InsomniaWL
patreon
423 Hikigaya Hachiman’s Unbreakable Bonds
🕑 Added 2025-08-03 15:00:12 +0000 UTC"Sorry, I probably won’t be home until really late tonight. No need to wait up."
Leaning against the wall and rubbing his temples, Kyousuke spoke into his phone, clearly worn out, he just got called from his subordinate about the result of Hatake Gorou “love”.
"Hahaha! Lending a shoulder to a heartbroken friend and crying seriously when they're down—that’s a rare life experience, don’t you think?"
Sakura’s energetic voice came through the speaker, full of excitement like she was ready to rush over and join Kyousuke in witnessing Hatake Gorou’s post-breakup misery firsthand.
"My ears are going to explode from his crying."
"Ohoho, so this is what kendo training is really for! No wonder companies give extra credit for it—those loud apologies during client meetings must come in handy!"
"Idiot. What companies care about is the grit and endurance from practicing kendo…"
That calm correction came from Yukinoshita, chiming in.
"Blah blah blah—I’m going to focus on class now! Kyousuke, you better not disappoint our hero of justice!"
"Yeah, and tell my mom I won’t be home."
"What, that you're spending the night comforting your crossdressing friend who just got dumped?"
"...Close enough."
After a few more words, Kyousuke ended the call, pushed open the door behind him, and entered the kendo clubroom.
It had been an hour since Yukinoshita had been struck by the realization that gifts could also be about giving something you love.
Hatake Gorou had now received the letter with a photo of the crossdressing Kuroda from behind—tucked inside.
Just thinking about that made Kyousuke remember Yukinoshita’s adorably awkward expression.
That girl… she's clumsily cute.
She'd chosen the gift completely from Gorou’s point of view, thinking only about what would make him happy, without considering herself at all.
But no matter the situation, there are always two sides.
For someone who always talks about “the art of understanding people,” she had no idea the hardest person to understand is often yourself.
Why give a gift? Why struggle to find something that suits the recipient? What even is the best kind of gift?
What does it say about the relationship between the giver and the receiver?
Is it more meaningful to give someone something that matters deeply to you? Or something you know will bring them joy?
It was a complex issue—even Kyousuke couldn’t give a clear answer. And Yukinoshita was still lost in thought over it.
"It’s about making a choice, Yukino-chan."
"A choice?"
Yukinoshita turned to look at Sakura, who was sitting beside her holding a pen… and not writing a single word.
"Mmhmm!"
Sakura nodded emphatically, putting on a wise expression like some mysterious guru.
"I see. So, determining the recipient’s preferences before giving the gift simplifies everything. Honest communication really is the best way to solve a problem."
Yukinoshita nodded in agreement.
Sakura was full of surprises.
Sure, most of the time she was unreliable, but now and then, she'd blurt out something oddly profound.
"No, no, no—then it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore! You didn’t see how you scared Kyousuke half to death today?"
Sakura shook her head dramatically and then smugly revealed her “answer.”
"It’s too complicated. Just pick one at random!"
...Yukinoshita shook her head. Of course.
Why had she expected anything insightful from Sakura?
"Giving a gift is about showing your feelings. And if you’re already struggling to choose between two options, then those feelings are already being conveyed."
"...Huh?" Yukinoshita furrowed her brows, beginning to ponder again.
"Come on, let’s get this homework done," Shouko tugged on Sakura’s sleeve.
The latter was too busy grinning at Yukinoshita like a troublemaker.
Only someone like Yukinoshita would take Sakura’s nonsense so seriously.
Shouko was 99% sure Sakura was just messing with her.
Sure, the reasoning sounded right—but Sakura never actually thought that hard about this stuff.
She didn’t overthink things.
If she saw something she liked and thought Hojou would like it too, she’d just give it to him.
Whether he needed it wasn’t the point—she just wanted to give it to him.
Like how she celebrated her birthday countless times in one year—not because she enjoyed being selfish, but because she simply loved that kind of joy.
“If birthdays make you that happy, why not celebrate more than one?” Only Sakura could say something so ridiculously sweet.
