cathfach
patreon
Side Story: Cluma's Year
🕑 Added 2021-06-16 05:27:15 +0000 UTCAs voted on discord, today's chapter slot goes to Cluma, albeit with a slightly lower hug quotient than normal.
"Don't you dare think you're the only one prepared to put yourself in harm's way for the sake of those you care about, and don't you ever be so arrogant as to think you're the only one allowed to."
I pulled my ear away from the wall, not wanting to hear Peter's cold voice any longer. Yes, daddy was being unfair, but so was Peter! I knew he'd been injured, but I hadn't known it was that bad. Less than a minute to live?! And he was glad, just because I'd got away?
Peter was an idiot! I was stronger than him! He hadn't beaten me in a single duel since I first picked up my dagger skill. He should have been the one fleeing to the village. Yes, he was slower, but I would have had no trouble getting the orc's attention and keeping it occupied for the time it took him to fetch help. The only one allowed to... There was a word for that, wasn't there? It wasn't one that we normally used, and it took a little while to remember it, but I got there in the end. Hypocrite. That's what Peter was. A big, stinky hypocrite! He might care about me, but I care about him too! I didn't want to see him get hurt, either. He was the arrogant one!
I ran back home and hid in my bed. Mummy was looking at me weirdly, but I ignored her. Daddy came home a little later and sat in a corner being moody and broody. It wasn't as if there was much to do at this time of winter, outdoors being far too cold for playing at the moment, but the house was never normally this silent and awkward...
Mummy and daddy spent the next couple of days having hushed conversations when they thought I wasn't listening, but I was sneaky and had a good pair of ears. Mummy has always wanted to move to the big town nearby to cook for more people, but daddy was always against going back there. This time daddy was trying to convince mummy to move, but not to the nearby town. To a place even bigger that was far, far away.
If it was far away, wouldn't that mean I couldn't play with my friends?
"They can send you letters," mummy told me, when I owned up to listening, but that wasn't the same! I may be learning to read and write, but how can I play with someone over a letter? "You'll make new friends," she added, but that didn't help either. I didn't want to abandon my old ones!
Daddy just grunted, as if friends weren't important. I really felt sorry for daddy... It must be sad not having any friends.
When the weather improved enough to go outdoors, I met Peter again. I was still annoyed at him, but after finding out that we would be leaving the village, there was no way I could shout at him. I didn't want to spoil our last season together.
"I'll be sure to come and visit," he said. I was surprised. He would come somewhere far away, just to visit me? I would come back here to visit if I could, but I didn't know how. If mummy and daddy didn't take me, how was I supposed to go to faraway places? But he promised. That made me feel better.
He made the same comment as mummy about making new friends too, which showed he didn't understand either. It didn't matter how many friends I had; I didn't want to leave any of them behind. You couldn't replace friends as if they were worn out old toys!
He continued to be ridiculously educational for the rest of winter. He'd always been weird about getting me to unlock new skills, even if I didn't want them, but now he was doing it to every kid in the village! I mostly ignored him; I was more interested in learning how to read and write. Between what I learnt from mummy and Peter, I was sure I'd be able to read any letters my friends sent me all on my own, without needing to ask for help. That made me feel happier.
When the day to leave came, all my happiness ran away like a scared little hexauyo. My friends all came out to wave goodbye. Or most of them did; Peter wasn't even in the village, so he couldn't. I hugged them all tight, because it was sad I'd never be able to hug them again. Maybe there's a skill for sending hugs in a letter?
The adults all came out to say goodbye to mummy and daddy too. Lots of them were saying that they would miss mummy's cooking. Why don't they come to visit us then? If Peter could promise, then why couldn't they?
Daddy had everything we owned strapped to his back in a pillar twice as tall as he was, which was funny to watch as we walked towards the big town. I kept waiting for him to fall over, but he never did. Daddy was strong... I hope I can be that strong one day.
When we actually arrived at the town, it was humongous! I couldn't even see the whole thing! And the buildings were all... weird. "Mummy, what's wrong with the buildings?" I asked.
