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499 – I Will Bear This Sin Myself
🕑 Added 2025-09-06 15:00:14 +0000 UTCThe little boy said it with all seriousness, while young Shouko’s face turned red—red like a ripe watermelon.
Her heart trembled with nerves, worried that Kyousuke-kun might have already seen through her secret feelings.
But even so, she wasn’t willing to learn the word too quickly.
Because this might be her one and only chance—her only chance to hear Kyousuke-kun say “like” to her, again and again.
People often realize in hindsight that certain moments are treasures for a lifetime.
But at the time, those feelings usually don’t hit as deeply.
Yet here and now, listening to Kyousuke-kun repeat “like” over and over, little Shouko was certain—this moment would be her treasure for life.
No matter how much joy or hardship her future held, this memory would give her strength to carry on.
Even if this was only Kyousuke-kun teaching her to speak, not a true confession, it was still precious.
Precious enough to savor for a lifetime.
Of course, Shouko didn’t keep pretending to get it wrong the whole time.
Occasionally, she got it right once or twice.
But at the end, with both reluctance and excitement, she repeated the word again and again.
“I like you! (すき!).”
“I like you! (すき!).”
“I like you! (すき!).”
“Like!”
Over and over.
Shouko’s small voice trembled with effort, her little hands gripping the edge of her chair tightly.
Her toes curled inside her school slippers.
Her face flushed so red it seemed she poured all her strength into those two syllables every single time.
“I like you (すき).”
Beside her, Naoka stopped hitting, staring in stunned confusion.
Why was Nishimiya Shouko shouting so loudly?
Though her hearing was impaired, Shouko’s sharp eyes picked up the surprised looks from those around her.
But she didn’t care.
She just kept repeating the word with all her might.
Because this wasn’t just her one chance to hear Kyousuke-kun say “like.”
It was also her one chance to say “su ki” to him openly.
Her round eyes stayed locked on his face. As long as she didn’t see displeasure there, she would keep shouting it.
At that moment, she was both brave and timid.
She wanted to seize the chance to say “like” out loud to Kyousuke-kun. But she was also terrified of seeing disapproval in his expression.
Yet Hojou, her “sun,” didn’t disappoint her.
That dazzling, warm sun showed no hint of clouds. In fact, his face—usually expressionless when teaching—softened slightly with gentle helplessness.
Seeing that little trace of helplessness, Shouko secretly stuck out her tongue in her heart. Her restless nerves calmed, just a little.
Because Kyousuke never showed helplessness toward strangers. He only did so for people who mattered to him. He wasn’t the type to tolerate being wronged, after all.
Hehe…
Her heart secretly bursting with joy, Shouko repeated “like” again and again, staring into his dark eyes—eyes as deep as the night sky.
Sometimes, she deliberately got it wrong, then looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes, waiting for him to gently correct her once more.
On her notebook, there was a special page.
A page filled with the word “like.”
Some written by her, but most by Kyousuke-kun. Japanese, English—even some languages she didn’t know.
All written on that single day when she asked him to.
It felt like happiness straight out of a dream.
If not for that page, Shouko would hardly believe such a moment really happened.
After all, memories often rewrite themselves—adding embellishments, making them more beautiful than they were.
And yet, every time she revisited that memory, it still felt just as sweet.
Back then was like now.
“I like you! (すき!).”
As Shouko watched his lips—those lips a little swollen, just like hers, from practicing—open and softly form the word, she felt dizzy, light, like she was floating above the clouds.
Am I dreaming?
Didn’t I tell myself there’d only be one chance in this lifetime to hear Kyousuke-kun say “like” to me?
Her mouth fell slightly open, her eyes blank with disbelief.
Even in her daze, his smile was so gentle.
Shouko’s thoughts spun, and then she heard it again—those two words engraved into her very bones.
‘Did I… go back to elementary school?’
Her mind reeled, until once again those clear, steady words rang in her ears:
Finally, Shouko realized it wasn’t a dream.
