faintly of mildew, the furniture looked like it hadn't been cleaned in decades, and the receptionist, an older woman with a deep scowl and a cigarette dangling from her lips, gave them a once-over that made Ruby squirm, "Room's upstairs. Don't leave your trash around," the woman grunted, sliding them a rusted key without looking up from her crossword. She let out a hacking cough that shook the walls.
Ruby and Weiss exchanged a look.
"Charming," Weiss muttered.
The day continued and Ruby tried to keep things positive, despite Weiss's constant critiques and the increasingly strange behavior of their companions. The muscular guy kept challenging everyone to arm wrestling matches; the girl in the crop top wouldn't stop talking about her social media following, even though they clearly didn't have signal out here; and the notebook guy vanished for long stretches, muttering something about 'immersion'.
Dinner was served at a long, uneven table by the receptionist and a man who Ruby assumed was her husband - a wiry, hunched figure with sunken eyes and a perpetually sour expression. They didn't say much, but their glances lingered just a little too long, especially when someone asked about the scratches on the walls or the faint brown stains on the floorboards.
"Don't mind the mess," the receptionist said with a wave of her cigarette, "Place is old. It's got history."
"Sure does," the muscular guy said, shoveling food into his mouth like he'd never seen a fork before.
Weiss leaned toward Ruby, keeping her voice low, "Doesn't this seem a little...off to you?"
Ruby shrugged, "It's not great, but maybe that's just the vibe they're going for? You know, like an old-timey lodge?" She grew up at a cabin in the woods. She was pretty used to places like this.
"Old-timey doesn't mean creepy." Weiss stabbed her fork into a questionable piece of meat and frowned, "I don't trust this place, and I blame you and your stupid puppy dog eyes for dragging me here." Ruby hesitated. She couldn't deny that there was something about the lodge - and its caretakers - that felt off. Still, they had Aura, and even without their weapons, they weren't exactly defenseless. What was the worst that could happen?
That night, as the group settled into their rooms, Ruby lay on the creaky bed, staring up at the cracked ceiling. Weiss was already tucked in, muttering about how she was going to burn her dress after this trip, "Hey, Weiss?" Ruby said softly.
"What?"
"You think this place is haunted?"
Weiss sighed heavily, "No. It's probably just run by lunatics who'll charge us far more than it's worth."
Ruby smiled faintly and closed her eyes. It wasn't long before sleep overtook her.
Outside the lodge, in the deep shadows of the forest, figures moved. Lumbering shapes with crude masks, heavy tools, and twisted grins. The door to the lodge creaked open, and the receptionist's husband emerged, nodding silently to the approaching group, "Everyone's settled in," he rasped, his voice like rust scraping metal, "It's time for the harvest."
The figures crept toward the lodge, dragging their weapons behind them. Their giddy chuckles were muffled by the wind as they prepared to begin their night of terror.
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The night erupted with the deafening roar of chainsaws, the shriek of power tools, and the gleeful cackling of slasher killers as the lodge's fragile peace shattered like glass. Ruby bolted upright in bed, her heart hammering in her chest as the sound of splintering wood filled the air.
Weiss shot her an annoyed glare from across the room, already halfway out of bed and looking thoroughly unamused, "What in the world is going on now?"
Before Ruby could respond, the door to their room was kicked open with a dramatic crash. A hulking figure stood silhouetted in the doorway, wielding a massive chainsaw that roared to life with a sputtering growl. The figure's crudely stitched mask and lumbering stance screamed slasher movie villain. And, like, not the good slasher movie villain. More like the kind you'd see direct-to-video stuff where the crew clearly didn't have the budget.
Ruby blinked, "Uh, Weiss?"
"Yes, Ruby?" Weiss said, already cracking her knuckles with an icy calm.
"Is...is this really happening?"
Weiss sighed, "Yes. And it's annoying."
The chainsaw-wielding man let out a guttural howl and charged. Ruby yelped, throwing herself to the side as the blade tore through the headboard of her bed, showering splinters everywhere, "Okay, I'll admit that's a little scary!" she shouted, rolling to her feet.
Weiss, however, remained perfectly still, her expression dripping with disdain. As the masked figure swung the chainsaw toward her, she casually sidestepped, letting the blade embed itself into the wall. Before the man could yank it free, Weiss delivered a sharp kick to his chest, sending him stumbling backward into the hallway, "Idiots," Weiss muttered, brushing her hands off. She put on her heels like a chainsaw guy hadn't just tried to kill them.