"It's because they're built out of stone instead of wood," she answered. That was strange. Why would you build things out of stones? They were all odd shapes and wouldn't fit together. Did they have to find the right stones? And how did they stick them all together? You can't nail stones, can you? Would these houses all fall down if I pushed them? I decided I'd have to be very careful in this town, in case I accidentally broke it.
We walked down a couple of roads, and I could hear dad's heartbeat quickening. Ha, he's not so strong after all! Carrying all that stuff for so long is finally running him out of stamina! I remember when Peter made me do something similar to unlock [Enlarged Stamina Pool].
And then we turned a corner, and there was a big stone wall in front of us, and daddy's heartbeat raced. That wasn't running out of stamina! "Daddy?" I asked. "Are you ill?"
"I'm fine," he answered, staring down at the ground. It was like the wall was hurting him somehow, so I ran in front of him to try to block his view.
We walked a bit further down the street, and entered an enormous building, the biggest I'd ever seen! You could have fit ten of our houses into it at least! It was so big that it had rooms that did nothing but connect to other rooms. We would never waste space like that at home. It even had... mum called them stairs. It had so many rooms that they wouldn't all fit, so they stacked some of them on top of each other, and then we had to climb up the stairs to get to the ones up above.
I wanted to explore the whole building! I could barely imagine the games of hide and seek I could have in here with... with my... friends...
"Cluma!" exclaimed mummy, when she saw me crying. "What's wrong."
"I miss my friends already..."
"There will be plenty of children your age once we get where we're going," said daddy. "For now, you'll have to be a big girl."
He still didn't understand! No-one did! You can't just replace friends! They aren't like dresses, where you pick whichever one you want in the morning and think nothing of the ones you aren't wearing. They all need attention!
I trudged sadly behind my parents, carrying my own little backpack. Daddy had needed to put down most of our stuff, because it was too tall for the ceiling, but apparently someone else would bring it to us later.
Something that no-one had answered yet was where exactly we were going. Why did we have to go inside a building to get somewhere far away? I know this building was big, but it wasn't so big that the other side would come out in a different town.
And then we stepped into an enormous room with a hole in the middle, just floating in the air.
"Come on," said daddy. "It's perfectly safe."
I looked over at mummy and she was looking nervous too, but if daddy said it was safe, it must be okay. Not everything that looks scary is dangerous. I needed to show mummy that I was a brave girl, so I hopped up more of the stairs behind daddy and followed him into the big, black hole.
I kept walking forward, and it was really weird, but I could still see daddy in front of me even if the lighting was strange, and before long I followed him out into another, even bigger room. It had lots of those holes! Did they all go somewhere different?
Mummy popped out behind me, looking around in astonishment. I think she was just as surprised as I was. You really could walk through the building and come out somewhere completely different!
Daddy led us both outside, and all the buildings were wrong again. These weren't wood or stone, but were made out of some sort of green... stuff. It was all smooth and a little bit shiny, and I'd never seen anything like it before.
"Mummy, mummy!" I asked. "What are these buildings made out of?"
"I have no idea," she answered.
"No-one does," added daddy. "When the first of us were made by the earth mother, they were already here."
That was weird. If they were here before any of us, who built them? What if they returned and wanted them back?
Daddy led us down a few more streets, and it quickly became obvious that this place was even bigger than the town we'd just been in. So big that even after walking for ages, I still hadn't seen where it ended. Maybe it went on forever? And there were so many people... There was no way I'd even be able to remember their names, let alone make friends with everyone!
Daddy didn't seem to know where we were going anymore, and had to keep asking people for directions, but eventually we left the area of weird green houses and reached a section where they were built out of stone instead. Why the difference? Not that it mattered, as long as they didn't fall over. Daddy pointed out one of them as our new home and led us inside.
It was... cold and empty. It didn't smell like home. There were more of the stairs I'd seen earlier, which wasn't a surprise because the building was very tall, and daddy led us up them. Apparently we'd be living at the top of the stairs, which had so many rooms that I got one of my own, and all the space at the bottom was mummy's new restaurant.