———————————————————————
Meanwhile on Kyousuke side, the reason why he kept picturing Yukinoshita’s stunned expression wasn’t just because she was cute.
It was because he really didn’t want to face Gorou.
As he’d told Sakura, if Gorou actually started bawling on his shoulder, those wails could cause irreversible damage to his hearing.
When Kyousuke entered the kendo clubroom, he found the usually loud and chaotic dojo disturbingly quiet.
Everyone in kendo gear was sitting cross-legged in front of the advisor’s private room.
Their serious expressions made it look like they were staging a silent protest or something.
If the door were to suddenly open right now, someone might actually collapse from fright.
These guys are unbelievable…
Kyousuke twitched his mouth.
Technically, that room was his personal break space. But right now, the one inside was Hatake Gorou.
Kyousuke had given him space earlier to open the letter privately.
From behind the thin walls of the not-so-soundproof room came the unmistakable screams of heartbreak—like a pig being slaughtered.
If any apprentice butcher ever made those sounds, they’d have their training period extended by a year.
And the club members gathered at the door? They weren’t praying or meditating.
They were eavesdropping, barely holding in their laughter.
Now that was true friendship.
When your buddy falls in love they said "WTF man."
When he gets dumped, "LMAO."
Kyousuke was no better, honestly.
He'd already laughed plenty back in the Service Club.
Now, as club president of kendo club, he had to keep a straight face.
Besides, falling for your crossdressing friend and getting rejected—what was so funny about that, right?
“Pffft—HAHAHAHA—"
His own laughter slipped out—and instantly, like a dam breaking, everyone sitting by the door burst into laughter.
They slumped over, chuckling uncontrollably.
The loudest, most dramatic cackling came from Zaimokuza Yoshiteru.
He was pounding the floor like some third-rate actor, wheezing with every hit.
Right beside him was Hikigaya Hachiman, also in tears—not from grief, but laughter.
You’d think he was the one who got dumped.
"Death to love! Death to all couples!" Zaimokuza cried out, throwing his fists in the air.
Hachiman raised both hands in support, joining the chant.
"DEATH TO LOVE!!"
The chorus grew louder, nearly drowning out poor Goro’s sobbing from within.
"I'm not surprised you all know about Gorou’s failed crush," Hojou Kyousuke muttered, watching the chaos unfold.
Black-haired Kuroda Kaito and ever-lively Mitsuhashi Ryoma were among those laughing the loudest.
Kuroda had shrugged with a grin, saying, “Wouldn’t it be weirder if we didn’t laugh? Any normal person would’ve burst out laughing.”
Honestly, it made a weird kind of sense.
Still, looking at Kuroda’s completely relaxed face made Kyousuke want to punch him.
Just as the vice-captain Tamaki Aonobu invited Kyousuke to join their impromptu "celebration," a subtle shift in the air triggered his instincts.
The crying had stopped.
He noticed immediately—but had no intention of warning anyone. Let Gorou vent a little.
‘Click.’
The door opened.
The room’s wild energy died in an instant… followed by a thundering shout:
“Nishinaaaa!!”
With a furious bellow and shinai in hand, Gorou burst out of the room like an avenging spirit, swinging wildly at the stunned group camped at the doorway.
A second ago, they'd been giggling smugly.
Now they scattered in all directions like startled pigeons.
“Wait, Gorou! I wasn’t laughing!”
“AAAAAAA!!”
“Spare me! I’ll set you up with someone new!”
“AAAAAA!!”
…
Watching Gorou chasing the others like a madman, while flailing his kendo around made Kyousuke doubled over laughing.
Zaimokuza, bulky and weighed down from his ridiculous strength-training (complete with weighted coat and wristbands), naturally ran the slowest.
He was the first to take a full hit to the rear.
“AAARGH!”
“YES!!”
The room exploded in both agony and applause. Zaimokuza screamed.
Hikigaya Hachiman cheered—the poor guy had been stuck in last place until Zaimokuza took the hit, buying Hachiman precious escape time.
‘Thud!’
Hachiman's forehead smacked against the floor.
“Ah, Hachiman... I knew it! Even at the end of the world, you'd still fight at my side!”