Ruby stared, "You just kicked a guy with a chainsaw."
Weiss glared at her, "Ruby, we have Aura. We routinely fight Grimm the size of houses. This man, judging from his reaction, does not have Aura. This is hardly a fair fight. Now put your shoes on unless you want to fight barefoot."
As they stepped into the hallway, chaos unfolded around them. The power had been cut, leaving the lodge bathed in flickering candlelight. The other would-be victims - the muscular guy, the giggly girl, and the notebook guy - were running in every direction, screaming as more masked figures chased them with an assortment of deadly tools. A hulking brute with a meat cleaver cornered the girl in the crop top, while another figure dragged a sledgehammer down the hall toward the muscular guy.
Ruby looked around, her silver eyes wide with disbelief, "Wow, this really is just like a slasher movie!"
Weiss grabbed her by the arm and pulled her forward, "And like every slasher movie you and Yang have forced me to watch, it's full of idiots on both sides. Let's just clean this up and go back to bed."
"Clean this up?" Ruby squeaked, "We don't even have our weapons!"
Weiss raised an eyebrow, "So? We still have Aura, and their 'weapons' are more rust than metal. They can't even hurt us."
Another masked killer lunged at them, brandishing a massive drill. Ruby yelped and ducked as the spinning bit whirred past her head. Instinct took over, and she swung her leg out, catching the attacker in the shin. To her amazement, the man crumpled instantly, groaning in pain as he hit the floor. Ruby blinked, staring down at her outstretched leg, "Did...Did I just beat someone without Crescent Rose?"
"Don't get used to it," Weiss said dryly, stepping over the groaning man.
Ruby grinned, her confidence building, "No, seriously! I'm actually good at this!" She turned and punched another would-be killer square in the mask, sending him flying into a nearby table and cracking his mask into little tiny pieces, "Did you see that? I actually hit him! And he stayed down!"
Weiss was busy dismantling her own opponent - a wiry man with a rusted hatchet - using nothing but well-placed kicks and the occasional shove. The man swung wildly at her, but Weiss dodged with ease, her movements sharp and precise. After a few seconds, she grabbed the hatchet mid-swing and yanked it out of his hands before slamming her knee into his stomach. The guy threw up a bit, and Weiss shrieked as bits of it landed on her skirt.
"You'll pay for that! Literally!" Weiss tossed the hatchet at another charging killer. It landed handle-first on her face and she flipped through the air twice before landing on a crumpled heap face-first on the ground.
Ruby clapped her hands together, "Weiss! You're winning a one-on-one! That never happens!"
Weiss froze, her eye twitching, "Excuse me?"
"I mean, you're usually great in teams, but, like, solo fights aren't your thing, right? Remember that chainsaw guy in the train? Then the fight with Flynt in the Vytal tournament?"
Weiss whipped around to glare at her, her pale cheeks flushing slightly, "Ruby, I will throw you at the next masked idiot I see if you don't shut up!" Ruby raised her hands in mock surrender, a cheeky grin plastered across her face.
The chaos continued, though it was increasingly clear that the so-called "killers" were hopelessly outmatched. One by one, Ruby and Weiss beat them down without even really trying. The hulking brute with the meat cleaver ended up sprawled unconscious in the hallway after Weiss smashed a chair over his head. The notebook guy, who had somehow gotten his foot stuck in a bucket, was rescued when Ruby dropkicked his attacker into a pile of broken furniture. She didn't even need to use her Semblance. Just, like, dropkick.
Eventually, the last of the masked figures stumbled toward the door, clutching his sledgehammer and wheezing heavily. Weiss stepped forward, her hands on her hips, "Are we done here?" she asked, her voice sharp and cutting.
The man charged towards them, screaming about a harvest. Ruby punched him in the gut and he crumpled to the ground, crying for his mommy, "Well, that was...weirdly easy." Ruby said, looking down at the wheezing old man. She almost felt bad.
Weiss sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Of course it was. These imbeciles thought they could take on Huntresses-in-training without any Aura and rusty tools."
Ruby nodded thoughtfully, "Yeah, that was kind of dumb. But also, did you see me punch that guy? Like, really punch him?"
"Yes, Ruby. Congratulations. Now shut up and help me drag these into a locked room so the others stop screaming."