Mummy was very excited about it, running around with almost as much energy as me, and that made me feel a little better. I joined in and helped her. It wasn't as if I had anything else to do. We were practising cooking in the unfamiliar kitchen, but even my own low skill was enough to get used to it very quickly.
Ding
Skill [Basic Cooking] advanced to level 6
Class [Commoner] advanced to level 10
Oh! I reached level ten! I can pick my first real class!
Available classes:
[Apprentice Fighter] [Cook]
I paused... I wanted to choose [Apprentice Fighter] to protect my friends and then [Scout] so that I could get the [Stealth] skill, but I also wanted to help mummy in the kitchen, and that needed [Cook]. Besides... my friends were far away now, and I couldn't protect them no matter what skills I had...
"Mummy! I need help!" I shouted, causing both her and daddy to come running.
"What's wrong dear?" mummy asked.
"I reached level ten, and I don't know what class I should choose."
"Oh... I didn't realise..." stuttered mummy. I think she was shocked. Was reaching level ten a bad thing? "Well then, what are your options?"
"[Apprentice Fighter] or [Cook]."
"[Cook]," answered daddy immediately, but I wasn't sure that was right. He'd said before that choosing a class was important, and should be thought through carefully, but he hadn't even asked me what I wanted to do!
"Yes, [Cook] would be a good choice if you enjoy cooking enough to want to continue doing it in the future. Do you want to help me in the kitchen when we open?"
"Umm... I like cooking and I want to help you, but I don't think I want to do it forever."
"Then think about what you do want. There's no rush to decide. Most people don't change their class until they're years older than you, and there's no reason to pick one of those two either. You can unlock other options by buying appropriate skills."
I knew all that, and I did still have two soul points left, so it was true I could buy a couple more skills to unlock other classes. But I don't think there was anything else I wanted. I didn't want to be a farmer or carpenter. Being a mage might be interesting, but the mana handicap I had as a beastkin would mean I'd never be any good at it. Maybe a hunter? Then I could help mummy by providing ingredients for her. Was there a class for that?
"Is there a hunter class?" I asked.
"There's a [Gatherer] class that you can get by picking up the [Hunting] or [Foraging] skills," answered daddy.
"Does it give the [Stealth] skill?" I asked.
"Why?" he asked, frowning.
"Because surprise hugs are the best hugs!" I exclaimed, grabbing mummy to prove my point. I did my best with [Concealment], but I couldn't move around with it active, so I had to rely on unsuspecting friends walking past me instead.
"While I couldn't say whether you want to spend your life cooking, I can assure you that you won't want to spend it hugging," said daddy, completely incorrectly.
"Will too! Even my status says so."
He pinched his nose, as he so often did when he was wrong and didn't believe me when I pointed it out. "I don't know what skills a [Gatherer] can get," he said eventually. "You'll have to look it up in the library."
I'd never visited a library before; we didn't have one in our village, after all. That might be fun. And I had the whole city to explore. A town was a really big village, and a city was a really really big town. I just didn't want to do so alone.
Days passed as we concentrated on getting the restaurant ready for opening. I found out that [Gatherer] had specialised hunting skills that masked your smell or made you appear unthreatening, but it wasn't a patch on what I'd seen Noah do with [Stealth]. I knew which skill I'd rather have.
"I've decided!" I told my parents. "I want [Apprentice Fighter]. I can still go hunting with it, and I can get [Stealth] later on."
Daddy opened his mouth, as if he was about to say something, but then changed his mind. Pinching his nose again, he asked, "Is that the only reason? There's nothing else?"
After the conversation I'd overheard, I didn't really want to admit my other reason to daddy, but now that he'd asked, I didn't have a choice. "So that if something like that orc happens again, I don't have to run away."
"That will not happen again," he said. "It's safe here. You don't need to worry about being attacked."
"How do you know that?" I asked. "It came out of nowhere. How do you know it won't happen again?"
"Because it was after Peter, not you. As long as he's not here, you're safe."
I froze up as I finally realised how stupid I had been. Why daddy had chosen that point to move away. He'd moved us to another part of the world to protect me. Separating me from my friends wasn't an unfortunate consequence of moving, it was the whole point! My tail bashed painfully into a wall as it stuck out rigidly behind me. How dare he! "You can't separate us forever!" I shouted. "He promised to come and visit."
