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[Game] Chapter 19: Ichin’s Sudden Burst of Inspiration
🕑 Added 2024-11-09 08:31:48 +0000 UTC"I finished writing the second volume of my novel, so today I took it to the publishing house for my editor to review," Utaha said, lightly spinning the cup in her hand with a dejected look. "But after reading it, my editor flatly rejected it and told me to rewrite the whole thing."
Rejected, huh?
Ichin looked at her quietly and extended his hand. "Do you have the manuscript for the second volume? Let me take a look. I’ve never written a novel, but I’ve read quite a few. I also read your first volume, so I might be able to give you some feedback from a reader's perspective."
Utaha nodded, not refusing. She pulled a stack of printed pages from her bag and handed them over.
"I was originally planning to just throw it away," she admitted. "But in the end, I decided to keep it so I could study it more carefully later."
She stopped herself from saying more, glancing at Ichin, but he didn’t notice as he was already flipping through the manuscript.
Just then, the door to their private room was knocked on, and the server brought in the large order of food they had requested. As the grill heated up, Ichin placed a pile of meat on it and said, "You go ahead and eat. I'll take a look at your manuscript. Eating something good when you're feeling down can help cheer you up. That’s what I always do."
“Thanks,” Utaha replied.
The sizzling meat on the grill released a mouthwatering aroma, making Utaha, who hadn't eaten all afternoon, feel a sudden surge of hunger. Despite worrying about her weight, she decided to indulge, just as Ichin suggested. She reasoned that she could cut back on food for the next few days to make up for it.
The meat quickly cooked, and Utaha picked up a few pieces, placing half of them on Ichin's plate. "Ichin-kun, you should eat too."
"In a minute," Ichin responded, not moving and still reading the manuscript as he turned another page.
After around five minutes, Ichin finally put down the papers and took a bite of the grilled pork belly. He looked across at Utaha and said, "Although I only read a little bit, just from the beginning of the second volume, I can see why your editor rejected it."
"Really? Go ahead, tell me. I want to see if it matches what my editor said," Utaha replied, curious because Ichin had accurately pinpointed several issues with her first volume.
Pointing to the manuscript, Ichin said, "In the opening, you introduced two new characters at once. I'm guessing they’re the second male and female leads, right? You wrote quite a bit about how the main characters met these two new ones, and you also depicted the second male lead's growing affection for the female lead, as well as the second female lead's feelings for the second male lead. From this, I’m guessing you’re aiming to write a love polygon?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I intended," Utaha said, looking surprised. "How did you guess so accurately? Have you read a lot of romance novels?"
"Not really," Ichin chuckled. "It’s just that your descriptions were pretty clear, so it was easy to guess."
He continued, "Actually, this setup isn’t bad. With this kind of development, you can write some emotionally intense scenes in the future. But, as a light novel, it comes across as too cliché, like just another love polygon. Also, your second female lead’s personality is too similar to the main female lead’s. It’s best to differentiate them more."
That's exactly what Ms. Machida said!
Utaha widened her eyes in astonishment and stared at Ichin. Slapping her hands on the table, she quickly pulled out a small notebook and pen from her bag, her eyes sparkling. "Do you have any good suggestions? Please help me!"
"How about we eat first?"
"Suggestions first, then we eat! I’m paying for this meal!"
"Is it that serious?" Ichin sighed at Utaha’s serious expression. He took out his phone and searched for some light novel titles. Suddenly, he remembered a drama he had seen in his previous life that didn’t exist in this world.
"So, light novels usually don’t focus solely on intense emotions," Ichin began. "You could try leaning a bit more towards romantic comedy. For example, this is just a suggestion, but you could change the second male lead’s characterization. Instead of having him like the female lead, you could write him as just wanting to be friends with her—because he actually likes the male lead instead."
"Pfft! Cough, cough! What did you just say?!" Utaha coughed, staring at Ichin in disbelief. "Are you saying the second male lead should like the male protagonist?"
Ichin nodded with a grin. "See, you're shocked, right? And this is just a basic idea. If you write the story well, this could be a really interesting angle. Of course, the main male lead has to stay straight, but the friendship between them would make the revelation of the second lead’s feelings more entertaining. The female lead, who thought she had everything under control, would then find out that her new rival is a guy. And you wouldn’t want to make the second male lead’s feelings too explicit—leave some ambiguity for the readers to speculate."
Listening to Ichin, Utaha gradually sank into thought, feeling that this approach was indeed much more interesting than her current draft.
Her creativity sparked, Utaha eagerly said, "And then, the second female lead, who likes the second male lead, would try all kinds of ways to ‘straighten him out’! She could even ask the male and female leads for help, which could also strengthen the bond between them!"
Seeing Utaha so inspired, Ichin smiled and ate a piece of grilled beef tongue.
"It looks like you’ve got the rest figured out," Ichin remarked. "But keep in mind, this is just a suggestion. The downside of this approach is that the second male and female leads would take up quite a bit of screen time, so you’ll need to balance that with the main characters’ development."
Utaha diligently jotted everything down, her spirits completely lifted. She beamed and said, "I get it. I’ll carefully balance things out! This is an amazing direction!"
Then, remembering her mother's words earlier, Utaha hesitated for a moment before cautiously asking, "Ichin-kun, you seem really knowledgeable about this stuff. Don’t tell me your interests are..."
Ichin’s hand, which was holding a piece of grilled meat, twitched, and the meat fell back onto his plate.
He almost lost his composure.
Deep breath, deep breath…
Ichin looked at Utaha seriously and declared, "Let me make this absolutely clear: My name is Ichin, male, and I’m very much into girls!"
…