Zaimokuza, lying crushed and crumpled, looked up at him with teary, sparkling eyes of admiration.
“You dumbass! Let go of my leg!” Hachiman screamed, kicking furiously at Zaimokuza’s smug face.
“This is our unbreakable bond!!”
“Who the hell drags people down in the name of friendship?!”
“This is our unique, unparalleled connection! Hahaha—cough cough!”
Hachiman turned to see Gorou’s furious face, eyes wide and red—not sure whether from crying or pure rage—and the shinai raised high again.
In that moment, Hachiman saw his life flash before his eyes.
…But in the end, he only took one hit to the butt.
Painful, but manageable.
“Phew. I knew it. Even a blockhead like Gorou couldn’t bring himself to destroy the beautiful power of our friendship,” Zaimokuza sighed dramatically, wiping imaginary sweat from his brow.
One blow was nothing to a walking tank like him.
“YOU IDIOT!! What friendship?!” Hachiman yelled, wincing as he stood up, clutching his sore backside.
“Oh, right! We’ve evolved past friendship. It’s camaraderie forged in battle now!” Zaimokuza crossed his arms and laughed like an RPG boss character.
“More like mortal enemies!”
“Ah, Hachiman—” Zaimokuza began, but the thunder of footsteps behind them cut him off.
Gorou was chasing down the rest of the kendo club again.
“Alright! Round two! Let’s run!” Zaimokuza cried, posing like a shounen protagonist about to charge into battle.
“Quit acting like this is some inspirational sports anime!” Kuroda shouted as he sprinted by.
Zaimokuza struck a dramatic running stance—but—
‘THUMP!’
With a loud crash, he tripped and slammed to the ground, shaking dust from between the floorboards.
“Hey! Gorou! This guy laughed the loudest!” Hachiman, grinning wickedly, pointed accusingly at the downed Zaimokuza, then dashed ahead to join the fleeing crowd.
‘WHAM!!’
Another heavy thud.
Hachiman’s forehead was red and nearly bleeding.
“YOU TIED A ROPE TO MY LEG?!”
“Cough cough Hachiman! This is the essence of our bond! Anyone who tries to abandon the other will be punished by fate!” Zaimokuza cackled, holding a cloth rope tightly.
“Your version of friendship is getting more and more twisted!” Hachiman roared, just as he noticed Zaimokuza had already curled into a defensive ball.
‘THWACK!’
Another shinai smack to the butt.
“No time to rest! Our escape begins now! A brighter tomorrow awaits! Don’t die here, O Third Swordsman of Tokyo!” Zaimokuza shouted heroically, bouncing to his feet and swishing his oversized uniform dramatically.
“…Screw it. I’m not running anymore,” Hachiman muttered, both palms on the ground, his face hidden in shadow.
“What are you talking about?! Our training’s far from complete—we’re no match for Gorou! We live to fight another day, Hachiman!” Zaimokuza struck a flashy pose, flashing all eight of his teeth.
“AAAAAAAA!!”
Hachiman grabbed Zaimokuza’s hand and yanked him down, smashing his own head into the man’s face.
“HELP! Hikigaya’s possessed by a demon!!” Zaimokuza screamed, now grappling with him on the floor without holding back.
Meanwhile, Gorou’s shinai was finally wrestled away during the brawl.
A pile of students pinned him down in a shaky tower—but like any unstable pile, it collapsed.
Gorou broke free, crazier than before.
Sitting calmly at the side, Kyousuke couldn’t stop laughing.
Sakura was right. This was truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Apparently, he laughed too hard.
Gorou turned, eyes blazing red, and locked onto Kyousuke.
Vice-captain Tamaki Aonobu panicked—Gorou charging the club captain?! That was insubordination!
He tried to intervene but was held back by the others, all of whom wore wicked grins.
Aonobu, catching on quickly, played his part.
“Gorou! It was the captain’s idea! He said he’d beat us if we didn’t laugh!”
“That’s right!”
“Yeah, Hojou went too far!”
“This is about sacred love!!” Mitsuhashi Ryoma shouted dramatically.
Gorou didn’t disappoint.