"He won't be able to, even if he wants to," daddy said. "He won't even be able to send letters. For your own sake, please just forget about the village and everyone there."
No... He wouldn't have made the promise if he couldn't keep it. He will make it. So will everyone else. I will see my friends again. All of them. I'm never going to forget them! Why can't he understand?
"Just because you don't have any friends doesn't mean you can treat other people like that!" I shouted.
"Take [Cook] or [Gatherer]," he replied calmly. "Or something else, if you've had any other ideas. But there's no point in [Apprentice Fighter] because you will never do any fighting, and will struggle to level it."
No.
Class changed to [Apprentice Fighter]
In my research into [Gatherer] I'd learnt where the Emerald Nest, as this city was called, gets its meat from. I would do plenty of fighting getting some for mummy.
My parents were right about one thing; I did make new friends. There were lots of children in our street, and we played together often. It was nice, but it didn't excuse forgetting the village. Every morning I ran through every one of my old friends, picturing their names and faces. I wasn't going to forget a single one of them. Never.
I don't think the restaurant was doing very well. The area downstairs where people sat was big, but it was never full. I overheard mummy and daddy having a discussion one night, talking about how they were struggling to pay back some money they owed. I heard mummy say that if she had to pay for meat, rather than me fetching it for free, they wouldn't be viable at all. That made me happy; I was helping! My choice wasn't wrong! There was no money for more staff, though. Dad served tables, mum cooked, and I hunted and ran errands.
Even if we were struggling, we managed to keep going, and none of us minded being busy. I gained levels, and my hunting got a bit more efficient. I bought more skills that helped. Mummy gained levels too, and her cooking got even better. Our restaurant got a little more popular. Mummy and daddy were happy. I was... okay. There were days I managed not to feel sad about our old home at all. Especially when I got back from hunting and helped daddy out serving the tables, teaching our customers all about the power of hugs!
I didn't get to play with my new friends as often, but there was a part of me that didn't want to. The bit that kept saying that if I made new friends, I'd one day have to leave them too. That it was all pointless. I didn't like that part of me, but no matter how much I hated it, it wouldn't go away...
No letters arrived from home, which was sad. Daddy said I couldn't send any there either. Neither did Peter nor anyone else visit us. Did they all forget about us already? No, I don't think they'd forget us that easily, nor would Peter forget his promise. It was daddy's fault. Even mummy was surprised at the lack of letters; daddy had done something to stop them. Why did he have to go that far?
Then things got even worse. Daddy started spending time elsewhere, leaving me to serve the tables. He said it was important work, that he was saving lives. That was good, but serving tables didn't leave me with as much time for hunting! I did what I could in the mornings, but it wasn't enough. Now I barely got to see my new friends at all, spending all my time running around trying to help mummy. Sometimes we ran out of ingredients because I couldn't hunt enough, and she had to send me out to buy more.
I overheard another conversation, mummy hissing at daddy that if he didn't help with the restaurant, it was going to fail. He insisted that his new work was more important, that we should be able to manage without him. Mummy disagreed and convinced him to help out again, but they were still at odds over how much. Mummy wanted more and he wanted less. He wouldn't even tell me what it was he was doing that was so important. He must have told mummy, but if so, I hadn't overheard it.
"It's not a case of whether we can stay afloat or not," mummy said one day. "It's a case of having fun doing it. Teetering on the edge of being able to pay back our loans, spending more time worrying about finances than cooking, is not fun. This isn't what I wanted out of this place."
"We didn't come here for fun," he replied. "We came to make a safe place for our daughter!"
"Yes, she's safe, but is she happy?" asked mum. "When was the last time she had a chance to play, like a kid should do? When was the last time she showed her usual energy? When was the last time she gave you a hug?"
They didn't know I was listening. Was I happy? I hadn't had time to think about it recently. When was the last time I hugged anyone? Mummy or daddy, my new friends outside, our customers...
