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Chapter 196 — Nijika’s Kiss
🕑 Added 2025-10-04 17:01:32 +0000 UTCAt that moment, the livestream chat exploded.
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[W-wait… why does it suddenly feel like Suki-sensei’s words are so heavy…]
[But I like him even more now!]
[Is Suki-sensei seriously declaring all-out war against the industry powers?!]
[The new song is about to drop too!]
[……]
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But neither Aoki nor the rest of the girls paid any attention to the scrolling comments anymore.
Nijika—
After hearing those words from Aoki, after hearing him say “If it weren’t for Kessoku Band, I wouldn’t still be walking this path of music”…
Ijichi Nijika’s mind went completely blank.
She didn’t know what she should be thinking.
She didn’t know what kind of expression she should be showing.
Her head was buzzing, her chest aching, her heart racing.
An urge to cry welled up inside her.
In that moment, how was she supposed to face Aoki-senpai?
Just earlier, she had thought—I should let go completely. Stop caring so much. That’ll be enough.
But now…
Now that she’d heard those words from him, how could she still think that way?
…
As Nijika’s thoughts spiraled, the program went on.
About twenty minutes later, the host finally wrapped things up with a polite thank-you and goodbye.
The KL Company’s livestream recording was over.
Normally, once work was finished, the atmosphere around Kessoku Band would lighten immediately.
But today… things felt different.
After saying their goodbyes to Fujita Masahito and the producer, the group boarded the train back toward STARRY.
The studio was about a 15-minute ride away.
No one said a word on the way.
It was winter—short days, long nights.
Even though it was barely past six, the world outside the train window was already swallowed by darkness.
Inside, the harsh lights were blinding; outside, nothing but an endless black.
The train jolted to a stop.
They disembarked and walked back toward STARRY.
At the entrance, Kita and Bocchi were the first to excuse themselves and head off.
Ryo lingered for a moment, staring at Aoki with unreadable eyes, before hesitating briefly—then saying she too would head home.
And so, with STARRY’s business resuming for the night, only two remained behind:
Aoki and Nijika.
The livehouse was lively, filled with customers.
Colorful lights flashed, music rumbled through the air—bright, noisy, chaotic.
Aoki stepped inside and fell silent.
Still, not a word passed between the two of them.
Seconds ticked by.
Finally, Nijika drew in a breath, turned toward him, and smiled.
That same bright smile she always wore.
“Aoki-senpai,” she said softly, “I… I’m a little tired today, so… I’ll head home too.”
Her voice was quiet, almost fragile.
Nijika didn’t know how to face him.
Her instincts told her to bear all the pressure alone.
But when faced with something she couldn’t carry by herself—she didn’t know what to do anymore.
But Aoki—he had already made up his mind.
Once he decided, he would no longer waver.
He knew her well.
He knew Nijika’s nature, her determination.
Even though he had told her before, “If something’s bothering you, just come to me,” he knew—at a time like this, she would never be the one to speak up.
But for him—
He couldn’t allow that fake smile to be the ending to this story.
“Wait—” Aoki said firmly, looking her straight in the eyes.
“Even if you don’t have anything you want to say to me… I have something I want to say to you.”
His tone left no room for refusal.
Without giving Nijika a chance to object, he took her by the wrist.
Turning back only briefly, he pulled her along as he spoke:
“It’s too noisy here. The recording studio’s quieter. Let’s talk there.”
Hand in hand, he led her away.
Meanwhile, Nijika felt the warmth of his grip against her wrist.
Half pulled, half following, she stepped toward the studio with him.
And the wall she had built up inside her—the one telling her, “Whatever it is, at least wait until tomorrow”—collapsed completely.
Panic stirred in her chest.
She didn’t know how to face Aoki-senpai.
She didn’t know what he would say.
She didn’t know how he would react to these strange, turbulent emotions of hers.
…
Once inside the recording room, Aoki finally let go and turned to face her.
“Ahem—” He cleared his throat lightly, deliberately putting on a serious expression.
For a couple of seconds, he just looked at her, saying nothing.
Nijika bit her lip and instinctively looked away, blinking.
He had expected her to bottle everything up again, to keep it all locked inside.
But what he hadn’t expected was that after only a few seconds of eye contact—she couldn’t even hold his gaze anymore.
