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[Superman] Chapter 205: The Annoying Deadpool
🕑 Added 2024-08-21 16:03:03 +0000 UTCMeanwhile, in a secluded alley behind a police station a few blocks away from the company building, a garbage can stood tall. Suddenly, the garbage can began to shake violently, as if some small animal like a cat or dog was trapped inside, desperately struggling to get out.
Bang!
The intense shaking caused the garbage can to tip over.
Trash spilled everywhere, and amidst the piles of garbage, something seemed to be slowly wriggling, crawling its way out.
“Pfft… yuck, yuck, yuck! Those damn bastards, they actually threw me away like trash! This is outrageous!”
A small figure, about the size of a baby, with just a torso and no limbs, struggled to crawl out of the garbage can.
As he spat out the trash that had filled his mouth, he cursed furiously at those who had dumped him into the garbage.
Deadpool regained consciousness while inside the garbage can. His powerful healing factor allowed his remaining cellular material to successfully merge and reform his head.
After some time, his torso also regenerated, though his limbs had yet to grow back.
Now, unable to stand the stench inside the garbage can any longer, Deadpool shook his torso violently, finally crawling out of the foul-smelling container.
As Deadpool escaped the garbage can, his healing speed began to increase. Soon, his limbs started to regrow.
Although they were still short, his limbs began to look more like those of a toy doll with short arms and legs, rather than those of a fully grown human.
His oversized adult head, paired with a body about the size of a baby’s and tiny limbs even shorter than an infant’s, gave him a bizarre appearance.
Anyone who saw him would find it hard to believe this strange creature was human.
“First, I need to find a safe place to fully recover my body…”
Deadpool had been through countless near-death experiences and had been reborn many times.
Although situations where his entire body had to regenerate from cellular tissue were rare, he had experienced them before. Now that his limbs had regrown, albeit still short, Deadpool didn’t wait around.
He started to run, moving his tiny legs, which were less than ten centimeters long, in search of a safe place to recover.
However, his legs were so short that even though they were as flexible as an adult’s, he was running at a snail’s pace, not much faster than a real baby.
It took him several minutes just to cover a few dozen meters down the alley.
“Phew… I’m exhausted!”
Deadpool was soon out of breath, exhausted from his efforts. Fortunately, his limbs and body were continuing to grow rapidly.
It wouldn’t be long before they reached the size of a normal child, giving him enough strength and speed.
Whoosh!
Suddenly, just as Deadpool was sitting on the ground, trying to catch his breath, a sound like a jet fighter passing overhead echoed through the sky, followed by a sonic boom.
“Oh my God! Is Superman invading the Marvel Universe?”
The next moment, Deadpool saw a figure that left him in disbelief, descending from the sky with a cape gently fluttering behind him.
Compared to Deadpool’s current tiny form, this imposing figure brought an overwhelming sense of awe.
“I finally found you, Deadpool…”
Peter, who had been scanning the area, looked at the odd figure before him and immediately recognized him as the recently resurrected Deadpool.
“Just as the rumors said, even if reduced to mere cellular material, he can regenerate and quickly grow back his body…”
Peter had heard that Deadpool’s healing factor was even stronger than Wolverine’s, and now he was seeing it for himself.
“Wow, you actually know me?”
As Peter examined Deadpool with interest, Deadpool, too, looked at this Superman-like figure, his eyes filled with surprise and curiosity.
Having traveled through many universes, Deadpool didn’t remember any Superman-like beings in his own universe. The real Superman, it seemed, only existed in the neighboring DC Universe.
“But shouldn’t you be busy upholding justice in the DC Universe, fighting that cute bald guy? What are you doing here?”
Unlike most people who would be intimidated by Superman’s imposing figure and powerful presence, Deadpool was different.
His strong healing ability had long made him fearless. Even if faced with a god, Deadpool would still throw a punch, though the result might be his arm shattering upon impact.
“Heh, I should be the one asking you—why did you suddenly appear in this universe and try to assassinate Dr. Otto?”
Peter slowly descended in front of Deadpool, looking down at the oddly proportioned figure and asking him directly.
“Oh, I get it now. You’re here to avenge that guy, aren’t you?”
Hearing Peter’s question and the mention of Dr. Otto, Deadpool suddenly had a revelation.
...
"Hey, someone help! A poor, innocent kid is being bullied!"
Facing Peter, Deadpool suddenly yelled out. Given his current size, about as big as a baby, he looked up at Peter, who towered over him by more than a meter and a half.
It really did seem like a big adult was threatening a small child in a dark alley.
"If you don't want to die again, I'd suggest you keep your mouth shut..."
Peter's eyes glowed red, filled with an overwhelming sense of menace and intimidation as he stared down at Deadpool, who seemed a bit unhinged.
"Ugh..."
Seeing Peter's cold, dangerous gaze glowing with red light, Deadpool seemed to realize how serious the situation was.
He quickly raised his tiny hands and covered his oversized mouth, making a terrified expression.
Squawk, squawk, squawk...
If this were an anime, there would definitely be a row of black crows slowly flying overhead, signaling just how awkward the situation had become.
"Answer my question!"
After a long silence, Peter finally spoke again.
"Ahem, didn’t you just tell me to shut up?"
Deadpool lowered his hands from his mouth, looking innocent.
"Alright, sir, I’m a bit curious—who’s stronger, your heat vision or Cyclops' optic blasts?"
"Oh, by the way, you know Cyclops, right? There are mutants in this universe, right..."