Nor was it an oxygen-starved hallucination from kissing him.
Kyousuke-kun had really… said it to her.
‘He really told me he liked me!’
Wait. If he said it, then doesn’t that mean—
Kyousuke-kun likes Shouko!
The revelation hit her like solving a complicated puzzle at last.
She gasped sharply, her breath catching.
Hojou Kyousuke likes Nishimiya Shouko!
Her clever little mind filled in the answer, and she inhaled the crisp spring air with all her strength.
“Ah—!!”
‘Kyousuke-kun said he liked me!!’
‘He said he liked me!!’
‘He said he liked me!!’
Not the kind of “like” from teaching me words, but the real kind.
The kind that means he likes Nishimiya Shouko.
Likes me. Me, as a person!
Joy exploded inside her before she even realized it.
Her lips curled into a radiant smile, teeth gleaming like pearls.
“Kyousuke-kun… are you helping me review this word?”
After a long struggle, Shouko finally managed to mumble out the question.
Her heart was in chaos. Angels and devils alike screamed in her head, furious that she’d wasted such a perfect moment on something so stupid.
But then she saw it—the grown-up boy across from her smiling that same familiar smile.
Gentle, helpless, full of affection.
And in that fond tone, he asked:
“Well then, Shouko… have you learned it now?”
The man he’d become asked her the exact same question as the boy who once held her hands, cupped her face, and taught her that word.
A shiver ran through her whole body. It felt like that same familiar air from long ago wrapped around just the two of them.
Inside her heart, a chorus of pink, round-headed “love-achievement darumas” screamed:
‘We didn’t take all your offering money for nothing!’
‘Now’s the time to claim your love achievement!’
‘Hurry, you dumb girl! Hurry and shout it out loud!’
They all bounced on her head, eyes wide and black, cute yet thunderously impatient, stomping nonstop until she wanted to laugh and cry.
‘Ugh, I know! Of course I know!’
‘How could I not know how to say “I like you”?’
I’ve already whispered it to myself countless times, practiced in front of the mirror again and again—my lips, my voice, they’re perfect by now!
‘I just… I just never thought I’d get another chance to say it to Kyousuke-kun.’
‘I never thought that first time wouldn’t be the last…’
“Hm? Haven’t learned it yet? Didn’t hear me clearly?”
The girl was being pummeled by the pink “darumas” in her head, when the boy across from her spoke again.
His brows knit slightly, as if troubled. This was something that hadn’t even happened back in sixth grade.
But the girl, who had told herself she was ready, didn’t panic.
Instead, she pressed her lips together, then timidly nodded—just like she had back then when she pretended to say it wrong over and over, just to make the boy repeat “like” to her again and again.
Her round eyes widened, but unlike the old days when she focused intently on Kyousuke-kun’s lips to read them, now she looked straight into his jet-black eyes.
In them, she saw something that made her heart flutter with both joy and embarrassment.
Kyousuke-kun was about to say he liked her.
The familiar voice. The familiar word. From the familiar boy.
Strangely, Nishimiya Shouko felt calm. She pressed her lips together once, twice, her clear eyes shimmering with tender emotion as she softly replied:
“I like you too..”
Seeing Kyousuke-kun’s smile grow brighter, Shouko didn’t stop there.
Instead, she rose on tiptoe, leaned forward, and crashed herself against him, her muffled voice spilling out in rapid succession:
“I like you! I like you! I really like you!!”
“Like, like… I love you the most!”
Kyousuke-kun liked Shouko.
And Shouko loved Kyousuke-kun most of all.
Hojou Kyousuke blinked in surprise, then his lips softened into a gentle smile.
He lifted his hand to wrap around her waist and rested his chin lightly on the crown of her head.
“Mm. Me too. I love Shouko the most too,” he whispered.
At his words, the girl buried her face deeper into his chest.
On the billboard above, a crow cawed irritably twice, tempted to drop a gift on the two upright apes beneath it—but it stopped itself, worried they’d mistake it for some sort of blessing.