He sighed softly.
He understood.
At least seventy percent of the reason Nijika looked like this… was because of him.
He had kept secrets from the band.
He had let them worry.
He had avoided her feelings, leaving her hurt and confused.
Those were his mistakes.
And yet, he also knew—Nijika would never blame him.
Her heart didn’t work that way.
Instead, she was probably blaming herself.
Telling herself that she was holding Kessoku Band back.
Telling herself that she was the one limiting his future.
Telling herself that she should have noticed his troubles earlier, so he wouldn’t have to carry the weight alone.
But she was wrong.
She shouldn’t have to bear that burden.
She shouldn’t have to force herself like this.
Looking at her now—her delicate, adorable face clouded with sadness—Aoki finally spoke.
“Nijika, listen to me.”
His voice was gentle, clear, soft as always.
“The truth is, I once told Kita something… about myself.
I’m someone with a bad personality.
I make decisions recklessly, without thinking about the consequences.
And when everything falls apart, I often just… want to run away. I hesitate, I falter, I avoid facing the problems head-on.
That’s my biggest flaw.”
He paused.
Nijika still wouldn’t meet his eyes.
Her lashes trembled as she looked down.
Hearing his words, her lips parted slightly, as if she wanted to say something—
But in the end, she pressed them together, swallowed it back down, and stayed silent.
Aoki continued speaking.
“But now—well, I know this sounds like an excuse after the fact... cough... I really do want to change these bad habits of mine.
I want to make up, even just a little, for the mistakes I’ve made before. For hiding things about myself and making everyone worry…
For ignoring your feelings, Nijika… for running away, for being selfish, and for neglecting the opinions of the others in the band...”
His voice reached Nijika’s ears.
It shouldn’t have been him saying these things.
He wasn’t the one who should be apologizing—yet here he was, taking all the blame onto himself.
The pain in her chest tightened.
She lowered her head, tears welling in her eyes.
She drew in a sharp breath, wanting to say something—but her throat felt like it was blocked, as though no sound could escape.
All she could do was bite her lip, bow her head, and shake it ever so slightly.
But Aoki kept speaking.
His voice never wavered.
It remained steady, flowing into her heart.
Gentle as always.
Gentle—so gentle, softer than the snow drifting outside in winter.
“So… about everything that happened these past few days—” his voice softened even further, “I’m sorry.”
“...”
The moment those words fell into her ears, Nijika’s breath froze.
Her tears spilled freely.
She hated herself in that moment.
Because she couldn’t say anything.
Because she couldn’t do anything.
Because she kept letting Aoki worry about her, over and over again, without reason, without end.
‘He shouldn’t be the one apologizing.’
‘This isn’t his fault.’
‘It’s not…’
With all her strength, she forced her gaze up to him.
Her vision blurred from the tears, but she still tried to look at him.
“N-no... it’s not...” Nijika’s voice trembled.
She wanted to reject his apology outright, but her throat choked with sobs.
No words would come out properly.
Until—
She took a deep, trembling breath. She raised a hand to wipe her tears.
If she had to face this—then she would.
If this needed an ending—then she would face it head on.
Even if the answer wasn’t what she wanted.
Even if it hurt.
Because it shouldn’t be Aoki who carried all of this.
So—
“So it’s not true!” Nijika’s voice rang out, louder this time, almost desperate.
“My sadness… your secrets… the problems the band faced before…”
“None of it—none of it is your fault, Aoki-senpai!”
“You shouldn’t have to carry this burden!”
Her voice cracked.
Her chest tightened, but she forced the words out anyway.
“So—if all of this is just because you’re being kind... if it’s only out of kindness—then you shouldn’t go this far for the band!”
Her vision was still blurred with tears.
And after that outburst, her voice broke completely.
The tears wouldn’t stop now.
She had given everything in that moment, forced herself to scream her truth.
Now, all she wanted—was his reply.
No matter if it hurt. No matter if it crushed her.
Even if his words would bring an ending she feared… she wanted to hear his answer.
Just the truth. Nothing more.
Her eyes shook, her vision clouded with tears.
...
Looking at the tear-streaked face before him, hearing Nijika’s voice—fragile, trembling, yet filled with her heart—Aoki fell silent.