Deadpool started rambling again, his words once more completely irrelevant.
Szz!
Peter didn’t hesitate. His eyes flared, and two beams of heat vision shot out, instantly slicing Deadpool's newly grown body and head in half.
"Hmph, you'll find out for yourself!"
Peter snorted, then grabbed Deadpool's head and shot into the sky.
...
Not long after, in a hidden space station far from Earth...
Peter suddenly appeared.
"Mr. Superman, you've arrived... Ah! What is that in your hand...?"
Reed, who was in the middle of conducting an experiment, felt Peter's sudden arrival. Just as he turned to greet him, he was shocked to see Peter holding a severed head.
Fortunately, his body had been modified, and his will was strong; otherwise, he would have been terrified by the horror-movie-like scene.
"Don't worry about it. This guy is immortal."
Peter casually placed Deadpool's head on the table with a thud.
"Uh? Immortal? Is that true?"
Reed naturally didn't believe that Peter would kill someone without reason.
Although the sight of Peter suddenly appearing with a head in his hand was somewhat frightening, Reed wasn't too shocked because of his trust in Peter.
Instead, he was more intrigued by the fact that this guy supposedly had the legendary immortality. His eyes were full of curiosity as he stared at Deadpool's head.
"Sir, why don't you let me take a closer look at this head and study it?"
Reed carefully examined the head, unable to resist asking Peter.
After all, for scientists like them who explore the mysteries of the universe, immortality was akin to breaking the rules of the cosmos, filling them with awe and a desire to investigate.
"If you don't start talking, I'm going to hand over your useless head to him for some brutal scientific experiments!"
Peter looked at Deadpool's head, which had its tongue sticking out, eyes closed, and an expression of death, and spoke sternly.
"Alright, friend, you win!"
Hearing that Peter was about to hand him over to the crazy scientist who was staring at his head like he wanted to dissect it, Deadpool suddenly snapped out of his deadpan state and started talking.
"Oh, fuck, this guy is really alive!"
Even Reed, who had seen a lot, couldn't help but take a step back when he saw Deadpool's severed head suddenly speak.
This was the first time he had encountered someone who could still talk nonchalantly after being reduced to just a head.
"Sir, what's going on with this guy?"
Reed had imagined immortality as having a strong regenerative ability, quickly healing any injuries and restoring consciousness.
But obviously, Deadpool was different. Even with his body severed and only his head remaining, his consciousness seemed unaffected. T
his went beyond the normal bounds of life as far as Reed was concerned.
"This guy is called Deadpool, an immortal who also happens to be an incredibly annoying jerk!"
Even Peter, after meeting Deadpool for the first time, couldn't help but feel some anger toward his behavior.
It was clear that this guy could be very unpleasant in certain situations.
"No way! In some universes, I'm actually quite popular, you know. They even made a few movies about me..."
"I have to say, the guy who played me did a decent job, though he only captured about a third of my charm..."
Despite being reduced to just a head, Deadpool's chatty nature wasn't affected. He continued to ramble on about things that made little sense.
"Enough! I'm not here to listen to your pointless babbling."
Peter's expression turned cold again.
"Mm!"
Seeing Peter's face turn icy once more, Deadpool tried to cover his mouth but quickly realized he no longer had hands.
Instead, he just pouted and closed his lips tightly, looking as if he were trying to be on his best behavior.
"Sir, this annoying guy is really..."
Even though it was Reed's first time encountering Deadpool, the brief interaction was enough for him to understand why people might find Deadpool so irritating.
"Reed, that's exactly what I want to find out."
Peter didn't answer Reed's question directly. Instead, he turned his gaze back to Deadpool's head.
"Which universe are you from? And why did you try to assassinate Dr. Otto?"
"What? This guy tried to assassinate Dr. Otto?"
Reed was surprised. He turned his attention to Deadpool, his eyes filled with confusion.
"Oh? You're Reed? Reed Richards?"
Rather than feeling any shame from being stared at by both men, Deadpool looked at Reed with a peculiar interest in his eyes.
"That's right, I'm Reed Richards. Do you know me?"
Reed found Deadpool's strange gaze unsettling. It seemed this annoying guy recognized him.
"Hehe, of course, I know you. You look younger than the you in other universes..."
"And not only do I know you, but I've also even personally..."
Deadpool suddenly smiled, as if he were meeting an old friend. Just as he was about to continue speaking, he seemed to realize something was off and abruptly stopped, awkwardly changing the subject.
"Ahem, let's talk about why I came to your universe instead..."
"Why?"
Although Reed was curious about what Deadpool had wanted to say, he was equally interested in Deadpool's origins, so he didn't press further.
"Because not long ago, I received a request from a strange guy to come to this universe and kill some special targets!"
Deadpool spoke casually, finally revealing the real reason and purpose behind his arrival in this universe.
"A request? To kill special targets? A mysterious figure?"
Peter pondered Deadpool's words. While this guy often seemed unreliable, what he was saying now didn't seem like a lie.
"Who were the other targets besides Dr. Otto? And do you know the true identity of the one who hired you?"
After a brief moment of thought, Peter asked again.
"Well... there weren't any specific targets. He just told me to kill as many higher-ups at Stellar Tech as possible to create chaos and buy him some time for his plan..."
"As for that mysterious person's identity, although he hid it well, I actually figured it out a while ago!"
Deadpool answered nonchalantly, then gave Reed a mysterious look.
"Actually, that guy's true identity is related to him!"
...
(End of Chapter)
