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A dream coming true.
🕑 Added 2022-11-12 01:58:22 +0000 UTCHello everyone! Xan here.
I know that not many of you will read this since it isn’t related to a video release, but that’s okay. To most people, this is going to be just a meaningless personal message anyway. It’s just something that I wanted to say for some time and I think now is the good time to say it. Perhaps those few of you that are more curious as to what kind of a person I am will find this interesting.
Perhaps some of you noticed, but as of this month, our Patreon pledge has finally caught up to other JOI biggest creators out there. Considering that we’ve only been making JOIs for less than half a year, I guess it truly is miraculous. When I created our PH channel, I expected it to be a way to earn a few more bucks at most. I did not ever expect that this project would be something that would give me hope for a better tomorrow. And yet, this is exactly what happened.
Wanna know something funny? That St. Louis video I’ve released as our first video is actually a project I did years ago. It’s just something I made as a personal fap material, since I was dissatisfied by the lack of gangbang themed JOIs out there. I actually never thought of releasing it to the public back when I made it.
So, you may wonder what made me publish it after all this time. Well, desperation, actually. There was a time once that I had what you would call it a ‘normal’ job. Pretty good one too, I guess. It’s kind of a necessity to have a high paying job when you’re an ugly fuck like me, since in such scenario, money is the only key to achieving happiness. I lost that job as well as everything else I’ve had in my life after my covid infection made me develop myasthenia - an incurable disease that affects muscles in your body. In most cases it’s manageable, but mine turned out to be drug resistant, essentially making me almost completely disabled. Most of my muscle strength is gone and, in all likelihood, will never come back.
Needless to say, this has prevented me from ever coming back to my job or starting any other career. One of the symptoms of my disease is also a permanent, extreme exhaustion. To paint you a good picture of what I mean by this, here’s a comparison - when I was a teenager, I did an experiment once to see how I would feel if I haven’t slept for 2 days straight. Well, this is more or less how I feel right now, every day, no matter how much I sleep. This is, unfortunately, pretty much making me into a dumbass. Because of this, learning to be a programmer or something similar and starting a new career working while being mostly immobile turned out to be out of the realm of possibility.
I live in a second world country, so getting help from the government in my situation isn’t enough. Essentially, the money I’m getting from my government is covering roughly 25% of my minimum expenses. So... yeah. My assumption was that I was gonna be pretty much doomed. Honestly, I assumed that even if by some miracle I could survive, perhaps with some help from my mother while she’s still alive, then such survival would be meaningless. I would live as a half-vegetable. A pariah, not desired by anyone. A parasite, living off of other people’s mercy, with his dreams no longer ever being achievable. Seriously... who would want that?
Anyways, I guess I am being dramatic. Let’s just stick to the facts. As you can probably guess already, it turned out that my hands retained enough muscle strength for me to effectively operate a PC. Since I did make this one JOI video back in the day, I learned the basics of using an editing software. So I thought, well, okay, maybe I will at least make some pocket change. Something to keep me afloat for a month or two longer before I would shoot my brains out or something. I mean, why not try? I had nothing to lose. I saw some smaller JOI channels making like a couple dozen bucks on Patreon, maybe I would get lucky too. I motivated myself to create a PH channel and a Patreon account and published the video.
Even the first month alone was shocking. Out of nowhere, I had a Patreon pledge of over $300. It was also during this time that Bunny had joined me in the efforts of making this work. Oh hey, another fun fact! The two of us actually met through an erotic roleplay server on Discord. I’ve been browsing those for a while, since it was kinda the only way for me to feel some tiny amount of intimate connection with another person. I’ve never thought that I could meet a real friend in a place like this. A very good friend at that. Best one I currently have.
After the first month, the project’s growth had pretty much increased exponentially, exceeding my wildest expectations. That came as quite a shock, not gonna lie. I still can hardly believe that we have actually managed to cross a barrier of $1500, as of today.
With this amount of money, I can say that I am finally earning enough money in order to live by myself without going bankrupt. It's not cheap since I cannot make any food by myself, but with the amount I have, living on my own is finally something that is doable. The money had helped Bunny as well, since thanks to that, she had managed to go part time, partially escaping from a very shitty job that was draining her mentally. She can take better care of her family too, since they depend on her.
So... yeah, I can’t believe I am gonna admit this but, I feel like I am finally getting close to having something resembling a normal life again. Perhaps with a little bit of extra money, I can even hire a girl from time to time, to make myself remember how human touch feels like. Obviously, that’s really the most happiness I can have in my situation, but this might just be enough in order for me to want to keep living and fighting against my fate.
This project is everything to me. I will always continue to push forward and make all the effort to push its boundaries and deliver the best content I possibly can, working as if my life depended on it. Well, as you already know now, it kinda does.
This brings me to the final thing I wanted to say. I know I have said this many times on many occasions already, but perhaps now that you know more about me, you will know the true meaning behind my words:
Thank you, everyone. Thank you for being with me on this amazing journey.
Xan.
Comments
Sandyclaws
*big hug* you are a good man
Jeris Salvesen
I respect you, you are strong for fighting this far my dude