As the chaos died down, the lodge began to settle into an uneasy quiet. The masked killers were sprawled across the floor or tied up with whatever Ruby and Weiss could scrounge - bedsheets, curtain cords, and one guy hogtied with his own suspenders. The would-be victims, meanwhile, were clustered together in varying states of disarray.
The muscular jock, somehow miraculously unscathed despite contributing absolutely nothing, puffed out his chest and swaggered toward Ruby and Weiss, "Well," he said, with a grin that made Weiss instantly regret surviving the night, "I guess you ladies owe me a thank-you. Couldn't have done it without me."
Ruby blinked, tilting her head, "Uh...what did you do, exactly?"
The jock smirked and crossed his arms, flexing for no apparent reason, "Kept their attention, obviously. Gave you the opening to take them down. Classic team effort, babe." He gave them a winning smile that would've made Cardin proud.
His girlfriend (Ruby assumed she was his girlfriend), still clutching his arm, nodded enthusiastically, "He was soooo brave! You should've seen him!"
Weiss's eye twitched. She took a step forward, brushing past Ruby and standing nose-to-nose with the jock, who immediately took a step back despite being a foot taller than her.
"Let me be perfectly clear," Weiss said, her voice icy enough to freeze the air around them, "You did nothing. We handled the attackers. We saved your sorry hides. And while normally I would not hold that against you given that you're a civilian, I will not have some...arrogant meathead claim credit that he didn't earn. So if you ever take credit for someone else's work again, I will personally see to it that you're buried in this wretched lodge's basement. Am I understood?"
The jock swallowed audibly, his bravado melting under Weiss's glare, "Uh...yeah. Totally. My bad."
Weiss turned away with a sharp huff, muttering under her breath about 'arrogant muscle-heads and 'the absolute nerve', "Don't you think you're being a bit hard on him? Like you said, they're civilians," Ruby said.
"I hate arrogant blowhards, Ruby, it doesn't matter if they're a civilian or not."
Before Ruby could chime in to defuse the tension, the lights flickered again.
The air seemed to grow heavier, and the faint sound of chains clinking echoed through the lodge. A new figure emerged from the shadows, hulking and monstrous, easily twice the size of the other killers. This one's mask was made of jagged scraps of metal, and he carried an enormous hammer that looked like it could level a small building. His labored breathing rasped through the room as he dragged the hammer behind him, gouging deep grooves into the floorboards.
The girlfriend screamed. The jock screamed louder. The glasses guy fainted on the spot, his notebook tumbling to the ground beside him.
Ruby gawked at the enormous figure, "Uh, Weiss? That one looks...bigger."
Weiss crossed her arms, utterly unimpressed, "It's still an idiot without Aura."
"What if he does have Aura?"
"There's two of us and we have Huntress training. I think we'll survive," Weiss said dryly.
The hulking killer let out a guttural roar and charged. The hammer swung wide, aiming straight for Weiss, but she didn't flinch. She sidestepped at the last possible second, letting the hammer crash into the floor, sending splinters flying everywhere.
"Predictable," Weiss muttered. The killer raised the hammer again, but Weiss darted forward, her movements sharp and precise. She delivered a swift kick to the back of his knee, forcing him to stumble. Before he could recover, she grabbed a nearby chair and smashed it over his head, the wooden frame splintering into pieces. Nope, no Aura flash. The big guy didn't have Aura either. What little nervousness Ruby had disappeared as she watched her partner go to town on the guy.
The killer staggered, groaning, and swung wildly with his hammer. Weiss ducked effortlessly, grabbing the chain wrapped around his shoulder (who the heck would wear chains as suspenders?) and yanking it hard. The killer tumbled forward, losing his balance, and Weiss planted her boot squarely against his chest, sending him sprawling to the ground with a resounding crash.
Ruby clapped excitedly from the sidelines, "Weiss! You're on fire tonight! That's another solo win! Weiss and Blake aren't gonna believe this!"
Weiss shot her an exasperated look as the killer groaned on the floor, clutching his head, "Ruby, shut up."
Ruby snickered, but her grin only widened, "I mean, I know we have Aura, but you're really making this look easy."
Weiss rolled her eyes and grabbed the hulking killer by the back of his mask, dragging him toward the growing pile of defeated attackers, "Because it is easy," she said flatly, "These morons don't understand what they're up against. I'd almost feel sorry for them if they weren't so insufferably stupid."
"And if they didn't kill a bunch of people before we showed up."
"Yes, Ruby, that too."
