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Chapter 161 – A Sentimental November
🕑 Added 2025-09-17 19:37:37 +0000 UTCThe street wasn’t exactly bustling, but it wasn’t deserted either.
Every so often, a car would glide past, its whooshing sound brushing by Aoki’s ears.
Mixed with the rustling of leaves in the autumn wind, it all felt a little too noisy.
…
Right in front of him—
The clarity in the girl’s eyes was undeniable.
Kita’s words from moments ago—“I don’t want you to be alone anymore”—still rang in his ears.
Aoki opened his mouth, hesitating for a long moment.
He wanted to say something back… but in the end, he stayed silent.
He hadn’t expected this.
He could imagine Kita hesitating before nodding.
He could imagine her staying quiet.
But no matter how he pictured it, he never once imagined she would look at him with this mix of earnestness and uncertainty, and say something so close to a confession.
Right now, he had no idea what was going through her mind.
But her words—so similar to an outright declaration—were enough to throw his thoughts into chaos.
In his palm, the faint trace of her touch still lingered from just moments ago, and his heartbeat picked up ever so slightly.
“I want to share the responsibility with you, Kei-senpai.”
“I don’t want you to be alone anymore.”
This was the same apprentice guitarist who once ran away from the band because she was afraid of taking responsibility.
And now… she was saying this to him.
For a fleeting second, Aoki felt a real urge to just nod and agree.
But after a pause, after his silence, he pushed that feeling down.
On responsibility—
From the very start, Kessoku Band had no obligation to carry his burdens.
And Aoki never intended to let anyone pay for his mistakes.
He could take action to keep the band on track—but he couldn’t stand by and let the others suffer pressure because of him.
On love— Yes, he could make a move.
He could use every trick he knew to win this girl over, make her fall for him… and let himself fall for her too.
But what then?
The truth was, Aoki had always carried his own private unease toward the world.
That lack of belonging, that powerlessness rooted deep inside him for seventeen years—it never truly left.
Sometimes, he acted on impulse because of his personality.
But when it came to love—when it came to being with a girl—more often than not, those tangled thoughts made him take another step back.
He couldn’t lie to himself and say, “From here on, life will definitely be happy.”
So—
“Because of you all, I picked up an instrument. Because of you all, I chose this path…”
After a long silence, Aoki took a quiet breath and finally spoke.
His feet began moving again, turning him forward.
“So I stopped being alone a long time ago—whether it’s you, Kita, or everyone in Kessoku Band.”
He walked a few steps, then stopped again, putting some distance between them before turning back.
He understood Kita’s feelings.
He also understood his own.
He didn’t know if what he was doing made him a jerk… but he truly couldn’t bring himself to give a clean, decisive rejection.
People are selfish by nature.
If you’re together, you should take responsibility for it.
But if you’re still unsure… you can always wait a little longer.
Whether by playing dumb or seriously asking for “a little more time”—
“And besides—saying stuff like ‘I don’t want you to be alone anymore’… that’s way too cheesy. It’s not like I’m carrying the world on my shoulders. Like I said before, isn’t Kessoku Band doing better and better?”
His voice carried a hint of forced lightness, the kind you put on when you don’t want to show what you’re really feeling, along with a faint, deliberate smile.
After those words, he paused for a moment—
Then, taking another quiet breath, the smile and lightness vanished from his tone entirely.
“…Anyway, enough of this. It’s already past eight—go home and have dinner.”
…
This time, unlike just moments ago when she could have reached out and taken his hand, Kita now stood at a distance.
His response was clear.
Looking at him, she felt as though even her voice was trembling.
So she didn’t say anything at all.
But inside, her thoughts were a mess.
She knew—they had been getting closer, without a doubt.
And yet, just now, she had clearly felt… that he was far away.
She wanted to protest, to tell Aoki that he misunderstood, to explain that it wasn’t what she meant.
But the words wouldn’t come out.
In truth, sometimes, saying nothing at all is the clearest answer.
The autumn wind brushed past, and Kita felt a heavy ache in her chest.
Neither her “I want to share the responsibility with you” nor her “I don’t want you to be alone anymore” had been answered.
She looked up, meeting Kei’s eyes.
Her thoughts swirled in chaos.
After a few seconds, she lowered her gaze again.
Maybe her voice trembled less now—she wasn’t sure.
But so what?
So what if he didn’t answer?
So what if the distance felt so wide?
After that brief meeting of eyes, her tangled thoughts suddenly became clear.
Love had always been a one-sided thing.
This gap between them existed for a reason.
This silence wasn’t unreasonable.
Yes—love had always been one person’s feeling.
And if there was a wall, all that meant was she needed to find a way to break it down.
When she lifted her head again, her voice was steady.
“Mm.” She smiled, jogging a few steps to catch up to him. “I understand, Kei-senpai.”
———————————————————————
8:40 p.m.
When Aoki returned to his apartment, he felt, for once, no desire to dwell on anything.
He didn’t practice. He ate a light dinner, washed up, and went straight to bed.
The night passed quietly.
The next day, for the first time in a while, he returned to his old routine— wake up, morning run, school, afternoon practice.
But every time his fingers rested on the keys, the image of Kita’s “I understand” smile came rushing back.
It was November now.
The last stretch of late autumn— A month Aoki never liked.