How should he respond to this?
Her eyes quivered under his gaze.
The recording studio was filled only with the sound of their breathing.
He knew—he had to give her an answer.
So—
After a long moment of silence, he finally spoke.
Not to deny her.
Not to confirm everything either.
Just quietly, softly—after shaking his head a little—he said,
“Nijika… things like this—responsibility, blame… you can’t really divide them up evenly. No one can measure them that way.”
“Kindness, responsibility… those aren’t just habits of mine. If it had been a stranger, with my personality? Honestly—I wouldn’t have done any of this.”
“So really—you don’t need to overthink it.”
He exhaled softly.
“In the end, it doesn’t matter what the reason was. The truth is—because it’s you, Nijika. Because it’s you, I find myself acting without thinking. Because it’s you, I can smile even while carrying the weight of everything.”
The words hung in the air.
Nijika’s breath quickened.
Her fingers trembled.
Her nose stung, and the urge to cry out loud nearly overwhelmed her again.
But she forced it down.
Because those words were already more than enough to ease her heart.
And yet… as if refusing to believe it… she spoke again, through sobs:
“But… no matter what, Aoki-senpai… you still shouldn’t have to do this for me… I-I haven’t done anything for you…”
Her voice cracked into broken sobs.
But before she could finish—
Aoki suddenly interrupted her.
“There is.”
Aoki looked straight at Hoshino Nijika, his gaze catching the faint golden strands of her hair.
“I told you before, didn’t I? That my life only felt complete after I met Kessoku Band. And it’s because of you, Nijika, that I was able to make it this far.”
“You’ve said so many things to me and I remember every single one.”
His voice was steady, carrying the weight of every memory he recalled. In his mind, her words resurfaced vividly, as if etched into him.
“You said you wanted to become the world’s number one drummer and play the loudest sound.”
“You said you’d take that skill and lead us to become the most famous band in the world.”
“You said you wanted Starry to shine across even more places.”
“And then…”
“That night by the vending machine, under the neon lights—you told me you’d carry my dreams, and with everyone, see it through until the end.”
“...It’s because you said all that, Nijika, that I was able to keep walking this path.”
Aoki spoke quietly.
And then, just like that night when he accepted the orange soda she handed him, he added, “So… Nijika, whether you want to lean on everyone in Kessoku Band, or even just on me alone—it’s fine. Really. Even if you’re selfish sometimes, that’s completely okay.”
In that instant, Nijika’s mind went blank.
Everything she’d been holding back started to crumble.
She realized she couldn’t stop it anymore—the overwhelming urge to cry.
Tears streamed down her cheeks, unstoppable, blurring her vision.
She tried wiping them away, but the more she tried, the less she could see.
So she gave up.
She simply looked at Aoki.
Her breath hitched, her voice shaking, but she forced the words out like they were carved from her very soul.
“I hate you, Aoki-senpai… I really, really hate you.”
“I was ready to give up.”
“I had already decided I couldn’t keep going.”
“I’d convinced myself, over and over again…”
“Ever since the very beginning… it’s always been the same. You’re too kind. Too kind—it hurts to hate you for it.”
Through her blurred vision, Kei’s face reflected in her eyes.
That crushing pain inside her chest had somehow dissolved.
Even as she whispered, “I hate you,” what welled up in her heart was something else entirely.
All she wanted, at that moment, was to hold him.
“How am I supposed to face you after this, Aoki-senpai…?”
“Aoki-senpai.”
“Aoki-senpai.”
The tears wouldn’t stop.
But she remembered his words—
“Even if you’re selfish sometimes, that’s completely okay.”
The recording studio was bathed in soft amber light.
The soundproof walls drowned out everything, leaving only their breaths in the quiet.
With tears at the corners of her eyes, Nijika took a trembling step forward.
In Aoki’s stunned gaze, the girl with wine-red eyes reached out and threw her arms around him with all the strength she had left.
She rose slightly onto her toes, tilting her head upward.
Pressed against him, she could hear his heartbeat thundering in her ears.
And she told herself—Senpai said it’s okay to be selfish.
So she closed her tear-streaked eyes.
And without the slightest hesitation—
Nijika’s trembling lips pressed firmly against Aoki’s.