"She's a big girl now. She's just growing out of her childish behaviours, like hugging everyone she sees. It's fine. It was disturbing our customers anyway."
What? Was daddy right all along when he kept saying I wouldn't want to spend my whole life hugging people? But I did want to, I'd just been too busy! And I wasn't disturbing anyone! They always smiled and patted my head!
"You..." started mummy, in the most depressed voice I'd ever heard from her. "After all this time, you still don't understand your own daughter."
I failed to hear daddy's response to that, but he went marching out of the house soon after.
The next day, mummy told me not to go hunting in the morning, because we didn't need any meat that day. Instead, she said I should go out and play with the children in the street. That was strange. What was it that she planned to cook then? But when opening time came, she hadn't opened the door. I went running in to see what was wrong, but mummy said we weren't opening. Why not? She told me to go back out and carry on playing, then not long after she went off somewhere by herself.
That night, mummy and daddy had the biggest argument I had ever heard. I didn't want to hear it, and hid under my bedsheets, pressing my ears down onto my head as hard as I could. Why did they have to argue? Was it because I was being too childish and I needed to be a big girl for them? To act like the grown up daddy kept telling me I should be? Fine... I'll just have to get up even earlier to make sure I could do all the hunting we needed before opening. I had lots of stamina. I could cut down on sleep and work harder.
ding
Trait lost: [Hugger]
I smiled a little at Mr System agreeing that I was growing up.
The next morning I was up before dawn, dressed and carrying my bow and knives, but mummy came running out of her bedroom and stopped me.
"It's okay," she said. "You don't have to bring back ingredients anymore. Have fun instead. Or rather, go back to bed! It's far too early for little girls to be awake."
"But I need to help you out, so that you don't have to worry. Besides, I'm not a little girl anymore. Even Mr System said so!"
Mummy frowned at me and asked what I meant by that, so I told her.
Mummy went mad...
There wasn't an argument this time, but I think I would have preferred one. Instead, mummy just went... cold. She was treating daddy like a stranger. I just sat in my room and cried. Was this my fault? Mummy seemed to think everything was daddy's fault. Did daddy want me to grow up and mummy didn't? I didn't understand... What was I supposed to do? I didn't want to do anything, in case it made things worse, so I just sat huddled up in bed and waited.
ding
Trait [Hyperactive] devolved to [Enduring]
Apparently I fell asleep at some point, because mummy needed to wake me up. The light was streaming in through the window... It was still daytime? But I felt so sleepy... Was this because I woke up too early to go hunting?
Mummy told me to pack my stuff up, and that I was going back to the village. For a moment I was excited, but then I noticed her wording.
"What do you mean, I'm going back to the village? What about you and daddy?"
Mummy explained that they borrowed money to open this restaurant, but that the restaurant hadn't done well enough to pay it back, so they would need to get another job to pay instead. Because of that, she wouldn't be able to come back to the village with me. But I didn't like that! There wasn't any point being able to visit my old friends if I had to leave mummy. And daddy too, even if he has made mummy cross somehow. And what about all my new friends here? Wouldn't it be better if I helped her work? But mummy didn't want me to...
Mummy promised that this time I would be able to send letters to my new friends. She also carefully explained that daddy had been mistaken about a few things, and there was nothing wrong with my behaviour. But mummy and daddy were saying different things... Daddy said that big girls didn't run around hugging people, and mummy said they could. That didn't make sense!
Daddy wasn't here, and mummy wouldn't tell me where he was. Everything was wrong! Why did things have to be like this? I packed my stuff in something of a daze, leaving behind the building we'd called home for the past year, and following mummy back through the big, black hole that somehow led elsewhere.
We went to another stone building that had 'slave merchants' written on the sign outside. I'd never been in a place like that before, and didn't know what they did, but apparently they were arranging the new work for mummy. We stayed there for a couple of days, before a slightly scary looking man came to say he wanted mummy to work for him. He said he'd sent his old chef to cook food for some new big building, and was in need of a replacement, and wanted mummy to come and cook for him.
That was weird. Why would one person need a chef to cook for them? Can't he cook for himself?