The crow wasn’t stupid.
It knew these foolish creatures considered it a symbol of good fortune.
If it scolded them, they’d only cheer and call it “good luck.” Nothing annoyed a bird more.
At last—after a long, long time—the two finally parted. Not because the store behind them was closing, nor because the trash on the ground threatened to drown them, but simply because Shouko’s legs had gone numb.
“Uuuh…”
She stood frozen in place, wanting to sit but finding nowhere to rest.
Every little movement sent sharp tingles of pins and needles through her legs.
Shouko, oh Shouko. Kisses are sweet, but don’t get greedy.
Shouko, oh Shouko. Kyousuke-kun’s “like” is beautiful, but you didn’t need to rush.
You could’ve gone to a café, pulled out your phone, recorded it all—savored it slowly.
Shouko, oh Shouko. You’re such a fool.
Her lips trembled, and she pouted, feeling a little wronged by her own self-criticism.
“Pffft—"
Seeing her so cute and pitiful, Kyousuke burst into laughter.
When her teary eyes turned toward him, he quickly bent his knees into a horse stance, then pulled her onto his lap before her legs could recover.
“W-wah…!”
It wasn’t until her soft little bottom settled onto his firm thigh that Shouko let out a belated yelp.
“Do you want me to massage them for you?” Kyousuke asked.
“Eh? N-no, that’s okay!” Shouko waved it off in a hurry—then instantly regretted it.
Her legs were numb and aching, and his touch might make it worse… but if it was Kyousuke-kun, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad…
As for the strange, embarrassing position they were in now, Shouko didn’t care in the slightest.
At this moment, she was the happiest person in the world.
So there they sat—the boy in his black slacks and white shirt, on an invisible “air chair,” and the bun-haired girl in her denim skirt and pink T-shirt, perched on his lap.
It looked like some odd piece of street performance art.
Yet the boy smiled with indulgence, and the girl with bliss.
“Don’t feel guilty toward Sakura.”
Kyousuke’s sudden words broke the silence.
“Leave everything to me. Shouko doesn’t need to carry any burden.”
He had never said this to anyone else. But Shouko was different.
She was too kind.
“No!”
Her smile faltered, but her voice was firm.
“Whether it was kissing Kyousuke-kun, or hearing you say you like me, or saying it to you myself—Shouko felt so, so happy. Happier than anything. But!”
She lifted her little face.
Without realizing it, her legs had already recovered, but she didn’t move away.
She stayed seated on his lap, arguing with him.
“This happiness… I stole it from Sakura. I have to apologize to her.”
Her voice quivered ever so slightly, but her determination didn’t waver.
Even if Sakura grew angry.
Even if she lashed out.
Even if she cast Shouko out of her home.
She still had to confess. She had to apologize.
“…You,” Kyousuke sighed softly. This was Nishimiya Shouko, through and through.
Stolen happiness?
How could happiness ever be “stolen”?
Could something stolen even be called happiness?
What they had wasn’t stolen. What they had was love.
Of course, Shouko understood this. But she also loved Sakura.
She didn’t want the boy she loved most to become a “bad person.”
So if there had to be a villain, let it be her. Nishimiya Shouko would bear the sin herself, and free Kyousuke-kun from the weight of guilt.
That was who she was.
The Shouko who had grown so strong that even Eriri would gasp in astonishment.
“We’re family.”
He held her small hand gently.
“Sakura, you—I won’t let go of either. We’re family. From the very first moment we met, that was decided. Our lives will always be bound together, like this knot string—never to part.”
He lifted the hand entwined with hers. His sleeve slipped down, revealing the red-and-blue braided cord beneath.
As her eyes fell on the familiar string, Shouko immediately thought of Mitsuha—and with it, she finally understood the deeper meaning hidden in Kyousuke-kun’s words.
Not just her. Not just Sakura.
Mitsuha was family, too.
