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Monthly Request for Pilot Puntastic
🕑 Added 2023-09-02 12:27:31 +0000 UTCJaune Arc had a problem.
Well, that was a bit of an understatement. He had a lot of problems. Sneaking into Beacon with fake transcripts and (somehow) not knowing what Aura was hadn't exactly been conducive to living a stress-free life. Still, despite all the trouble that came his way, he didn't regret going to Beacon. He'd met his team - his friends - people he'd gladly fight alongside with come hell or high water.
And it wasn't just them. Beacon was full of admirable people, jerks like Cardin aside. Still, he counted his blessings every day that he met his friends. Pyrrha was the best partner ever, Ren was a brother from another mother, Nora was practically another sister, and Ruby was his best friend. And while he wasn't as close to Yang, Weiss, and Blake, he liked to think of them as friends all the same.
So you could imagine he didn't feel very good with Ruby glaring at him from across her seat in the cafeteria.
Jaune picked at his mashed potatoes and did his best to ignore the glaring reaper sitting across from him. She looked more cute than threatening, but all it took was a reminder that she had a scythe bigger than she was for him to put that thought out of his head.
It all started a week ago. Team RWBY had been acting cagey recently, and Nora being Nora, decided she just had to know why. The reason ended up being due to a dog. More specifically, Yang and Ruby's dog. Zwei, a tiny little corgi that could pack a hell of a wallop (seriously, he'd seen the little guy take out Beowolves by themselves). Turned out the reason team RWBY was acting so weird was cause they wanted to keep him safe from the staff.
Well, everyone except Blake who was desperately trying to do the opposite. He still remembered hearing a scream and seeing the rest of Team RWBY sitting on the ninja catgirl when she tried to call Goodwitch and get the good boy ejected. Not that they needed to worry since apparently Beacon didn't actually have a rule against Aura-awakened pets on campus, much to Blake's despair.
Jaune didn't care too much one way or another. He liked dogs - they had a couple back home - but really it was Team RWBY's business, not his.
Zwei had other plans.
Jaune had come over to visit the doggo and Zwei had latched on tight, licking and eagerly cuddling up to him. It was cute, and both Yang and Ruby had laughed and said that Zwei really must have liked him. Weiss was a little more jealous and annoyed that Zwei hadn't been as affectionate to her despite constantly feeding him treats.
Blake just stayed in the corner like the angry cat she claimed she wasn't.
The problem came when Zwei didn't stop the playful affection. Jaune had gone back with the rest of his team and the corgi followed only to whine mournfully when Ruby grabbed him so he couldn't leave the room. Jaune did feel kind of bad seeing the little guy look so sad, but he promised that he'd come back to play tomorrow. He figured that would be the end of that.
Oh, what a fool he was.
He woke up the next day to the corgi sleeping on his chest. How he managed to sneak out of Team RWBY's dorm room and get into theirs considering the locks, he didn't know, and he was too scared to really question it. Jaune was weirded out, but he figured that the little guy was just affectionate. He'd never tell his sisters, but Miles and Luna definitely liked him best among the siblings.
Ruby had come rushing in to beg for their help when she spotted Zwei cuddled up to him. The look of abject betrayal on her face was painful to see.
The problems didn't stop there. The little corgi followed him around at all hours of the day. Breakfast, classes, lunch; he'd even attempted to clamber onto the arena during combat class before Professor Goodwitch stopped him. The only place where he was allowed some privacy was the bathroom where Zwei patiently and stubbornly guarded the outside from all intruders.
He had no idea what he'd done to make the dog cling so hard. Yang, who wasn't nearly as upset as Ruby, theorized that maybe he reminded Zwei of their dad and that was why he refused to leave. She showed him their dad's picture too, though Jaune had his doubts. So what if they were both blue-eyed blonde men? That didn't mean anything. And yes, apparently they also liked standoffish swordswomen who refused to give them the time of day, but so what if he had a type?
