egscomics
patreon
Cinderella - 80 - HD
🕑 Added 2025-08-26 03:01:08 +0000 UTC"So what obvious reason are you here for?" - https://www.egscomics.com/egsnp/cinder-080
"The most obvious reason of all, obviously."
"Free food?"
"Free food. Also wine."
Commentary
What's the point of fiction if you can't occasionally write a ridiculously forward line like that, and have it be so well received?
No point, that's what.
Again for the fun of it, I wrote a novel-like version of this. I enjoyed getting into Liz's inner thoughts more with it.
I'm also gradually expanding my vocabulary, because my GOODNESS does one trip over good reasons to find new words while writing. I don't think that happened so much here, but I want to comment on it anyway. When you're not just writing mostly dialogue, there are many more opportunities to use the same words too frequently, and to have reason to find some way to say something that isn't just "and then A did a thing, and B did another thing."
The novelization of the film
The green haired woman, her unsaid name Liz, looked at Ashley. Ashley’s blushing and look of continuous amazement amused her, but Liz knew why Ashley was there. She knew why each and every bleating woman was there that night, showing off their wool.
“So you’re here looking for a rich nobleman to woo and wed?” Liz’s intonation was that of a question, but she saw it as stating the obvious. She anticipated Ashley’s baa of confirmation.
“That’s what I’m supposed to be doing,” Ashley said, staring intensely at Liz’s eyes with a look of perpetual wonder.
“‘Supposed’ to be doing?” That wasn’t the tone Liz had expected. “What do you want to be doing?”
Ashley spoke with calm certainty as she kept looking into Liz’s eyes, her expression never wavering. “I want to dance with you. I want to feel my hands in yours. I want to be held in your arms, and to not think at all of the future as I rest my head gently against your shoulder, blissfully content within the warmth of your embrace.”
Liz stared back into those eyes, her heart racing. She had no intent of letting it show, but her face betrayed her, her own eyes wide, her own cheeks red.
After a moment, she responded with “sure, we can do that.” She meant it to sound as though she barely cared, or simply had nothing better to do.
She failed.
--
More comics at egscomics in partnership with Hiveworks
Comments
Rémy
I'm not coming on strong, YOU'RE coming on strong!
M.
...wow. Ashley has had something awakened in her, and points to her for just straight-up going for it.
Jenora Feuer
That is the sort of line that mainstream Ashley wishes she could pull off, and might practice in front of the mirror before blushing madly if she realizes anybody overheard.
Raphaël
Oh novelization... that was a great read! But now I'm highly confused, is that canon, or fanfic? Or maybe EGS:NP canon for that specific sub-story, if there's such a thing? I was going to joke "to be continued on AO3 or FFN" but I just realized now that there are already 245 EGS entries on AO3! I can't keep up.