As Weiss dropped the hulking figure onto the pile, Ruby glanced around the room, surveying the aftermath, "Well, I guess that's everyone. Think they'll stay down this time?"
Weiss adjusted her sleeves and arched a brow, "If they don't, I have plenty of energy left to remind them why they should." The jock and his girlfriend stared at Weiss in wide-eyed silence, too stunned to comment. The glasses guy was still out cold.
Ruby grinned, nudging Weiss with her elbow, "So, still think this trip was a bad idea?"
Weiss groaned, "I hate you."
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The sun had risen by the time Ruby and Weiss finished tying the last of the defeated killers to an old, rickety flatbed truck they'd found behind the lodge. It creaked and groaned under the weight of the pile of unconscious and groaning bodies, looking like it might fall apart at any moment. The entire thing was a tetanus nightmare waiting to happen. Weiss made sure her Aura was up at all times as Ruby clambered onto the driver's seat. Time to put Dad's lesson to use!
The jock, his girlfriend, and the glasses guy (who had finally regained consciousness and hadn't stopped muttering about how 'this will make for an amazing story') stood awkwardly to the side, watching as Ruby and Weiss finished securing the ropes with alarming efficiency. Ruby dusted off her hands and turned to Weiss, a bright grin on her face, "Well, that's everyone! Ready to head back to Vale?"
Weiss wiped her hands on her skirt and flicked a strand of hair over her shoulder, "More than ready. Let's put this disaster of a 'vacation' behind us."
As they started up the truck, Ruby bouncing excitedly while Weiss kept pouting, one of the tied-up killers groaned loudly, his voice muffled by the mask that had been haphazardly shoved back onto his face. Weiss said she didn't even wanna look at them, "This isn't fair!" he whined, wriggling against the ropes, "You're freaks! Monsters! Nobody can take hits like that! You don't fight fair!"
Weiss looked back, fixing him with a glare, "Fair?" she repeated, her voice frosty, "You and your merry band of morons thought you could terrorize innocent people with your crude tools and atrocious masks, and now you want to talk about fair?"
The killer huffed, "It's rigged! You're cheating or something! Normal people don't fight like that!"
Weiss rolled her eyes, folding her arms, "Oh, cry me a river, you redneck cliches. And honestly, what sort of backwoods hick doesn't know what Aura is?"
Back at Beacon, Jaune sneezed.
The drive back to Vale was slow and painful, mostly due to the truck's insistence on threatening to collapse every five minutes and the would-be victims all making a nuisance of themselves. Jock was trying to get his ego back, his girlfriend was gushing about how many followers she'd get once she posted it to her socials, and glasses guy was muttering about how he was going to make millions on the movie. Ruby snorted. Yeah, put it in the pile with the rest of the bargain bin slashers.
By the time they arrived at the edge of the city, the guards stationed at the gate stared at the two Huntresses-in-training dragging a literal pile of tied-up killers like they'd just stumbled out of a fairy tale, "What...what is this?" one guard asked, pointing at the back of the truck.
Ruby grinned, "A really bad vacation!"
Weiss sighed and handed over the written report she'd painstakingly crafted during the drive back. Cause of course she did that, "This group has been responsible for a rash of killings in a lodge a few hours from here. These three will act as witnesses." She gestured to the nameless trio, "I suggest you take it from here."
The guards exchanged baffled looks before nodding and stepping forward to detain the groaning killers.
As the truck and the people in it was finally taken off their hands, Weiss turned to Ruby with a long-suffering sigh, "Can we go home now?"
Ruby nodded, clasping her hands behind her back, "Totally! I mean, we've definitely earned it, right?"
Weiss closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose, "The first thing I'm doing when we get back is taking the longest, hottest bath possible. And burn these clothes. They've been tainted." She frowned and looked down at her dress. It looked just fine apart from some dirt, but Weiss wasn't gonna listen to her.
Ruby tilted her head, grinning, "Think you'll recommend the lodge to anyone else?" Weiss shot her a murderous glare, "Okay, okay!" Ruby laughed, skipping ahead as Weiss followed with a scowl that couldn't quite hide her relief. Maybe their next vacation would be better. Ruby'd heard good things about a summer camp not too far from here. Camp Clear Lake. It sounded like fun.
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Poor Weiss. She just wants a proper vacation and ends up having to deal with Remnant Leatherface. Oh well, at least she won some solo matches for once.