He roared and charged.
And watching his crazed, determined face—followed by a sea of excited club members—Kyousuke couldn’t resist anymore.
With a grin, he stood up, raised his fists, and joined the chaos.
Gorou’s charging steps faltered for a brief moment—but before he could stop, the mob behind him surged forward and pushed him along.
“AAAHHHHHHH!!”
“Take down President Hojou!”
“Defeat the demon!”
“For justice and love!”
Amid a chorus of wild and absurd shouts, Kyousuke was completely swallowed by the stampede.
This was rough.
He didn’t even dare to use a tenth of his real strength—any more than that, and he might accidentally end up begging them not to die.
Luckily, his body control was top-notch.
A quick left hook sent the charging Gorou flying, spit trailing from his mouth.
Then, grabbing the overexcited Aonobu Tamaki by the collar and waistband.
Kyousuke executed a vicious throw, slamming him right into Ryoma and the others behind him.
The terrifying display froze the excitement on everyone's faces—but almost immediately, someone fearless took the lead and continued the charge.
“Hojou-dono! I’ll protect you!”
Zaimokuza Yoshiteru shouted boldly and charged forward like a wild boar, clearly up to no good.
But Hojou Kyousuke wasn’t fooled.
That devious grin on Zaimokuza’s face was a dead giveaway.
In fact, from the moment he joined the chaos, it was clear his true goal was to take everyone down with him.
A chaotic free-for-all? That’s boring.
The final boss deserves to enjoy the thrill of being ganged up on!
Just as Zaimokuza lunged at him, Kyousuke grabbed his arm, spun in place a full 360 degrees, and launched the human projectile right back into the crowd—twice the speed, twice the impact.
Hikigaya Hachiman, who had tried to sneak in under the radar, took the hit head-on.
He didn’t even get the chance to scream before being plowed into the people behind him.
Gorou, who had been knocked out at the start, was already back on his feet.
Everyone else was starting to realize that Hojou Kyousuke was holding back.
Knowing their president was going easy on them made them even more fired up.
Screams, cheers, shouts of rage.
Their objective shifted from “defeat Hojou Kyousuke” to simply “touch his clothes.”
After all, with so many people packed into such a tight space, it wasn’t long before someone managed to grab his leg.
“I got him! I won’t let go even if I die!” Tamaki shouted triumphantly—only to immediately be buried under a pile of bodies as more people clung to Kyousuke’s legs.
The classic human tower began to form.
These guys really were seasoned competitors; they knew exactly how to play without risking a disqualification.
But their strength was nothing compared to Kyousuke’s.
Even with both legs restrained, he kept tossing away anyone who dared climb over the growing pile of bodies like it was nothing.
The chaos grew more intense, especially when unexpected reinforcements arrived.
Hearing that Kyousuke had come to the Kendo Club, members of the Baseball Club rushed over, hoping to “reclaim” him.
But when they saw the human tower forming, their eyes lit up with glee.
They weren’t here to rescue him—they just couldn’t resist the temptation to join in.
Didn’t they understand the meaning of “clear the benches”?
When you see your teammates out there, it’s full team participation or nothing!
‘Fuuuh—'
Kyousuke let out a long breath and casually adjusted the bangs that didn’t need adjusting.
“Gotta admit... blowing off steam like this every now and then isn’t half bad.”
He glanced around at the crowd of groaning, sprawled-out club members and let out a satisfied sigh.
On the ground nearby, the Baseball Club captain, who had just tried to get up, quickly shut his eyes and went limp again.
The Kendo Club members followed suit, even slowing their breathing to play dead.
Once a year was enough. Any more than that might literally kill them.
“Alright, time to clean up and head home,” Kyousuke clapped his hands and called out.
“Yessir!”
The moment he spoke, the “dead” instantly sprang to life, full of energy.
“Hojou, you are coming to Baseball Club practice tomorrow, right?” said Tsuchiya Ryota, the captain, walking over with a sulky expression.
“Bullshit! The Summer Koshien preliminaries start in June! Hojou's not a god—you want him joining your games just to drag the team down? Better for him to stick to training with the Kendo Club!”