I didn't care. It didn't matter. I just trudged along behind mummy to another huge building, where another strange-looking old man showed us to a room where we'd be staying. Another new thing; we lived here, but the building wasn't ours? I didn't know buildings could be shared like that, but I couldn't work up the interest to ask for the details.
Mummy said there wasn't anything for me to do to help, and I should go and play, but I didn't want to. I didn't know anyone here, and I didn't want to get to know them if she was going to make me go back to the village soon. I'd only have to leave them again. Besides, somehow I felt too tired to go exploring. I checked my status, in case there was something wrong, and saw that I'd lost half of my stamina, along with another trait...
A hyperactive, dexterous hugger. That was me. Or at least, what I was supposed to be. Now I... wasn't. Who was I supposed to be now?
Mummy tried to help. She explained that daddy had been trying to protect me, that he'd once lost a family member to monsters, and that he was terrified of the same thing happening to me. That made some sense, but it didn't explain why he hadn't been working the restaurant properly. But I could understand why mummy and daddy thought differently; daddy prioritised my safety above all else, and mummy thought that if protecting me required me to become someone else, it wasn't worth the cost.
It was too late for that though. I had already lost the things that made me 'me'. I was wrong. I could have been a big girl without giving them up. I wanted them back! But I couldn't... I didn't know how! I didn't know what I was anymore, or what I was supposed to do.
Mummy sent me back to the village with Peter. I was supposed to live with his parents instead of my own. That... wasn't right. I should live with my own mummy and daddy, not someone else's!
Peter apologised for not keeping his promise. Apparently he hadn't known we were going to the Emerald Nest, and thought we were just going to Dawnhold, but he'd still tried to find me, even though we were still so much further away than he thought. Daddy had stopped him, but that wasn't Peter's fault.
All of my friends in the village treated me exactly as they had before. It was almost as if I'd never left. Almost like the past year hadn't happened.
No, that was wrong... It had happened, and pretending otherwise would be unfair. I'd met new people there, made new friends, learnt new skills. There were bad bits, but there were fun bits too. That year was every bit as important as any time spent in the village.
Peter promised not to treat me like daddy had, like something he needed to protect without a will of my own. And I know that while he's not always able to keep his promises, he'll always try. He even offered to take me into the dungeon, although I knew that was against the rules, and he would never be allowed. But that didn't matter; it was the thought that counted. He even bought me a present, a new outfit that let me walk silently. Another tool on my quest to give the ultimate surprise hugs!
Without even thinking what I was doing, I gave a ginormous hug to him and the nice lady who'd made my new outfit. Or tried to. I couldn't get my arms around both of them. Maybe I could get an outfit that gives me longer arms, or more of them? The quest for the perfect hug continues!
ding
Trait [Enduring] evolved to [Hyperactive]
New trait acquired: [Hugger]
I giggled at Mr System, as it informed me I'd got back everything I'd lost. Yup, that's the real me. I'd forgotten for a while, but all of my friends had reminded me. That's what friends are for; we help each other. Who I want to be is my own decision, and this is my choice. I think that's what really makes someone a big boy or girl. Understanding who they want to be, and making their own choices instead of blindly following someone else.
Never again would I let someone forcibly separate me from my friends. Not even my daddy.
ding
New trait acquired: [Loyal]
[Loyal] - You consider friendship a lifelong bond. You do not betray. You do not abandon. You do not forget. Provides 5 bonus points to all stats when working alongside someone you consider a friend. (Rank 3)
My smile got wider. Mr System was right! Forgetting was bad! Which reminded me it was time to send my first set of letters to my new friends in the Emerald Nest. And also to daddy; I wanted to tell him about my new trait. Perhaps it would help him to understand me better.
Comments
cathfach
Not really. Even if it was unpleasant, he could still cope. He certainly wasn't lying with malicious intent.
Julkur
Did Clanus lie, when he said he was fine while passing the Dungeon?
taukid
I wonder if her father also had loyal and if that's partly why he was so badly traumatized by God brother's death.
RottenTangerine
Great chapter! This was really fun to read
Vorquel
Cluma is such a good girl. I need to find her and give her a hug
