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[Cheat] Chapter 7: Camping
🕑 Added 2025-02-17 04:06:49 +0000 UTCPaimon tilted her head in confusion. “Amber? Who’s that?”
Zephyr ignored her question and asked, “First, tell me, how have you guys been cooking your food up until now?”
Paimon looked surprised. “You don’t know? Out in the wild, there are these magical campfires. As long as it’s not raining, they’ll never go out.”
“Alright, then where’s the campfire?”
“Hmph!” Paimon crossed her arms, looking smug.
“That’s where the all-knowing guide, Teacher Paimon, comes in! Let me tell you, Teacher Paimon has memorized the location of every campfire near Mondstadt. If we walk a little further east, we’ll find one.”
“Oh?”
Following her directions eastward for a short while, they did indeed find a campfire.
“Well, I guess you’re somewhat useful.”
“What do you mean somewhat useful?!”
Using the campfire, they quickly prepared some simple roasted mushrooms and baked apples. After eating, Zephyr leaned against a tree to rest.
“Isn’t this kind of unsafe?” He thought about it for a moment and decided it wasn’t secure enough, so he climbed up the tree instead.
Sleeping in a tree was definitely safer than sleeping on the ground—that’s something Bear Grylls taught him!
What made this situation more complicated was that when Zephyr logged out, Lumine wouldn’t log out with him. She also wouldn’t regain her ability to move.
After all, she had made a wish to the world and paid the price of her freedom—there was no way to exploit any loopholes.
Zephyr sighed. “I can’t even log off like this. Forget it, I’ll just leave it idle.”
“Lumine, Paimon, from now on, the three of us will take turns keeping watch at night.”
Paimon looked unhappy. “Ehh~”
“Since it gets completely dark around 7 PM in this world, I’ll take the first shift until midnight. Lumine will watch from midnight to 3 AM, and Paimon from 3 AM to 6 AM.”
“Hmm, I want the second shift.”
“How am I supposed to wake you up if you take the second shift?”
“Uh… fine. I’ll take the third shift, then.”
The three of them agreed on the watch schedule. Paimon and Lumine quickly fell asleep, leaving Zephyr to stand guard.
In the real world, this time of night was just the beginning of Zephyr’s evening routine.
"Let’s order some takeout first," he muttered, feeling a mix of emotions. "If I told anyone about what happened today, no one would believe me."
Opening the game forums, he saw that on the very first day of launch, someone had already reached Adventure Rank 20!
“What the heck?! How did you guys pull that off?” he murmured while casually scrolling through the comments.
- “Keqing is my waifu!”
- “Diluc is the coolest!”
- “I’ve been feeling terrible these past few days. My wife and I got into a fight over Genshin Impact and now we’re on the verge of divorce.
Let me explain. Recently, Genshin Impact released Ganyu. I got scammed by the weapon banner earlier, so I didn’t have many Primogems saved up.
I secretly took some spare money from my account and bought three 648-yuan packs. But then my wife found the transaction texts on my phone. After interrogating me, I confessed it was to pull for Ganyu.
She was furious, saying I spent money on a ‘busty coconut goat,’ and even threatened to smash my phone. In a moment of panic, I pushed her—well, I was trying to grab my phone back.
She stumbled, looked stunned for a moment, and then started crying. No matter how much I apologized, she wouldn’t listen. When I tried to help her up, she refused and kept crying about divorcing me and moving back to her hometown, saying I should just go live with Ganyu instead.
She said a lot of angry things that I won’t repeat here. Long story short, I’ve said all the nice things I can think of, but nothing’s worked.
I’m at a loss. If she goes back to her hometown, people are going to ask what happened. When they hear I pushed her, I’ll be done for.
What should I do? Can someone help me talk to her? Oh, by the way, my wife’s name is Keqing. If anyone knows her, can you please help me talk some sense into her?”
“Slick. Way too slick.” Zephyr chuckled and gave the post a like.
As he was eating, a news notification popped up on his screen:
"Increased Reports of Aura Revival Worldwide!"
Zephyr skimmed through the article. It explained how the phenomenon of aura revival was becoming more widespread, with reports from various countries confirming new occurrences.
Zephyr remained unfazed. “Nothing new. I’ve gotten used to it.”
He glanced at the clock and realized it had been a year since he first crossed over to this world.
At first, this world felt almost identical to the one he came from—ordinary, with a similar time period. The only difference was that some novels and anime he used to enjoy didn’t exist here.
But then, things started getting bizarre. Aura revival? Seriously?!
At first, the authorities tried to cover it up, but it eventually became impossible to hide. They had no choice but to come clean.
Now, the general public was well aware of aura revival, and it was treated as common knowledge.
Fortunately, the current aura revival phenomenon was broad in scope but involved relatively few incidents, so public life and safety were still largely assured.
“Whatever. No point overthinking it. Time to sleep.” Aura revival or not, life would go on as usual.
At midnight, Zephyr woke up Lumine.
He had wanted to let Lumine sleep a bit longer and wake Paimon first, but he couldn’t. He had to speak through Lumine, so she had to be awake first.
“Ah~ I’m so sleepy,” Lumine yawned.
“Hang in there. I’ll wake Paimon up a bit earlier.”
Hmm, maybe wake her up at 2:30.
“No need. That’d be too hard on Paimon,” Lumine said, glancing at the sleeping Paimon. In her sleep, Paimon looked so adorable and sweet that Lumine couldn’t help but imagine taking a bite out of her.
Suddenly, sleeping Paimon shivered inexplicably in her dreams.
Lumine’s expression softened into one of affection. “Paimon is so small; she should sleep a bit more. Okay, I’ll wake her at 1 a.m. instead.”
“Wow, you’re even sneakier than I am,” Zephyr muttered.
Of course, they were just joking around. Paimon was so cute; how could they bear to make her stay up late?
At this moment, Zephyr couldn’t help but miss a certain coconut goat. Specifically, he missed her enthusiasm for voluntarily working overtime.
“Paimon, take notes!”
Lumine said, “Even though I’ve gotten used to living in the wild, it’s still so uncomfortable. My neck is stiff, and my whole body aches. I really miss my bed back home…
Ever since I came to Teyvat, I haven’t had a single good night’s sleep. It’s all that wretched god’s fault!”
“You’re making me feel guilty about sleeping. Don’t worry. Once we get to Mondstadt, I’ll make sure to get you a big, comfy bed!”
Once they reached Mondstadt, they could always crash at the Knights of Favonius headquarters. Hmm, should they borrow Amber’s bed? Or Jean’s? Or maybe Barbara’s?
What? Refuse? Surely no one would turn away a poor, weak, and perpetually hungry Traveler, right? No way.
“Well, I’m heading to bed now. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
Zephyr turned the volume on his speakers up to max and went to sleep.
...
A loud scream jolted him awake.
“Help! Don’t eat me! Don’t eat me! I’m small and have no meat on me. Go eat the Traveler instead!”
...