Ultimately, no amount of effort on team RWBY's part would remove the corgi from his side. Weiss had tried treats and Ruby had resorted to outright begging, but Zwei refused to bend. Jaune had gotten used to the dog sleeping on his chest every night and could only shrug helplessly when Ruby pouted at him for it. What was he supposed to do? It wasn't like he could kick him out of the room. That would just be mean.
So now they were here with Ruby glaring at him like he'd given her raisin cookies. His best friend hadn't stopped glaring at him in protest for his 'thievery'. Weiss looked mad at him too, though she refused to admit that it had anything to do with being denied Zwei cuddles. By contrast, Blake had been absolutely preening and seemed unreasonably cheery ever since she no longer had to share a room with her one-sided nemesis. Only Yang had taken it without complaint.
His team didn't help much. Nora adored having Zwei in her room, saying that they never had a chance for pets since she and Ren were always on the move. Ren himself had taken to feeding Zwei some of his nutrition shakes, which the little guy drank with gusto. Even Pyrrha couldn't hide how excited she was, though she did her best to muffle it to avoid making Ruby even more annoyed.
It also probably didn't help that Zwei was curled on his lap right now.
"Traitor...thief..." Ruby picked at her food with a frown.
"Listen, Ruby-"
"Thieves do not get to call me by my first name! That is reserved for friends, not traitorous dognappers!" The reaper pointed her fork at him.
"It's not my fault!"
"I told you that you could dye your hair! Heck, you could even just shave yourself bald! I'll help!"
"I'm not letting to shave my hair because your dog likes me!" Jaune shot back. You didn't know fear until you had Ruby Rose hefting her scythe saying all she'd need was to skim a little off the top.
"Then you're a thief and a traitor!" Ruby said again, "And traitors lose all bestie priveleges!"
"Come on..." Jaune groaned.
"Ahem!" Weiss said, suddenly standing up. She looked down at Jaune with an unreadable expression before she spoke, "Jaune, I'm going to a nice cafe down in Vale this weekend. Would you like to join me?"
"What?" Jaune blinked.
"Wh-What?!" Pyrrha said, suddenly looking panicked for reasons he could never comprehend.
"It's a simple question. Would you like to accompany me down in Vale this weekend?"
"Just the two of us? Like...a date?" Jaune asked hopefully. He'd stopped asking Weiss ever since the dance, but embers of his crush still remained.
"I suppose you could look at it that way. So?"
"Uh...yeah, sure!" Jaune grinned. Pyrrha suddenly bent her spoon in half. Weird, didn't look like she used her Semblance for it, "I-I'll meet you in the docks?"
"Ten am. Don't be late." She nodded and left to deposit her tray without another word.
A quiet settled over the two teams for a few seconds before Blake spoke up, "You know she only asked you out because she wants Zwei, right?" she asked, "...Well, not that I care as long as you keep the little monster away from our room."
"One day we're gonna have to talk about you being a stereotype, Blake." Yang sighed.
He didn't get the chance to let the catgirl's words sink in before Pyrrha suddenly grabbed him by the sides of his face and pulled him into a sudden kiss. Jaune's eyes widened and everyone turned to look as Pyrrha Nikos, the Invincible Girl, practically shoved her tongue down his throat. The kiss lasted for close to a minute, and by the time Jaune was feeling lightheaded, Pyrrha suddenly pulled back with a pop, a bridge of saliva connecting them for a moment as they both panted.
It was only after a few seconds of trying to regain their breath that Pyrrha seemed to realize what she'd done. Her face went as red as her hair and, with a loud "I'm sorrrryyyy!", she ran out the cafeteria doors.
...
Zwei, waking up from the sudden noise, looked up at his new adopted human in confusion. Jaune just sighed and put the corgi's head, trying to ignore how Ruby muttered about how 'this changed nothing'.
Comments
Thelurker12
Glad you enjoyed it! Sorry it took so long.
pilot puntastic
Looks fantastic! Ruby just pouting at the betrayal was hilarious!
